Frozen: Night terrors
I couldn't sleep, the images kept coming; the first time I had hurt Anna, the feeling of being closed up, big or small, and worst of all Anna jumping in front of me. The terror in my heart, because it was my fault. Anna may see it differently but none of this would've have happened if it wasn't for me.
I also couldn't sleep because I had a feeling something was wrong with Anna. I couldn't fight this feeling anymore.
I pulled my robe over my nightdress and quietly opened the door. I silently walked out into the empty hallway, crept to her door, biting my lip, not sure what to do. Maybe I should go back to bed, there was no way anything was wrong. But I had let her down too many times, I had to just peek in and make sure she was alive.
Slowly opening her door I expected to see her dead or not there, but she was lying on her bed breathing slowly. A sigh slipped from me; she was fine. About to step out I noticed that she wasn't sleeping as peacefully as I had first thought. Anna was tossing and turning muttering to herself.
What was she dreaming about that had her so unnerved? Before I knew it I was by her bed; she kept muttering something, I leaned in closer, "Elsa!" I jerked back from Anna just in time to avoid her head hitting mine, though my hearing was off from the scream.
Anna looked around wildly, her eyes widened when she saw me standing there like a deer staring at a hunter.
What was I going to say, how could I explain this? Swallowing hard, I tried to say something. Anna was no help, she just stared at me. But when I really looked at her face it wasn't fear but she looked more vulnerable than I had ever seen her. Her lip was trembling.
I was shocked and not sure what else to do so I sat down on her bed and leaned over to her, slowly putting my arm around her.
But I couldn't think of anything to say. Maybe I didn't have to. Anna leaned her head against mine.I don't know how long we stayed like that until she finally opened her mouth."Why were you in my room?" I stiffened and was about to lie when I turned my head slightly and saw her face, open, hope written all across it.
"I guess it started because I couldn't stop dreaming about what happened"... I stumbled but continued, "a month ago. And I sort of had a feeling that you were in trouble." I paused not sure how to phrase my own question.
Anna smiled at me but it wasn't her usual smile, my eyes softened and I asked quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Her face dropped to her hands, twisting, she took a breath and pausing? Smiling at her I tried to encourage her. "Anna, it's going to be fine, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."
Anna jerked up, bumping my head with her own. "Ow!" but she didn't seem to notice. Anna started pacing the room, her fists clenched. What was going on?
"Where were you, huh? When mother and father died? Where were you when I had no one there? Or when Hans betrayed me?" she snarled, her fists still clenched, daring me to defend myself.
My heart froze from what I heard her saying, which is ironic with me being the ice queen, my heart should already be frozen. But Anna had thawed it, but she also had the power to freeze it again.
"That's right, you were running away, hiding. Like a coward."
I didn't know what to say, because she was right. I could feel the temperature drop, I had no control over my powers, my worst fear. And Anna just confirmed it. I had let my sister down.
I got up, ready to once again do what I always did, run.
No! I would never run again. I had to help Anna.
She was trembling waiting for me to run, to give up on her. But I wouldn't. Never again.
"You're right; I was running away. But not because I didn't want to be there for you," I slowly reached out to her hands, she didn't pull away. "I was running because I was so afraid of hurting you, it's why I came in, to make sure that you were still safe." My voice broke. "Safe from me. From getting hurt." Her eyes were wide staring at me, not sure what to say. She looked so scared. scared that I would leave her again. Leave her like everyone she loved.
I took a breath, "But I'm not running anymore. Because of you Anna, you took away my fear. And I want to help you the way you helped me."
I waited; it seemed forever but finally Anna gave a sob and ran into my arms. I held her, the way I had wanted to all those years locked up.
"I'm here Anna, and I'll always be here for you. I'm done running."