Something different. This is set in an alternative timeline after the Rido-arc. One-shot.
- TILL DEATH DO US PART -
His office is shrouded in darkness.
He doesn't mind it much; prefers it that way actually. Metaphorically and spiritually, he's been living in darkness his whole life – a life than spans thousands of years, in which a handful of those were spent with his eyes closed as he slumbered away.
Yes. He adores the darkness, and the darkness accepts him into its cool embrace. It's a win/win situation – in fact, the only time he can say he's won anything in his terribly long lifetime.
His elegant hand signs document after document meticulously. By now, he ought to be experiencing cramps or some sort of muscular defect in his hand – but the benefits of eternal longevity prevents him from faltering for even a second.
So he writes on, signs the bill required for a transfer; signs the records for the current Night Class; approves suggestions, denies accountability. All this he does automatically without much thought, as the moonlight filters in through an uncovered window.
Red eyes narrow as a scent he'd never thought he'd smell again except for in awkward family dinners registers. He inhales and shudders, wondering briefly if this is it – after twelve thousand years, he's finally losing his mind.
Finally the highly tuned neurons of his brain are deceiving him; finally his regenerating abilities are failing him and turning him into a lucid dreamer who dares imagine that it's her walking through the hallways. Finally he can call it a night; proclaim himself insane and let the hunter's association finish the job of wiping him out.
He grows hot in his luxurious leather seat. Why? Why is she here now? It can't be. It can't be. She would never… no, she said her goodbyes a long time ago.
She – the beholder of his heart, his eternal sun. She, who made him weak in the knees, weakening him to the point where he would offer anything to have her. His life. His blood. His sanity.
If she asked for his beating, bloody heart, he'd rip it out of his chest and hand it over without question.
But Kaname is an expert at the waiting game; he knows that there are still a few minutes left before she arrives at his room. He remains as calm and collected as a still ocean; reflecting the serenity of his darkened surroundings. Eyes stay glued to the papers in front of him while his mind wanders of and consider the possibilities.
His ancient, dusty heart beats frantically with renewed energy by her presence.
Suddenly he understands the significance of the human expression about having 'butterflies in your stomach'.
His former lover, his life; his everything is standing on the other side of the door, pausing, presumably collecting herself. He reaches out with his senses; tasting; feeling; almost touching her soul as he mourns the distance between them.
She is nervous, he deduces. So is he, though he'll never admit it.
She hesitates. Good, a cruel whisper floats in his mind, she should be hesitating.
Something… something is different this time around, though he can't put his finger on it. Could it be the years that have passed since they last saw each other? Could it be the maturity of her soul breeching through the protective shield on his? Is it her eyes – have they grown brighter or more vibrant – or have they grown dark and cold by the world betraying her? Could it be her fully-grown hair – hair that he longs to touch and to feel slip through his fingers?
Kaname doesn't know. He won't know until she opens that door and blesses him with her presence.
A timid knock interrupts his musings. His heart leaps into a gallop; soaring through his chest like a racing horse.
"Come in," he utters calmly, sounding like he couldn't be more bothered.
The door creaks and he winces slightly, angry that Hanabusa still hasn't oiled the hinges like he told him to months ago. But that minor frustration is erased the second she steps into the darkness of his office.
She lights it up without a candle in her hand; spreads her radiance on every object in the room without touching them. She is the light of his life and for the first time in years he's catching a glimpse of her.
Yuuki's hair is long and luscious, slightly darker than before but still the same hue of brown that he remembered. She is dressed rather conservatively; a black skirt hugs her waist and ends above her knees; her white blouse is buttoned and the black blazer adorning her shoulders gives her a professional look. She looks taller, but with one quick look at her black heels, he knows that she is still the petite girl he used to know.
Well, not girl, he muses as his eyes quickly scan her appearance – woman.
She is 24 now, freshly graduated and doing important things with her busy life. Her face mirrors her maturity; her skin is smooth and plump, yet there is a sliver of wisdom and knowledge that burns in her cinnamon eyes that makes her seem older and experienced. She doesn't smile, but he notices her raspberry lips quiver slightly as she gazes at him.
