The Scent That Never Fades

by LydiaTheOriginalHellion

Joker hides his insecurities about his debilitating bone disease behind his silver tongued wit. He pushes away the one woman who was able to look past his crutches and sarcasm to see his heart of gold. Surely, someone like Commander Hellion Shepard deserves a normal life with a normal man. He comes to find that she is a hard woman to let go of. Part Two Added 4/11/2015

1. The Scent That Never Fades One

!WARNING!

This story has intermittent curse words and contains depictions of violence and explicit acts of intercourse. Viewer discretion is advised.

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ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BIOWARE; THE CREATORS OF THE MASS EFFECT UNIVERSE! IT'S THEIR UNIVERSE! I JUST PLAY WITH IT!

I have not, currently do not and will not make money off of this story.

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Prolog: The Beginning of The End

"Kazim Batrisyia?" The high ranking officer called out, scanning the room. A young man stood, his long black hair plastered to his sweaty face. He inwardly cursed the

scorching summer heat of Tunisia as he followed the slender woman to a windowless room. "You shall be transferring to the North American Alliance vessel... it's in

English; I can't pronounce it. You'll be briefed more in depth on your way to Vancouver." The woman read off of her data pad as Kazim took a seat. "North America?

Isn't there…" Kazim started but was silenced by a wave of the woman's hand. "They've been requesting a pilot for months. You have some of the highest scores the

Alliance has seen and you speak English, do you not?" Kazim rolled his eyes. "And French..." "Then I don't see the problem, Kazim." "What about…us, Aadila?" His

black eyebrows knitted together as he regarded the slim brunette. Her golden eyes flashed up from the data pad. "We are Alliance soldiers…and duty is more

important than love." Kazim straightened up and nodded. "I understand."

---

"You drive me insane!" Hannah shouted, pushing Kazim up against the wall. Kazim simply smirked at Hannah, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "I have to give

you a hard time, Nana. Got to keep you on your toes…you couldn't reach anything otherwise." "You're an ass" She muttered as she got up on her tip toes to kiss him.

---

"Why do I keep letting him fuck with my heart?" Hannah bleated at Steve Hackett. He shrugged and offered a consoling touch on her shoulder. "I have no

idea…especially when there's someone else who could treat you better." Hannah regarded him for a second before planting a kiss on his lips. Steve melted into her

kiss and held the back of her head, undoing her hair tie. "I've loved you for so long, Hannah…" He whispered as he laid her down on the bed.

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"So…you and Kazim are getting married, hu?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow up at Hannah. "We sure are. We're going to go to his birth country and get married by

the Mediterranean Sea. It's just going to be a small ceremony…nothing fancy." "Well, I'm happy for you guys." Steven took Hannah's hand and kissed her palm. "You'll

find someone to love, Stevie." Hannah said with a smile. "I don't know about that." "You're capable of love; you're not a robot, Steve." "No, I'm not…but the only

woman I'll ever love is engaged to someone else." Hannah gave Steve a surprised look. "Who…oh, Steve." She wept silently as she gave Steve a hug. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be." He said quietly, biting his lip.

---

"Kazim?" A tall and slender woman walked up to Kazim and Helen. Kazim glanced over to Hannah, who was basking in the sun and peacefully sleeping on her towel.

"Aadila…well, it's nice to see you again." Kazim said in Arabic with a small smile. "Is that all you have to say?" Aadila asked with an unmistakable crestfallen look about

her face. "What do you want me to say?" Aadila looked to the sand beneath her feet. "Who is the white woman?" She asked. "That 'white woman' is my wife." Kazim

answered bitterly. "I thought you loved me!" She said, raising her voice. "I did…once. I still might have if duty didn't always come first. With her," he cast a smile at

Hannah, "we managed to balance love and duty." Aadila sniffled and passed a dark look at Hannah. "I'm…happy for you." She said before quickly departing.

---

"I'm sorry, Hannah; Kazim couldn't take time off…but I'm here." Steve added quietly, holding up Hannah's head. He gently took her hand and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you…Stevie; at least her godfather is…OW!" The nurse gazed up from between Hannah's raised and parted legs. "Alright Mrs. Shepard… I need you to push

now."

---

"Thanks for pulling some strings, Steve." Kazim said as he shook Steve Hackett's hand. "If you and Hellion had the same last name, I don't think I could have done it."

Kazim waved him off. "Bullshit, I bet all you'd have to do is bat your long, girly lashes and you'd be given your own solar system. You're the man; don't be bashful

about it. Anyways, at least now I get to spend some time with her before she grows up."

---

"Hell…AH!" Lieutenant Hellion Shepard heard the sound of explosions over her communicator and began to weep silently. She pressed the communicator in her ear.

"Dad… Dad?" She whispered and kept her eyes glued to her pistol. Her gun was held high, poised for action but shook along withher trembling arm. A large, four eyed

batarian walked passed by the crate she was kneeling behind, completely unaware of her presence. She held her breath and prepared herself. After he was well out

of sight, she clicked her communicator again. "Dad? Flight Lieutenant Kazim Batrisyia, do you copy?" "Squirt… the Epiphany is done for. I'm slowly losing altitude and I

can't shake the batarian fighter on my tail. Listen to me, Hellion; Rear Admiral Hackett is on his way with the rest of the Fifth Fleet. I need you to be the strong girl that

I know you are and hold on! Who's like us?" The uniquely high pitched pilot asked. "Daddy, please don't…" Shepard pleaded, dropping her gun. "Hellion…who's like

us?" He repeated more sternly. "A damned few…and they're all…" Shepard's communicator buzzed loudly as a ship on the horizon that she identified as the Epiphany

burst into flames and blasted to pieces as it hit the ground. The batarian fighter jet got caught in the shock wave and went down seconds later. "And they're all

dead." She whimpered as she gripped her gun.

---

Hellion screamed as she punched the wall of the infirmary. Blue biotic flames burst forth from her hands with every punch. Steve Hackett rounded the corner and

wrapped Hellion in his arms. "I need you to calm down, sweetheart." "Those four eyed bastards killed my dad…killed everyone on the Epiphany!" She wailed as she

struggled against Steve's vice grip. "I know and I'm sorry but I need you to get a grip on yourself… you're being promoted and will be receiving a medal for you

service." Hellion stopped wiggling and slumped in Steve's arms. "I don't want to be promoted…I don't want a fucking medal and I don't want to be a biotic freak… I

want my dad!" Hellion bit her tongue, trying to stem the tide of tears. "They can take turns shoving my promotion and that damn medal up their collective asses!"

Steve spun her around and embraced her. He buried his fingers in her pixie styled hair and held her close to his chest as she let out a pained wail. "It's okay,

Hellion…let it out while you can."

---

"Well, I was thinking that you could wear this adorable wig and I could give you a lovely French braid..." "Whoa, what's wrong with my hair the way it is?" The stylist

gave Hellion a dubious look. "It's a little…manly." Hellion stood up and reached for the electronic clippers on the table. She faced the woman, looked her dead in the

eyes and started to buzz off her hair. "It's…just…fucking…hair. It doesn't make me any less or more of a woman." She grumbled as she finished. She set the clippers

down, brushed off the hair from her neck and shoulders and walked out of the stylists' room.

---

Steve rubbed his forehead. "The pilot doesn't make the ship." Hellion regarded him for a second before thumbing over the Normandy's file. "My dad would have

disagreed with you, Hackett. This guy…this Jeffery Moreau fellow…he knows what he's doing. If we were to ever get in a pinch, I'd bet my last credit that he'd be able

to pull us through. Besides, the Normandy needs a Commander. Also, this…Kaidan Alenko guy is a biotic so I'll have someone to train with." Steve gave a forlorn look

to the files left unread. "If that's what you want, Hellion…I'll see what I can do." Hellion Shepard smiled and gave Steve a one armed hug. "Thanks, pops."

Chapter 1: Don't Turn Around; The Commander's In Town

"Just look at her, Lieutenant Alenko! That little thing single handedly managed to save the entire colony of Elysium! I swear if there wasn't vids, no one in the galaxy

would believe it!" The red haired Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau stared in awe at the stout 5'2" women receiving her Commander status on his omni tool. "I

have looked at her; she looks like she would make the sweetest love to you and then rip off your pecker and beat you with it if you came too soon. She's my little

celebrity crush, you could say." Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko said, running his tan hand absentmindedly over his dark mahogany hair. Joker snickered at Kaidan and

turned off the vid. "Kaidan; that is beyond gross and now I have to try to sleep with that image tonight… So thanks, thanks a lot." Joker mumbled cheekily. Kaidan's

husky laugh reverberated throughout the cockpit. "Anyway, you got to admit; we lucked out on getting Commander Built-Like-A-Brick-Shithouse Shepard on the

Normandy. I heard Admiral Hackett almost denied her transfer here but get this; she requested it!" Kaidan raised his dark eyebrow at Joker. "Why is that?" He asked,

leaning in. "Decontamination in progress. Decontamination in progress." The Normandy's pleasant female automated voice said, barely audible over the

decontamination field whirr. The airlock opened and a smell crept in that Joker couldn't quite place. It was an androgynous scent; subtle like the dull hiss of a gun

overheating, a single strand of spider silk brushing up against a bare arm or waves lapping gently at the shore. It was delicate but it filled the room quickly and totally.

The owner of the intoxicating aroma stepped lightly onto the bridge. The armored leggings of a female's armor usually hid any definition but this was not the case with

Commander Shepard. Her legs were thick and more defined than most Marines Joker knew. The snow camouflage armor she wore looked painfully tight and hugged

every inch of her overly muscular form. She turned towards the cock pit and sauntered over to Joker and Kaidan, her wide hips swaying with her sultry gait. She laid a

pale and calloused hand on the helmsmen's chair. "Good evening, gentlemen." Commander Shepard said. "Oh sweet Christ, does she really sound like that? It's like

Aphrodite herself." Joker thought to himself. Her voice was deep, raspy and made the small hairs on the back of Joker's neck to stand on end. When she released the

back of his chair, he slowly turned to face her. He was floored; the buzz cut would have looked ridiculous on most women but it fit so well with her small, heart shaped

face. Even though her hair was untraditionally short, enough hair remained to tell that it was blacker than deep space; a lovely contrast to her milk white skin. Her

pale green eyes were wide, curious and accented with black eyeliner. Joker felt them dive into the very depths of his soul and touch a very primitive place inside him.

Her full, pouting lips were coated with lipstick as black as her eye liner. He found it impossible to blink, think or even breathe for a short time. Kaidan Alenko jumped up

and saluted. "Ma' me, I'm Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, ma' me!" "At ease, soldier." She cast what could only be called a devious grin at the energetic Lieutenant as she

extended her hand to shake his. She looked towards and bore down on Joker, who had remained seated. "And you must be Flight Lieutenant Jeffery Moreau." She

said in a slightly deeper tone than she had spoken to Kaidan; her dark, shapely eyebrows knitting together. Joker replied, "Most people just call me Joker. You must

be Commander Shepard." She snorted and sneered at the insubordinate pilot. "That I am. Well, it's nice to see at least one of you can follow Alliance protocol." With

that, she pivoted and walked in the opposite direction towards the 3D rendering of the galaxy, leaving her scent to linger in the cock pit. "Ouch. She's going to be fun

to deal with." Joker huffed. "Well, she obviously didn't read your medical report yet or she would have known you were exempt from a lot of protocols, like standing to

salute a superior officer." Kaidan said with a comforting smile as he sat back down. "Yea, well…maybe. And what the shit is that smell?" Joker said, trying to change

the subject. "I think it's cucumber and…some sort of melon…I like it." Kaidan sniffed the air. "I bet you ten credits that it's not." Joker retorted, still irritated at the

Commander's attitude. "What do you think it is?" Kaidan asked, leaning in. "It's probably some girly flower or something." Joker said with a bored tone. "You know

what, I'll take that bet." "You're going to lose this bet, Canadian." "Come on now; leave my country out of this." Kaidan said with a grin. "So, why do you think she

requested to be here?" Joker shrugged at Kaidan's inquiry. "The Normandy is the best ship in the Alliance Fleet; if there were any reason that would be my guess."

---

"Are you contagious?" Joker stared up in disbelief at the Commander. Her face bore the look of genuine concern. "Seriously, Commander?" Joker asked, bewildered. "I

am indeed serious; I haven't had the chance to read your medical profile." She said; her face remaining contorted with uncertainty. "You… you didn't read my medical

profile…well, I feel like an ass. No, Commander; I'm not contagious. I have something called Vrolik's syndrome. It's…" The Commander cut him off with a wave of her

hand. "I know what it is, Joker; its brittle bone disease." Joker cocked a dark, red eyebrow up at her. "My favorite writer from the late twenty first century had the

same disease." "Natalia Rudnick?" Joker asked giddily, to which Shepard nodded. "I had no idea that you had it, Joker. I'm so sorry…" "Great, another pity party for poor

me…" Joker's thoughts were interrupted, "…that I scolded you when I first came aboard." Joker stifled a laugh. "Hu, would you look at that?" "That's fine, Shepard; you

didn't know so I can't blame you for that. I'm just glad you didn't go on a woe-is-Joker tirade." "No, Joker. I believe you do that enough for the both of us." Joker

looked at her with a mock pained expression. He clutched his chest and pouted up at her. "Madame, you wound me." "I'm about to." She flashed a wicked smile, a real

smile; the kind that caused little crow's feet to appear at the corners of her eyes. She pivoted and walked away. Kaidan let out a low whistle. "I think my woman is

hitting on you; you better back off." He said with a not so convincing playful tone to Joker.

Chapter 2: Finding Eden

Turians…their mouths and their needle like teeth seemed very feline in nature. From plates on their forehead, several knife like appendages curved over their skull and

went straight out behind their head. Bone hard cartilage stuck out of their necks and traveled down into their suits like armor for their vertebrae. Forward facing

vibrant, bright eyes were sunken into deep, black pits surrounded by thick plated orbital bones. A secondary mandible lay on top of the mandible within the turian face

only this one had a gap where the chin would be and moved independently of the facial muscles. Turian males had two sets of thin, small stalactite like structures

hanging off of the ends of the mandibles. Human children tended to be frightened of turians because of their fierce look but Shepard, even as a child, felt nothing but a

cold indifference. The same was true for the turian that skulked the deck, popping up behind Shepard when she least expected it. The turian Spectre now hovered

behind Joker, watching him pilot towards a Mass Relay. "The Arcturus Relay is in range…initiating transmission sequence. We are connected…calculating transit

destination. The Relay is hot…acquiring approach vector and mass. All stations secure for transit. The board is green; approach run has begun." Joker said confidently

as the Relay came into view. "Hitting the relay in three…two…one." A streak of blue jolted from the Replay and grabbed a hold of the Normandy; time seemed to slow

to a crawl then speed back up as the ship was hurtled across the galaxy. "Thrusters…check… navigation…check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems are

online and drift is just under 15k." Joker said, smirking at his handiwork as he clicked away at the console. "Fifteen hundred is good; your Captain will be pleased."

