A/N: This is a what-if scene that could have occurred a few days after the Jack & Jill party in chapter . If you remember the canonical event in Smoky Passion where Smoke receives a raunchy video from Sasha, then you can just pretend this is what happened.

My best friend, Cold Recluse, and I discussed changes to this series last night on Skype, so some of the things you'll see here are going to be a lot different. CR's decided to do a separate one-shot drabble series that only includes the unseen footage in our crack-fic. I'm not sure if she's started it yet, but she'll get around to it.

Also, I'm gonna go on and say that I don't need any trolls or canon-thumping reviews. I'm typically passive, but I'm honestly tired of the idiots in this archive. So if you have a problem with how Bi-Han is portrayed, take it up with ME. Don't bitch to Cold Recluse about it, because the idea for Sub-Zero to be that way was mine and mine alone. My friend simply contributed her own ideas to help evolve him into what you see in our co-op fic.

Anyways, feel free to read and review at your own discretion! :D

(Smoke's POV)

I had just woken up from a wonderful sleep of dreaming about making sweet, passionate love to my beautiful wife-to-be on our wedding night. I stretched my arms over my head and cracked a few bones in my beck before I felt a slight, unusual dampness beneath me.

Embarrassed, I pulled my pants off my legs. It was clear to me that I'd had a nocturnal emission, or wet dream. Whatever the hell you wanna call it, I guess.

Oh fuck... I thought as I saw the wet stains on my bedspread. My eyes widened in surprise as my hand drifted over the damp area.

Damn... I can't believe I had a wet dream. I hope no one came in here while I was sleeping...

I knew that Tundra sometimes would come into my room to leave random post-it notes while I slept. It was really an inside joke between us that was based on a situation several years ago. Bi-Han and Hanzo were just reconciling after their many years of rivalry, and Kuai Liang was bored of seeing them do such a sappy "Oh my God, man. It's all good. Just don't fuck shit up again and you're fine" scene. So he started sticking Post-It notes all around his older brother's beloved penis pump. Sure enough, Bi-Han's faggot ass took notice, and the two siblings got into a fight. It was pretty funny, since Hanzo and I had to pull these two apart.

Ah, the memories...

Returning to reality, I checked my nightstand to make sure there were no sticky notes on it. Once I saw that the only things atop the wooden surface were my iPhone, earphones, and wallet, I sighed in relief. Why?

Because it meant that I could just have a wank before having my sheets washed. I wouldn't wanna jerk off on new sheets when I could just dirty up the same ones again.

Ugh. Never mind, yo. Like it would make a difference.

Preparing myself to view the amazing video of my sexy bride-to-be sensually caressing her virgin caramel-colored cunt, I briskly snatched my phone from its location, getting ready to rub one out when I heard vaguely familiar singing coming from my bathroom.

I swear to God it better not be Sub-Zero's fagboy ass in my bathroom... I'll beat his ass.

Part of me knew it could only be Bi-Han singing in my bathroom, since he'd snuck in here several times before just to piss me off. I never understood WHY he felt the need to do whatever in my bathroom.

Especially when his bitch ass had his own.

Getting up from from my bed, I tip-toed to my restroom door as I listened carefully to identify the voice of the person in my bathroom. I mean, it could all be in my mind, right?

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... am washing my feet and painting my toe nails in the shower that has been graced with my ethereal sexiness!"

Goddamn it! Bi-Han was indeed... In my damn bathroom. Figures.

"I will ALWAYS be hot, fly, and gorgeous! Yeeeeesssss!"

It can't be. Not him! Of all people that are in my shower...the he-bitch, Bi-Han, my mind screamed.

I was fucking flabberghasted. Why the fuck was he in my shower when he has his own!?

"Being a slut is good! Especially with hotness of my own!" the crazy Cryomancer continued to sing.

I smacked a palm to my forehead, anger bubbling within me. And what made my anger finally erupt was when loud moaning and hard pants started echoing from inside my bathroom.

Dear God, no...

"Dude! Get your crazy bitch ass outta my bathroom. Better yet, get your fat-head, little dick ass out of my fucking room!" I yelled while slamming my fists against the door.

I was pissed. Seriously pissed. And I'm an Enenra, so when a creature like me is royally pissed...

Watch the fuck out.

And as though the fucker had never heard me, Bi-Han's mentally unstable ass moaned louder and began to scream his own name.

"Ohhh Bi-Han! Your dick is too fine! Fap! Fap! Fap!" I heard him crying out loud to himself.

Oh HELL NO!

Having had enough of Sub-Zero's madness, I rendered myself invisible and walked into the bathroom. Upon entering it, my grey eyes widened in sheer horror.

Bi-Han... That limp-dick motherfucker...

He was in my shower, apparently masturbating! The faggot had pink and yellow curlers in his hair, which was pointless since his hair was only an inch and a half short. I also saw a bottle of Herbal Essences on my sink.

