This is a companion piece to "I Found You". It is set sometime between Hawke and Fenris getting together, and the end (though I guess that is obvious. :)).
Hope you all enjoy!
The small elf turned her face toward the breeze that blew around her, head tilting up as if she was catching the smell of the sea that stretched out before her. She came here often, this little stretch of beach along the end of the wounded coast. It was a break from the city, and while it was no cool forest, it was quiet, and peaceful, and out of the way enough to not be frequented often, even by thieves looking for bolt holes. For a few moments each week she was no Grey Warden, no helper of the needy, no shoulder to lean on.
It was a glorious feeling.
Of course, that didn't mean that people didn't occasionally stumble upon her.
She heard them coming well before they appeared, though they made little noise, and she had turned her head and opened her eyes in enough time to see a figure jump down from a nearby rock and bush outcrop. He seemed surprised to see her, green eyes widening behind a fall of white hair for the briefest of moments before he composed himself.
She offered a smile, one designed to put others at ease.
"Fenris."
"Lyna." His answering call was paired with a curt nod, and he drew to a stop just past his jumping point.
She laughed to see it, knowing he would turn and go back the way he had come if she wished it, instead she patted the ground beside her and turned back to the water.
It took only a few moments before she heard him settling beside her, and turned to watch him as he maneuvered his sword to lie at his side. Finally he looked over to her, expression curious. "I think perhaps we have the same habits, but usually at different times."
She gave a nod, and picked up a shell to toss at the water. "I always wondered where you disappeared to." She saw him smile from the corner of her eye; the flash of teeth making him seem younger then she knew him to be, though he so often seemed so much older.
"Curious, but too polite to ask. I would probably have told you if you had… you would understand."
She nodded again. Yes, she would. They understood each other well, the grey warden and the ex-slave; each had their own share of hard memories that were impossible to escape, even when they desperately wanted to, even when they had something brighter to reach towards.
"We haven't seen much of you at the mansion lately," she stated casually, and bit back a smile as he flushed. He fumbled a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish on land a few times before she let her laughter burst out, and leaned over to wrap an arm around his. He shifted uncomfortably before huffing out a laugh of his own.
"No. I have been staying with Hawke."
She made a sound of agreement and tapped a finger on his arm before looking back out to the water and leaning against him companionably. "I'm glad you two have worked things out."
"For the most part, yes… I'm glad too." The last part was spoken softly, and might have been lost to the wind if she hadn't been listening for it. She beamed a smile toward the water and fell into an easy silence, both of them watching the waves lap at the shore in front of them. She knew him, knew he would like nothing more than to sit in silence, and also knew that talking too much would lead to him complaining about something. No, she let him have his quiet, she was no Isabela or Marian to make him smile with jokes, and she was no Aveline ready to curse at him or Merrill ready to attack with questions. She was no good at any of it, as Zevran liked to point out, though that might be why they got along so well.
The sun settled over the horizon, and they watched as gulls landed on the rocks out past the shore, battling the spray for scraps of dinner. Finally, her thoughts smooth enough to get her through the next few days, she glanced at him. "So, would you hate me if I asked you a question?"
He turned his head enough to give her a tilted smile. "For a question? No. Though I might for the fact that my arm is numb."
She stuck her tongue out at him, but obligingly released her hold on his arm and straightened, her legs folding under her. "Have you told her you love her?"
He didn't look at her, and his expression grew guarded. "She knows how I feel about her."
She had to smile at that. At the little frown that puckered his brow, and the way he suddenly wouldn't meet her eye. "Of course she does, but the words are still important. More important than anyone who hasn't heard them might realize."
He snorted and glanced her way. "Says the woman who uses words like a dagger, and has a mate who can't seem to stop spewing them."
The annoyed words made her laugh, and she leaned over to give him a fleeting kiss on his cheek. "You are correct about me, and I will tell you any time you want that I love who you are, lethallin, but for all that Zevran… spews… words, how often have those words had any serious meaning?"
He seemed to think about that, probably noticing the truth of her words. Zevran was her heart, but he was what he was, and serious conversations were done behind closed doors, and had to be pulled out of him like bad teeth. As Fenris settled into a brooding silence, she turned back to the sea, and let her mind drift.
She could hear the scrapping of a lock pick at the outer door even as she scrambled into the crawlspace and bolted the false wall behind her. She turned to see a gleam of golden hair reflecting in candlelight, and moved to kneel beside where Zevran sat, candle holder in hand. "I do believe that they have sent the entirety of Antiva after us this time." She smiled as she said it, and leaned in to brush a kiss against his lips before moving to pass him. "I lead them around long enough to give the others time to get out, but I think you are right about needing to leave Antiva."
"I am hardly ever wrong." She could sense the smile in his voice as well.
She heard him moving behind her, and saw the candlelight catch up to her along the wall. They continued in silence for several minutes, the scuffling of their armor as they crawled was a louder and louder echo the further they got from the safe house. Finally, she slowed, and turned to settle against the wall of the small tunnel, her knees raw and stinging from the uneven ground. She watched as Zevran settled diagonal from her, then scrubbed her hands over her face, trying without much luck to get the sweat and dust from her eyes.
"I love you."
Her hands froze in mid wipe. The words had been said low, barely penetrating the stillness around them, and it took her a moment to realize what he had said. She brought her hands down slowly, and a weight seemed to pull at her neck as she lifted her face to stare at him.
He wasn't looking at her, his amber eyes were fixed on the wall by her head, his face was dust lined and a cut along his jaw was crusted in old blood.