The turian Nihilus said with clenched mandibles and walked away, brushing past Shepard on his way out. "Man, I hate that guy." Joker said moodily as Nihilus

disappeared. "Nihlus gives you a compliment…so you hate him?" Kaidan asked with a raised eyebrow. "Remembering to zip up your suit after you use the bathroom is

'good'. I just jumped us across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pin head; that's incredible!" Commander Shepard walked up behind him, stood at parade rest

and snickered. "I'll have to agree with you on that, Joker; that's a hell of a good job." She placed her hand on Joker's shoulder ever so gently, her scent overpowering

his senses. Joker blushed slightly and cracked a grin. "Well, I'll be a turian's uncle; a compliment from the hard ass herself!" He thought. "Well, you don't become the

pilot to the most expensive Alliance vessel by being shitty; I'm the best." "Joker, send Commander Shepard to the com room." The brooding voice of Captain Anderson

crackled over the intercom. "Aye aye, Captain Anderson. And just so you know; Nihlus is on his way." Captain Anderson sighed. "He's already here, Joker." The

intercom buzzed; the feed was cut. "Did you hear that, Commander?" Joker asked, tilting his head up to her. "Great. Now I get to deal with his shitty attitude."

Shepard said in a cold tone. Joker scowled at the screen. "He always sounds shitty." Joker commented under his breath. "Only after talking to you, Joker." Shepard

quipped. "Ha, you're so funny that people should start calling you Joker instead, Commander." He retorted, turning to her. She playfully stuck her tongue out from

behind her black lips at Joker and walked off. Joker smiled and turned his attention back to the controls.

---

On her way to the debriefing room, Shepard bumped into Dr. Karin Chakwas and Corporal Jenkins, who saluted eagerly. "I don't know about you, Commander, but I

hope we get off of Eden Prime soon; I'm dying for some real action!" Jenkins said, pounding his knuckles together. Dr. Chakwas gave the young man a horrified look.

"I sincerely hope that you're joking. 'Real action' usually means I end up with a full infirmary." Shepard rubbed her temples. "You need to calm down, Corporal. A good

soldier knows how to keep cool under fire. I can't have you being a hot head and getting yourself killed." Jenkins rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Shepard

sheepishly. "Sorry Commander but the waiting is killing me!" "If you treat this like any other mission, everything's going to work out." "Come on, Commander! We both

know this isn't your routine, run of the mill mission; there's a Spectre on board! Besides, everybody knows what you can do. You got to prove yourself during the Blitz.

This is my time to shine, show the Alliance brass what I can do!" Jenkins said giddily. "You're young, Corporal, and if you don't act stupid you'll have a long career

ahead of you." "Don't worry, ma 'me," Jenkins said, raising his hands pleadingly, "I won't do anything to screw this up!" "You're from Eden Prime, aren't you, Jenkins?

What's it like?" Jenkins rubbed his neck again. "It's boring, Commander; farm land as far as the eye can see. There's hardly any real development, no hustle and

bustle of exciting city life. It was charming when I as a kid but as I got older…well, paradise gets old." "Have any idea why we're heading there?" Shepard asked, to

which the Corporal shook his head. "I honestly have no idea why. Like I said; there's nothing but farmers there. There has to be something major going on if we're

going there, though… especially with that Spectre on board. I guess that's why I'm so amped up." Shepard looked to Dr. Chakwas. "What do you know about the

Spectre's and Nihilus, doc?" "Well, Nihilus rarely speaks to anyone beside Captain Anderson. I know next to nothing about the turian. As for Spectre's, I guess you

could think of them as Special Op's. They are hand chosen by the Citadel Council, report directly to the Council and are effectively above the law in most instances."

Shepard gave Dr. Chakwas a dubious look. "How do you control a Spectre if they're above the law?" Dr. Chakwas waved her hand at Shepard's question. "Like I said,

the Council directly controls them. If one were to get out of hand, well, I'd imagine that they'd revoke their Spectre status and send Citadel Security to deal with

them." Jenkins chuckled at Dr. Chakwas. "Please, those C-Sec officers wouldn't stand a chance; I bet the Council would have to send another Spectre if it came down

to it." "I wonder why I haven't heard of any human Spectres." Shepard mused aloud. "Spectre's come from the Council races; turians like Nihilus, salarians and asari.

Humans have been trying to get one of their own accepted into their ranks, both the Council and Spectre's, but to no avail." Dr. Chakwas said solemnly. The Corporal

jumped up and clapped. "Hey Commander! You'd make a bad ass Spectre; you're a war hero! You fought off those batarians on Elysium single handed; that's the kind

of talent a Spectre has!" Dr. Chakwas scratched her forehead and turned to the energetic Corporal. "That's mere speculation, Jenkins; the Council isn't looking to add

a human to the Spectre's no matter how capable they are." Shepard hid her disappointment at Dr. Chakwas' assessment. "The Captain is waiting for me." "Then we

should leave you to it." Dr. Chakwas said as she and the Corporal saluted.

---

Nihilus stood with his back towards Shepard and his thin arms crossed. Shepard looked around to find Anderson but he didn't seem to be in the room anymore. Nihilus

turned to face Shepard, dropping his arms to his sides. "Commander Shepard, I'm glad you're here. Anderson had to step out for a second and that gives us some

time to talk one on one." "What about?" Shepard asked curtly. "I'm interested in hearing what you know about this world that we're headed to; Eden Prime." Nihilus

said as he paced. "I've never been there myself but I hear that it's a paradise of sorts." Shepard paraphrased Corporal Jenkins words. "Yes, a paradise; serene,

tranquil…safe. Eden Prime has become a sort of symbol for your species, hasn't it? It stands as proof that humanity can not only establish colonies throughout the

galaxy but also thrive…but how safe is it really?" He asked, his mandibles flaring slightly. "Is that a threat, turian? Didn't your kind do enough damage during the First

Contact War?" Shepard asked, feeling her face get hot. "You're people are still newcomers, Shepard, and the galaxy can be a very dangerous place for those whom

are not prepared. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?" Nihilus asked in a dark tone, ignoring her comment. Anderson came in and cast a forlorn look to Nihilus. "I think

it's time we tell Shepard what's really going on." Nihilus stepped forward. "This mission is far more than a simple shake down." "Tell me something I don't know."

Shepard retorted coolly. "A research team discovered some kind of beacon at an excavation site… it was prothean." Anderson said ominously. "Protheans…the species

that died out fifty thousand years ago?" Shepard asked. "The very same. The same species that left behind the Citadel, the Mass Relays and the ship drives we use."

Nihilus added. "This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity found prothean artifacts, it jumped our civilization and technology forward two centuries. The thing is Eden

Prime isn't developed enough to handle something like this; we need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study." Anderson said, his voice thick with

excitement. "The beacon isn't the only reason he's here, Shepard. Nihilus wants to see you in action; he's here to evaluate you." "What for?" Shepard queried. "You

held off an enemy attack during the Blitz, effectively, on your own. You showed incredible courage and skill beyond the call of duty; that's the kind of thing the Council

looks for in recruiting Spectre's." Shepard shook her head, amazed that Corporal Jenkins had been correct. "And that's the main reason that I put your name forward

as a candidate for the Spectre's." Nihilus added. "You put my name forward? Why would a turian want a human in the Spectre's?" Shepard asked, bewildered. "Not all

turians hold a grudge against humanity. The First Contact War was bloody but we have to get passed that, embrace our differences and come together for a better

tomorrow. You embody the best humanity has to offer; I couldn't imagine a better candidate."

---

After receiving a choppy distress single from Eden Prime, Shepard, Kaidan and Jenkins prepared to disembark. They stood ready at the cargo bay door when Nihilus

came up behind them and wiggled his way in front of them. "You're coming with us?" Jenkins asked with anticipation. "I'll be going on ahead; I work better alone."

Nihilus jumped out of the Normandy and began to run towards the excavation sight. "Alright Shepard, you know what's at stake; do the Alliance proud." Anderson

said, poorly hiding the pride in his voice. "Hooah!" Shepard shouted and jumped out after Nihilus. The ground team followed worn path until they came up to some

large boulders that blocked their view. Shepard held up her arm and crouched. She peered over the edge of the rock and after not seeing anything she extended her

arm, motioning for Jenkins to move forward. He brazenly stormed out of hiding and went down the path. "Damn it, Jenkins; get into cover!" She shouted and rolled

over to another rock. Two floating machines that resembled slightly deflated navy blue footballs came into view and shot at Corporal Jenkins, gunning him down on

the spot. Shepard stood up and ran after the machines, her arms glowing with biotic energy. She jumped up and slammed her fists into them, knocking them to the

ground in a steaming pile. She ran back over to Jenkins and checked his pulse; there was none. "Damn it, you stupid fool! I told you to stay down!" She yelled. Kaidan

knelt down and closed the Corporals open eyes. "They ripped right through his shields; he never had a chance." He said somberly. "Leave him, Staff Lieutenant

Alenko; we have to find that beacon." Shepard said coolly, raising her gun and running off down the path. "Aye, aye… ma 'me." They came up to another out cropping

of rocks and hid behind them, hearing the sound of gun fire in the distance. A female soldier in white and pink armor ran towards them and hid behind a crate.

Shepard peeked ahead to see what she was running from and held her gasp; there was a small group of geth pulling a struggling man towards a glowing cone like

object. The geth… an artificial intelligence that hasn't been seen in the past three hundred years and now they were at the Prothean dig site. Shepard couldn't help

but feel that it was not a coincidence. Two of the geth laid the man down on the cone and stood back as a twenty foot spike impaled the man and hoisted him into the

air. "Holy shit." Kaidan whispered behind Shepard. The woman who had run away from the geth stared up at Shepard and Kaidan and mentioned them over. Shepard

and Kaidan slunk towards her and ducked under cover. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, ma 'me." The woman said, panting heavily. "I'm Commander Hellion Shepard,

"Shepard said and then chucked her thumb towards Kaidan, "and this is Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Do you have any idea why geth are here, Gunny?" "All I know

is that they've killed my entire squad. I'd bet my last credit that they're after whatever the scientists dug up." Ashley crooked her head around the crate and swung

back just as fast. The spike that hand impaled the man had lowered and the man that should have been dead… was dead… was now running after them, his body

aglow with blue light. Several more beings quickly followed in his wake. After dispatching the possessed bodies that had been impaled, Shepard, Kaidan and Ashley

came up to a locked shed. Kaidan ran ahead and unlocked it. The three piled in with their guns raised. "Don't shoot; we're civilians!" A short haired brunette

squeaked, her hands raised. "Doesn't…doesn't matter, we're all dead… EVERYONE is dead…or soon will be." The balding, twitching man beside her said ominously.

"Who are you?" Shepard said, not lowering her gun. "I'm Dr. Warren and this is my assistant, Manuel." The woman said as she began fidgeting with her hands. "Have

you seen a turian?" Shepard asked, sheathing her gun. "No… all we saw was a giant ship landing, geth poured out of nowhere…we hid as soon as we could." Dr.

Warren said, casting an uneasy glare at the opened door. "Two turians… one turian not…supposed…to be…here! He'll kill us all! The ship…the ship requests it…"

Manuel mumbled, looking at the floor with bulging eyes. "What about the ship?" Shepard asked, eyeing Manuel with renewed interest. "Ship…makes awful noise…calls

for us!" Manuel whispers and dragged his gloved hands down his wrinkled face. "What the hell is wrong with your assistant?" Shepard asked, getting annoyed with

his ranting. "Manuel has a brilliant mind but…he's always been a bit unstable…genius and madness are two sides of the same coin." "Is it madness to see the future?

To see the destruction running towards us? To see that there is no escape, no hope? No…I'm not mad; I'm the only sane one left!" Manuel said bitterly, still looking

intensively at the floor. "I gave him an extra dose of his meds to calm him down after the attack." Dr. Warren said with a frown. Shepard looked at the twitching

assistant and smirked. "Say goodnight, Manuel." She said. "You cannot silence the truth! My voice must be…" Shepard stopped Manuel half way through his sentence

with a hard blast in the face, knocking him out cold. Dr. Warren jumped back. "Oh my god; what did you do?!" She yelled. "That might have been a little extreme,

Commander." Kaidan whispered in a hush. Dr. Warren pointed her finger at Shepard and said, "You can't just go around whacking people in the head." "He was

delirious and could have been a danger to others or himself." Shepard said plainly, rubbing her sore knuckles. "Well… I suppose you're right. At least his little…uh,

nap… will give his meds time to kick in." "Lock this door behind us and we'll send someone to retrieve you." Shepard said and headed out the door, unsheathing her

gun.

---

Nihilus ducked next to a small flight of stairs; he had heard someone or something walking around on the top landing. He quickly and quietly ascended the steps with

his gun raised. When he got to the top of the landing, his mandibles fell to the sides of his face in disbelief. "Saren?" A large, slate grey turian slowly turned around

and clenched his silver painted mandibles. "Nihilus." Nihilus let his gun fall to his side. "This isn't your mission, Saren; what are you doing here?' He asked his fellow

Spectre. Saren placed his three pronged hand on Nihilus' shoulder. "The Council thought that you could use some help on this one…old friend." He said calmly, walking

behind Nihilus. Nihilus sheathed his gun and stared at the fire in front of him. "I wasn't expecting to find the geth here; this situation is bad." "Don't worry; I've got it

under control." Saren said coolly before shooting Nihilus in the back.

