Putting the Merry Back in Christmas
Mina had never been so humiliated in her life and that was saying a lot—especially when she remembered the support hose ad campaign. She'd sacrificed her dignity frequently on the altar of her art, but this wasn't even for her career. This was solely about money. Mina plucked at the cropped red velvet jacket and frowned at the bells sewn haphazardly on the curled toes of her shoes—her elf shoes.
"Ms. Aino, you'll be starting as the line elf today," Pearl ticked off a box on her clipboard.
Mina sighed, "Yes, ma'am."
Pearl Smith shoved her bulldog face up at Mina, "Do I detect a note of unhappiness and sarcasm? Christmas-land must have happiness, and cheer."
Mina forced a molar-revealing grin to her face.
"That's better, Aino." Pearl nodded her head and went on to examine Vivian next to her, better known as Dotty the Elf. "You're dots are crooked, Viv. Go fix them in make-up."
Mina rolled her eyes. She loathed the cheek dots. It was bad enough wearing the red velvet bloomers and feathered cap – the big smooshes of thick red face paint on her cheek bones pushed the whole thing past ridiculous. She was barely making minimum wage on this gig as it was. How did she get sucked in to letting Usagi find her work?
"Alright, make it real, elves, or you'll find my big black boots shoved so far up your scrawny little asses you'll be coughing up green tights until Valentine's Day."
Mina turned to go find her spot next to the animatronic teddy bear. She heard a voice calling out after her as she jingled her way out to the sales floor.
"Hey, Merry!" -oh god, the elf names.
"Oh, Jack." Mina pasted on another smile.
"Hey, elf-gear. Remember?"
"Right, Jiminy." Why do I always attract the freaks?
"What are you doing after this shift?"
Inebriation had been at the forefront of her thoughts, or curling up in her comfiest pajamas, watching 1 Liter of Tears while snacking on some of Mako's Christmas cookies. Neither plan had room for Jiminy the delusional elf.
"Oh, I'm …" Mina searched for an excuse. Her eyes caught on the appliances sign. "I'm helping my mom clean out her refrigerator." Stupid, stupid.
"Really?" Jiminy began incredulously, "Well, see some of the elves were thinking of heading out afterwards to this great ramen shop, and then…"
"No, her refrigerator is dire. And I promised her weeks ago. I just couldn't possibly put it off any longer." The words just rushed out and Mina flushed. And she wanted to be an actress.
"If that's the case, I mean, if you change your mind…" he looked glum and was already turning towards his post as the Throne Elf.
When he was safely away, Mina let out all her air in one long whoosh and leaned her forehead against the teddy bear's belly. Then decided against it when she realized how musty the old thing smelled.
"Nice performance there, Merry." Pearl gruffed by and checked off another incongruous box on board. "Really believable."
Mina wanted to counter, "What was that about sarcasm, Pearl?" But she wisely kept her mouth shut. The threat of her electricity bill's looming deadline usually helped her make wiser choices, if less theatrical ones. She pulled a deep cleansing breath in and turned to face the first tidal wave of harried adults and overly tired children. Stretching her smile, she greeted the onslaught, "If you'll follow the Lollypop Loop, Santa is waiting to hear your special Christmas wish!" Her cheeks were going to kill her later from all the forced smiling.
Several hundred children, one puker, a few random arguing parents, and multiple tantrums later, she was ready for her break. Viv was supposed to be have relieved her 15 minutes ago. Each moment past was beginning to feel like a hundred. Her arches were aching from the flat elf shoes. And, she could use some legal stimulant.
"Miss, how much longer until we get to see, Santa? We've been waiting here for 20 minutes already." An overly perfumed and overly coiffed woman was tugging at her daughter's dress – straightening a bow. The little girl looked just about as miserable as Mina felt.
Mina pasted on a smile, "We're moving the line as quickly as we can. Can I interest you in some candy canes that came all the way from the North Pole instead?" She really didn't want to tell the lady that it would be another hour and a half.
The woman snorted, "Sugar. You want to give her cheap sugar and then have me try to keep her calm?" She gave her a dismissive wave and began fiddling with her daughter's hair ribbons.
