Ghost of You, a doctor who fanfic

A/N: Well this is my first try at a song fic...Hope it isn't too bad, This song just reminds me of Martha so much. I think it suits her quite well.

Turn my back to the door.
Feel so much better now.
Don't even try anymore, nothing left to lose

Martha sighed as she closed the door to the TARDIS. She knew she was doing what she should. And really. the Doctor could never love her back, so what did she have to lose by leaving? The adventures weren't worth the emotional pain

Even though she would miss them.

There's a voice that's in the air,
Saying don't look back nowhere
There's a voice that's always there…

She was half tempted to run back in, to tell the Doctor that she wanted to stay but then part of her stopped her, telling her not to go back. She needed to take care of her family, who would never forget the year of horrible torture they'd gone through.

And I'll never be quite the same,
As I was before this
Part of you still remains,
Though it's out of focus.

Just like she could never forget the adventures the Doctor had taken her on. She gave another sigh. She knew she couldn't go back to being the normal med student she was before. The Doctor had given her a sense for adventure. She couldn't go back to a normal life.

You're just somewhere that I've been
And I won't go back again.
You're just somewhere that I've been…

She would never go back to him. Not ever. He was just another chapter in her life that would fade away eventually. That's all he was. A part of her life that she would never revisit. That she would pretend had never even happened when looking back on her life.

I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
Ain't that what it's all about?
Living life crazy loud, like I have the right to.
No more words in my mouth,
Nothing left to figure out
But I don't think I'll ever break through,
The ghost of you.

That's what life is about anyway, right? Moving forward and not daunting on the past. The past was, well the past. She smiled. The Doctor, the time traveler, would laugh at that very thought wouldn't he? Damn it, there she went. Already breaking her own promise to forget about him.

And I'll never be like I was,
The day I met you
Too naive, yes I was.
Boy that's why I let you in.
Wear your memory like a stain,
Can't erase or numb the pain.
Here to stay with me forever.

That day in the hospital, she had no clue the Doctor would be changing her forever, so much that a normal life that wasn't possible for her anymore. She'd been so naïve, so foolish to fall for that mysterious man. She should've listened when he said that kiss meant nothing.

One of these days I'll wake up from this,
Bad dream I'm dreaming.
One of these days I'll pray that I'll be
Over, over, over you.
One of these days I'll realize that,
I'm so tired of feeling confused.
But for now, there's a reason that you're still here in my heart.

Would she ever be able to think about the Doctor without crying her eyes out? Thinking about what could've been. Where he was now that she had left. Would she ever be able to close her eyes without dreaming of all the good times, and all the bad times together?

I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
Ain't that what it's all about?
Living life crazy loud, like I have the right to.
No more words in my mouth,
Nothing left for me to doubt.
But I don't think I'll ever break through,
The ghost of you

She needed to let go of him. She needed to move on with her life. But deep down, she knew that she couldn't. She'd always, always be reliving this moment awake and asleep. The moment that she left the Doctor. Then, she walked away through the gate and into the house with a confident look.

Breathin' in, breathin' out
Breathin' in, breathin' out,
Like I have the right to.
No more words in my mouth,
Nothing left to figure out.

But I don't think I'll ever break through,
The ghost of you...