EDIT/UPDATE: Hopefully this doesn't offend any else. Someone reviewed and said self-insert fanfictions on this site were inappropriate but I went back and looked at the rules along with A LOT of other fanfictions people have posted and apparently it is ok to post self-insert fanfics on here no matter the rating so... If you don't like it then don't read it, it's simple. I put warnings on it and after taking it off the site I was told to put it back up since it doesn't break the rules. I've seen stories with very detailed rape scenes in them along with graphic descriptions of blood and gore, this doesn't have that. Just a little blood and nudity. Get over it.

Okay, this is the worst thing I have probably ever written. Self-insert fic with a friend based off of a dream I had and I just HAD to write it out. It's very out of character, just warning you. Some grammar mistakes are in here, I'm sure. Point them out if you spot them!

M for sexual situations and language. It does involve True Blood, after all.

Don't like, don't read. It's short but sweet.

Love you all! -smooches everyone, even the haters-

"I don't know what I have done to piss you off! Whatever it was, I'm sorry! I don't even fucking know you!" The human woman screamed as she was dragged down a hallway of an elegant building.
The vampire known as Salome rolled her eyes at hearing her speak again, "We've hardly seen any humans for a while. You're staying with us."
Humans were rare after the battle between the angels and demons. Bill and Nora had found a few and they were being kept somewhere safe for later.
"Look, if this is about the other week then I'm sorry!" She woman was shoved onto a bed, "Please! Just let me go! I need to make sure my best friend is still alive! I was on my way to see her before all of these interruptions came up!"
"We need to eat. Call Nora, Bill."
This could not be happening! This woman had managed to stay hidden as she made her way to her best friend, Jessica's house to make sure she was still alive in all of this fucked up chaos.
Pamela wasn't sure when she was knocked out but when she opened her golden eyes she first noticed her hands cuffed to a bed. With a sudden realization that she was cold, she noticed second that she was only in her blue bra and panties. "Son of a bitch…"
Salome walked up to the foot of the bed wearing only her golden bangles on her wrists and a belly dancer's silk belt around her waist. The vampire was very beautiful. Because of that she could entrance any one male, female or vampire and could have anything she wanted if she was to ask. Porcelain skin seemed to glow on her body and her long, curly black hair bounced and moved very elegantly with her every step.
That was when Pamela questioned silently, 'Why is she dancing, anyway?' But the thought was thrown away when the beautiful woman climbed onto the bed and crawled to her like a cat stalking its prey. Everything was even more awkward when she straddled her waist and raised her hands in the air.
"Praise Lilith!"
"Praise…" Vampire Bill was just suddenly beside the bed, shirtless with his fangs out. His black hair was shining in the dim lights of the room, voice having a more southern tone to it than the other woman.
A soft and gentle voice echoed throughout the room and another vampire walked in. Shoulder length black hair straight and glittering, she face had a cute but pouty look to it. "I was praying to Lilith-" She stopped when she saw Pamela and raised a trembling hand, "S-Salome…"
"What is it, Nora?"
"She's been marked by Death!"
Salome jerked her head back to the brown haired woman in the blue undergarments cuffed to her bed. "I can't sense Death on her-!"
She was cut off when the wall next to her was trampled. Her dark eyes looked up and saw a figure in the dust of the rubble standing over the human. The vampire's eyes widened when her vision was clear of the dust and a gasp escaped her lips.
"Hello, Salome."
"You-!"
It was Death, the horseman. Rider of the pale horse.
"Now, Salome." He said in that dark done with his orange eyes glowing, "You had done enough when you asked for John the Baptist's head on a platter."
Nora was crying, her tears of blood streaming down her cheeks when he pulled out his twin scythes as Dust landed on his shoulder. The crow glowed green for just a moment before stretching its wings.
"This human belongs to me." Death said, slicing a scythe through the cuffs on Pamela's wrists. He turned those fiery orange eyes down and looked at her, "Jessica is safe. She is just outside, so you need not worry anymore."
Beside him, Bill shoved the bits of rubble off of him. Once standing, he growled at Death with his fangs out, "What use do you have for a human?!"
"A horseman's able to have fun, too is he not?" Following Death's words was a wicked chuckle, "Besides, Dust has taken a liking to the other one. Jessica, she'd be perfect for my brother Strife."
Jessie ran in at that moment, her blonde hair bouncing behind her.
"You're friends with a shifter?!"
"You're surprised at this, Bill Compton?" He grabbed a coat that bill had been wearing before and handed it to Pamela. Her eyes looked over the jacket then back up at the horseman. She was barefoot and still had no pants on; her blue panties were visible to everyone.
But Death didn't care.
"Don't give me that look. I like to show off what I have." He turned to Salome, "And you."
"Me?"
"You are the most idiotic being I have ever seen. I may not have any faith at all but this is ridiculous. You think God is a vampire? You are terribly mistaken." His hand grabbed Pamela's arm and he led her out of the Vampire Authority's area.

Note: FUCK YES! I love Death.