---

Joker sat with his face nearly pressed up against the screen. Kaidan was starting to…levitate? He watched as the Commander spotted Kaidan and marveled at how

high she could jump, given her short stature. She flung him away from the beacon and got caught up in the gravitational pull herself. Joker gasped and could only

stare on in horror as she convulsed, hovering several feet above the ground. "No, Shepard!" He called out, putting his hand to the vid as if to stop her. As if the

beacon heard him, she fell unceremoniously to the ground with a sickening thud. Shortly after, the beacon exploded, sending debris flying everywhere. One large

chunk flew at the security camera that he hacked into and rendered it useless. Joker frantically dialed in Dr. Chakwas, hitting several wrong buttons before dialing

them in correctly. "Doctor, there's been an accident!" "Are you alright, Jeffery? What happened?" "It's not me; it's Shepard! She's… I don't know. It's not good!" "Oh,

sweet Carl Sagan; I'm on my way!"

---

Shepard moaned and slowly lifted herself up onto her elbow. "Uh, I feel like I had a head butting contest with a krogan." Shepard jested. Joker sighed a breath of

relief and rubbed his temples. He had watched Shepard's progress the whole three days she was unconscious on bated breath. He wanted to be down on deck three

when she awakened but he doubted he was needed there more than he was needed at the helm. Besides, Boy Scout Alenko was probably a more comforting sight

than he was. His voice was tender, comforting and positively dripping with affection. All Joker could probably manage would be a smart ass remark, to which she would

roll her jade green eyes. He found himself gnashing his teeth when Kaidan reached out a hand to help her to her feet. "What the hell am I doing?" He thought as he

realized he was going to knock a tooth loose. Joker looked quizzically about to see if someone was watching him. He was alone, like usual. He looked back at the

screen. Boy Scout still had his hand held out. Shepard slightly surprised Joker by scooting away from Kaidan and getting up by herself. When she started to go down,

Kaidan rushed over and held her up. "Be careful; you've been out for three days. You're still weak. Please, let me help you." His tone cried out, "Love me, I'm a little

lost puppy"; it made Joker want to throw up. Shepard cast a soft look at Kaidan and let him pick her up like a damsel in distress. He laid her back down and sat down

on the bed with her. He reached out to hold her small yet strong hand. They let their clasped hands fall between Shepard's buxom breasts. Joker could hear Kaidan

sniffle lightly. "I'm so sorry, Commander. You could have died because of me! I don't think I could have lived with myself if you died protecting me." Commander

Shepard glared at Kaidan for a few seconds before gently replying, "It's not your fault, Kaidan. None of us knew what was going to happen. Besides, I would gladly

give my life to save anyone on this ship; you, the Captain…Joker." Joker's heart skipped a beat; she looked straight up at the camera as if she knew he was listening

in. "I just wish that I could have saved Nihilus and Jenkins." Shepard looked to their clasped hands and frowned. "He knew what he signed up for; you said so

yourself. We all face death in this line of work. Everyday could very well be our last but with you on our team I know we'll save more people than we'll lose. I have

complete faith in you, Commander."

Chapter 3: Recipe for Disaster

A petite quarian adjusted the breather on her beautiful purple and black environment suit. "Thanks, I don't know if I would have been able to excape those assassins

without you." Her voice reminded Shepard of an Israeli woman she trained with back at N7. "Please, your little grenades were quite impressive and you were giving

them a run for their credits before I even showed up." Shepard said modestly. "What did you think you were doing trusting Fist, anyway?" Kaidan queried. "I have

information that the Spectre Saren is a traitor conspiring with the geth. I thought Fist was going to help me get the information to the Shadow Broker…but that

bosh'tet lied." She said in a tense, mechanically enhanced voice. Shepard recalled vaguely that the geth, the artificial intelligence that had been developed by the

quarians, the same AI's that had invaded Eden Prime, had driven their creators from their home world. It saddened Shepard to think about how the quarians now had

no home to call their own and were forced to live within their environmental suits all their lives or risk a life threatening infection. "Let's take this to Udina and Captain

Anderson, see if it's viable." Shepard said and gestured the team to move out.

---

The aging human Ambassador had his back facing Shepard as she, Garrus, Kaidan and the quarian entered his office. "You're not making my life easy, Shepard." He

said and shook his head in annoyance. "Fire fights in the wards, an all-out assault in Chora's Den; do you know how many…" He stopped, catching the quarian in the

corner of his eye, "Who's this; a quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?" "This quarian can help us bring down Saren. I would have told you that if you hadn't jumped

down my throat." Shepard replied. He looked at her, still annoyed and said, "I apologize, Commander; this whole thing with Saren has put me on edge. Maybe we

should just start at the beginning, Miss?" He gestured towards the purple clad alien. "My name is Tali…Tali' Zorah nar Rhyaa." She said pleasantly. "We don't see many

quarians here; why did you leave the flotilla?" He inquired, mentioning the quarian base of operations. From what Shepard could recall from history class, the Migrant

Fleet was a huge fleet of several thousand ships made up old quarian and alien vessels that wandered the stars in search of patches for their ships, food and

supplies. "I was on my Pilgrimage; my right of passage into adulthood." Tali said. "Get to the point, what does that have to do with Saren?" Shepard cut her off. Tali

went on to explain how she followed a group of geth, found a solitary geth, deactivated it and took out its memory core. Captain Anderson looked befuddled at her

and retorted, "I thought that the geth fried their memory core if it was tampered with." Tali insisted that this was usually the case but she managed to get some data

off of it before that happened. She pulled out her omni tool, the eerie orange glow reflected off of the face shield on her helmet. "Eden Prime was a major victory; the

beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit." Captain Anderson perked up. "That's Saren's voice; this proves that he was involved in the attack!" he

said definitively. "One step closer to the Conduit… do you know what that means?" Shepard asked. "The Conduit has to have something to do with the beacon;

maybe it's some kind of prothean technology...like a weapon." Anderson said, though doubt clouded his voice. The quarian piped in, "Wait, there's more; Saren wasn't

working alone." She played the audio again, this time an unknown women's voice became audible. "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers." They all stared

at each other for a while. Udina spoke up, "I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about the Reapers." Shepard cocked her hip and looked thoughtfully at

the ground. "Why do I feel like I've heard that name before?" Tali stepped forward. "According to the data banks, the Reapers were a hyper advanced species that

existed fifty thousand years ago. The Reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction and then vanished…at least, that's what the geth believe." Udina looked

unconvinced. "That sounds a little far-fetched." "It doesn't to me. I think that's what my vision from Eden Prime was… the annihilation of the protheans; we have to tell

the Council!" Shepard said through clenched teeth. "The Council might not believe this…the whole Reaper deal, but I think you just might earn your Spectre title after

all." Anderson supposed with a defeated look about his worried face.

---

On their way back to the loading dock after speaking with the Council, they came across a large turian and a krogan. "Is that who you were looking for?" The light

ochre colored krogan asked the turian. The grey turian with lilac undertones scratched at his blue war paint and adjusted his visor. "It's nice to meet the first human

Spectre, Commander Shepard." He asked, extending his hand. "Yea, that's me. Weren't you the turian that was arguing with the turian Ambassador earlier?" Shepard

asked, shaking the turian's hand. "You can call me Garrus. That bastard wouldn't give me enough time to gather the evidence I needed to put down Saren; seems like

you did well enough on your own, though." He said, his mandibles clenching into a smile. "After it came down to C-Sec that you had enough evidence to convict him, I

was sent to come gather up this big guy over here." Garrus said, motioning to the krogan. "It's Urdnot Wrex." The krogan huffed. "What did he do?" Shepard asked,

eyeing the yellow krogan. The krogan rubbed his large, red plate that jutted from his head and sloped back slightly. "I was doing work for the Shadow Broker. It was

my job to kill Fist." "I wish you would have gotten to him earlier." Tali said with a sigh. "Regardless, C-Sec wanted me to interrogate him but I thought… to hell with

them. I'm not going to turn in the guy that got rid of Fist. I also decided to tell C-Sec to officially kiss my ass; I quit. You're going to need all the muscle you can get to

take down Saren; got room for two more, Spectre Shepard?" Garrus asked, his piercing blue eyes flashing with anticipation. "Welcome aboard, Garrus and Wrex."

Shepard smirked and headed into the elevator.

---

Kaidan and the Commander were the only people in the mess hall. They sat on opposite sides of the table with identical cups of steaming coffee. "I still can't believe

those assholes made Captain Anderson retire." Shepard spat through clenched teeth. "They went about it the wrong way but you needed a ship of your own and the

Normandy is the best in the Alliance Fleet." Kaidan said calmly. "Have you made any sense of that vision?" Kaidan asked in a tentative whisper. Shepard pursed her

dark lips and blew steam from the top of her cup before taking a sip. "Hardly. I see…blood, destruction and bodies." She said with a passive look. Kaidan swirled his

cup and took a swig as Joker limped into the mess hall. "Hey Kaidan. Oh, and the first human Spectre regales us with her presence!" He made a piss poor attempt at a

bow. "Hey, there's my ace pilot." Shepard said with a beaming smile. Joker blushed, gripped his crutches a little tighter and rested up against the counter. He went

about making himself a fresh pot of coffee. "That's me." He said, trying to mask the pride in his voice. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask something." Shepard looked up

at Kaidan with a bemused look. "Okay, shoot; I'm an open book, Kaidan." "You didn't go to Brain Camp, did you?" Shepard shook her head. "No, my biotic nodules

didn't activate until I was in my mid-twenties and by then Brain Camp had been disbanded. The Ascension program wasn't even on the drawing board yet, either."

Kaidan's amber eyes grew wide. "So, what happened when they activated? How did you manage to control them?" Shepard leaned back and clasped her hands

behind her head. "I was in the middle of the raid on Elysium." Kaidan gasped and leaned in. "I came across a batarian who had a pistol pointed at this little boy. He

couldn't have been more than eight. I felt… the most intense anger I've ever known. I didn't even take out my weapon, Lieutenant; I just charged fist first at him. All

the sudden, my arm was engulfed in biotic energy and it propelled me forward. When I connected…his head exploded. After I calmed down I turned to the kid and…he

looked at me like he looked at the batarian; nothing but fear was in his eyes. I tried to console him but he ran away…straight into another batarian. He…he didn't

make it." She leaned forward and set her head on the table. Kaidan reached over and tenderly set his palm on her head. "You still saved the colony, Shepard. You did

everything you could." Joker interjected, slightly turning. "His face has haunted me ever since…and it will haunt me until the day I die." Joker gulped at the confession

and hurriedly went about pouring water into coffee maker. Shepard raised her head up. Kaidan retracted his hand and placed it back on his cup. "Ever since that day,

I've dedicated myself to controlling my biotics. I've trained with every biotic I could find and practiced every day. I got suited up with the L3 implant eventually and that

helped tremendously." Kaidan nodded. "You got lucky, in a way, blossoming later in life. You might have been fitted with the L2 like I was. I'll tell you; the migraines

are a bitch." Shepard offered a comforting smile. "I get migraines sometimes but not as bad as you. I have some meditation techniques I could teach you, if you're

interested." "Thanks, Shepard; that'd be great." He said with a soft grin. Joker poured his coffee into his mug, flushing with annoyance. He made sure he was

strapped into his crutches then grabbed his cup and slowly limped towards the elevator. Shepard stood up, set her cup in the sink, walked over to Joker and lifted the

cup out of his hands. "Hey now; if you don't want a drowsy pilot, I'd suggest giving him back his caffeine fix." Joker said playfully. Shepard gave him a reproaching

frown. "I had to go up to the bridge anyway; might as well help my favorite pilot out, eh?" Joker frowned back and said defensively, "I've gotten my coffee on my own

all this time, Shepard. I think I can handle it." Shepard knitted her eyebrows together and pointed to the floor. Tiny droplets of coffee trailed from the counter to where

they were standing. Joker looked sideways; slightly ashamed of himself. "There's no shame in asking for help, Joker." "I…uh, did that on purpose… in case I need

another cup later. I can just hit the wet patch and slide to the counter; takes less time." He said, trying to save face. Shepard let out a boisterous laugh. "Come on, fly

boy." Joker limped on towards the elevator with Shepard following closely at his heel. Kaidan cast her a woe-be-gone look and got up. He side stepped the droplets

on his way to the counter. He fished a rag out of the sink and went about mopping up the spilled coffee.

---

Joker eased himself down in the pilot's chair and gazed up at Shepard as she bent over to set his coffee down, her full breasts swaying with the motion. Joker

swallowed hard as his eyes perused Shepard's delicate hand, veined forearm, bare shoulder and… "Don't look at her tits, don't look at her tits...and fuck, I'm looking at

her tits." Shepard rested her hand on Joker's shoulder as she straightened up. "Eyes up here, soldier." She muttered with a light and bemused tone. Joker gazed up,

trying to hide his blush with the brim of his hat. "I want you to know that I don't do things for you because I pity you." Shepard said in a hush and bent at the waist to

plant a small kiss on Joker's cheek. "I'd do anything for my crew…the cost is never too high." "Oh, does that mean I get a peek at those bad boys?" Joker smirked and

made it plainly clear that he was ogling her chest. "Hmm…maybe…if you're ever a good boy." She smirked. Joker carefully snapped his fingers and retorted. "Damn. I

don't see that happening anytime soon." Shepard laughed and bent down to face Joker. "Good night, Joker." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and went on her

way. Joker sat in wonder as he watched the Commander's hips wiggle out of sight. "What the…what the shit? I need to spill my coffee more often."

---

"Shepard; are you aware that you destroyed a dig sight that was over fifty thousand years old?" The thin, frog like salarian Councilmen said tartly, arms flailing.