A blunt object that's what she really needed. Mina wanted to grab that woman and all the other parents and ask them who this was for anyway. Did any of these children really want to stand in line for two hours to sit on some stranger's lap to get a picture taken? This was all about the parents and their idea of the perfect Christmas. A little sugar was hardly payback for the children's lost time when they could be coloring, sledding, making cookies. Mina could only stand and stew and plaster a smile on her overly cheery elf face. All of these people are certifiable! Except maybe that one…
Mina spotted him as he entered under the ornament archway. He was certainly taller than most everyone around. The light spangled his pale hair -so blonde it was almost silver under the sparkling strands of lights. Suddenly the thought of Viv's lateness really didn't matter at all. It didn't matter even that he was one of the certifiable parents dragging their offspring to see Santa. Mina shook her head. Yes, it does. So he's good-looking, so what? He's probably married or divorced with lots of strings attached. Unfortunately, it didn't matter what she told herself. The closer he got the more perfect he became – like a photograph coming into focus.
"Wow, nice, huh?" Viv was finally here, of course. She threw Mina an eyebrow wiggle.
"Yeah," she sighed, already giving up. Who was she kidding? She was in green tights and had bright red circles on her cheeks and bells on her toes. Not exactly at her finest. "Hey. What was the hold-up?"
"Oh, Jiminy got puked on by some kid and had to change out of his clothes. You should have seen it. Projectile vomit. Took the cheer right out of his Christmas," Viv gave a sadistic chuckle.
Mina caught the eye of a parent looking at both of them in disapproval, "Well, I guess I better go before Pearl decides to remind me of my break with the edge of her clipboard."
Viv gave her a nod, the slipped right into Dotty mode, "Hey, folks, line up here by Mr. Snoodles if you want to meet Father Christmas!" She had pitched her voice higher and even added in a little giggle. Mina almost snorted.
She shook her head and began the trek back to the breakroom, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't be stopped by any customers on the way. Her heart dropped when she heard a little screech and cry behind her. She spun on her little elf heel and belted back towards the entrance. A little crowd was surrounding where she'd left Viv. The woman who had shellacked on her make-up and wore too much perfume was shrieking at Viv. "If she gets lost, I will get you fired and sue this whole place!"
"Ma'am, calm down. Can you tell me when you last saw her, what kind of shoes she was wearing, her name?" Mr. Gorgeous had stepped between Viv and the frantic mother and was addressing her in a deep voice that managed to be both commanding and calming.
"Um, Charlotte. Her name's Charlotte. She was here just a minute ago beside me. She has on black patent leather shoes. Yes, with buckles." She stammered.
He turned to Viv, "You need to let your supervisor know that you have a Code Adam."
He now studied Mina briefly before giving her a nod, "I need you to come help me find my way around." He leaned down in front of the little boy who had been holding his hand a moment ago. "Henry, I need you to stay and help out Miss," He glanced at Viv's nametag, "Dotty. Can you do that for me?" The little boy pushed out his chest and gave a determined nod.
Viv grabbed a walkie talkie from behind Mr. Snoodles and began whispering tensely into the receiver. Mina could already see Twinkles and Doodles running up to block the front entrance. She glanced up at Mr. Gorgeous.
"So, Merry," he glanced at her name tag, "anywhere in this mess you think a little girl might escape from an overbearing mother?"
Mina scanned the room thinking about all the various stations and decorations…She imagined the little girl frowning in her flouncy dress with all of its red velvet bows.
"The gingerbread house."
She began jogging in that direction, not waiting to see if he would follow. The little house was just big enough for three kids to crouch inside if they could squeeze through the little glazed sugar doorway. She bent down and peered through one of the small round windows. To her relief, she saw a little figure in a crimson dress, knees hugged to chest fiddling with the straps on her patent leather shoes. Satin hair ribbons had been scattered around the room.
"Charlotte?" The girl nodded her head shyly but made no move to come nearer to Mina. "Charlotte, you need to come out now. Your mother is worried about you."
"She's not my mother!" A pair of wet eyes stared back defiantly.