She is the same, yet different. A woman, yet… somehow she seems incomplete. She's not fully grown despite her lawyer degree and human rights activism; in fact, she's skinnier than he remembers, and it worries him immediately. Garnet eyes trace the tautness of her shoulders and the lack of flesh on her legs.
She's half the girl he used to know, and half the woman she's supposed to be.
And yet, she still shines like the sun, blinding him with her luminosity.
No words are exchanged as they stare at each other; the silence between them transforms into an almost physical shape, pushing down on them like the weight of a thousand bricks. The silence wraps itself around their windpipes; suddenly it's hard to breathe in the proximity of each other. Words become foreign; reason damned and, most importantly, the art of decorum and composure shrivels to nothing.
But he collects himself.
"What a surprise to see you here, Yuuki…" He says, calm and collected like always.
His love swallows, her heart speeding up. He marvels at the sound. So she does have a heart after all.
"It's been a while…" She says, and suddenly Kaname wants to jump off a bridge and feel himself falling. Surely after hearing her voice again, he can't possibly live on pretending like everything is fine?
Her eyes darken as memories claim her. He understands immediately what she's thinking of; he's thinking of it too – like he has ever since they parted five years ago.
The night he lured her into his bedroom and took her virginity. Found a home between her legs and poured all his love into her. The night they finally consummated the overpowering love between them, tuning out the electricity that always seemed to crackle between them. The night she wrapped her legs around him for the first and last time; their parting gift to each other, fulfilling the unspoken promise that had existed between them for years.
They would be each other's first. After so many years of yearning and pining, she had no more excuses or walls to keep him out. And she welcomed him like she never wanted to let him go.
But she did, anyways.
Thirst roars in his veins, but he ignores it, all too familiar with the pain to even be bothered. Shy fangs want to say hello from his upper lips, but he scolds them and tucks them in, hiding his nature from her.
Yes. She is still human and delectable.
Five years ago he claimed her body and made it his; confessed his love and all his sins and basked in her embrace. The next day she packed her bags and moved to the big city; they never spoke again of that night, and eventually, all contact ceased between them.
She built a life for herself; made friends and a career – even got a boyfriend, according to the chairman.
He was supposed to be happy for her, but he wasn't. He was sour and bitter. Heartbroken and lonely; his life losing a degree of saturation for each day that went by.
He'd told himself that after dealing with Rido, he would give her a choice. Fortunately for him, his plans panned out even better than he anticipated. What he thought would be an immediate consequence of Yuuki digging into her past – her becoming a vampire again despite her mother's sacrifice – never happened. No, Yuuki remained human even through the battle with Rido and the aftermath. For some reason, circumstance and the meddling of fate produced a world where Yuuki remained blissfully human – and blissfully ignorant of her true background and lineage.
Moreover, she still didn't know who he truly was. But she had an inkling; an intuition that told her that there was more to his eyes and his cover stories, yet through a confrontation she'd had with him after Rido attacked the school, she'd decided that she didn't want to know.
And he should've been happy. Yuuki was human, living a life under the sun and creating a life for herself. The planets were surely aligned to create such good fortune.
Yet his heart broke everyday.
After Rido was dealt with, Kaname kept his identity hidden as he worked behind closed doors to pull out the bad seeds from the Council. With hard work and the blessing of time, he managed to momentarily stabilize and deconstruct vampire society to his favor.
He continued his scholarship at the Academy, overseeing the Night Class while semi-ruling over vampire society. He was blessed with a calculative mind and superior powers; handling the school and the changes in society were at best a minor challenge to him.
No, the real challenge was staying away from the girl who held his heart in the palm of her hand.
After Rido's grueling attack on the academy, Zero was sent away to work in the special ops division of the Hunter's Association. He was hesitant at first, but surprisingly, the young hunter went along with it and said his goodbyes to Yuuki who wished him a safe trip and a safe life and hoped for many visits from him whenever he had the time.