"Blame the geth if you're going to blame anyone." Shepard said in an even tone, crossing her arms and cocking her hip. "And do you think that it's wise to bring

Matriarch Benezia's daughter aboard?" The dark blue asair Councilwoman inquired, touching her head. "I have no reason to believe that Liara is in cahoots with her

mother or the traitor Saren. The geth working for Saren would have killed her if we hadn't arrived when we did." Shepard replied, her patience thinning. The turian

councilmen stood silently in the hologram, his mandibles flaring. "Well we don't…" the salarian began to speak when Shepard clicked the hologram off, hanging up on

them. "Stupid frog looking bastard." Shepard said aloud bitterly and walked towards the med bay. She waved at Dr. Chakwas and rapped on Liara's door. Liara

muttered, "Come on in." Shepard tapped the panel to open the door and stepped into the small rom. Liara stood and fixed Shepard with a smile. "I must say ahead of

time that I have not been around humans before so I apologize in advanced if I say something weird." Liara said; her voice small and barely audible. Shepard stood

silently, taking in the unique looking alien. Asari reminded Shepard of some highly evolved aquatic creature. The cobalt blue tendrils on Liara's head were thick and

fleshy and laid against her head like slicked back hair. It vaguely reminded Shepard of a turian's fringe, only the tips of the asari's fringe were softer looking and

dipped down instead of jutting out. Her face was very human, besides the cobalt blue color and magenta freckles. Liara had large, full breasts; much like all asari. "Is it

human custom to stare?" Liara asked, breaking Shepard's thoughts. "I haven't seen many asari up close is all. Sorry." Shepard offered, blushing slightly. "Well, we'll

have plenty of time to get to know each other." Liara said with a warm smile. "Actually, I was wondering… you have prothean data stored in your mind…can you make

any sense of it?" Liara asked, twiddling her thumbs together. "Hardly." Shepard said shortly. "I can help you… here…" Liara placed her delicate hands to Shepard's

temples. Liara closed her indigo eyes for a second and opened them; they had turned to black, even the whites of her eyes. "Embrace eternity!" After a while of

silence and immobility, Liara blinked. Her eyes had gone back to their natural color. Liara slumped into her chair. "So…intense!" Liara panted. 'What did you see?"

Shepard asked, kneeling down to Liara's level. "It's…a broken message… it will take some time to make sense of it."

---

"You know Shepard…the Normandy isn't built to withstand molten sulfur…just a heads up." Joker mused aloud as Shepard came into the cockpit and sat down in the

co-pilot's seat. "Well, it's a good thing we have the best pilot in the Alliance then, isn't it?" She said with a grin. "You bet your sweet ass; if it was any other pilot we'd

be geth chow right now." Joker said with a cocked eyebrow. Shepard giggled. "Geth don't eat." "Shush woman; don't ruin the joke." Shepard gave Joker a faux

distressed look and brushed her knuckles against the scruff on Joker's face. "What would I do without you, Joker?" She asked, turning her hand to rest it on Joker's

face. Joker gulped and placed his hand over Shepard's. "I told you…geth chow."

Chapter 4:The Silent Sufferer

Shepard went down to the bottom floor of the Normandy to speak with the crew that was stationed down there. "Hey Commander, can we talk?" Ashley called out.

Shepard had always disliked the fact that Captain Anderson insisted that they take her with them. She was snotty, uppity and xenophobic beyond belief. The one time

Shepard took her on a mission after being given the ship, Ashley voiced her concerns about aliens. She was promptly sent back aboard and was told to send Kaidan in

her wake. Normally, Shepard wanted her crew to speak their mind but not while on a mission. "What is it you want, Ashley?" Shepard said sharply. "I just want to say

that I'm sorry for how I acted on Therum…" Shepard raised her hand, cutting Ashley off. "Don't want to hear it, Williams. You're lucky that Garrus was able to brush off

your nasty comment and focus on the job at hand." "I apologized, Commander." "Apologized to whom; him directly or just to me?" Ashley looked down at her feet. "I

thought so. If you can't handle being on a ship with aliens, say so now and I'll be sure to have Joker stop at the Citadel immediately." "That won't be necessary,

Commander." "Alright, then. Work on your people skills while you're benched." Shepard said and walked towards the elevator, tapping Garrus on the back as she

walked past. "You kicked ass today, Garrus." She said loudly. Garrus' mandibles flared and his fringe darkened slightly; a sign of embarrassment for turians. "I kick ass

every day, Shepard; it's nothing new." He said, his voice thick with subharmonics.

---

Shepard walked past the crew quarters when she heard a sharp intake of breath. She tapped the panel to open the door. Kaidan lay on one of the bottom bunks in

the fetal position, facing away from her. The lights were off and the music that usually played in the room was off as well. Kaidan was moaning softly. Shepard tapped

the panel on the inside to lock the door and shut out the light pouring into the cabin. "Kaidan; are you alright?" Shepard whispered. "No, ma 'me, I'm not; it's bad this

time." Shepard lightly walked over to him and sat down next to him. She reached out her hand and laid it on his side. "Sit up, Kaidan." She said is a hushed voice. He

obeyed, gingerly getting into a sitting position. "Now, turn towards me." She said, standing up. Again, he obeyed. His amber colored eyes were pained; his sclera

blood shot and his cheeks were damp with tears. "Back up to the wall." He obliged her, using his powerful arms to lift his weight and sit up against the wall behind

him. She sat back down and swung her legs onto the bed. She scooted up to him, the lower half of their bodies nearly touching. She placed her legs on over top of his

and let her feet rest of the bed. She reached out to his temples and gently massaged them with her thumbs. Kaidan closed his eyes and rested his head against the

wall. His pained whimpers slowly turned to quiet, relieved moans. "Keep your eyes closed, Lieutenant; it's about to get a little bright in here." Shepard said as she

removed her hands and rubbed them together; they glowed with a soft blue biotic light. She slowly worked her fingers into Kaidan's forehead and temples. "A biotic

massage; that's a new one." He whispered in a tortured tone. "It's a trick I learned from Ciara; my asari friend on the Epiphany." Kaidan smirked. "And you didn't invite

me?" He said cheekily. "She wasn't into men, Kaidan." She whispered her retort. He pouted, his full bottom lip jutting out. "Way to ruin the fantasy, Commander. I've

always wondered about the asari bonding sex ritual, though; it sounds…cool." "Oh, are there any intentions to woo Liara, Lieutenant?" She asked coyly. "None at all,

ma 'me. Liara is a sweet girl but I like my women tough…commanding…and human, honestly. I'm no xenophobe but I'm just not physically attracted to other species."

Shepard started to work her fingers into the soft dark waves of Kaidan's hair. "Commanding, hu? Have anyone in mind?" She asked. "Yea, actually; she's small but

packs a hell of a punch. She reminds me a bit of C4, almost. When she speaks it's like… an excellent guitar solo." Shepard had to bite her lip to prevent herself from

laughing. "A guitar solo, Kaidan?" "Yea, it reverberates into your soul and gives you goose bumps." He said, opening his eyes half way. "Her hair is the color of a

moonless night in the Canadian countryside and she has the most beautiful pair of jade green eyes I've ever seen. She always smells so good but no one can pin

point what the scent is. Oh, and the best part; her massages are top notch." Shepard turned her head away slightly, turning a deep crimson color. "Lieutenant…" she

whispered breathlessly, "she sounds like a babe." Kaidan chuckled. "She is. She might not know it…but she means a lot to me." Kaidan said, his tone going from

playful to serious. He took her wrists and set them on his chest. Shepard swallowed as she felt Kaidan's heart flutter beneath her fingertips. She slowly started to

work on his pectoral muscles. "Does she know how you feel about her, Alenko?" Shepard said in an even tone, feigning like she didn't know that he was talking about

her. She worked her hands from his chest down to his tone stomach. He moaned and raised his legs up slightly so that they were touching the bottom of her thighs.

She reached his hips and gently massaged his inner thighs. "I don't think I have her eye as much as our pilot does." Shepard hiccupped, causing Kaidan to laugh. "I'd

have to be blind as well as stupid not to see how you look at Joker but I want you to know that if he rejects you…I won't." Shepard casually looked down to where

her hands were and gulped at the sight of the bulge in Kaidan's pants. "You don't have to respond Shepard but you should definitely keep massaging me; it's

absolutely amazing." He said, closing his eyes again. "I can tell." She said, looking up to Kaidan's gorgeous face. "So, you think I smell good, hu?" "Yea, I've been

meaning to ask you; what perfume do you wear?" Shepard chuckled, "I don't wear perfume. My skin is too sensitive to use scented sprays, deodorants and

shampoos. I do, however, wash with a hypoallergenic bath wash that smells like cucumber and honeydew." Kaidan's eyes flew back open. "I knew it; Joker owes me

ten credits." Shepard stifled a laugh and eyed Kaidan tentatively. "You guys bet on me?" Kaidan nodded. "Well, sort of. I bet him ten credits that you wore something

with a cucumber and melon scent. His counter bet was that it was a 'girly flower'." Shepard scoffed. "Me, wear something girly? The horror, the scandal and the utter

shame!" Kaidan laughed aloud. "I bet there's a little girl in there somewhere, trying to get out." Shepard snickered at Kaidan's comment. "Well, she's going to have to

get passed all my manly muscles and frankly, I don't see that happening." Kaidan reached out and touched her face. "You are far from manly and besides; I don't

know any man that has to have a specially made breast plate." Shepard blushed. "I…don't know what you're talking about." Kaidan gave her a dubious look.

"Commander, please; don't insult my intelligence. Anyone with half decent eyesight can see that you couldn't fit those bad boys into a regulation breast plate if your

life depended on it." Shepard let out a laugh and had to stop massaging Kaidan to hold her aching sides. "Well, when we go to Feros tomorrow; you better keep your

eyes off my breast plate." Kaidan smirked. "I'll try, Commander... no promises, though."

---

"Okay, we just need to find this creature and determine what it…what?" Kaidan said as he, Shepard and Garrus gazed up to the drooling creature that resembled an

upside down pulsating heart. The tenticals hanging from what Shepard believed to be its mouth hung below it and dropping slime onto the ground. It hung above

them with tentacle like appendages that gripped the walls around it and suspended it. "We're going to need bigger guns." Shepard said with a smirk. The creature

made a noise similar to a toilet being unclogged and spat forth a pastel green asari between its drooling orifice. She stood, unaware or not caring about the slime

dripping from her. "Invaders, your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat; good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth

as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian; it commands that you be in awe." The green asari said in monotone. "You gave something to Saren,

something I need." Shepard said, placing her hand on her pistol. "Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in

a long cycle. Trades were made…then cold ones killed the flesh…flesh that was to aid in new growth. The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies and will listen no

more." "Just give me what I need and I'll strike back at Saren!" Shepard pleaded. "No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. You're lives are short but have

gone on too long! Your blood will feed the Old Growth!" The asari yelled and lobbed a biotic blast at Shepard.

---

Shepard blasted apart the remaining husks, the same human turned horrific beings she had encountered on Eden Prime. One last tentacle holding up the Thorian

remained. Shepard aimed her pistol at the thinnest area and shot at it until it snapped. The Thorian let out an unearthly howl and fell to its death in the pit beneath it.

Shepard, Garrus and Kaidan ran back down the stairs to where they first spoke with the asari to find a pulsing sac of yellow fluid on the wall, pulsating and wiggling. A

magenta colored asari burst forth from the capsule and landed on her feet shakily. "I'm free; I suppose I should thank you!" The asari said, brushing off globs of goo

from her skin tight red jump suit. "You look…oddly like that green asari that tried to kill us." Shepard said cautiously. "My name is Shiala and the asari you spoke to

was…a clone, I guess. I was given to the Thorian by Saren and Matriarch Benezia so Saren could receive something called the Cypher. It helps with understanding the

prothean way of life and the information the beacon gave him. Saren is…truly powerful. His will indoctrinated the Matriarch, myself and all that follow him. The worst

part is, that while on his ship, the indoctrination is far stronger than outside out it…it's troubling. The Matriarch hoped to lead Saren down a gentler path to his goals

but…in the end, his control over her became absolute." "I need that Cypher to stop Saren!" Shepard said, cutting off the asari's ramblings. "After becoming one with

the Thorian, its knowledge, the Cypher, became a part of me. I can give it to you if only you promise to stop Saren." Shiala pleaded. "I plan on doing more than that."

Shepard said darkly. "Relax, free your mind, release your physical shell and reach out to embrace eternity!" The now black eyed asari said as she clutched the

Commander's head.

Chapter 5: Because You're Mine

"Uh, that was… intense! Excuse me; I think I have to lie down for a bit." Liara said, clutching the slicked back tentacle like appendages on her head. "That's funny; I

didn't feel anything." Shepard said plainly. "You weren't doing the digging." Liara said with a pained voice before heading off to the elevator. "Crew, you're dismissed!"

Shepard said. Joker smiled at the screen; she had taken over Captain Anderson's position effortlessly. She was born to lead; to blaze a path towards the unknown

and to look stunning doing so. She stood still until everyone had cleared out of the comm room. Commander Shepard looked up at the intercom speakers. "I guess I

should fill the Council in. Go ahead and call them up, Joker." The Council popped up on the vid and immediately went on a tirade. "Spectre or not, it's neither funny not

wise to hang up on the Council." The turian Council member said in a low tone. Shepard dropped her head and flashed a mischievous smile. "Joker; if you would be so

kind." Joker took the hint and hung up. Commander Shepard grinned up at the camera and strutted out of the comm room. Joker stuck his knuckles into his mouth to

stifle a giggle. Kaidan took a seat and said, "You both enjoy that far too much." Joker clicked away at the console with a smirk. "Come on, you gotta admit; they ask

for it. They dismissed everything she said about Saren, question everything she does and yet she's the only one out there taking care of business. She deserves a

laugh at their expense if they're going to be pricks." He said, switching the camera feed to the galaxy map where Shepard now stood talking to XO Pressley. Kaidan

shook his head. "Looks like you're developing hero worship, Joker." Joker blushed and rubbed his neck, laughing nervously. "Please, that's your territory, man. I don't

break the Man Code's Golden Rule: don't go for your buddy's lady." Kaidan looked thoughtfully at the screen. "My lady…I wish." Joker turned to Kaidan with a quizzical

look on his unshaven face. "She doesn't want me, man. Some other lucky guy on this ship else has her eye." Kaidan said with a small frown. "Who?" Joker asked. "If

you have to ask…you haven't been paying attention."

---

"You have a little black rain cloud over your head, Alenko." Shepard said softly. Kaidan smirked and let out a little laugh. "I'll try to keep the deck dry. It's just…ever

since the accident at Brain Camp…I…shit." Kaidan fumbled with his hands and cast an unsure look at Shepard. "What happened, Kaidan?" "He…my teacher broke

Rahna's arm…and when I stood to defend her he pointed his knife at me…I lost it and kicked him with my full biotic force." "Well good; he deserved it." "Shepard…I

killed him." Shepard kept her face as straight as possible as she slowly continued. "By the way you've talked about, he was the cause of multiple deaths on Jump

Zero…I still believe that he deserved to die." Kaidan regarded Shepard with wide, glistening eyes. "Rahna would disagree with you…she never spoke to me again. She

looked at me that day like I was a monster…no better than Vyrnnus. She was so tender and loving… everyone at BAAT loved her…when he hurt her…I couldn't control

myself." Shepard pulled Kaidan into her arms and embraced him. "Is that why you're so composed today?" Kaidan nodded. "I swore I'd never lose it like that again... I

couldn't bare it if I did something and... and had you look at me the way Rahna did that day." He murmured and he buried his head in Shepard's neck. She pulled

Kaidan's face to meet hers. "You are no monster, Kaidan. What ever happened in your past made you the brave, strong and intelligent man I see before me

today...never forget that...never doubt that." She said sternly and gave Kaidan a tentative squeeze as she released him.

