germany (fan fiction/role play profile)

Nation/name- Germany or (Bundesrepublik Deutschland)

Gender- male

Race- country

Birth day- unknown

Sexual orientation- clueless on everything except for training, beer and COOKOO CLOCKS

Appearance- so many mucles….so many. Blonde with blue eyes, and a manly man!

Abilities- scaring Italy, power of manliness, getting the whole world to shut up, being an awkward potato

Weakness- anyone who is crying, Italy, looking at art

Strength- engineering, training, fighting, making cookoo clocks, getting countries to shut up, high alcohol tolerance, good with dogs (all three dogs are as manly as he is), cleaning, serious, discipline, the power of Kantianism

Hobbies- reading, drinking, training, walking his dogs, did I mention drinking (his alcohol tolerance is greater than suika ibuki's! and that's saying something!) *ha-ha touhou reference!*

Likes- Italy, being clean, dogs, did I mention drinking, sweets, baking, lemons, Prussia

Dislikes- Prussia's attitude, being wrong, being out of his comfort zone, Austria, not knowing answers

Bio- Germany has always been a military man virtually all of his life. Until one day he met Italy. That's when his life began drastically changing. He found that he was losing his patience way too often and finding himself awe struck every time he was around Italy. He found Italy to be annoying, too clingy, and too much of a baby but at the same time he felt protective, and fascinated by Italy because he is predictable and un-predictable at the same time. How can one person be both at the same time! He now finds himself in an emotional tug-a-war between friendship and love. Just what are their differences! He is confused and does not know any more and Prussia seems to be pushing buttons more than usual.

Authors note- this is Germany's view of the relationship in the absurdities of pasta. Close to the exact same events happen through another's eyes. Enjoy Germany's perspective.

Germany's pov

What happened the day before Germany visited Italy in 3 days

I had the most painful splitting head ache I think I have ever had… and it was all because of Italy. Gott, how one person could screw up that bad was beyond me. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the after math of it all… I felt bad that I had yelled uncontrollably at him but I couldn't take it anymore, I was at the end of my rope and I went off on him… Japan left me with the chaos because he is spending time with his brother China. They have desperately been trying to become closer brothers; these past few months have been rough for them, with Russia hanging around; so it is up to me to clean everything up. I am not going to bother him with this because family is very important; he should have good relations with his brother.

'Time to start I suppose…'

First on the clean-up list was the obstacle course. If I didn't get this mess picked up quick none of us would be able to train tomorrow afternoon. There was one large crater in the middle of the field, countless patches of burnt sod and smaller holes all around. There was wood and rope that had blown up all over the place as well as pieces of metal.

'Italy you are a disaster waiting to happen. I'm surprised that I am still sane and standing… at least I think I'm sane.' I sighed.

The only thing I was grateful for was that I was prepared for certain events such as this. I had countless bags of gravel, soil and sod in the equipment shed. I even had the right tools to repair the obstacles themselves. So without wasting time I began to fill in every last hole in with gravel and soil. While I was at it I filled in the hole at the other side of the field. The one that England dug…

Even if he was sneaking around; he really is not worth the trouble of dealing with. Italy was more than a handful to begin with. Besides, it's not like we were at war anymore. World War II was over a long time ago. We had nothing to hide. I feel that just because there is no war or battle going on, does not give a person leverage to skip out on training. It is important to stay fit and ready for anything. This is still something that I could NOT get Italy to understand!

By the time I finished working with the training field it was already dark. The only things I could not complete was re-sodding the field and fixing the vehicles. The vehicles would have to wait till tomorrow and the sod would have to wait for a long while before I could deal with it. At least the obstacle course was good as new, and would be of use tomorrow.

I know Italy means well, but he is just hopeless. He's like a child and I feel more like his babysitter. He is a little too feminine for a man and delicate too boot. I sometimes wonder how he made it this far… but despite all of this, I find myself enjoying his company… it is very strange, we have little to nothing in common but we are still close. I don't understand, I yell at him constantly yet he still clings to me! I DON'T GET IT! It's driving me crazy. How and why are we still friends?

Now that I think about it he really is my only CLOSE friend. No offense to Japan, but he is not exactly one to speak much and he is extremely reclusive. I feel awkward alone with him, the silence is nice but after a while it is mind rattling. This is so weird! What is wrong with me!

'I need a beer… but first I need a shower…' I shuffled my way to my house.

No sooner did I open the door I was ambushed with noise.

"HEY BRUDDER! WHAT THE HELL'S FOR DINNER?" Prussia laughed obnoxiously.

"beer." I said flatly.