This left the female prefect alone, and suddenly there was no shield preventing him from approaching her.
The peace of no longer having Rido at the back of his mind, stealing away his sleep and his peace, filled him renewed courage and hope as he slowly initiated a tentative relationship with Yuuki. They were 'friends' at first – but really, they were everything but. Years of shared memories – and those memories only he was privileged enough to remember – made it hard for the two of them to stay away from each other.
Supposed friends turned into stolen kisses among the trees at the academy. Tentative hugs turned into slow dancing beneath the moonlight. A simple kiss on the cheek turned into a make-out session on his coach. Her vocal chords stopped producing the vowels in Kaname-sama and changed it to simply Kaname
They held hands whenever people looked away; slept beneath the stars whenever he had a decent excuse to send the Night Class away.
And still she wouldn't turn.
He was supposed to be understanding and supportive; but his hunger was consuming him day by day; for every kiss he wanted to rip another piece of her clothing; for every touch he wanted to rip away another layer of her skin and drink the luscious blood of her veins.
But he could not do such a thing; not to her. Not as long as she didn't want it.
Suddenly, the time to move on came. Yuuki applied to college in the city and got in due to intense study efforts the past two years. The two of them graduated, though he decided to remain at the Academy as he had duties and responsibilities to see to.
One desperate night he clung onto her and offered her the world and eternity, unable to hold his tongue. He begged her to stay while reprimanding himself for being selfish. Kaname Kuran almost wept that night when she told him that while she loved him more than she could ever love someone, the thought of becoming a vampire scared her far too much.
It was not a life for her, she explained softly, and he nodded in response, feeling the ghost of Juuri Kuran sigh softly in relief next to him.
Her untouched past was a taboo topic; she never spoke of it again after the ordeal with Rido and their little confrontation, and it seemed like she'd put it to rest forever.
And it was better this way. She was human and living in the sun. Like she deserved.
But that last night they had together; the last time they saw each other for years to come, he couldn't hold back, and neither could she. He invited her into his darkness and she followed him willingly. Between kisses she whispered to him that she'd saved herself for him all these years, yearning for his touch.
She'd pulled him in that night and marked him forever; her quiet moans and whispered confessions forever seared into his mind. With perfect clarity he could recall every moment and every caress; even to this day, his superior mind would not fail him in its consistent torment.
And, five years later, here she was.
"To what do I owe this wonderful visit? Surely you are not here to check up on me. No…" His eyes narrow on her petite form. "You need something."
"I've hurt you," she says quietly. "For that, I apologize. You need to understand that when I left, it–"
"My feelings are irrelevant," he brushes her off, shuffling some of the papers on his desktop nonchalantly. "What do you want?"
"It's… good seeing you again," she whispers, her eyes glistening in the darkness of his room.
"You look different," Kaname quips, not willing to let her soften him up. For he is hurt and his emotions are overpowering; but for the sake of both of them, he suppresses them.
"And you don't," she says, staring bravely back at him.
"Pros of immortality," he says, his face devoid of emotion and color.
"Immortality…" She trails off, finally animating her limbs as she moves over to the open window and glances at the moon.
He is entranced by her; sees her bathe in the moonlight and wishes he were the moon that she so adoringly gazes at. He wishes he were the one embracing her; that he was the one she came home to every night.
"It's why I left you in the first place," she says, turning around and crossing her arms. "And why I've come back."
"Do tell." He doesn't move an inch as his curiosity is piqued. He allows no emotions to filtrate the mask of his face.
She must not see him crumble.
"I want you to turn me."
She almost sees him crumble.
Kaname's mouth doesn't move for a while; for a second Yuuki starts to believe that the elusive pureblood has turned into a statue before her. Should she call the Chairman? Is this a common state for him?
But he surprises her by speaking, his voice quiet. "And why is that?"
She hesitates, unable to spill the truth. It's on her tongue, burning like hot sauce yet she holds it back.