---

When Shepard reached Liara's room, she paused, unsure if she should bother her. She gently tapped the door. "Come in, Shepard." Liara said in a whisper. "Liara…

I'm sorry about your mother. Noveria didn't go how I had planned." Shepard offered. Liara gazed up with tears streaming down her face. "At least I got to speak with

her one last time…it had been so many years. I'm still surprised that you let the rachni queen go." Shepard shrugged. "I couldn't bring myself to cause yet another

species to become extinct." Shepard said lowly, recalling the Thorian on Feros. "Are you prepared to go to Virmire and finally stop Saren?" Liara asked after a few

seconds of silence. "I have a sickening feeling that this won't be the last time we see Saren." Shepard said and rubbed her neck.

---

The night crew was playing poker in the mess hall when Shepard slunk into the cock pit without a sound. Her night wear was far from Alliance protocol; a black satin

gown that barely grazed the middle of her thighs. She leaned up against a support beam and watched Joker's screen with a grin. "He's watching videos of me? Ha, who

knew?" She thought to herself, crossing her tattooed arms across her chest. "Damn, I look good on vids." She was about to approach Joker when she heard a noise

that stopped her dead in her tracks and made her forget how to speak. Joker looked back to see if anyone was behind him. He could see nothing but shadows and

heard nothing except the vid. He placed his hand on his hard member and began to rub gently. He let out a few coos before he unzipped his pants and unsheathed

himself. He grabbed the base of his length and slowly traveled up. He reached the tip and gave it several small strokes before going back down to the base. He stared

intensely at the vid through half lidded eyes and moaned Shepard's first name. "Nice and gentle... yea... just like that. Don't stop; I know the geth are coming…but I

need you right now, Hellion." His voice was barely a whisper but Shepard heard every word. "Joker…" Shepard whispered as she found her voice. Joker jumped and

went to tuck his length back in his pants but Shepard had already turned the chair fully around. "Don't move." Her voice was deep, guttural, and feral. The fear and

embarrassment would have shrunk any other man but Joker felt his length grow painfully against his already tight skin. "Commander, what are you…" Joker's words

were cut off by the Commander's impeccably soft lips. After a tense second, Joker melted beneath the impossibly sweet taste of Hellion. She pulled away and reached

over to the console. After a few clicks a song he didn't recognize started playing softly. "Who is that?" He asked in a whisper, touching her hips. The voice was

hauntingly beautiful and was thick with an accent Joker couldn't place. "I'll put a spell on you…" "He's a depressingly under-appreciated actor and singer from the

twentieth and twenty-first century." She nimbly straddled the arms of the seat as to not put any weight on his lap. Joker inhaled sharply; the Commander wasn't

wearing underwear. The Commander; the first human Spectre, the women who fought off a pirate gang of batarians on Elysium, whom stared down an indoctrinated

asari Matriarch with a wild grin, whom freed the queen of the rachni, whom faced hoards of geth and husks to save the colony on Feros… that women, that goddess

among mortals, was splayed out in front of him. He scanned the delicate, swirling tribal designs spanning from her clavicles to her wrists. He looked down and saw

similar designs running under her gown and down to her ankles. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his with a passion he had never known. The auburn scruff

on his face tickled but was surprisingly soft. She slipped her hungry tongue inside his mouth and found his desperately searching for hers. Their tongues waltzed

graciously inside their mouths; the soundtrack was their joined moans of longing and the powerful voice of a singer long gone. "You know, this is against more

regulations than I can count…" He said softly. "You better stop the things you do…" "Do you want me to stop, Joker? You didn't seem to want fantasy Shepard to."

Joker chuckled and ran his long, delicate fingers along her sides. "You got me there…please stay. I have to ask, though… why did you come down here dressed

like…that?" She cast a mischievous smile. "I couldn't sleep and I know you're up until all hours of the night. I figured I would talk to you. This…" tugging on her gown,

"is just what I usually sleep in. I came here with perfectly pure intentions, I assure you." "Uh hu…Just like I had perfectly pure intentions with fantasy Shepard.

Although…I got to admit; this is a lot hotter than what I had in mind." Joker murmured with a half grin. Shepard nipped Joker's lips as she grabbed the head rest of the

chair with one hand and reached down to Jokers lap with the other. He gasped when she made contact and reflexively squeezed her hips. She gently stroked at his

member then moved the head about her hairless, perfectly symmetrical nether lips; they were already wet with anticipation. "Is this really happening or is this a

wonderful dream?" He thought blissfully, hoping he wouldn't wake up if it was a dream. Shepard slowly lowered herself onto the pilots hard on with quivering thighs

and arms. Goose bumps erupted over the Commanders pale skin as Joker's head penetrated her. "Joker… I've waited so long for this…for you." She whispered into his

ear. She crept down his length until her bare bottom barely nestled against Jokers lap. She cried out, feeling all of him fill her entirely. Slowly she rose and dropped

back down, never putting any weight directly on him. Joker tilted his head back and looked down at their union. "So beautiful… Hellion, I love you…" Joker moaned,

turning his attention back to her ethereal pale green eyes. "I ain't lyin'…" Joker took a sharp intake of breath as he processed what he just said. Shepard gave him

an unreadable look before leaning in and kissing him deeply. He ran his hands from her hips to the gown straps and slid them off. He then pulled the front down just

enough to reveal Shepard's bosom. Her large, abnormally perky breasts swelled with her soft moans. "I put a spell on you because you're mine…because

you're…'cause you're mine…" Joker nibbled lightly at her nipple and pinched the one that wasn't in his mouth. It didn't take long before he felt the heat rushing

through him. "God, Shepard; I don't think I can hold it back much longer." He moaned into her chest, feeling ashamed that he probably couldn't last through the song.

"I don't…want you to hold back. We'll come together." She whispered breathlessly, picking up her pace. "I don't care if you don't want me; I'm yours right now. I

put a spell on you…" Joker felt the Commander's walls crash around his length. "Come with me, Joker." She whimpered into Joker's neck. "Hellion!" Joker pulled her in

close as they reached blinding climax together. "Because you're mine…" Her toned body shuddered up against his chest and he could feel his toes curling in his

boots. Shepard collapsed, resting her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. He could feel her weight on his chest start to bruise him but he didn't

care; he had the Commander. After a while of silence, Shepard looked up into Jokers ever green eyes. He was absentmindedly stroking the stubble on her head when

she finally spoke. "Did you mean what you said, Jeffery? Do you really love me?" Joker froze. "Yes. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I

think about before I fall asleep. You're the person I can't stop dreaming about. Hell, I haven't whacked it to anyone other than you since you've been aboard. I get tight

chested when you're ashore and I don't know where you are. I…I'm in love with Commander Hellion Shepard." He knew he should have said at least part of what he was

thinking but his voice decided to jump ship."I understand…heat of the moment and all that." With a heart breaking look, Shepard stood up, fixed her gown and went

off towards the elevator. "It wasn't just the heat of the moment…Shepard… you deserve someone better...like Kaidan. I could never give you…" Joker let out a pained

sigh. "You deserve the best." He could only whisper; his heart lodged in his throat. "Shit shit shit, what the shit did I just say?" She gave him a sideways look and a

halfhearted grin. "You are the best, remember?" Tears welled in her eyes as she turned and quickly departed. Joker tucked his member back into his pants and turned

to face the console. "Damn, Joker. You suck, you know that?" "Because you're mine…" He grumpily grabbed his hat and placed it back on his head. He glared at the

singer on the vid until the song faded into static.

Chapter 6:The End is Nigh

"This isn't right, Shepard!" Wrex snorted, kicking sand away from his feet. "If there's a cure for the genophage…we can't destroy it!" "I doubt that this is a cure at all.

These krogan are brainless, merciless clones, created by Saren to do his bidding! I understand that you're upset but Saren is the enemy; he's the one you should be

angry with!" Shepard said angrily. "Really; Saren created a cure for my people's infertility and you want to destroy it…the line between friend and foe is getting real

blurry from where I'm standing." Shepard sighed, throwing her hands in the air. "It's not a cure, it's a weapon and if Saren is allowed to use it, none of us will be

around to reap the benefits, not even you!" "That's a chance I'm willing to take to save my people. If you can't give me a better reason than that then I'm done talking

to you." Wrex said and quickly drew his shotgun, pointing it at Shepard's head. She withdrew her pistol and aimed it at Wrex. Kaidan rushed over with his gun drawn.

"Wrex, these krogan are not your people; they're slaves to Saren! Tools! Is that what you want for them?" Shepard spat, waving Kaidan away with her free hand.

Wrex stood silently, not lowering his weapon. "Shit…no. We were tools for the Council to wipe out the rachni and they neutered us as a reward. I doubt Saren will be

as generous." Wrex lowered his gun and Shepard followed suit. "Alright Shepard, you've made your point. I don't like this but I trust you enough to follow your lead.

Just one thing, when we find Saren… I want to put a bullet in his head."

---

"Commander; you have to get out of here!" Ashley shouted, the sound of gun fire threatening to drown her out. "I can save you both; just hold on, Williams!"

Shepard shouted into her communicator. "Negative, Commander; save LT Alenko!" The pained voice of Kaidan interrupted. "You have to save Ashley, Commander! The

bomb is set to blow; you have to go while you still have a chance!" Commander Shepard let out a battle cry. "Damn it! Kaidan, I'll be right there! Hold on, Ash! I will

save you; I promise! Just… just hold on, soldier!" "Commander, don't you dare!" Kaidan shouted. There was static for a while before Joker could hear Kaidan shouting.

"Damn it, Hellion! What do you think you're doing?" "I'm saving your ass and making sure this bomb goes off, Lieutenant! Joker, pick us…"

---

"Gah, why aren't there any feeds in this area?!" Joker shouted at the console. He could hear Saren talk a bunch of nonsense through Shepard's communicator and the

eventual sound of unrelenting gun fire and biotic pulses being thrown around. "Shepard come in, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OKAY!" He screamed, panicking. After a

few seconds of silence he could hear the sound of water, splashing and grunting. "Put your arms around me, Kaidan." Kaidan yelped as the Commander lifted him off

the ground. "Joker, pick us up! We have to hurry; we have to save Ashley!" Joker spun the Normandy around and flew as fast as the drive core could handle. He set

the Normandy down on the landing zone and opened the airlocks, overriding the decontamination protocols. Shepard ran in with Kaidan over her shoulder, Garrus,

Wrex and Liara followed closely behind. Commander Shepard set Alenko down in the co-pilot seat and gripped Jokers shoulder hard. "Come on, Ashley is in trouble!"

She yelled. "Commander, we have to go now; the bomb..." Liara said quietly. "I'm the Commander, not you! We still have time! Joker…" She looked down at him; a

mixture of blood and mud caked each side of her gaunt face. She was still so stunningly beautiful, despite the look of absolute terror and panic buried behind her

eyes. "Hellion…we have to go." Joker whispered, reaching out to touch her hand. "No!" She screamed, pulling her hand away. "We can't just leave her here; I

promised I'd get her!" Shepard turned to run out of the airlock but Garrus caught her by the arm and pulled her in, pinning her arms to her sides. "Close the door,

Joker. Let's get out of here." Garrus said, his mandibles twitching as the Commander attempted and failed to wiggle free of the turian's vice grip. "Let me go, Garrus!"

Shepard yelled as Joker closed the airlock and sped towards the atmosphere of Virmire. "You did the right thing, Commander." were Ashley's last words. "ASHLEY!"

Commander Shepard wailed. The blast sent a shockwave that caused a small disturbance on the Normandy, jarring everyone on board. Shepard's jade green eyes

were wide and blank as she stared at the vid of the krogan cloning facility exploding into a fiery inferno. She put her head down and made a choking noise. The crew

in the cock pit turned in horror as the Commander started laughing. She threw her head up and stared at Joker with bloodshot eyes. If truth be told, it didn't seem like

she was looking at him but through him. "Shepard…" Joker started but was cut short by a blood curdling sight. A biotic field covered her and Garrus and they started to

rise up off the floor all the while Shepard laughed. Things that weren't bolted down started to rise up, one of them being Joker's hat. Kaidan gripped the co-pilot seat

but started to lift off of it. Liara was back far enough to not get caught in the mass effect field. Joker felt himself start to lift up off the seat when he heard someone

approaching. "I think that's quite enough of that, Shepard." Dr. Chakwas appeared out of nowhere with a syringe and plunged it into Shepard's forearm. Within a

matter of milliseconds the biotic field evaporated and everything fell to the ground. Garrus managed to catch himself and Shepard, whom he sat down on the floor.

Shepard lightly giggled as she lazily grabbed for Joker's hat and held it tight to her chest. Hot tears streamed down her blotchy cheeks, causing the blood and mud

mixture to loosen and run. "I killed her, Joker…little Ashley bits everywhere…and she said I 'did the right thing'…stupid bitch." Shepard said before she passed out from

the sedative with Joker's hat still clutched in her hands. "Oh Spirits… Shepard." Garrus knelt down beside her and hugged her. "Garrus, if you could be so kind as to

get her to the med bay, I would appreciate it." "I got her, doctor. Go ahead and get ready." Garrus lifted the unconscious Commander. He turned towards Joker.

"Want to take your hat back?" He asked quietly. "N-No, let her hold onto it." With that, Garrus sprinted after the doctor. Kaidan, Liara and Joker stared at the spot

where Shepard had been for some time, shocked. "Kaidan, we should get you to the medical bay and get that leg looked at; can you walk?" Liara asked attentively.

"Y-yea." Was all Kaidan could muster. He stood shakily and walked out of the cockpit with Liara. Liara paused for a second and turned to Joker. "I'm fine, Liara. I might

have a bruised ass but I'll live." He said in a hushed voice, not looking directly at her. Wrex scratched the three large scars on his face and went silently out of the cock

pit.