"That is AWESOME! That means bar food too!"

"Just let me shower."

"Fine…just hurry up ok!"

"You better be ready by the time I am ready to leave. If you're not, I am leaving without you. I am not in the mood for your antics tonight."

"How unawesome, I am always ready and rearing to go when beer is mentioned! Why would you doubt me like that you being lame right now?" he laughed obnoxiously.

"Whatever, just be ready! Because I mean it when I'm ready I'm gone ok." I rolled my eyes.

"ja-ja-ja, I hear you. Get your shower over with.

I only sighed. Sometimes I wondered how the two of us were even related. He is so obnoxious; you would think that he would not act this way at his age. He reminds me of the way America behaves (except he doesn't have a toilet mouth like Prussia)! I only shook my head. At least America had an excuse for acting that way; I mean look at how young he is. He might grow out of it… Prussia is just perpetually going to be an 18 year old delinquent stuck in an older man's body for life!

What happened the night before Germany visited Italy in 3 days

Part one- losing

"PRUSSIA! GET OVER HERE!"

"gott, could you yell any damned louder! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"Brudder, do you remember me telling you that I am NOT in the mood for your antics!"

"WHAT ANTICS, I haven't done anything to you! You asshole!"

"Don't even act like you didn't do it! You do this sort of thing all the time!"

"ok, I'll admit that I do screw with you. But this time it's not me!"

"I'll believe it when I see it when I see it." I fumed.

"I don't even know what the fuck I did!"

"You know what you did! Just look" I gestured to the floor.

"West, what the hell am I supposed to be looking at? There's nothing there!"

"Exactly, there IS NOTHING there."

"Yeah and, what do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to give me back my damn shoes!"

"What are you serious? Is that you're bitching about? That is not awesome!"

"Yes now give them to me or at least tell me where you hid them!"

"I don't have your Gott verdammt shoes!"

"Yes, you do! Now give them to me please!"

"I can't!"

"why!"

"CauseItoldyouIdon'thavethem!"

"What does that even mean?"

"It means I don-" he paused and stared forwards.

"What are you-" a shoe was tossed to my feet.

"Brudder, I think I know where your shoes went." he looked at me.

There in the middle of the floor was one of my three dogs. It was the Doberman; yes it was Berlitz, with a wagging tail. I smiled.

"Hey, can I have that back please?" I bent down holding out a hand.

Without, missing a beat that dog gave a shoe filled grin.

"Yeah that's right, give it to me" I coaxed. The next move was a mistake…

I took a single step forward.

As soon as I did that,Berlitz ran for the stairs.

Part two- getting it

Berlitz went wild, rampaging through the upstairs office knocking over war trophy's left and right. Important documents seemed to fly everywhere. Some even ripped. Then somehow I'm not even sure how, a paper weight knocked into the side of my head causing the already apparent pain to throb harder in my skull. With a loud wail I hit the ground with a thud.

"Gott verdammt! Get back here with that shoe!" I scrambled to my feet running quickly out the door.

My adventure then took me to living room where the nicely made couch was soon torn apart. The remotes and their batteries were stung like confetti across the floor. The in table was soon knocked over and tangled within the long lamp cord.

Then I found myself in the kitchen. Flower, potatoes, along with ground black pepper filled the air and the floor. Thankfully I had finally cornered Berlitz. With that I took the shoe away.

"NINE! Bad dog!" I smack Berlitz's snout. In no time that dog was sent to the outdoor kennel.

"Brudder, let's just go now… I don't think I can handle any more of this…"

"I think someone owes me an awesome apology." He sent me a snide grin.

"Fine, I am sorry that I accused you of stealing my shoes. Are you happy now?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact I am very happy. Now let's to the bar so we can get drunk off our asses!" he only laughed.

I only sighed shaking my head while trailing slowly behind him. "And another thing…why didn't you help me!"

"It's because, you're fun to watch. It would have been a shame to get in the way. You gave me something awesome to laugh at." He laughed obnoxiously once more.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING THAT'S YOU'RE REASON!" I ran forward.

Part three- BEER!

Immediately after getting to the bar I regretted it. The atmosphere was aggravatingly loud not to mention it seemed like everyone with in the town was squeezed in all at once. Though there was still seating. Unfortunately, in this country it didn't matter what bar you went to it would always be loud and filled to the brim.

I knew right when I sat down that this was not the best idea I had. Regardless of what was going through my head I decided to drink till my heart's content. Though I found it to be difficult to drink at my own pace; My brudder, just kept them comeing. He also sucked them down within seconds challenging me to a contest.

