This is inspired by the 2006 series and less so by the novel. As always, reviews are welcome.
Across the Sea
By Winam
These characters are over 150 years old so they aren't mine, however much I want them to be!
Revelation
= 1 =
I awoke in a wave of nausea, the world swaying to and fro. Sitting up, I saw that my candle had not completely burned out, and in its dim light I could distinguish the small cot that I laid in, the small wash-stand crammed beside it, the creaking, windowless hole that was my home for the voyage across the Irish Sea.
We had sailed from Liverpool in darkness, but perhaps it was now morning? Seized with a longing to see the sea, I dressed and made for the deck. In the faint light of dawn, I saw it – a turbulent, endless body of water – an insuperable barrier that struck dread into my already desolate heart – a barrier from my home at Thornfield – and from my beloved master.
Was it only three days ago that he announced his engagement to Miss Blanche Ingram, and that I was to leave him? To be sure, my leaving had been imminent ever since Miss Ingram's arrival at Thornfield, hence by the time we walked in the park on that warm summer's evening I was more than ready for the axe to fall. But the anticipation had not eased the pain of severance from all I held dear. And when it came, I was not at all composed.
"Ireland is a long a way away, sir, from Thornfield." I cried despairingly, "It is along way away from you, sir."
My plea seemed to strike a chord in him, for he prompted me to sit beside him. Our very closeness caused my tears to fall, knowing that the sea, on top of wealth, caste and custom, would soon separate us. My heart churned in agony. It did not help that Mr. Rochester was exceedingly kind, offering me his handkerchief when he saw my tears, and when I refused, saying so very gently, "We've been good friends, haven't we Jane?"
When I did not reply, he continued, "It's difficult to part from a friend you know you will never meet again. And you and I, it's like we're a pair of Eshton's twins, bound together in some unworldly way – sharing a spirit – we're so alike!"
His sincere declaration cut through me like a knife, for it rang true. I had felt a bond with him since our earliest conversations – when I glimpsed vulnerability beneath the sternness as he told me of the wrong path he had taken, how his once pure conscience had been sullied by sin. This bond had strengthened with each look imparted, with each conversation shared, with each act performed, so that I was as convinced as he that we did share the same spirit – indeed, we shared the same soul.
"When we are parted – when you leave me – I believe that bond will snap, and I will bleed inwardly. You will forget me after a while."
What did he…? How could he…?
Aghast, I stood and cried, "I would never forget you! How can you imagine that? Who do you think I am? I wish I had never been born, I wish I had never come here! I wish I had never grown to love Thornfield!"
The tears rushed from me now – I could not stop them. "I love Thornfield. I love it because I have lived a full life. I have not been trampled on. I have been treated as an equal – you have treated me as an equal."
I gazed at his dear face, a face so familiar to me, so entirely beloved.
"You are the best person I know. And I can't bear the thought of having to leave you."
Then he said a strange thing. "Must you leave me Jane?"
"Of course I must – because you have a wife!"
"What do you-?"
He froze, and then gave me a curious smile. "Jane… You are very astute – you have guessed it."
"Guessed what?" I cried indignantly.
"You guessed that I have a wife."
I stared at him. "How can that be? There is no Mrs. Rochester!"
He smiled sardonically. "You have seen her handiwork – how she tore Mason to shreds and nearly burned me in my bed. That demon was not Grace Poole, Jane – it was my wife!"
It cannot be! But I saw that it was – the truth was plainly written upon his face.
Then it became clear: his dark past, his wanderings, his desperate need for redemption, perhaps the very reason why he sought me.
It was all to be free from her!