He interprets her silence as indecisiveness. "Last time, it was I who asked you… Yet you were adamant about your preference for the human world. You…" His eyes narrowed on her skinny bones and pallid complexion, taking notes of the bruises she hid beneath her sleeves.
His intuition hadn't lied to him earlier. Something about her was not like it was supposed to be.
Something was wrong.
"You're sick," he deduces, leaning back into his seat as he felt worry creep up his spine.
"Cancer," she says calmly and evenly, her shoulders slumping as she drops her façade. "Acute Leukemia."
His breath rushes out of his lungs. He feels the pain blossom in his diaphragm, like a ghost had kicked him violently. His hardened lungs fight to deal with the flow of oxygen as he denies himself the right to breathe for the moment.
Suddenly he saw her clearer than ever. Her hollow eyes and the dark circles that framed them; her paper-thin, lusterless skin; the dramatic weight loss and the stench of despair and desperation and illness that emanated from her.
His sun was dying, light beams scattering around the universe one last time, travelling for years and years as her mortal body caved in on itself. Slowly his world darkened at the thought of her disappearing forever, like a candle being snuffed out by a cruel breath of wind.
His beloved is a corpse walking around, waiting for her burial date.
She understands his silence all too well; Yuuki was not mistaken about the pureblood's feelings for her, and no doubt had her news made his world shatter in some ungodly fashion. She deemed it only right to explain further, if not only to fill the crushing silence between them.
"It was all so sudden. One minute I'm prepping a case, and in the next I'm fainting. The doctors said it originated from my bone marrow and spread rapidly. I'm already at a late stage, and the doctors are having a hard time trying to find a solution. They said it happened over a matter of days… One day I was healthy, and the next I had cancer. It's like… my body gave up on the mortal life before I ever had a chance to experience it. Like… I was never meant to last as a human."
The window next to him crushes; shards of glass shatter onto the floor, glittering in the moonlight as they sully his expensive carpet. She closes her eyes as another one caves in under the pressure of his impressive powers.
Her eyes open and he is still sitting in his chair, as still as a statue. He is grace and beauty; raw power and wickedness, all of it wrapped into one mysterious pureblood she could never completely fathom. But she supposed it was his mystique that always drew her in; his alluring eyes and burdened soul; his gentle caress and smile that he only reserved for her.
This man was home to her. And she'd run away from him because she wasn't brave enough to move into his world.
And now her body was giving up, telling her to rest. It was failing her in every department; her blood running colder and colder, white blood cells increasing like it was Christmas and it was snowing. She'd been healthy and fit; she'd been eating vegetables and fish and fruits and meats, and yet, her body had quit on her only after a few short days.
Her doctors called it a medical mystery, enrolling her in experiments and trials, which she refused to participate in. She denied any treatment, walking home from the hospital in a trance.
Her illness was in her blood; and her remedy lay also in her blood.
She'd always known, deep down, that her human appearance was no more but a farce. But she'd refused to delve into it. She'd tried to pretend that living the good human life was her ideal dream; that a life without vampires and supernatural mystery was something she'd put to rest.
And yet, here she was.
"So now you wish to become immortal," he said quietly, rising so elegantly from his chair she believed he was a ghost.
"I want to live," her voice shook.
"You want to live," he repeated, keeping his distance as he eyed her. "Without me."
"You are so quick to withdraw yourself from my future. You always were."
"I tried to hold onto you, Yuuki," his voice rose in volume despite himself, "have you forgotten that?"
"And I was foolish to believe even for a second that I could live a fulfilled life without you," she whispers hoarsely, her cinnamon eyes pleading with him to understand.
"Yet you only seek me out when you have no other option. Only when it's a matter of life and death," he smiles sinisterly, fangs glinting in the darkness of his mouth.
