Innocence…
The last lingering stars begin to fade into misty dawn. The air is cold, its bite sharp, as I breathe slowly in…
Such a strange word, innocence…
Out… I watch the swirling mists, mocking my present existence. To show life by such cold numbness, beautiful and ethereal… I am alive. So alive…
It was a secret, quiet, joy that filled my waking minutes. It waited impatiently beside me when I slept, blissfully innocent… ignorant. But Fate does not forgive innocence.
They would call me reckless… but I was free. Above the world, where innocence remains in an ethereal domain, I race from memory, erasing… Tomorrow is a new day, I might say. Or perhaps I should say today. I smile softly to myself.
The golden sunrise melts the world away…
I was so full of life...
I remember another sunrise… red. Blindingly red.
Sometimes I laugh when I think of the insanity. To wish for immortality! Don't you think it's funny? I do. Sometimes it's the funniest idea on earth… because something has to be. What is life without laughter?
A pair of faces, red to match, silent, unseeing, forever…
Sometimes I am silent. There is nothing to say… no reason to be. Yet here I am, here I remain, to save the day once again. After all, I only have to live…
A voice echoes through the years for neither can live, while the other survives the multitude of voices. To survive the multitude of voices, shouting, screaming, cursing, killing, until only silence remains. Cold silence.
After all, I only have to survive…
Sometimes I scream. Scream because the silence is killing me… sometimes I wish that were true. But only the dead may scream, shattering the night, haunting dreams. A face, a lovely face, beautiful, red, disfigured, screaming into silence. She is not dead either. One of the few, unlucky…
The multitude of voices roars through the night, the last remnant of Death's Flight. Happy voices, the voices of friends… family… In each memory, the unspoken "save me" shines like laughter through their eyes. Innocently, I try…
I try to forget… sometimes.
I only know that whatever happened to me, I'd rather live than allow it to happen to anyone again. It is this drive alone, this fierce determination to protect the world from what I have become, that allows me to face the dread of waking.
Sometimes I wake. I wake from dreamless golden flight, to nightmare red reality. I never sleep anymore…
And so, Fate, a toast to you. To the loss of innocence.