---

Joker couldn't shake what he just witnessed from his mind. Commander Hellion Shepard, the immovable center of the Normandy, just cracked. He hacked into the med

bay's camera to see Garrus and Dr. Chakwas hovering over the still form of the Commander. Garrus gently took Joker's hat from her and set it on the table next to

him. She moaned and started to fidget. "Joker…we can still save her." Joker felt tears well up in his eyes as the Commander spoke in her stupor but suppressed them.

"We can…save her. We can save them all..." Dr. Chakwas reached over Shepard to the syringe on the table and gave her more of the sedative. The Commander went

silent and the doctor went about setting up an IV. "I can take it from here, Garrus." She said comfortingly. "Let me know if you need anything, doctor." Garrus gave

Shepard a look Joker could only assume was sorrow as we walked out. Liara stood awkwardly in the corner before departing with a sob. Dr. Chakwas quickly pulled

off Shepard's armor, leaving her in her black boxers and bra. Joker gulped and paused the feed. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. Maybe it was the

light in the med bay that made her non-tattooed skin as white as the sheet she laid on. Maybe it was the contrast of black small clothes and black tribal markings

against the sterile white bed sheets. Joker clicked the vid to catch up to real time. Kaidan hobbled over to the Commander, grabbed a rag from the basin of water next

to her and padded away the muck on her face. "You saved me again…" Kaidan sniffled and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. Dr. Chakwas set a hand on Kaidan.

"Are you alright?" He nodded and caressed Shepard's face. "I'd just like to stay here for a while and…keep an eye on her." Dr. Chakwas squeezed his shoulder.

"Alright; she should be fine for a while. I'll leave you alone. Come get me if she awakens and starts making things float again. The cot over there is clean if you need

to rest." Dr. Chakwas squeezed his shoulder again and walked out. Kaidan ran his hand over her shaved head. "Why did you save me again?" He asked the

unresponsive Commander, wringing out the rag in the sink and dipping it back into the basin. Shepard stirred. "Damn, she is fighting that sedative like it's a damn

rachni!" Joker thought ass he opened her eyes, although barely, and crinkled her face in confusion. "J…Joker?" Joker caught his breath. "It's Kaidan, Shepard…" he

paused, stroking Shepard's cheek. "It was hard seeing you like that. You take on the galaxy and hold so much in for the sake of the crew's morale…that's one thing

that I lo…appreciate about you. You act like you have no one to confide in. But let me tell you…you have me…all of me." Shepard opened her eyes fully and gave

Kaidan a melancholy look as he finished wiping off her face and gave the rag a small biotic toss to the disposal bin in the corner. "I'll always be here for you and I…"

He let out a chuckle and curled up next to her on the cot. He draped his arm around her and whispered, "I love you." "Kaidan..." She mumbled, falling back asleep.

Kaidan nuzzled his tan face into the back of Shepard's shaved head and fell asleep next to her. Joker's stomach knotted up and threatened to propel his dinner

upwards.

---

After about an hour Shepard stirred. "Joke…Joker's hat…" she said feebly. A lump formed in Joker's throat. Kaidan reached over to Joker's hat and tucked it under her

arm. She rolled over, curled up against Kaidan in the fetal position and hugged the hat. "Gotta…gotta give Joker…hat. Can't fly…without hat." Kaidan chuckled and ran

his knuckles alongside her scrunched face. "It's okay, Shepard; Joker said that you could hold onto it for a while." He whispered softly to her. "No… have to…save

Joker…he needs me…" She fell back to sleep, clutching to Joker's hat for dear life. Joker couldn't hold back the tears as he let out a pained sigh and touched the

screen. "Always."

---

The next day the crew congregated in the debriefing room, looking anxiously up at the placid Commander. She hadn't said a word for five minutes, just stared at her

feet. "Would someone like to say something…about Ashley?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper. Wrex cleared his throat. "She might have been a

xenophobe but she was a tough little pyjak; she head butted me once!" Everyone but Shepard laughed at the excitable look on Wrex's face. "She tried to give me

sniping lessons one time… I showed her up; not like she would ever admit it though. She said her gun had jammed." Garrus added with a laugh. "I have something to

say." Kaidan said with a rough tone and stood up. Shepard gave him a weary look. "Why me, Commander? I told you to save Ashley and you…" The Commander ran

up to Kaidan and got her face as close to his as she could given the fact that she was almost a full foot shorter. "Can it, Staff Lieutenant!" She growled, her voice

making her sound larger than life. "If I could have saved you both, I would have. The fact of the matter is…" "I think that this is a conversation to be held in private."

Liara piped in, her blue face darkening to a blush. Commander Shepard, still standing on her tip toes, cast a glance in the crew's direction. After a breathless few

seconds, she lowered herself. "You can all have a twenty four hours shore leave. Joker, what's the ETA for the Citadel?" "ETA is half an hour, ma 'me." He spoke

quickly. "Staff Lieutenant Alenko! You will report to my cabin in exactly twenty four hundred hours. Is…that…understood?" Shepard snarled. "Aye, aye ma 'me." Kaidan

said quietly. Shepard stormed away and headed towards the cock pit. Joker turned to greet her but couldn't find any words to say. He just stared up at her. The hard

look on her face melted and she looked down at her boots. She reached into the pocket of her baggy black sweat pants and pulled out Joker's hat. She slowly walked

up to him, the hat outstretched. When he didn't take it, she lowered her hand. She crept closer and bent her knees slightly so that she was nearly face level, though

she didn't look up at him. She was so close that Joker swore he smelled her tooth paste over her intoxicating aroma. He parted his lips and emitted a soft sigh. "Shit, I

still have to pay Kaidan for that stupid bet." Shepard blushed, reached up, sat his hat on his head and adjusted it. She put her hands on the arm rests to push herself

back to a standing position. Joker reached up and touched her quivering chin. "Thank you…and I'm sorry…" He started but Shepard stood abruptly and practically fled

from the cock pit. He caught just enough of a glimpse of her to see that her eyes were bloodshot.

---

Joker hobbled around the Citadel until he found Galaxy Treasures, a small jewelry store tucked in the corner of the human embassies. He looked about; making sure no

one from the Normandy was around before limping in. The bright lights bounced off of the blindingly white walls and display cases. A well-endowed lilac colored asari

Matriarch smiled up at him and walked around the kiosk to greet him. "Hello, sir. My name is Morgana; stone cutter, fine metal smith and proprietor of Galaxy Treasures.

How may I be of service?" Her voice was bright and pleasant. "Not as pleasant as those out of this world breasts, that's for sure." Joker thought, suppressing a grin.

"Uh…well, I…I'm not sure what I should get." The violet eyed asari placed her tiny hand on the small of Joker's back. "If you'll allow me, I'd like to see who this gift will

be for." "Well, it's supposed to be a surprise…" The asari raised her other hand and waved him off. "You misunderstand, sir." She stood directly in front of him and held

his shoulders. She closed her eyes for a second, whispered, "Calm your mind, relax your body and embrace eternity," and reopened them. Her sclera and iris were a

midnight shade of black. She stared at Joker for a full minute, not moving or speaking. She eventually blinked and her eyes went back to normal. "I'll never get used to

that." Joker thought. "She seems to be a very near and dear woman to you. She is quite beautiful as well. If things don't work out between you two…well, send her

here. I wouldn't mind her being my bond mate." She said playfully, causing Joker to blush deeply. The asari raised her hand and gestured towards the back. There

was a single black display case in the far back to the left with a small piece of black satin laid on top of it. The asari removed the cloth and set it on the display next to

her. "These pieces are heirlooms from different races and as such I have had no hand in making these works of art. I recognized the markings on your mate; it's

based off of ancient human cave drawings. This ring," She said as she pointed her manicured finger to the center of the display, "utilizes that form." The ring was silver

and had lovely swirling patterns all around the band. "Wow…that's…damn, you're good!" Joker mused aloud. The asari bowed. "I've been in this business for over five

centuries, sir. I wouldn't still be in business if I was anything but good." She said with a smile. Joker stared at the delicate ring for a while. "Alright, it's flawless; how

many credits am I looking at?" He said after a pause. "One hundred thousand credits for anyone else but," she leaned in so close that Joker could feel his lips brush

up against his ear, "Commander Shepard saved my daughter, Shiala, on Feros. I'd like you to take this as a token of my eternal gratitude. Make things right with her,

Jeffery." She pulled back and smiled coyly. Joker felt his jaw slacken in disbelief. "I…I can do that." She unlocked the display and picked up the ring. "Now, if you'll come

with me, we'll help you pick out a box." "That won't be necessary." He said. She gave him a confused look but digressed, handing him the ring. He took off his hat with

his free hand. Flipping it over, there was a small patch on the inside of it. He stuck the ring inside the patch and tightened a loose thread hanging off of it; sealing it

within his hat. He placed it back on his head. The asari laughed; the sound was reminiscent of a wind chime on a windy day. "I'll never understand humans for as long

as I live." She said, still giggling. "We don't even understand our selves, lady."

---

Joker looked around him to see if he was alone. After confirming that he was, he quickly hacked into the Commander's cabin camera to, hopefully, catch a good old

fashion tongue lashing. "I'm sorry, Commander. I just…I'm just distraught and I couldn't get an answer out of you the day before…" "Stow…it." Venom dripped from

her words. "You want to know why I saved you, Alenko?" Joker suddenly found it impossible to swallow. "I saved you first because you were closer and because I

thought we had enough time to save Ash. I…I couldn't just run the opposite way knowing you were right there, mere feet away. Ashley died a hero and she knew, like

you do, that you're a higher ranking officer and it says right in Alliance protocols that if it comes down to it that the lower ranking officer is… is expendable. And…and

like Wrex said, she was painfully xenophobic. I couldn't sacrifice you, someone so loving and accepting, for someone who even had a hard time getting along with

someone like Liara. Liara; the galaxy's biggest ball of blue fluffy sweetness! It wouldn't be fair to our alien crew members if I had saved her instead of you. It had to

be you." "Shepard…" Kaidan said, pushing her up against a wall. "Lieutenant…" He pressed his lips against hers, silencing her. He pulled her close to him and held her

tightly. She put her hands on his chest and made a motion to push him away but eventually let her arms fall to her sides. "You saved my life yet again. Thank you…and

I… I love you, Commander. Call it hero worship if you will but I don't know what I'd do without you." He gently held her face and stared deeply into her jade colored

eyes. "Please, don't say it. I'm begging you…" Joker pleaded in his mind. Shepard didn't reply, just hung her head. Kaidan walked over to Shepard's extranet console

and pushed a few buttons. A voice Joker recognized started singing. "Anyone who had a heart could look at me and know that I love you..." Kaidan walked back

over to Shepard and gently took her hands. He placed one on his shoulder and held up the other. He wrapped his free hand around her waist and they started to

slow dance. "Lieutenant, this isn't the time…" "There's always time to dance to the oldies, Shepard." Shepard shrugged, laid her head on Kaidan's chest and closed

her eyes. Joker choked and fought back a wave of tears. Was it the gorgeous rendition of the old song or was it that Shepard seemed to forget about the galaxy

while she danced with the sure footed Lieutenant? Joker clenched his jaw watching how effortlessly they moved about Shepard's room. "Without you I'd die, dear.

Knowing I love you so…" Dr. Chakwas slowly walked up to Joker and laid her hand on his shoulder. He didn't even care who saw him like this at the moment. He

was hurt and wished he wasn't a broken down excuse for a man that couldn't even dance with the women he loved."Does she know how you feel, Jeffery?" "You

couldn't really have a heart and hurt me like you hurt me and be so untrue. What am I to do?" He hiccuped trying to stifle a sob. "That damn song is making it

worse!" "I told her that I loved her…and then I…I told her she deserved better and…well, I guess she found him." Shepard lifted her head and looked towards the

camera with the same heartbroken look she had given Joker that fateful night. He slammed his thumb into the button that cut the video feed and felt his thumb

fracture. "The look on her face tells a different story." Dr. Chakwas said plainly, eyeing Joker with a cautious expression. Joker looked up at her, not bothering to fight

the tears anymore. "What?" "I didn't spend all those years in medical school and not learn a thing or two about body language and facial expressions. Now, let's go

take care of your thumb, Jeffery." She bent over and grabbed Joker's crutches from the floor. "A walk would do you some good."

Chapter 7:Taking Care of Business

Shepard slumped to the floor next to the lockers and rested her elbows on her knees. Kaidan leaned on the wall next to her and crossed his arms. "I could really use

some of your bubbly optimism right about now." Kaidan scoffed and walked in front of Shepard. "If you want that, you might want to talk with Liara. If we can't get off

of the Citadel…well, we might as well learn to tuck, roll and kiss our asses goodbye." Shepard grinned and cocked an eyebrow at Kaidan. "It's seriously not that

difficult…just say 'everything's going to be alright'." Kaidan laughed and rubbed his neck. "Okay, fine… Everything's going to be alright." "There…was that so hard?"

Kaidan smirked and reached his hand down to Shepard. As Shepard stood, Kaidan roughly pulled her to him. She gasped as Kaidan's nose touched hers. Kaidan's

eyes scanned Shepard's face and his breath quickened as his eyes lingered on Shepard's lips. Shepard bit her lower lip and leaned in. Joker, who had been observing,

quickly activated the intercom. "Commander, Anderson wants to see you at Flux." Shepard jumped at the unexpected interruption. She cast a dirty look to the speaker

above her head. Kaidan laughed and touched Shepard's chin, bringing her attention back to him. He pushed her up against the lockers gently and engulfed her mouth

with his. Kaidan pressed his leg in Shepard's junction as he deepened their kiss with his tongue. He devoured the moan that ebbed from her throat and grinned at the

growing heat he felt on his thigh. They parted with a small pop and laughed at the trail of saliva that held them together at the lips. Kaidan wiped it away and

gestured to the airlock. "Shall we?" After they left, Joker bit down on his tongue so hard that it drew blood.

---

Shepard hadn't really talked to Joker since that night. She gave him brief, impersonal orders, of course, but she hadn't sat down in the co-pilot chair and just bullshit

like they used to. Joker missed the special one on one time they used to have but couldn't bring himself to talk to her…about anything, let alone have a heart to heart

about the night they had sex or the night Ashley died. Now they were grounded on the Citadel and he felt that he was sitting around waiting to die. "Joker?" Shepard

said in a low voice. "Yes, Commander?" He couldn't even bare to look her in the eyes anymore for longer than a few seconds. "Fucking pussy." "How would you like to

steal the Normandy, stop Saren from reaching the Conduit and save the galaxy?" Joker swung his chair around and managed to peek at her under the brim of his hat.

