Title: Cold Hearted

Rating: M

Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

Author's Note: This is an AU with a slow plot, mainly focussing on the relationship of Chuuya and Dazai but be aware that the OC will also be a major plotpoint.

Disclaimer: Except for the OC, Alfie Lewison, I don't own any of these characters. All rights goes to Bungou Stray Dogs respective owners Hirukawa and Asagiri Kafuka.

Be aware, this story contains malexmale relationships.

- Prologue -

*Aflie POV *

When I was little I would always smile. Even in bad times I would always look for something to be optimistic about. I was thankful for the things I had. A warm bed to sleep in, delicious food served with love, my wonderful friends, my caring parents, endless opportunities, a beautiful future awaiting me.

Those memories, filled with hope and love. I wonder if there were any signs I missed. A warning that didn't hold any significance back then. Who would've thought that your whole life, you entire being could just be taken away in a matter of seconds.

In those seconds I experienced an overflow of emotions. I was so scared. I was furious, morbid. As I watched everything I ever loved be swept away in front of my eyes in utter despair. It was sickening. In those moments of panic I was being nailed to the floor. I couldn't save them. Blame and regret weighed upon me but I still couldn't bring myself to do something but stand there as the coward I was. I wanted to, I really wanted to save them but I'm no hero. My body took control of my mind. My legs, as selfish as they were began to run. Ahead of me was an emotionless void.

Since then there is a hole in my heart. Traumatised by those events I have been suppressing those memories. Sometimes they come back to haunt me in my nightmares. It hurts so much. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I don't want to feel anything. Because every single emotion takes me back to that time. The time I was happy. And even the memory of that happiness hurts because of the realisation that that happiness is gone. Along with my warmth, my appetite, my love, my friends, my parents, my hope, my future.

And thus I am where I am today. Seven years later. Sitting on a bench in my local park in mid-summer, freezing my but off. Looking at the people around me. They make me feel jealous. Jealous of all the things they have, not even realizing how precious and fragile they are.

Jealousy and melancholy are the only feelings I can experience nowadays. The only things that make me different from sociopaths. Except for those I am completely indifferent to world.

Looking at the world with a stoic expression.

Laughing children chasing each other. An old couple looking lovingly at one and another. The thrilling excitement that one dog expresses with his tail. Two teens looking longingly at each other. Eyes full of lust of the male. The frightened expressions those little girls hold. And then, there is me. Feeling nothing but jealousy and melancholy. Heart so cold.

- Chapter 1 -

*Chuuya POV*

The Oalsom.

The word that felt so distant and nostalgic. It reminded me of the smell of the Chocolate Cosmos flowers that were planted in the small garden of the shelter. I used to spent all my days there, looking at those mesmerizing flowers.

Those times I spent there were nice and quiet. The others rather prefered to cause mischief to the maids of The Oalsom because of this I would always be alone. Until he appeared out of nowhere…

A boy covered in bandages that never bothered to try and communicate with his fellow peers. He seemed to think that he was better than everyone else. He'd snort and roll his eyes at everything. He couldn't care less. And I didn't care either unlike the others who eagerly wanted to push him into telling them who exactly he was, how he ended up here, what the deal were with those bandages, what his ability was, ... Ironically I was the one who he told those things to.

*Flashback*

I ran down the stairs. Lady Olivia told us that after our room was cleaned up we were free until 9:30 pm and had to get ready for bed. I wanted to use this time to clear my head and unwind a little by reading the book 'The sign of four'. After that I planned to go socialize a bit with the others. When I went to the garden I saw him sitting there. On MY bench! The bench in front of the beautiful red flowers, where I sat on my own every. single. day. (Except for when it was raining…) for almost 9 years. It was my special place I could be alone. Him being there doesn't fit this concept of 'being alone for once'. Why does he all the sudden had to… ugh. I sighed and turned around to skip my usual peaceful routine to go back inside until he spoke.

"Ah, Nakahara, you're not leaving because I'm here are you?"

Duh…

"Ahem, no it's just.. I uhm.. I thought you wanted to be left alone since your not the social type." I utterer.

"Oh the contrary! Please accompany me Nakahara-san." He smiled friendly.

...Oh the contrary? Accompany him? Who does he think he is? And who does he think I am? Common folk don't speak that fancy?

"Kay." I dryly said.

He chuckled.

I sit beside him keeping my distance, hoping he wouldn't start small talk. Why is he being so friendly to begin with? He thinks everything is boring after all as he treats the others as they are not worth listening to.

"So… Nakahara Chuuya." He suddenly said.

At this I raised an eyebrow. Why does he try to provoke me out of all people?

I sighed: "So...Osamu Dazai."

"You always come here after duties. Why don't you try pranking the maids like the others? I heard that today they are planning to scare lady Olivia by crafting spiders and putting them in her bed. To be honest, they actually don't look that bad considering they were made by a bunch of twelve years olds." Dazai spoke.

