Stars in the Mist
He had always been fascinated by the peculiar, yet alluring, lights that only appeared at night. When the bright shining circle that lit up everything in daylight had extinguished, and the stars started to peep out, then he'd watch the rapidly darkening sky fill with dancing splendour. At four years old, he already fancied he saw patterns in the arrangement of the stars. He kept trying to see the shape of a gorilla in the stars, and so far he was yet to succeed. When he thought he finally found an ape-like structure in the pattern of stars, then he'd spot something that was off about it, and the illusion would dissolve like mist in the morning.
There were other things in the night sky that caught his attention every time, as when a star would detach itself from the heavens and fall past its shining brothers and sisters to earth. If his mother was awake in their nest, he always grabbed her wrist with excitement, pointing at the tumbling star with his free hand. Sometimes he tried to see how long he could stay up just to watch the sky for more of these stars flung from the heavens. As always, Kala would indulge his wishes for a while before finally insisting he really had to go to sleep now, especially once he started dozing off in the middle of all this stargazing.
Out of all the gorillas in their troop, only Kala genuinely appeared to show more than a modicum of interest in what he saw in the stars. She always settled down beside him, patiently listening to everything he had to tell her about what he saw in the heavens. Tarzan never grew weary of her company, chasing away any disappointment he might have had at the other gorillas' unhidden disinterest in the beauty of the night sky or the shining circle when it was at its roundest and brightest.
But for so long as there was just one gorilla who genuinely shared in his love for those strangely alluring pinpoints of light, Tarzan didn't mind. After all, while one was lonely, two was always company, as long as it was with someone who genuinely cared about and loved him no matter what. Like his mother.
As he grew older, Tarzan began to notice the patterns and movements of the stars. He watched as stars would disappear for long stretches of nights at a time, and then reappear again over the eastern horizon. Even at nine or ten he could see that some stars did not twinkle at all, with one bright one always appearing either before sunrise or after sunset. Another bright, unblinking star would move very slowly over a number of moon phases, always catching his eye every time he saw it. Sometimes it appeared so bright, even brighter than the star after sunset or before sunrise, it could have held his attention all night if he didn't have to sleep. What star was it that made it shine so bright it was like a beacon against the deep stream of stars that lit up the night? And what star was it that shone steady and strong at dusk or at dawn?
Seeing all these things for himself, Tarzan tried to teach all that he learned to his mother, pointing out all the things in the stars that changed or stayed the same. She would listen, always, just as she had for all these nights when they'd enjoy the wonders of the night sky together. This one hill, free of trees and plants that would otherwise occlude their view of the sky, had always been a favourite star-gazing spot of Tarzan's ever since the first time he looked up to see the wonders of the celestial show. Tarzan had come to regard the hill as their special place where he and his mother could look at the stars together, or where he could sit on his own, trying to figure out everything he could about the changing—and yet constant—nature of the night.
These strangers like him seemed to know about everything, and that included the curious nature of the night sky. From the moment he first saw the slide with the strange, fascinating orbs—planets they were called—he had barraged Jane and her father with question after question about all the things he had seen in the night sky. Those small twinkling dots, he learned, were called stars, and that gleaming light that sometimes glowed bright at dawn or dusk, he learned, was called Venus. And there were others like this star—planets—and when he spoke to the professor of the other bright, untwinkling light, he was told it was Jupiter, so named for a mythological Roman king of gods. Tarzan was sure that no name could have fitted this bright, unblinking star—no, planet—better.
Tarzan was immediately intrigued by an apparatus the professor showed him, a thing that could see far into the night—a telescope, it was called. Even Jane effused upon its astounding quality of bringing the stars and planets and other hidden surprises of the night close to one's eyes and imagination. He truly had to give it a try, just so he could see the wonders of the night sky up so close that he could never forget it in his lifetime. He listened to the way Jane went on about Saturn and its rings, and how he had to see it through a telescope, for there was no grander sight than the jewel of the solar system.
Little wonder, then, that he wanted the Porters to bring out the telescope to the top of his favourite star-gazing hill as soon as possible. Their infectious enthusiasm for what he would see through the telescope dug deep into his own imagination and unending curiosity, and he could hardly wait for the next night that he would finally see the planets, stars, and something called a comet through this fine specimen of a telescope, brought all the way from the land the Porters called England. But it wasn't just the prospect of seeing the alluring face of night so intimately close that tugged at his imagination: it was the very attractive idea he would finally share this experience with creatures who looked just like him.
On the night he was to look deep into the eyes of the stars, Tarzan was more than ready, watching with intense fascination as the professor set up his telescope, handling every part of it like it was his own first born child. His eyes kept drifting up to the sky, to the planets that Jane pointed out—and there he saw a familiar ruddy dot of light—Mars, he learned, so named for another character from the humans' "mythologies" from many, many centuries ago. He'd seen it so many times before, but tonight, with Jane, he may as well have been seeing it for the first time in his life.
"Is it far away?" he half-whispered to Jane.
Jane giggled in good nature, "Very far away, Tarzan."
"Could a human get there?"
"Maybe in his imagination, he could."
"Imagination," Tarzan echoed, deliberating slowly over the word, "Imagination."
"Thinking. New things. You know? Like dreams? Or…or creativity! That's it! Creativity!"
"Creativity," he considered the word, smiling as its pleasant syllables sounded in his throat, "New things, like telescopes?"
"Humans are very, very good at inventing things," Jane conceded, "Including this telescope, which once daddy has set up, you will be able to look through and see the stars, planets, and everything close up! He says there's a comet tonight. And you might see Mars and Saturn too! Maybe even Jupiter with its four moons!"