Mr. Gorgeous laid a gentle hand on Mina's shoulder and pulled her back, "Let me try." Mina rocked back on her heels and scooted out of the way. She glanced back to see not-Mother rushing over.
"Is Charlotte there? Is she okay?" The woman was twisting her carefully manicured hands together.
"Yes, ma'am. She's fine. Let's just give her a minute."
The woman let out a shuddering breath and then straightened her back, "If that child, has done this on purpose…"
Mina stepped in front of the woman, "Children often get scared of Santa. She's not the first kid to run away from him. Give her some time. She's just a child."
The woman frowned heavily but did shrug off to the side. Mina leaned down next to the house. She could hear the man, gently coaxing Charlotte to come out.
"Oh, really, well Santa brought me a horse one year too. I named him Patch. He was an ornery horse. How about yours? Is she ornery too?"
Mina could see the girl shaking her head no. "Maggie is the sweetest horse ever."
"Don't you think Maggie will miss you?" He gave her a soft smile.
Charlotte's eyebrows crinkled up as she thought about her horse. "Yes." She crawled towards him. The man lifted her out of the house and whispered something in her ear. The girl nodded her head once more and then walked bravely towards her not-Mother. The woman's face pinched up in displeasure, but then she shook her head. "Let's go meet your father for lunch. I'll let you tell him why you didn't get your picture with Santa."
Mina gave a little sigh as she watched Charlotte forlornly follow after the woman. "Charlotte! Here, Santa wanted you to have this." She jogged up to the little girl and handed her two candy canes from her belt pouch. Then Mina grinned toothily at the woman, "Merry Christmas."
She pivoted back towards the man and began the short walk back to Viv, "So," she glanced up at him. "What did you tell her?" She studied his face out of the corner of her eye. Chiseled perfection – even close up.
He gave her a half-smile, "That would ruin the mystery, wouldn't it?" Fantastically good-looking, sensible, she gave him a quick up-and-down and fashionable. There has to be a catch.
"Not every girl likes a mystery. Some of us like just the facts, you know."
He stopped walking and looked down at her, studying her intensely. Pale gray eyes searched hers. Then another small smile, "You're not one of them."
Mina's reply was cut short as the little boy, Henry, ran straight towards them and hugged the man's knees.
"I wasn't gone that long was I?" He chuckled and gave the boy a tight hug.
"I was worried, Uncle Kaine. Did you find the missing girl?"
A sense of relief rushed through Mina at the word, "uncle." She felt guilt tingeing her relief. Why would it matter if he did have a kid? Kaine ruffled his nephew's hair and set him down gently, "Don't I always? Now have you decided what to ask Santa Claus for?"
Mina turned to Viv. She could hear her cancelling the Code Adam over the walkie talkies before she even had to ask.
"Good job, Mina." She gave her a high five.
"Mina? Not Merry then." Kaine's voice rumbled behind her.
"No. No Twinkles or Dotty either."
"You're ruining the illusion for me, you know." She could hear the smile in his voice without even looking up at him.
"Oh, well then. Follow Lollypop Loop to Santa's palace and tell him your heart's desires!" She gave him her best elfish grin and voice.
"I can think of other people I would rather whisper my heart's desires too. What are you doing later?" Kaine's eyes were studying her intensely.
"Not cleaning out my mother's refrigerator. That's for sure." She dug out her standard- issued candy cane pen from her belt bag and impulsively grabbed his hand. She scribbled her number on his broad, warm palm. He caught her hand and leaned over to kiss her knuckles briefly.
Her breath tangled in her throat.
"Uncle Kaine, we're going to lose our place in line." Henry had his fists shoved on his hips.
"Duty calls." He gave her one last half-smile before he jogged up to his nephew before disappearing behind Gumdrop Junction.
"Nice job, Aino." Pearl strolled by and checking off another box on her clipboard. "If you show up to work on time tomorrow morning, I'll be disappointed."
Mina performed a little jingly victory dance not even caring about the bells on her toes. Maybe this Christmas she would be merry after all.
Fin
*originally part of Ficathon Secret Santa exchange. I don't even remember which year.* Inspired by David Sedaris's hilarious Santaland Diaries.