The apartment was a welcoming surrounding of a life I had not enjoyed much of, but was at the very least, familiar with. I had stayed in this place longer than any other so far, and so I suppose it is enough to deem it as 'home.'
But it does not feel like what I imagined a home might.
A home is entirely different from a house. A home is filled with love and people to share it with. Living there alone, it seemed more of a dwelling, walls, a door, no memories, no laughter that once rang in the kitchen, or telephone calls with mundane conversation, or a family to share dinner with.
This has never been home to me. I might have had one once, in England. A very long time ago. But that was long since buried and forgotten. This place here, though I've made do with it, is about as welcoming as Egypt had been recently. It feels empty.
Before I woke up and found myself surrounded by my peers, sand whipping about me and the bright, hot sun of the desert, I did not remember much.
Most of my time in Domino has been a blur too. They tell me of things that I've said. I don't remember. They reminisce over past victories and adventures. I can't remember being there, but they assure me I was.
And I'm certain they're right. In body, at least.
Yugi once asked me if I could speak to the spirit of the ring, if we had regular conversations. Surely he must have wondered just how close we were, if we held a similar bond as he and the spirit of his puzzle did. Knowing Yugi though, even not being so close, he probably didn't entertain a suspicion at all of any possible collaborative effort. Though the Pharaoh might have, come to think of it.
I realized fairly early on that any effort of bonding would not be beneficial in the slightest. I had been versed in occult, it had always been an interest of mine, and I knew whatever the Millennium Ring had been through, it carried more than a single entity inside of it. There was a very distinct presence. Even though the pendant no longer hangs around my neck, I feel that heavy burden there, the heated gold, an unbearable weight. A weight that the spirit carried long before I did.
I was not told much of the world of memories. Yugi and his friends didn't speak freely of the Pharaoh's departure, or the final game that took place between the two spirits. Part of me didn't want to know, and yet I had questions. Now that it was all over, I didn't feel any relief. My body was used and my memories stolen from me, and a year of my life, and all I want to understand is why.
Yugi was reluctant to explain, and it was a wound I surely opened again. I didn't mean to, not maliciously, but so much was lost on me. I thought that if I had answers, I might feel something- understanding, closure. I could put Egypt behind me.
Though he was not able to explain much, there is a story there, buried beneath the sands of time. There was bloodshed, ancient magic, a deal with a devil. I can't say it wasn't a very alluring deal. Though I wonder if the price was worth it to you now. You were chasing after a home that no longer existed, and the ring became your dwelling. My own grief nearly consumes me now, but yours darkened over the past three thousand years.
I still write her letters. If I lived three thousand years later, would I still do the same?