"Jupiter?" Tarzan looked up, scanning the stars, looking over when Jane tapped his shoulder and pointed in the correct direction. There, beyond Jane's fingertip, in the sky was an unblinking dot of bright light. "That's Jupiter?"
"Daddy always says planets never twinkle, unlike stars," Jane explained.
"So that's why…" Tarzan marvelled, still gazing at Jupiter.
"You've noticed that?"
"I've seen stars change over time."
"Ooh!" Jane was getting even more excited now, "And the constellations!"
"Constellations?"
"They're like patterns in the sky! Like that one over there!"
Tarzan tilted his head in curiosity as Jane tried to show him a couple of constellations, although without much concept of a dipper or a bear, he had a harder time trying to imagine either of those things in the arrangement of the cosmos.
"Well, anyway," Jane chirped on, tugging Tarzan toward the telescope, "Looks like daddy has everything all set up? Daddy?"
"Yes, my dear," he confirmed with a broad smile, "And I have it aimed right at a comet that is up right now."
Jane gasped, "A comet?"
"Have a look for yourself, my dear. You first or Tarzan?"
"I really think Tarzan should go first—I've seen a comet before, but he's never seen one—at least not up close, and you really must!"
Jane tugged on Tarzan's arm until he found himself standing behind the telescope, the eyepiece inviting him to peek into the heart of the comet.
"Go on," Archimedes encouraged, "You won't regret it!"
Trusting that he would not be disappointed, Tarzan crouched down, tilting the eyepiece of the telescope lower with a finger so he could peek through it to the stars and beyond. Closing one eye, he lowered his face to see through the eyepiece at the comet, and his breath left his lungs in an exhalation of wonder.
It's so…beautiful.
The comet in the view sat perfectly in the circle of sight. Its fuzzy tail curved out behind its distinct, spherical head, a spectacle even more impressive up so close and personal Tarzan believed he could have just reached out and touched it with his own hands, even though he knew it was very far away.
Lifting his face from the eyepiece, he gazed up again at the sky, eyes full of amazement as he stared at the patch where the comet sat comfortable among its numerous companion stars, countless twinkling brothers and sisters and cousins that, together, made the Milky Way glow with brilliance every night it was there.
I want to watch all night.
"It's beautiful, Jane," he said, every syllable filled with just as much wonder as the last.
"Want to see more?"
"Every one of them."
Jane laughed, Tarzan's heart skipping a few beats at the sound. "We'll try our best, Tarzan."
And then, for the first time in forever, he saw the beauty of Saturn's rings, the orderly fashion of Jupiter's four large Galilean moons, and even the dusty, distant nebulas that spoke of newborn stars emerging from the stellar dust that cradled the fledglings of the heavens. Everything he had ever wanted to know, wanted to ask, about the heavens and its dynamic movements and choreographies, all he had to do was speak, and these strangers like him had all the answers. Well—almost all the answers. It seemed not even they knew everything there was to know about the stars.
Nevertheless, Tarzan did not mind that they did not know the answers to some of his celestial questions. Just being with the Porters and their telescope that brought the stars and planets into the embrace of their imaginations was enough. And now the yearning he'd had to share the stars with someone like him was satisfied, leaving him content and in awe of the wonders the night sky held within its heart.
He'd said his final farewell to his mother, quietly walking away through the jungle, going a longer way around so he would avoid the rest of the troop. He knew this jungle so well that he didn't really need the light of the sun at all to help him navigate its twists, turns, and hidden tree roots waiting to twist unwary ankles. He didn't stop moving through the jungle all night, only the shore at which he would meet Jane, the one destination ever present in his mind.
Except, he did stop, only once, on passing another familiar clearing of trees, exposing a sky whose stars yawned over the jungle's breadth and width. He halted in the middle of this clearing, trying not to linger long, decades old memories holding him still. Gazing up, he saw stars in the mist, and within that haziness, the childhood wonder of the heavens that he had shared with Kala. It reminded him with a mental jolt that he'd imparted none of anything he'd discovered about the stars since meeting the Porters to anyone else, not even his own mother.
Would she have understood?
Perhaps not, he told himself, still watching stars struggle to shine through the veil of moisture, but she had always listened then, even if perhaps she might not have understood it all. But did that matter, as long as he'd had someone to keep him company as he studied the stars as he had done in his childhood?
Now he wished that he'd had told her all about what he'd seen in the night sky thanks to the Porters and their curious little telescope. But he'd still harboured a little anger toward her for not admitting she had known there were others like him, and he'd barely talked to her until tonight really—a bittersweet parting.
But he couldn't go back again now—if he turned back, he knew in his heart that he would likely end up staying for good, despite his desires to see the human world in England, where he belonged with Jane and all whom she spoke of and knew. If he turned back, he would find himself homesick for the jungle, and then he would never leave his old childhood home.
He allowed himself to stay still a moment longer, just gazing up at the stars glowing with unending beauty, comforting all those who laid eyes upon their elegance. Maybe they would be there for his mother too, reminding her that though he might be so far away, he was always with her in spirit.
Maybe right now, she was looking at the stars in the mist too, recalling the days when he had been a boy, gazing at the elegance of the heavens until slumber overcame heavy eyelids, sleep quick on drowsiness's heels.
The stars in the mist winked above the canopies as Tarzan lowered his eyes from their presence, pressing on to the boat that would take him to that curious land Jane called "England", assured that no matter where he went, the heavens would be with him—and with his gorilla family—always.
Always.