I gave a small smile at that. "Ah the infamous spider prank, been there, done that. Who do you think invented that one eh?" I asked proudly.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I have been living here since I was 6. After some years you get tired of plotting pranks. I've outgrown it." I stated.

It's not that I'm a loner, I do talk with my fellow peers, I simply can't see the fun in pranking the maids with a bunch of twelve year olds. After all I am 15, the oldest, except for Dazai who is 16, here. I rather want to peacefully read a book from time to time.

"You have been living in this hellhole for 9 years?" He blurted out.

Ah there it is… Hellhole. Honestly the Oalsom isn't that bad. Unwanted children who were in a way related to the Port Mafia were dumped here. Rather you were the child of a member, an abandoned child of an ex-member or an orphan with a special ability you were put in the special Shelter of the Port Mafia for exceptional children, The Oaslom, where they taught you how to use your ability, how to fight, martial arts, … All the things you need to survive and one day join the Port Mafia. We also got normal classes like Japanese, English, Math, Physics, etc. We are given decent food, proper clothes, education, a library, a beautiful garden, rooms with neat bunkbeds where I had the luxury that I didn't have to share because there were plenty of rooms for everyone. In total we were with 28 and everyone can get along. Life was fairly well actually. The only liability was that we weren't allowed to go outside of The Oalsom. Then again at the age of 16 you may take a step in the world with supervision, from that age the real education begins. You take a look into the Port Mafia base and sometimes you are allowed to go on minor missions with some of the members. Then at the age of 18 you have no choice but to join the Port Mafia. Then the real Hell begins. Forced to take any order, after all you own your life to the Port Mafia. No… They own you.

"Hellhole? You shouldn't complain really. Everyone shares the misfortune of being abandoned or unwanted. Every single one of us doesn't have a choice, one day you join the Port Mafia, that's the reality. You can either accept it and enjoy the security you are given here or you can whine about it like you are the only one who doesnt belong here. It's up to you." I bluntly stated.

After that you would've thought that this made the guy hate me. I couldn't be more wrong.

He suddenly leaned forward, a bit too close to my face. His lips were curled up in a smirk and his eyes looked at me defiantly. THEY LOOKED AT ME DEFIANTLY! WHAT WAS HE GETTING AT? DID HE WANT TO CHALLENGE ME? IS THIS SOME KIND OF STARE OFF?! OH IT'S ON!

I have a very competitive personality…

I leaned in even closer, noses almost touching, and looked fiercely in his eyes.

This, he did not expect, neither did I expect the thing he did next.

He kissed me.

For about 3 seconds he pressed his warm lips against mine. After those two seconds I came to realisation and pushed him back.

THAT WAS NOT A STARE OFF!

"Wooooo, wo wo wo wow. … Hold on." I breathed out.

…

*Awkward silence in which Dazai looked at me like I said something about cute innocent puppies.*

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" I blurted out.

At that he just chuckled and looked away from me. He was staring at the Chocolate Cosmos flowers in front of us then he suddenly stood up.

"You know, I don't think that I'm better than everyone nor that I don't belong here. The thing is, I do belong here, more than any of you guys. You are the ones who are actually better. You haven't committed any crimes for being born… I am not like you. You all fear for the day you are forced to join the Port Mafia, unlike me, I actually look forward to it. Every day will be exciting and unsure whether you survive. I think that's what makes you cherish it more. As for you…" He pauses and looks at me from head to toe, then smiles and continues his monologue.

"Chuuya…" He says while giving me a smirk.

I gulped. I gulped dammit.

"I think you are the only thing that fairly interests me here. Let's meet up here often." He says and before I can even manage a word he wanders off back inside.

…

I need to comprehend this.

He kissed me.

…

He probably fooled around and wanted to see my reaction. Yeah he probably did it because my flustered state would amuse it. Yeah ok, that must be it. Okay, next.

…

He contradicted basicly everything that was known about him. He claims he isn't a cocky bastard that thinks he is better than the rest of us. Well the 'thinks he is better than us' part isn't true. I still have my doubts about 'the cocky bastard' part.

…

And then there is his reasoning. Still skeptical about it. I mean he suddenly popped up two months ago out of nowhere at the age of 16 which is very unlikely since everyone came in at a fairly young age. And then there are those bandages around his arms and his neck. And the fact that we, except for his name, know nothing about the guy.

…

"You haven't committed any crimes for being born… I am not like you. You all fear for the day you are forced to join the Port Mafia, unlike me, I actually look forward to it." He said.

Did he mean he did commit a crime?

He actually looks forward to join the Port Mafia?

Why? Maybe he is one of those types who constantly chases after thrills?

But then again he doesn't seem so. He is always quiet and well mannered.

He never tries to initiate a conversation nor is he a hindrance to anyone.

…

Why exactly did he try to provoke a conversation out of me?

…

"I think you are the only thing that fairly interests me here. Let's meet up here often."

He did say that, didn't he.

