Steam Powered Giraffe is a band where the three main singers play robots. They have a whole back story about it and everything. I recommend you Google the name and finding their official site and YouTube page. You wont regret it.
I'm writing this because I'm sick and David, who plays The Spine, is sick. It got me thinking. Just how would a robot get sick?
It's true that robots don't feel pain. Not the way humans do anyway. But they do have a number of sensors for things like pressure and temperature. They have their own warning systems for when things broke down internally. And, like in humans, these warning systems can be loud and almost impossible to ignore.
Robots also can't catch colds or flues. The worst that coughing or sneezing on a robot would do was that they would get grossed out. However they can catch viruses. Computer viruses that is.
Just like the human members of the band could come back from cons having caught something from the many people gathered in one area, so too could the robots catch something from the many wireless devices and unsecured hotel Wi-Fis.
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The Spine was sick.
His joints hurt, his throat was sore, he had a headache and he felt like he was going to throw up.
It was hardly anything life threatening, any virus would have to make an all out coordinated attack to get even close to his core systems, but it was incredibly annoying. All he could do was wait for his anti-virus programs to track the malicious code down and eliminated it.
Viruses, by their very nature, replicated quickly and copy themselves into any systems they can. This one had gotten into his oil reserve controls early on. As a result his joints were getting stiff and oil was getting into places it shouldn't. Like his boiler. Oil and water really didn't mix. He had been forced to violently expel it twice now and it was already running hot in order to send more power to his processors to operate all the anti-virus programs. This was annoying and made it difficult to concentrate but he didn't want to stop any of them because it would mean being sick for longer.
"Hey, The Spine," Rabbit stuck a head around the doorway. "Whach ya doing sulking in here for?"
"*screech*Go away*clickPop*" His voice wasn't hoarse so much as it was full of static "You'll get s*zzzzz*ick too*fizzzz*"
"N-n-n-neither of us is stupid enough to use the Wi-Fi right now. I'll be f-f-fine. Now come on, we all going to watch some movies. We'll even let you pick a stupid cowboy one."
"*skkuksss*They're not stupid*pop*" He grabbed a tissue and vented excess oil though his nasal passage. "You liked the last *screeech*one. Don't deny it*clicktickclick*"
"So come down and pick one."
The Spine was tempted. Unfortunately his systems chose this moment to register the oil in his boiler and he dashed to a bucket he had set aside earlier.
Afterwards he grabbed a bottle of water and refilled his tank as fast as possible before he started feeling even worse. Looking back to Rabbit, who was making a disgusted face he moaned "*scrack*Leave me alone*kissickt*"
"Oh, come on. Y-y-you're only going to feel worse hiding in here." Smiling, the copper bot pulled out the big guns and sing-songed, "We have ice-cream!"
While he couldn't actually taste it, the feeling of cold ice-cream next to his hot boiler sounded pretty perfect right now.
(While they didn't actually eat, the robots still could if they wanted. Back when they had first got jaw attachments Rabbit had gone though a phase of trying to take a bite out of everything and The Jon had immediately followed suit, enjoying the texture of things when he chewed them. Colonel Walter had installed a compartment for things that they ate pretty quickly after that, if only to minimise the mess on their systems.)
"Fine*sckuzzzz*"
Some time later
"Ah-ah-ah-atchoo!"
The Spine looked over at Rabbit and raised an eyebrow. "Not stupid enough to use the *fitzz*Wi-Fi, huh?"
"It was just for a-a-a second! I was just checking- Shut up!"
"I'm not *pop*letting you blame me for this*zzzzzz*" The Spine said passing over some tissues.