"Come on! The last time you showed me up! This is time I'll redeem myself!"

"Prussia, we go through this every time we go to a bar. EVERY time. Can we please just drink at a normal pace?" I rubbed my head.

"No. now drink!" he laughed dumping alcohol down my throat.

"Fine! If it's a challenge you want, it's a challenge you'll get" I downed one just as quick.

Part four- bar talkin

The race was on. At the start we glared each other down, with every glass that emptied. Gradually that glare somehow disappeared…and I felt very fish like. I began to smile, I didn't even know how Prussia faired but I couldn't help laughing.

"So, can you remind me again why you are on fire?" I slurred.

"Good gott, I already told you. I'm on fire because I'm a bridge." He hiccupped.

"You're a bridge? That sounds like its hard…how do you do that?"

"Well, you see I'm a bridge for fire. Ladies, just like to walk all over me. I'm the fire bridge to awesome! Ladies come and walk on me!" he laughed.

"Oh, I get it. Then what does that make me?" I slurred.

"You're the Italians'." He hiccupped.

"That doesn't make sense you and I are German."

"No, stupid! It's like this, you're like his buddy right?"

"Yeah, so."

"So, you guys are like mint for each other and stuff."

"What? I don't get it?"

"Gott! Do I have to spell it for you? He's like your friend. He's got the pasta, he's small and his ass is like a little round pumpkin. He's like the pretty n' stuff. You get it?"

"Yeah I guess he is the pretty. He has the round face and curves." I waved my hands as if to demonstrate.

"Yeah, see! You got it! It's cause he's like a girl!"

"He is! I like the fact he's like a girl" I laughed.

"Now you're awesome! You get it!" he smacked my back.

Then the two of us began to laugh uncontrollably.

What happened 2 days before Germany visited Italy

(Germany's inner thoughts)

The past two days consisted of me fixing the jeeps and training. Oddly enough Italy never showed for either of them. That was usual for him. No matter how bad a situation got or how bad he screwed up, Italy surprisingly hasn't missed as much training as he could be. Though, he's such a natural born slacker that he's probably just sleeping or making pasta. Thinking about him skipping for no reason makes me so irritated.

Then there's all that stuff I said about Italy the other night. In fact, my conversation with brudder just irks me. I know that over half our conversation was gibberish but there were certain things that I said that make me question myself. For one, everything I had said about him was true. Second, my mind took these drunken thoughts a few steps further.

I know I have been friends with him since I can remember. But with how close we are another might suspect a few things. Thinking about it now it's a little odd having your best friend. Who is another man; sleeping in the same bed together… the way he used to sleep with me, reminded me of some deranged slumber party for men… (He could be such a child sometimes) obviously nothing sexual happened but still, is that what normal adult men friends really DO with one another? Is that normal? Of course not! It's not normal at all; that's the behavior that is expected from a married couple, not friends! What's even worse is that he used cuddle while sleeping with me!

While on the topic of married couples; the two of us seem to aggravate each other. He will do the most ridiculous things, get himself in trouble and I'll nag him about it. I seem to fuss over him quite a lot actually… or, he and I will have miniature arguments; over some of the dumbest things and surprisingly over philosophy. It's as if we argue like an old married couple. My brudder pokes fun at me for it constantly.

I also find it interesting that he acts very childlike but at the same time he can have something intelligent to say. What also confuses the hell out of me is that man can say something extremely wise or helpful but then he'll turn around and do something completely stupid! It makes no sense! He also can hold his position well when discussing something relating to ethics and philosophy. Which tells me he is not empty headed. How can one person be so dense yet intelligent at the same time!

Back to the whole pretty issue, as much as I really do not want to admit it; I have to say he is gorgeous. I know I should be thinking that but it's true. Italy is more attractive than any other woman I have seen. In fact, from the first day I met him I found him to be quite attractive. I'm afraid to even touch the details about this… quite frankly it's a little startling for me. I don't have a problem with homosexuality in the least… I guess I just don't understand how to handle myself… I very well could be homosexual…

I also realize that i find myself watching him. Hopefully that's not creep. Yeah I think he's attractive but that not all of why I watch him. I feel like that if I (a man) find him this alluring another will too. But, with how petite and fragile he looks; there is no doubt in my mind someone might take advantage of him. This thought really bothers me. The fact Italy is naïve is no help at all.

'What is wrong with me?'

'He's driving me insane without even being here.'

What happened the day Germany visited Italy

Yet another day of training had passed without a trace of Italy anywhere. I could handle him missing out two days but three! That was pushing it! He had some nerve to do something like that. It's for his own good. With how much pasta he eats I'm surprised he's not blown up like a balloon. His laziness needs to end! Even if he is not over weight he has little to no upper body strength. He needs to build at least a little so he can defend himself!