"I kept my distance because it was the only way I could ever survive!" She yells, a rush of color returning briefly to her cheeks before disappearing again. "If… If I saw you again, I knew I'd immediately want to stay with you. I knew that by just one look you would capture me and hold me captive, and I would be powerless against you. Not because of your strength, but because of my weakness for you. I… I didn't think I could be your equal. I didn't think I could last eternity with you, because ultimately, I wouldn't be enough…"
"Your ignorance is ever present, Yuuki," he hisses. "There is so much you don't know… so many truths and secrets and ugly scars you've never seen before. But what you do know, and have known for the longest of time, is that I love you."
She closes her eyes and sighs, holding a weary hand to her forehead. "I tried… I tried to let you go… I let someone put a ring on my finger, but it burned my skin and bones. I tried erasing your name from my mind, but I kept re-appearing like a tattoo. I did everything in my power to create a life for myself in an effort to forget you. But I'm here now…"
He smiles wistfully. "You're here because you want my fangs in your neck and my poison in your veins. You do not have do delude me into believing anything else. This world of mine… you don't belong in it."
"Don't you understand?" She cries as tears make their way down her cheeks. "I was never meant to live my life as a human! The cancer is just a symptom of a greater illness; it's me being in the wrong body; it's my fate twisting and turning onto the wrong path. It's the heavens telling me that if I don't wake up soon, my time will be up. I belong with you, Kaname. By your side. Always. Forever. You know this too, and that's why…" She took a step forward. "You can't let me go, the same way I can't let go of you. I love you. I've loved you from the day you saved me in the snow to the night we made love and until this very moment."
The scent of her blood permeates the air; thick and heady, almost tangible to his finely tuned senses. Normally he would've cried out in joy at the scent of her blood, but this time around it's terror rather than hunger that claims him. He can taste the illness in her blood as she pants and coughs, a trail of red dribbling down her chin.
This was beyond any fear he'd ever felt before in this life. This was true and gruesome fear; this was anxiety; this was panic; it was alarms going off constantly in his head; his instincts and intuition screaming at him to save the only light he'd ever known.
"Yuuki…" His voice is broken up and fragmented; his voice cords unable to function properly under the weight of his emotional turmoil.
Tissue in hand, she coughs, feeling like life itself it being drawn out of her lungs and sucked into the underworld where a spot with her name on is waiting.
She is dying.
Minute by minute.
Kaname discards any notion of heartbreak and mistrust as he rushes forward and captures her frail body in his arms. He wants to cry out as he feels her bony shoulders and narrow waist next to his body. He wants to damn the god he knows doesn't exist for daring to subject his beloved to this fate, but he doesn't.
Because deep down he knows that it would always end up like this. She was born a vampire; turned against her will into a human and preserved that way for many years. It was not natural nor justified whatever the ultimate end was supposed to be. Somewhere along the road, he knew he'd have to use his own life to seal hers forever, however in an uncharacteristically miscalculation done by him, he'd been too late.
How ironic wasn't it that it was her blood that was currently killing her? The same blood that inherently was supposed to heal and preserve her for eternity and beyond. In her veins was the purest of pureblood; the same blood than ran in his veins, yet it had been programmed and sullied by a wicked spell.
Suppressing your true nature would always result in terrible consequences.
Her dying in his arms was the ultimate one.
"Yuuki," he whispered against her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
She only hugged him tighter, inhaling his comforting scent. She felt so safe and so warm… home.
"I'm sorry for not doing my part earlier… but it has come to this point now. You know by now that should anything happen to you, I would dissolve immediately. There would be no point in me surviving you. You are my life."
She pulls back and looks up at him, hollow eyes begging him to give in.
"Save me," she whispers hoarsely, her throat sullied by the rotten blood she'd coughed up minutes ago. "Please, please, please…"
Kaname feels his heart crush and split in half. The fact that she is dying; days away from her imminent death makes panic unlike no other well in his body, like a tidal wave crashing into him and bringing him off his feet. He can't exist in a world where she's no longer breathing; laughing; smiling; weeping; sleeping; talking – living.
