Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Chicago Fire. NBC and that Law and Order guy own them. I am not making any money whatsoever from this story. I am writing this purely for my and other Chicago Fire fans' personal enjoyment.
Author's Note: This story is going to be a short fic, I have two more chapters planned. I am, however, thinking about how I can make this the first part in a series. I plan to update at least once a week, possibly more depending on how things are going for me at college and at work. This is a hobby that helps me wind down so I may get more written than I plan. I welcome any and all feedback and/or suggestions for my writing.
The time frame for Unglued is post episode 2x11, "Shoved In My Face". This story is rated T for language and thematic elements. The show is TV-14, so there's that.
Unglued
Chapter One
Casey's dreams have all been blurs lately. They were little bits and pieces of memories that ached every time they surfaced: poker, fishing, life at Station 51. Andy was in every single one of them, with his goofy grin and floppy hair. He was vibrant and alive. This dream is different though, right from the beginning. This was the terrible memory that he replayed a thousand times in his mind, and it always ended the same way.
It was that day again. It was just a routine structure fire. No one should have died here. All the casual banter and nuances of that day are playing at a fast clip. Before Casey knows it, he and Andy are both climbing the aerial ladder. Andy's already reached the window, now shattering the glass for entry. Casey is completely paralyzed. He tries to yell at him to stop and to come back, but he has no voice. Andy turns around and flashes a smile before he disappears into the house.
Casey felt his chest ache already. He knew what was coming next. Right on cue, there is a flashover. Andy disappeared into the rush of flame, and Casey ducked to miss the sudden rush of heat and flame that shot out from the window. He clung to the ladder. His chest heaved, his eyes were fixed on the last spot he saw Andy. There was no one there. In the background, Casey was dimly aware of people yelling, but he was frozen on the ladder. A hand clapped him on his back. "Come on, Matt. Let's just get you down from here, okay?" It was Severide.
"No, I gotta go get Andy. He's still in there, Severide. You saw him go in, right?" Casey could barely hear his own voice. He felt like he was watching himself from outside his body. Severide, damn him, was calm and professional, at least for now. "I know, buddy. We're going to get him. We've got to wait for them to get everything under control though now, since…" Severide's voice trailed off and he swallowed thickly. "Let's just get down from here right now, okay?"
Casey watched himself climb numbly down the ladder, Severide close behind him. Minutes blur by, and the next thing he knew, he sees Boden shouting orders, but only heard the word "recovery". He jumped up and ran after Severide and Hadley, but was pulled back by Boden. "You stay here. That's an order, Lieutenant."
Casey felt himself being led to the back of the ambulance. Everything spun sickeningly around him, faces and objects swirled into the smoke. The next thing he knew, Severide and Hadley were coming out of the remains of the charred house. Casey knew they carried Andy's lifeless body.
"Chief, there's another body up there. She was in the closet. The flashover didn't get her, but the smoke did." Severide avoided Casey's eyes. He coughed and smeared soot away from his face. "We're going to go back up there for her, it'll just take a minute."
Boden nodded and stared wordlessly at Andy's body along with Casey. "I can't look at him, Chief. I told him not to go in, he just didn't listen. I should have made him listen!" Casey choked on the last phrase, turning his wide eyes up to Boden.
Boden glanced upwards, his mouth twisted downwards. "I know. I heard everything on the radio. We don't need to discuss it now. Let's just get through this moment right now."
Casey didn't hear the Chief's words. He was too busy watching Severide and Hadley's last recovery. He recognized everything from the wavy hair to the shoes on the feet. Severide met Casey's wild eyes. "Stay there, Casey. You don't want to see this right now." Casey was already on his feet, past Boden's reach.
"No, no, no, Christ no," Casey sobbed, "That can't be. This isn't happening." He sank to his knees on the lawn. Severide and Hadley were in front of him, laying out the body for Casey to see. Severide smoothed the soft hair away from the face before he spat, "Don't try to be a hero. She's already gone. You couldn't do anything to save her. You killed Andy. You killed her too, you know. You don't deserve to be Lieutenant. You don't deserve to wear a goddamned badge. You make me sick, Casey."
Casey let out a ragged sob at the sight of Hallie, cold and dead, lying right in front of him. "I'm so sorry, Hallie. So sorry I couldn't do anything…" He reached out for her hand, and nearly jumped out of his skin when she sat up and stared directly into his face. "You did this, Matt. You failed. Everything you do is a failure. Just ask Andy."
Casey felt frozen in shock and fear, but he didn't have to look far. Andy stood behind him, looking like a charred zombie. His turnout gear was tattered and shredded. His face looked like it had melted off, and the exposed teeth were blackened. The only physical indicator of his identity was the name Darden on the helmet dangling sideways on his skull. Somehow, Casey could tell that Andy was mocking him. "What's the matter, Matt? Can't stand to look at me, huh? I wouldn't exactly say I look like Adonis right now, but I don't think I'm that ugly."
Okay, Casey thought, now I know this is not happening. He ran his hands across his face. "Andy, Hallie, I'm so sorry, you know I am! Please don't do this to me. Please!" Andy and Hallie responded with wicked laughter. "We're not doing anything to you. You're doing it to yourself. It's so fun to watch, Matt," Hallie whispered in Casey's ear, whispers he could barely hear over his own screams.
Casey shook himself into consciousness. He was sweating, and his heart was nearly beating out of his chest. The clock on the bedside table read 3:09. He gasped for air, and stole a worried gaze at Gabriela asleep beside him, relieved that his screaming was confined to the dream. Gabriela had no idea what he had just been through in his own mind, and he wanted to keep it that way. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, and placed his head in his hands. It had been months since the last time he had a nightmare about Andy, or Hallie.
This one had to be one of the worst ones.
As tired as he had been hours ago when he went to bed, his hellish dream had ruined any former hopes for rest tonight. He wouldn't be sleeping for the rest of the night, that's for sure. He made sure that he wasn't disturbing Gabriela, then grabbed a robe and slippers and headed for the kitchen. He could make some tea and at least try to relax.
He crept quietly down the steps in a further effort not to awaken his sleeping partner. He stepped over the squeaky step and onto the first floor landing. Halfway to the kitchen, he saw a figure sitting at the dining room table. I know there's something wrong with me. "Andy, is that you?" Casey managed to gasp out before reaching for a chair in an attempt to regain his balance.
"Hey, buddy. You're not just going to stand there with your mouth open, are you?"
To be continued in Chapter Two