"Seriously; steal a multimillion credit vessel, travel to the uncharted planet Ilos, stop Saren and possibly save the galaxy or face a court martial from hell?" He forced

himself to meet her gaze. A vision of Kaidan kissing her clouded his vision and soured his face momentarily. As if she thought the sour look was for her, Shepard

added, "If it makes you feel better…Anderson is in on it. And look, I won't order you to do this but know that I couldn't do it without you." "Commander…" He smirked

and spun his chair back around. "You had me at 'couldn't do it without you'. The problem is that we're on lock down, look," He said, pointing at the large, red sphere

on the console indicating that the ship was offline, "how do you suppose we deal with that?" Shepard smiled. "Like I said, Anderson is in on it."

---

Captain Anderson stood outside of Udina's office, wiping the sweat off of his brow. He tapped the panel and went straight up to Udina's desk, where the aging

Ambassador sat bewildered. "What do you think you're…?" Captain Anderson threw a punch and knocked Udina out cold in his chair. Anderson pushed the chair away

and hacked into his computer terminal, unlocking the Normandy.

---

The red orb blinked on and off a few times before turning green. "Way to go, Anderson!" Joker hollered. "Let's get this bastard." Shepard said. "Setting coordinates to

Ilos, Commander." Shepard smirked and rested her hand on Joker's shoulder. Joker met Shepard's bright eyes, causing them to both blush. Shepard quickly removed

her hand and left without another word.

---

"ETA is in two hours, Shepard." Joker said in a soft voice over the intercom. She nodded and went towards the elevator. Joker looked longingly at the screen for some

time until he saw Kaidan come into view. He pressed the top button on the elevator pad and glanced around before stepping in. Joker reached for the console to hack

the Commander's camera but hesitated. "Come on, Joker; do you really want to see what you know is about to happen?" He thought on it for about a second before he

clicked at the console. She was sitting on her couch in the satin gown she wore that one night…their night. She held up her data pad and touched it delicately. Joker

put his thumb and fore finger on the data pad and spread his fingers, enlarging the image. His jaw dropped; it was the picture of him. "She must have found that

somewhere on the extranet." She fingered it so tenderly as if she could break the data pad if she touched too roughly. Joker heard Kaidan knocking but it seemed to

take Shepard a few knocks before it even registered that there was anything else in the universe but her and the data pad. She gave the pad a forlorn look before

kissing it and tucking it under her pillow. She tapped the door panel and it slid open. Kaidan grabbed her and lifted her up. "I couldn't go to Iios without telling

you…well, you already know I love you… I have to have you, Hellion. This could be our last day alive and…I want to show you how much you mean to me." Kaidan said

in a hushed growl. Hellion held his face and seemed wracked with indecision. "But…Joker…" "He told you that you deserved better; he let down the galaxy's most

beautiful woman. If he wanted you, if he cared for you at all, he would be here. He would have apologized and I'd be getting pummeled by a crutch or by your fists

right now." Joker's eyes grew wide. "She told him?" Joker thought as he clenched his teeth. Kaidan set Shepard down and went over to her private terminal and

clicked several times. "I put a spell on you… because you're mine…" Joker gagged. "Don't…let him play that…our song…please!" Shepard rushed over and clicked it

off. "Uh…please, not that song, Kaidan." Joker bit his lower lip and rubbed at his eyes. "Oh for the love of Richard Dawkins, thank you." Kaidan gave her a weird look,

raised up his hands and backed up a bit. Shepard scrolled down a bit and pressed the play button. "Hot town, summer in the city, back of my neck getting dirty

and gritty…" Kaidan smirked and wrapped Shepard in his powerful arms. "You make me feel…human." He whispered and kissed her gently." I'd be worried if I made

you feel like an elcor or, Sagan forbid, a volus." She joked but the tone in her voice was lack luster. Kaidan didn't seem to notice as he just smiled and lifted her up, to

which she wrapped her legs around Kaidan's waist. He carefully walked to the enormous luminescent fish tank and rested Shepard's rippling back against the cool

glass. "All around, people looking half dead. Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head…" Kaidan flashed bioticly for a split second; his pants and

boxers fell to the floor and Shepard's gown flew across the room. Joker reached down and rubbed his knuckles into his stiffening member. Kaidan probed under the

Commander's gown until he acquired his target; the Commander yelped. "Nope…all human…and all man." Her legs visibly shook as Kaidan began his furious assault.

White knuckled, Hellion gripped at Kaidan's shirt and gasped at each powerful thrust. She closed her beautiful eyes as Kaidan dug his fingers into her obliques. "It's a

pity that the days can't be like the nights…" Joker shut his eyes tight and listened to the sounds Hellion made as he continued to run his hand along the bulge in

his pants. Kaidan stepped back, shaking his clothes off of his ankles and walked over to Shepard's bed. "In the summer…" He bent his knees against the edge of

the bed. "In the city…" Kaidan plopped her down on the bed and hovered above her. "In the summer…" His biceps bulged as he drooped down to kiss her. "In

the city. In the summer, in the city. In the summer, in the city. In the summer…" Kaidan timed his dive back into the Commander with the beautiful and

sustained "summer"; Shepard all but screamed in ecstasy. Kaidan stayed still until the drums of the song kicked back in, after which he rhythmically gyrated his hips

to the beat in perfect time. "Oh god; I'm coming!" She cried out. "Me too, baby." Joker released in his pants at the same time that Kaidan was emptying himself into

Shepard's womb.

---

After the two of them cleaned up in the shower, Kaidan left the Captain's cabin with a smug look of victory on his face. Shepard crept over to her gown and knelt down

beside it. She picked it up and buried her face into it. "Oh Joker, I'm so sorry; what have I done?!" She wailed into her gown. Joker looked down at the wet spot

forming on his pants from laying on the copious amount of ejaculate that clung to his leg. "Don't be… I did this to you." Shepard, still naked, dropped the gown and

clumsily made it back to her bed. She reached under her pillow, grabbed the data pad and turned to lie on her side. Joker got an amazing view of her back side and

was surprised to see a large set of detailed wings tattooed on her back that stretched from the top of her shoulders to the top of her perfectly round bottom. One

was white and feathered while the other was dark enough to look black but still have enough grey in it to show the pain staking intricacy of what Joker assumed was

a dragon wing. In between her shoulder blades and wings was a Tree of Life; animals that Joker couldn't decipher made of the trunk and, upon zooming in, the leaves

and branches as well. In the two or so inches below the tree, hiding in the ground, were extinct animals; the dodo, the Bengal tiger, a dingo and several others he

didn't know off hand. "I'm going to get ready now; I still have to clean my pistol." Joker perked up to the sound of Kaidan's voice coming from the map room. He was

about to turn off the feed until he saw Kaidan thump Pressley on the back and head towards the elevator. "You did that already or have you forgotten?" Joker thought

bitterly. He heard a small sound and turned his attention back to the screen. Shepard had turned and was now facing the camera. She had her head pressed against

the data pad, letting tears fall onto her breasts and on the bed. She gave a melancholy look at her terminal as another song from the same singer as before started

up. "I've come across the desert to greet you with a smile…"He couldn't stand it anymore. He reached for his crutches and hoisted himself up. He cleared the

screen, set the Normandy to auto pilot and hobbled slowly towards the elevator. "Whoa, what happened there, sport?" Pressley asked, eyeing the wet spot on

Joker's pants. "Oh, you know me; got overly excited about my coffee. Dumped it in my lap because I thought my pecker wanted some, too." Pressley laughed and

turned to his terminal. Joker blushed; he had completely forgotten about that in his rage. He came up to the elevator and made sure no one was paying attention. He

pressed the top floor button after he stepped in and made sure he had a firm grasp on his crutches. The doors closed and he prepared for hell.

---

Joker gently rapped his crutch against the Commander's door. "Who is it?" Joker swallowed hard and searched for something to say. "It's…uh…the Muffin Man." There

was a pause and then, much to his surprise, "The one that lives on Drury Lane?" "Yea, that's me… can I, uh… can I enter?" Another pause, longer than the first. "If

you insist." He heard a rustle and then breathing. "Are you alone?" She asked with a hushed tone. "I brought my crutches." "Ass." The door slid open and Joker was

greeted by a naked Hellion. She was still holding onto the data pad, not even trying to the hide that fact that Joker's picture was on it. "…I see your preparations.

Invite me first to the feast…" "Shepard, I…" "I fucked Kaidan." She said with a blank stare. Joker choked; it's not like he didn't just get done watching it happen but

hearing Shepard say it was…well, off putting. She threw her data pad at Joker and walked towards her couch. He barely caught it from falling. He got a good look at it;

the screen was cracked but Joker's face looked back at him. "I punched it because I wouldn't punch you and now I can't get the damn thing to get off your fucking

picture." She said casually. "Because you couldn't bring yourself to hit a cripple?" he asked with his temper simmering. "If you listened every once in a while, you would

have heard that I said 'wouldn't'…as in would…not." Her tone rose ever so slightly. "Why?" He asked accusatorily, hobbling over to face Shepard. He gulped at the

sight, trying to keep his face as straight as possible. Shepard leaned back on her couch with her legs slightly spread. Her hands were clasped and laid placidly on the

hard pad above her slit. Her naked body was glistening from the moisture left over from her shower, accentuating the definition of her rippling muscles. "Take…me

I'm yours because dreams are made of this. Forever there'll be a heaven in your kiss…" For a few seconds, nothing was said; Shepard just fixed Joker with a

blank stare. "Why would I want to hurt you?" She asked in an even tone. Joker gripped his crutch, lifted the other slightly and pointed it at her. "That's rich,

Commander! That's fucking good!" He cracked up and set his crutch back down, settling himself. "I fail to see what's so funny about that." Her eyes flashed with anger.

"You fucked Kaidan; you don't think that hurts?!" Joker said shakily. Shepard raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. "Why would it? I thought that you would be glad.

It was your suggestion, after all." She lowered her voice to a growl. Joker gripped his crutches, feeling like he could break his hands if he squeezed any harder.

"Well…I…I…" Joker fumbled with his words. "It's not like you want me!" Shepard roared, her face turning dark red. A biotic field formed around her and within an

instant she was an inch from Joker's face, causing him to gasp. Her forehead pressed up against the brim of Joker's hat and tilted it back slightly. "You got what you

wanted and cast me aside like garbage out of an airlock! The funny thing is…I still want you…you have no idea, no fucking clue how much it hurt doing what I just did!"

The hairs on Joker's arms, chin and head started to gravitate towards the mass effect field around Shepard. "I saw the whole thing…" he mumbled, his voice getting

stuck in his throat. His eyes grew wide at the realization that he just admitted to peeping on them. "My chills and thrills and spills…" Shepard stepped back, her

eyebrows knitted together and her mouth agape. "You watched us, Joker?" The shock and disgust in her voice was palpable. He cast a sorrowful look to the ground;

he couldn't stand meeting her gaze. The field around her grew as tears fell from her eyes. "I… wanted to see what it would be like to be able to make love to you…the

way you deserve…" "The way I deserve?!" She yelled and grabbed Joker's face roughly. She forced him to look her in the eyes; the pale green was replaced by the

luminescent blue of biotic power. She led his face to her sides. Although most of her was tattooed, Joker could still see the large bruises along her sides and around

her genitals. "Oh God, Shepard…" he dropped the data pad in disbelief. She jerked his face back up to meet hers. Her tears glowed with biotic power and floated

upwards to the ceiling. "I…never…wanted this. I could have had Kaidan at any time but I held out for you! I gave you my heart…I gave you my virginity…" "W-wait,

what?" Joker stammered, blinking away the tears welling up in his own eyes. "She moved her hips with such grace, like she had been with her fair share of men." Joker

recalled her being almost painfully tight but… "She was a virgin?" "I don't believe I stuttered." She said through clenched teeth."Why? A woman doesn't hold onto

something like that for that long without a damn good reason." Joker growled, becoming aware of the painful sensation in his face."I guess I'm an old fashioned

romantic…holding out for someone I love…You made me feel like I really meant something; like I wasn't just Commander Shepard to you. With you, I felt like I wasn't

just some fucking trophy to place on a pedestal and occasionally dust off…but it was a fucking lie!" She quivered and let go of Joker's face. "It wasn't a lie…" Joker

whispered, rubbing his jaw. "Oh, is that so? Evidence points to the contrary." Shepard said sarcastically. "Damn it, you are so selfish, Shepard! You act like it was the

easiest thing in the world for me to do. You have no idea how much I want to be able to pick you up and make love to you. You don't know what I would give to be

able to dance with you without breaking a leg." He limped closer and pushed her head back with his forehead, knocking his hat onto the floor. "I would give my life

just to have one last day with you… one, single fucking day where I could be…normal." Shepard sobbed; visibly shaken by Joker's words. She looked down to Joker's

crutches. "I love you the way you are." She said in a guttural hush. The biotic field around her dissipated and she dropped to her knees and stared up at him. His

forest green eyes bore into her jade ones, looking for a reason not to believe her. "I couldn't face this without you, Jeffery… there is no Normandy, no galaxy… no

universe worth saving…worth being in…without you." Joker backed up and leaned against the wall behind him. He laid his right crutch up against him and rubbed

furiously at his leaking eyes. "Shepard…" He choked out, hyperventilating. Shepard stood, walked up to Joker and placed her hands on the wall behind him. "Without

you…there is no Commander Shepard." She whispered before placing her lips on his. The smell of sweat and tears surrounded Joker's senses, threatening to swallow

him whole. "Take… me I'm yours because dreams are made of this. Forever there'll be a heaven in your kiss…" Then he smelled it, just a subtle as it had been

the first day they met, there was that one scent that lingered where ever Shepard was and had recently been. It was hiding behind the saline but it was still there;

the scent that never fades.

---

Chapter 8: Into The Dark

"You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?!" Joker barely heard Shepard speak over the crackling of fire and the poor reception. "I suppose I should thank you,

Shepard. After Virmire, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said…about Sovereign manipulating me…about indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me.

Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve… now my doubt are gone; I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand the Reapers

need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you, too." Saren said calmly. "Sovereign is controlling you through your implants; don't you see that?"

Shepard's retort was muffled. "The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined; a union of flesh and steel. The strength of both, the weaknesses of

neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard; the evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny! Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!" Saren hissed.