He had never said it before. Not in so simple a way. She tried to brush it off. "Only you, Zev, would say such a thing for the first time as we run for our lives from your blasted Crows."
He gave a shake of his head, and moved his gaze to hers; the dark shadows under his eyes making his face look sunken in the dim light. "I should have said it before, well before. I should have said it before you went to face the archdemon, and when you made it out alive. I should have said it when you were called to Amaranthine instead of running away and making you face it alone. I should have said it when I first saw you after you came here to find me. I definitely should have said it before you raced out this morning stating you were going to lure the entire Crow collective after you." He paused, scrubbing a hand over the dirt crusted wound, causing fresh blood to ooze out. All she could do was blink.
"Maker, sometimes I think I should have said it the moment I woke up after trying to kill you. But… no. I didn't say it; I had to wait until we were in some dark tunnel, praying that we won't be captured the moment we crawl out the other side."
Somehow she was in his arms. She wasn't entirely sure when she had moved, but she had pressed her lips to his, and her hands were fisted around the braids of his hair. She knew this wasn't the time or the place, but neither of them seemed to be doing well with timing, and when his hand came up to grip the back of her head and deepen the kiss she didn't care.
They were wasting time, both of them knew it, and they both pulled away at the same time, though neither seemed to be able to keep the smile from their face.
"Say it again." She gripped the belts that buckled across the front of his armor, and gave a small tug. "Just once more before we go. I almost missed it the first time."
He leaned forward and kissed the flame on the bridge of her nose, a hand coming up to brush her cheek. "I love you."
She gave another tug even as she nodded and moved away. "Right. Good. I love you, too. We need to move." With a single glance back at his smiling face she started into the dark.
"It was nearly three years before I heard them, and I didn't realize how much I had wanted to hear them until they were said. The actual words are important. It's something to think about at least."
She wasn't sure how long they had been sitting there, though the light around them had dimmed to a red glow, and her words caused him to jump. Blinking he looked over at her a moment before turning his gaze behind them. "Someone is coming."
They both watched as Zevran appeared at the top of the rocks, his brows raised in question. "Am I interrupting an interlude?"
Even as Fenris deepened his scowl, she laughed and pushed herself off the ground. "You caught us. Are you going to fight for my honor?"
He rolled his eyes and leaned against a nearby rock. "Hardly, I don't want to get messy if I don't have to."
"Hmm." She turned to reach a hand out and smooth it over Fenris' hair. "At least think of telling her before the end."
He looked up at her, brows still furrowed. "The end of what?"
She rolled a shrug and moved toward the rocks, her words drifting over her shoulder and back to him. "I don't know, but there has to be one, how else can the next story start?"
He watched the assassin help Lyna up the rocks, a hand falling onto the small of her back as the two waved their goodbyes and moved off; comfortable in a way that he and Hawke were still working on. Looking back out to the water, he ran his hand over the hair that Lyna had just smoothed down. He could still feel the heat of her hand on his head, an oddly motherly gesture that should make him uncomfortable. It didn't. She was good about getting away with things like that.
Losing a breathe, he stood and stretched out cramped muscles. He hadn't meant to stay out here so long, especially after seeing someone else, but there had been something easy about sitting and watching the water with the grey warden. Not the same as it was with Hawke, but almost like he remembered it had been with his mother and sister before he had received his marks.
He let the thought go as he reattached his sword to his back and climbed up the rocks to the path. Words. What did she know about him and Hawke. She didn't know what had been said, or not said, and Hawke was no weak woman who needed to be constantly reminded of his feelings. They had waited three years for each other. That alone was a testament to their feelings.
He stopped at the outskirts of town. No, that wasn't quite true. He hadn't waited for Hawke. She had always been there, always patient, always understanding. She was the one who had waited, unsure, but supportive, never pushing, but always right there at the edge of his thoughts.
He shoved the conversation out of his mind, not liking the thoughts it put into his head, he had told Hawke that he wanted to be beside her. Told her that he was never going to leave.
She knew how he felt.
That worked until he stepped into the foyer of her house. Stepped in and saw her standing at the fireplace, her hand running over the head of her dog. She turned to look at him, a bright smile on her face that made him squirm in guilt that he hadn't told her where he was going.
"I wondered where you had gotten off too. Lucky you are here, I was about to send Aveline and her guard to search for you." She continued to smile as she came up to him, pausing only the faction of a moment before leaning up to kiss him. "Have you eaten yet?" At the shake of his head she moved to make her way towards the kitchen.
He stopped her with a hand on her wrist. She looked back at him, curiosity plain on her expressive face.
He stared at her a moment, searching the well-known features until they furrowed in self-conscious confusion. Tugging lightly at her wrist, she breathed out a short laugh. "Fenris, what? Do I have something on my face?" She raised her other hand to wipe at it even as he shook his head.
"No, I… no."
"Then what?"
"I wanted to tell you something… I'm not quite sure how though."
She smiled at that, and twisted her hand around to grip his. "All at once is usually how I do it."
He nodded. Yes, like a stuck bandage. "I love you… I… I realized I hadn't said it before."
He watched her face morph from curiosity to surprise, and finally watched as the bright blue of her eyes softened. It appeared that Lyna had been right.
"I love you, too."
It was then that he realized she hadn't said it either, probably not wanting to scare him away, and gripped her hand in turn. It did feel different to hear it so plainly.
It seemed easier when she threw her arms around him, her mouth searching for and locking to his. It seemed right that they stood there wrapped in each other, the warm of the fire glowing around them, and it seemed right when she pulled away and he said it again.
