Author's Note: I'll totally update D is For... soon. I've been having issues--my computer went haywire for a few weeks, I've been sick, I've been enthralled in a really good called the beautiful miscellaneous by Dominic Smith... You should totally read it... Anyway, excuses aside, here's a little DE drabble like fic set in the eighth season to tide you over.
It's not that she loves Eric still, she tells herself. It's just that Randy's really different. It's just that when Randy plays with the lightsaber, it looks ridiculous. When Eric played with it, it looked cute instead geeky. It's just when Randy smiles at her, it doesn't give her the same warm feelings she got from Eric's smile. It's just when he kisses her, she doesn't feel anything beyond the feeling one would get from a good kiss. It doesn't feel like there's any emotion in his kisses, and she feels sometimes like she's cheating on Eric. It's just she doesn't find Randy's jokes as funny as Eric's, even if they are to everyone else.
She keeps telling herself that Eric isn't worth waiting for, that he's just going to come back and start talking and he's going to screw up because that's just Eric, but she knows she'll get angry and forgive him because it's just one of those adorably infuriating things about him. She knows that if Eric comes back and tells her he loves her, she'll fall into him arms because he's the one that makes her feel loved and happy.
But she doesn't want to admit that to herself. She wants to love Randy, she wants to hate Eric, but she can't deny anything anymore. Eric has been her world for years and he'll be for years to come, and she just has to accept she's never truly going to be free from him although if she had any sense at all, she'd disappear and not give him the chance to see her. Just move on and let him mope and pick up the pieces—he left her, he broke up with her.
That's what she should do.
It's just...
She'll always love Eric.