Faggot ass bitch...

"DICK-WAD! GET YOUR HAIRY ASS OUT OF MY SHOWER BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU!" I shouted. I know Bi-Han thought I wasn't serious, but I really was. As angry as I was, I wouldn't think twice about hurling a series of smoke grenades at his ass...

Even if it meant I'd kill him. I wouldn't fucking care. This faggot should already know that demons like myself are to never be angered.

Bi-Han obviously heard me since he flinched hard. Obviously scared shitless, he turned his attention to me and screamed like a pansy. And what he did next made me even angrier.

He started ripping the curlers out of his hair and began to throw them one at me... one by one. Swiftly dodging the hair utensils, I hurled a large smoke grenade at the insane man through the shower walls.

That should teach his ass...

Upon impact, Sub-Zero disappeared and levitated so high into the air that he flew through the roof, breaking the ceiling. The ice user screamed very loud, so loud that everyone in our entire wing was aroused from their sleep.

I looked up through the hole in the ceiling and began to crack the fuck up from what'd just occurred. While in the midst of laughing, Kuai Liang had barged into my bathroom. Except I didn't notice he was there until he tossed an ice pebble in my direction.

"What," Tundra started, looking straight at me with a confused, tired look on his face, "the fuck is going on here?"

I motioned for my best friend to come to where my shower was located and pointed up to the ceiling. "See for yourself, bro. Your faggot ass brother was having a wank in my shower. Not surprising, huh?" I finished sarcastically.

Tundra followed and looked up into the gaping hole in my shower ceiling. "Holy shit!"

I smirked before we both ended up laughing at Bi-Han, whom was still levitating at least 3 feet up. It was even funnier since the fagboy was screaming like a bitch, flailing his arms wildly.

It was as though he was trying to fly or some weird shit. I mean, this is fuckin' Sub-Zero we're looking at here.

"Did you throw one of your enhanced bombs?" asked Kuai Liang. He stared at me all wide-eyed before he began to cackle uncontrollably.

Smirking again in triumph, I responded, "Yeah. Like I said before, this faggot ass he-she was jerking off in my shower. Then he started to throw his hair accessories at me for catching him. That's when I threw a smoke grenade at him."

"What the fuck? Why the hell would he even come in here to wash up in your shower?" Tundra blurt out. I couldn't really blame the poor guy for being flabbergasted.

Before I was able to comment on the matter, Bi-Han suddenly dropped from mid-air. He fell so fast that he crashed through my shower floor. It was clear to both Tundra and myself that he'd landed through another part of the temple.

Kuai Liang stopped laughing once we heard other Lin Kuei brethren screaming in alarm. We shared a nervous glance as we decided to see where the older, crazy Cryomancer ended up. As we exited my room, several other Lin Kuei members decided to tag along with us to find out Bi-Han's fate.

Sen, of course, had his camera on him to record the madness.

Of course he would. Heh.

A loud yell suddenly resonated through the corridors of the temple. The voice was horribly familiar that we automatically knew who it was.

Kai.

"SUB-ZERO! I AM FUCKING MYSELF AT THE GIVEN MOMENT! ARE YOU HERE TO PLEASE YOUR MASTER?" Kai yelled out loud.

Once Kuai Liang, myself and the other clansmen reached to where our boss was at... It was a sight to behold, man.

Seriously. Our Grandmaster. OUR FUCKING GRANDMASTER...

Was standing nude on top of Sub-Zero's unconscious, naked body and wiggling his dick near his face.

My eyes widened in shock as the man suddenly did the unexpected.

Kai ejaculated on top of Bi-Han's face.

Tundra and I collapsed on the floor laughing in hysterics.

"Holy fucking shit! I gotta put this on Facebook," Kuai Liang said between laughs. "You know that, right?"

We all started laughing harder while Bi-Han lay there, unmoving, for nearly an eternity. I watched from my peripheral vision as my best friend whipped out his phone and logged into his Facebook account.

Tundra read his status aloud as he typed. "Well now. My brother is officially a gay slut. I was wondering when it would come out in the open."

I clutched my stomach tightly, still howling in sheer amusement at the whole scenario. This shit was hilarious, and I knew Hanzo would have a nice cackle or two at this shit once he found out.

But what Sub-Zero did just now made me want to piss my pants.

What he did? I'll tell you. The elder Cryomancer stirred, got up, and ran out of the hallway.

Naked.

"Oh my God! The Grandmaster ejaculates more than I do! This is ridiculous!" he cried.

Hearing that bold statement from my best friend's mentally unstable brother caused tears to come down my eyes. I turned my head to my right and saw several of my fellow Lin Kuei brothers literally rolling on the floor from witnessing what is happening. Even Tundra, whom had finished updating his status, fell onto his knees, crying.

"My bro... He's fucking crazy."

Sen heard us and replied. "No shit, Kuai Liang."

Yep. Gotta love Bi-Han...