I had had enough of him being lazy! Pure laziness was always something I had little to no tolerance for. I couldn't stand it. That was probably my biggest pet peeve. So without a second thought I stormed all the way to Italy's house.

Once there I could not help but boil over with anger when I banged on the door. The second that door opened I couldn't contain my frustrations much longer I spilled my opinion to him on his door step. "Where the hell were you for the past three days? Do you know how much training you've missed? You can't just go skipping out just because you want to make pasta or take a nap! Are you even listening to me Italy!" I pried the door open wide only to be thrown for a loop, knocked speechless, and horrified.

There before my eyes was Italy. He was not what shocked me was his current condition. He wore a wrinkled, twisted up dark green dress, panty hoes and flowers in his matted hair. He also had a large bruise on the side of his face.

"h-hi Germany I'm sorry for skipping. I really will try to not do it again…"

"Italy n-no…it's ok, just… what happened to you? Why are you-" I couldn't even compose sentences correctly I was so upset.

"I'll be fine really. Nothing's wrong. I'll be just fine." Tears fell from his red puffy eyes.

"I-Italy what's? …why are you crying" I panicked.

"Germany do you hate me?" he buried his face in my chest, and clung to me.

"What do you mean?" I was flabbergasted by the question.

"Mr. Germany please, answer me. D-do you hate me?" he cried harder looking up still clinging tightly to my front.

"no, why on earth would you think that?" I panicked inside, outwardly sounding worried.

"Well I'm constantly get in the way. I mess things up. I am no good with doing physical exorcise and I make you mad a whole lot."

"Italy… its fine ok. I just don't-'' I sighed.

"Mr. Germany, I love you." He cut me off

"w-what?" I wanted to faint at those words… not more than two days ago I was thinking he was attractive, now he says this to me! I am so not ready for this. Well, maybe he means like family or like friends? Great now I'm confused again.

Then all of a sudden I felt the softest pair of lips I had ever felt lightly collide with mine. Sending my whole body stiffer than stone.

"Italy I know we're friends right,"

"No Germany I really love you." He leaned up even closer kissing me deeper, I swear he even might have even nipped my lips at some point. I couldn't tell though. It made me extremely uncomfortable, thought at same time it felt right. I was so confused.

"I understand you probably don't go that way do you... I'm sorry forget what I said. I won't bother you anymore ok…" he turned to go back inside.

Without even thinking I sprung forwards to pull him back close to me.

"I'm not sure what to do Italy." I looked closely at his eyes.

"It's ok Germany… since you're here why don't you come in." he held my hand leading me into his house.

What I saw in side was astonishing. This room had more art than a museum. Not to mention the elegant furniture and the rich colors. Italy certainly had good taste. I have never seen a room like it, I can only imagine what the rest of his house look like.

"is there something wrong?" his voice peepep.

"um…no, not at all I was just admiring your house." I was sounded surprised.

"Th-thank you…. I was in the middle of making lunch… would you like to eat with me." he asked.

"yeah. I g-guess so." I nodded.

"ok, you can sit down here if you want to." he lead me to the kitchen table. His kitchen would be any woman's dream. It too was huge, elegant; it really seemed to contain anything.

"Thank you Italy,"

He immediately began to work. He swiftly knew exactly what needed to be done. Every action was absolutely flawless; I honestly can't believe that I haven't noticed it sooner. He cooks for me all the time. He had long, slender, nimble fingers. His hands themselves were small, almost doll like with how perfect they were. His hips were much more rounded than had ever imagined. With every movement he took they would sway slightly from one side to the other. The view was truly tantalizing.

"I hope you like lemon…I didn't ask what kinds of fruit you like… I'm sorry, if lemon is no good I can make something else… oh, I forgot to ask if you even like Italian ice…." He frowned.

"Italy it is fine. I like lemon a lot. Thank you." I smiled.

"R-really."

"Yes, but what about you?" I asked.

"I made just enough for the two of us. I'll make mine when I'm done making the pasta and the pasta oils…you don't mind the wait do you…" he handed me his creation.

"That is fine" I nodded

"Ok," he returned the gesture.

He began once more while I sat and watched, taking in everything. I then looked down at the frozen beverage in my hand. I had never had Italian ice before but it was lemon, what was also a plus was the fact he made it. Just about everything the Italian made tasted delicious. It only took one sip to prove that to be correct.

Within an hour and a half I noticed a plate of pasta being placed in front of me.