He caught intrest in… me?

Also did he call me a thing…? That cocky bastard.

Yep he really is.

Wait.

He wants to meet up often like this?

Was that what this was?

Was this his way of befriending me?

That would explain the sudden share of information about him. Well sort off.

I sigh. Well if he really just wants to become friends then there is no reason to not give him a chance. Sure he is a rather mysterious, kinda strange fellow but then again, who knows what he has been through? I have been skeptical with him from the start.

I look at the flowers.

Well… I guess I can give him a chance.

*End of Flashback*

The Oaslom?

There went a sudden chill through my spine.

That place was filled with memories.

Memories I'd rather forget.

Memories that were filled with laughter, trust, love.

Memories of my friendship with Dazai Osamu.

Although they are pleasant memories, I can't help but feel an intense hate towards them, towards him.

"May I ask, why me sir?" I asked to the boss of the Port Mafi, Ougai Mori.

"Why do you ask permission if you ask it anyways? May I remind you that your job is to follow orders without a question. Isn't that clear to you, Chuuya?" He asked smiling but on a dangerous tone.

"My apologies sir, I understand. I will go right away." I say and bow.

"Hmm. You have been excused." He responded.

"Yes sir." I say and take my leave.

Why me out of all the members? It isn't my job to investigate. I'm an executive dammit. Investigation is for the minors. Fuck this. Fuck Mori. Fuck the mafia. If he could leave he would, without a second thought. But the only one who actually managed to successfully leave the Port mafia without being killed for it is that waste of bandage, Dazai.

Fuck him. Fuck me. Wait no, don't...fu...dammit!

The Oaslom had been 'attacked' a week ago. There weren't any wounded or anything however something did happen there but nobody knows what exactly.

It all happened overnight. Suddenly all the maids and teachers began to act like they had severe anxiety disorders. All of them. At same time. Like a switch flipped in all their heads and caused them to act paranoid. Some thought their was a complot going on against them, to eliminate them, others were convinced they were being chased down by monsters. Then there were the ones who suffered from extreme hallucinations. They were the worst to handle considering that they were in a state where they didn't have control over their ability.

Then there were the children. Youth will always be rebellious but not to the extent of breaking every single thing that could break, flipping all the tables and chairs and destroying beds, clothes, books. They screamed, jumped , crawled, yes they freaking crawed as they were beasts. I heard that they also tried threatening one of the maids to undress herself… Much to the anxiety of the certain maid. Needless to say it was a complete chaos.

And if you thought it couldn't get worse…

They actually escaped. Yes, now thirty rebellious children and teens were on the louse. And not to mention they had abilities that could easily kill people.

Oh the Port Mafia was an utter catastrophe filled with headless chickens freaking out how to handle this situation.

I should be the one trying to keep everything under control in the city and trying to keep those brats under control but nooooo.

I had to investigate. How the hell am I supposed to know how those maids, teachers, teens, children all had a gigantic moodswing at the same time.

And no, simply checking the security cameras wasn't an option. Since the one in charge of the security of the estate disposed of the tapes because he also had a sudden moodswing. … Extreme hatred towards electronics. Yes. Yes that happened. I have no idea how and I shouldn't be the one figuring it out dammit.

We also tried simply asking the hysterical teachers and maids what happened, if they saw anything.

That didn't work either since they also didn't know the reason of their sudden turn of emotions but they did see someone. Every single one of them said that they were confronted by a boy who they didn't know. Strangely though they couldn't remember anything about the boy. Not his appearance nor what he'd done.

My guess? A stupid ability user with some vengeance towards the Oaslom. So that's probably getting no sleep the next days checking the Oaslom Archive.

A sudden turn in the way you feel about something, a switch in your state of mind…

The thing is, that also happened to me a long time ago.

All of a sudden an inexplicable hatred formed itself in my heart.

A nagging feeling of resentment towards a certain someone I once cherished.

Dazai Osamu.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading!

So here you go, I hope you enjoyed reading!

If you were wondering, this is how the Chocolate Cosmos looks like: 7aTMozdoLDmPlxucBznDJuOPtB8=/fit-in/700x350/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre02/fdbc/th/pre/f/2011/178/7/5/chocolate_cosmos_by_

The Alfie POV was actually very hard for me to write because I am nothing like this character and I can't relate at all but regardless I think it's interesting and fun to write such a complex character.

I also want to note that this is my first fanfic I ever wrote and that my mother language isn't actually English so please forgive me for grammar mistakes and lack of experience. So advice and suggestions are Always welcome and very much appreciated!

So please review and favorite! Tell me what you thought about the first proper meeting between Chuuya and Dazai! :)

Again thank you for reading, it means alot! ^-^

I would also like to thank my amazing and smart best friend for her help editing my horrendous mistakes, her brilliant ideas and wonderful support! ❤

I love her, she's truly an awesome person and thus I dedicate this chapter for her.

I hope you enjoyed this, you incredible dork. ^-^