At the same time he is hesitant about bringing her back into his darkness. His selfish side wants to kidnap her and keep her at his side forever, while his conscience screams at him to do right by her. Pay her treatments; go to church, get on his knees, pray, pray, and pray until she is healed. Let her go. Give her away at the altar to a man who can give her a fulfilled life full of joy. Buy her children gifts for christmas; watch over them when she's away.
Attend her funeral.
He grabs her shoulders and steadies her. "If I do this, you must stay with me. You must promise to let me protect you, at least until you are strong enough to survive on your own. You–"
"I'm staying with you forever, Kaname," she says so softly and gently. "I've found my place now, and it's next to you. Dead or alive."
He nods silently.
To be selfish or selfless?
Give in or withstand the pain of watching her suffer and die?
Betray the promise he made to Juuri, or sacrifice his own life in an attempt to serve her?
He tips her head to the side, eyes glowing red as his tongue traces her neck. She shudders and he is reminded of the time they made love; how softly she fit into his arms and how perfect it felt being inside of her.
He doesn't deserve her.
But he takes her anyways.
His fangs launch into her neck as she screams in pain. He drinks like a parched man walking the desert; the moon shines down appreciatively as her back bumps against the window while his weight pushes her into it. He can taste death in her blood; feel its presence looming closer in her broken cells and scarred genes. The little grain of life she has left is the only thing that can sate him, and he savors it greedily.
She slumps lifelessly against the window, her eyes shining in the moonlight as she looks up at him drowsily. Kaname wastes no time, keeping his eyes locked with her dying ones as he bites his wrist and tears through the skin and bone, drawing out his poison.
He pulls away from his wrist and cradles her face, leaning in slowly. Her head tips up; he can see both lust and desire and death and despair in her eyes; he takes all of it in as he reaches her lips with his, urging her to open up.
Yuuki obliges, swallowing his blood as he coaxes it into her mouth, the action so intimate and erotic he wishes their circumstances were different. She massages his tongue with hers, capturing every drop of blood she can acquire.
Kaname moans into her mouth and retracts for a second to nip his tongue with his fang, making sure the blood is spilling inside her mouth. Her hands wrap around his neck as she brings him close and kisses him again, her pants echoing in the silence of the room as he holds her tightly against him.
Their kiss is the line that separates them between life and death. It means everything to him; it's his personal catharsis; his absolution and salvation knowing that he is the only one who can save her and keep her alive. For a moment he feels peace; comfort; safety; love – burning, hot, wicked, snaring him in its grasp the same way she clutches onto him for dear life.
He is overwhelmed by emotion, and dear god it feels so good to feel for once.
They kiss until her breath escapes her. She passes out in his arms, her heart giving in and adjusting to his healing poison as he gathers her in his arms. Her high heels tumble off as he walks over to his silky black sheets, laying her down in the middle like she is his sacrificial bride.
Garments slip away from her body as he peels them off, leaving her in her underwear. He releases a broken sigh at the sight of her famished and weakened body.
Never again, he promises as he crawls on top of her and kisses her forehead.
He can feel neither improvement nor decline in her health; for the time being she swerves between life and death, her body and his poison changing her molecular DNA forever.
Death lingers in the room. Kaname turns his back to it, shielding her as he chains his soul to hers, refusing to let it slip through his grasp.
Her warmth seeps through his clothes and onto his skin. It's a sign of life, of love; of passion, joy, and happiness.
He wants to keep her warm for the rest of eternity.
As she turns into his embrace and buries her head in his chest, he sighs softly, hugging her tighter against his beating heart.
He remembers the moment he first held her when she was newborn. She'd looked at him with such big and adoring eyes, her little hand clutching onto his finger like he was her lifeline. From then on he'd been smitten; his infatuation blooming as she blossomed into the woman she was today, forever capturing his heart and keeping it with her. Now, years later after he held her for the first time, she was in his arms again, using his life-source to sustain her own. It was poetic justice; right but wrong, the beginning and end of life. He whispers softly into her ear, knowing all too well that she can't hear him in her dreamlike state.
"Till death do us part, Yuuki."