"Sovereign hasn't won, yet! I can stop it from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen!" Shepard shouted. "We can't stop it, not

forever! You saw what happened to the protheans; the Reapers are too powerful." Saren said quietly, melancholy echoing through the Council Chambers. "Some part

of you must realize this is wrong! You can fight this!" After a short silence, Saren spoke. "Maybe you're right, maybe there is still a chance for…arg…" Saren gurgled

and made retching noises. "The implants…Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry but it is…too late for me." "It's not over, yet. You can still redeem yourself…if you have the

balls!" Shepard said; her voice strong and sure. "Goodbye Shepard… and thank you." There was a crack of a pistol going off followed by the sound of breaking glass.

"Shepard?" Joker whimpered.

---

"Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel; please tell me that's you, Commander." Joker pleaded after hearing nothing static for several long minutes. "I'm

here, Joker." Shepard said breathlessly. "I just got the distress call, Commander. I'm sitting here in the Ardura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet; we can save the

Ascension; just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in." He could hear Kaidan and Wrex bickering inaudibly. "What's the order,

Commander?" Joker asked, "Move in now to save the Ascension or hold back?" "Hold off, Joker. Keep our ships back until they can get a shot at Sovereign…killing it is

more important than saving the Council." Shepard said grimly. "Aye aye… Shepard."

---

"All Alliance ships; hold formation. Wait for a shot at Sovereign; nothing else matters. I repeat; nothing else matters." Admiral Hackett's voice boomed over the

Normandy's intercom. Joker dropped down towards the closed arms of the Citadel to join the other Alliance ships when the intercom buzzed. "This is the Ascension!

We're taking heavy damage! Guardian defenses are…" Joker cut the feed with a sigh. He passed over the Ascension and gave it one forlorn look before it exploded.

The resulting shockwave rocked the Normandy. Joker steadied the ship and kept diving towards the Citadel. The arms crept open and Joker guided the Normandy

through the widening slits.

---

"Make sure he's dead." Shepard said placidly, looking at the broken glass roof that Saren had fallen through after committing suicide. Wrex and Kaidan jumped

through the hole and walked over to Saren's lifeless body. Kaidan pulled out his pistol and shot Saren in the head. He pressed the communicator on his ear and said

with confidence, "He's dead." He went to walk away until he saw red beams flashing every few feet. Bolts flew at Saren's corpse, making it convulse. The body

became engulfed in the red light and exploded outwards. Wrex and Kaidan flew back for the blast. The floor beneath Shepard's feet crumbled and gave way, causing

her to tumble down into the hole. She got onto her knees to see Saren's body standing, twitching and gurgling. The red bolts started to morph Saren's body, grossly

elongating it. Saren's skin melted away and there was nothing left but the blue and black implants, still aglow from the red light of the curious lightning. Saren shook

off the remaining skin and jumped from wall to wall with terrifying speed. He landed above Shepard and said in a voice not truly his own, "I am Sovereign."

---

Every fleet in the system laid all their fire power on the gigantic form hanging onto the Citadel. It raised its tentacle like appendages and fired red lasers at random

ships. Joker weaved between the ships and deftly dodged the lasers. "Sovereign is too strong; we have to pull back!" He yelled into the intercom, never letting his

eyes leave the battle field. "Negative," Admiral Hackett retorted, "this is our only chance; take that monster down no matter what the cost."

---

Shepard and Kaidan stood back to back, flinging biotic bursts at the leaping corpse. Wrex charged every time the creature landed, popping off round after round of

shotgun heat sinks. Commander Shepard let out a battle cry and flung a final shock wave at Saren, flipping him to the far side of the room. He evaporated into red

sparks, leaving nothing but a pile of ash in its wake.

---

Red beams of light erupted over Sovereign as it started to free fall off the Citadel. Bemused, Joker yelled into the intercom, "It's shields are down; now's our chance!"

To which the solemn voice of Admiral Hackett replied, "Hit it with everything we got." Missiles from the remaining ships all unloaded relentlessly. Joker cracked a grin,

thumbed his hat up and climbed high above the falling Reaper. "Hard on my flank; we're going in!" He shouted and dove towards the vulnerable under belly of the

beast. He released a plasma missile dead center and pulled hard back up as Sovereign crackled and exploded. One of its legs remained largely intact and headed

straight for the Council Chambers. Joker looked down and the smile quickly vanished from his face. "No… no… SHEPARD!"

---

Shepard and the ground party had reached the top landing of the Council Chambers when she gazed up to the enormous bay window just in time to see the Reaper

leg head straight towards them. "Go!" She yelled at the leg crashed through the window.

---

Joker hacked into one of the Council Chamber cameras and gagged at the sight of the destruction. He heard some movement and switched to another camera. He

heard Kaidan coughing and saw a few Privates pulling away rubble. "They're over here, sir!" One shouted behind him. Captain Anderson ran into view and crouched

low. "It's alright; you're safe now! It's over!" There was a sheer joy in his voice. After a pause, he looked around. "Where's the Commander?" He asked, the smile

slipping from his face. Joker zoomed in on Kaidan's face. Tears streamed down his face unabashedly as he turned toward the Reaper leg sticking up out of its place of

impact. "No… You can't be dead. You wouldn't die on me; you can't!" Joker shouted at the screen. "DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE!" He wailed, crushing his hat over

his head. Tears fell freely and soaked his hat. Liara leaned on the support beam next to the cockpit, stifling her sobs. Garrus slunk up to her and wrapped her in a

hug, running his talons over her fringe. "Without you…there's no Joker." Joker whispered as he clicked furiously through the different cameras. He thought he saw a

flash of something next to the leg…then next to some crumbled ceiling. He hooted and hollered at the screen as Shepard stepped from behind the wreckage with a

triumphant look on her face. "Thank the Goddess!" Liara sobbed and buried her face into Garrus' armor, clutching him tightly. "That's my girl!" He shouted gleefully,

adjusting his cap. "That's my girl."

Chapter 9: Welcome Home

Admiral Hackett stepped into the Normandy and headed for the cock pit. "That was a hell of a kill shot, Moreau." His deep voice reverberated throughout the stern of

the ship. Joker turned, grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you, sir." Hackett smiled but it quickly vanished. "Shepard, Kaidan and the krogan are at Huerta Memorial

getting checked out but they'll all be fine. Good news out of the way... I've heard some talk about fraternization..." he started slowly. Joker tried to keep his face as

unemotional as possible. "Oh? Well, that's against regulations, sir." Hackett leaned in close and whispered so softly that Joker had to strain to hear him. "I've known

the Commander since she was a baby, did you know that?" He asked placidly. "No, sir; I didn't." Joker responded, trying to keep his tone even. "I was in the room

when the Commander was born." "So…you're pretty close to the Shepard's, sir?" Joker asked. "I am, very much so. Do you know why Shepard requested to be put on

the Normandy?" He asked Joker, slightly changing the subject. "Well… it's the Normandy, sir. Who wouldn't want to be on a top of line frigate?" "It has little to do with

the ship itself." Admiral Hackett said, urging Joker to reconsider. "Well, Kaidan is an impressive biotic and she's always trying to find other biotics to train with." Joker

said, putting unnecessary emphasis on Kaidan's name. "Close but no cigar, Moreau." "I could go for a cigar right now. That sounds better than getting a medal. I'd

have to shave for that and then listen to a bunch of old dudes yap for hours…no offense, sir." Joker added quickly after catching a glimpse of the stern look Hackett

was giving him. "She requested the transfer because of you." Joker's jaw dropped. "What? We never met before she came aboard." "She was beyond impressed with

your flight school scores, Moreau. I had pointed out several other well to do pilots but she just refused to be moved." Joker smiled and felt a blush creep up on his

scruffy cheeks. "Well, how about that." "I consider her my daughter, especially after her father passed away…" "Her dad died?" Joker interjected. Hackett nodded.

"Surely you've heard of Kazim Batrisyia?" "Yea, he was the pilot of the Fifth Fleet frigate Epiphany. It was shot down during the Skyllian Blitz on Elysium." "Flight

Lieutenant Batrisyia was an ace pilot, much like you are…and he was also Shepard's father." Joker cocked an eyebrow at him. "Hannah Shepard never changed her

name when they got married and they decided to give Hellion her last name. Anyway, I'm sure you recall hearing that Shepard was on shore leave when the batarians

attacked? She was serving on that ship and was due to return when the batarians hit." Joker swallowed hard thinking about how close Shepard came to dying. "I had

no idea…Shepard never talked about it." "Neither her nor Hannah tend to talk about it…even to me. They're very much the same; bottling everything up and paint on a

brave face for those who serve under them. As I was saying, she is the closest thing to a daughter that I'll ever have and she is very dear to me. The doctors at

Huerta filled me in on her…delicate condition." "Wait, I thought you said that she's okay!" Joker squeaked. Hackett straightened up. "Then you don't know…she is

okay, in a matter of speaking. I think that it would be in your best interest to speak with her when she gets back." "Fuck that, sir!" Joker said defiantly, reaching down

for his crutches. "You're freaking me the hell out!" Hackett was gentle but firm when he laid his hand on Joker's shoulder. "Moreau, I'd like for you to stay aboard the

Normandy and make sure everything is functional. Shepard and the rest of the boarding party will be here later tonight." Joker sighed and set his crutches back on the

floor. It was a thinly veiled order, Joker knew that, but still…he wanted to see Shepard after Hackett's vague comments. "Now, to get back to the crux of the matter…

fraternization is technically against protocol, as you know. However," Hackett said, pausing just enough to make Joker start sweating, "to hell with protocol if it makes

her happy." "Her, sir?" Joker asked coyly. Hackett turned and walked towards the airlock. He looked over to his shoulder before disembarking. "Yes, Moreau…her."

---

"Decontamination in progress…decontamination in progress." Joker perked up, hoping to see Shepard but it was Kaidan and he walked through unaccompanied.

"Where's Shepard?" Joker asked as calmly as he could. Kaidan gave Joker a blank look. He slowly walked over to Joker and knelt down so he was face level. Kaidan

silently scanned Joker's face. "Joker…I will always love Shepard…but I know that it's you she wants and I won't do anything to jeopardize that. But…if you hurt her

again; I'll be there to pick up the pieces. Don't fuck this up." Kaidan stood up and walked off without another word. Not five seconds later Wrex came through with

Shepard at his heels. Wrex tossed his fist into the air at Joker. "You're the…craziest little…p-pyjak in the whole damn…gal…galaxy… and…and doctors have good pain

killers… it's better than ryncol!" Wrex's words were heavily slurred. Wrex chatted away as he walked shakily to the galaxy map. Shepard didn't immediately look up at

Joker or walk over to him. Joker reached down, grabbed his crutches and slowly got up. He limped over to her and leaned his head down to meet her eyes.

"Shepard…I was so worried…" Shepard grabbed his face and kissed him tenderly. "So…Hackett came by and said some cryptic shit." Joker said breathlessly as

Shepard pulled away. "Joker…you might want to sit down for this." Shepard whispered. "Shepard, I sit all the time…because, you know… I'm a pilot with bum legs."

Joker chuckled. Shepard reached to Joker's waist and hugged him. She placed her head on his chest and began to shake. "Shepard, what's wrong? Just tell me,

please. The anticipation is…" "I'm pregnant." "Oh…shit..." Joker saw the lights of the Normandy dim and felt himself slump before blacking out.

---

Joker woke up in the med bay to see Dr. Chakwas glowering over him. "What the shit..." "You passed out, Jeff. The Commander felt the need to carry you here instead

of calling for help." Dr. Chakwas looked towards the door with a frown. Joker looked about until he found Shepard on the far side of the room, fumbling with his hat.

Joker slowly propped himself up with his elbow. "I panicked, Karin." Shepard said softly. "Be that as it may; you are in no condition to be doing any heavy lifting. I have

a hard enough time making sure Jeffery takes his medication. I shouldn't have to babysit you, too." Dr. Chakwas said, softening into a smile. Joker glared at Shepard,

waiting for her to look up. Silent minutes passed. "Will you look at me, Hellion?" He pleaded. Slowly, Shepard raised her head and met Joker's gaze with glazed eyes.

"Joker…" she mumbled. "I have to ask…is it…" He started but turned to Dr. Chakwas. "Go ahead, Jeff. She knows." Shepard said quietly. Joker cocked his head back to

Hellion. "Is it…is the baby mine?" Joker chocked on his words. "Jeff… she's a few months along…you'll be having a son." Dr. Chakwas said reassuringly. Joker laid back

down on the cot and put his hands to his watering eyes. "Thank the turian spirits for small miracles. A boy, hu? I'm going to be a daddy!" He said with a laugh. "Now,

the baby doesn't have any signs of Vrolik's yet but Shepard will be diligently monitored. She, for now, is on maternity leave and is not supposed to be doing any heavy

lifting. Hannah suggested that she stay with her aboard the Orziba…" Dr. Chakwas began but was cut off by Joker. "Oh no, I want my…I mean…Shepard to stay here.

She can stay here, can't she?" Dr. Chakwas raised her eyebrow and tossed her head at Shepard. "Why don't you ask her?" Shepard sat uncomfortably in her seat,

blushing heavily. Joker sat up and slowly set his feet on the ground. Dr. Chakwas reached over to where Joker's crutches were laying but Joker waved her off. Joker

moved painstakingly slowly towards the Commander. She looked up and worry flooded her eyes as she ran up to him, abandoning the hat on the seat. "Joker; are

you crazy?" She yelled, holding out her arms for Joker to grab and steady himself on. "Yes, I am. I'm crazy about you, Hellion. I love you more than you'll ever know."

He said proudly, squeezing her inked arms. "Joker…" "I have something for you, but it's in my hat. Help me over there." He whispered. Slowly, they walked over to the

chair. Once he got close enough, he scooped up his hat. "Sit down, sweetheart. I can do this." He said confidently. Shepard hesitantly sat down, keeping her arms

out. Joker stood shakily as he turned his hat over and loosened the patch on the inside. He gave it a little shake above his hand and the ring he tucked away fell out.

Dr. Chakwas squeaked and stammered, "I'll…um…go…do something else…elsewhere." She said, hurrying out of the med bay. Joker grabbed one of Shepard's arms

and started to kneel. "Joker…" "I have to do this. I've been meaning to give this to you but…shit happens. Now is as good a time as any." After a grueling few

seconds, Joker got down on one knee and held out the ring. He stared blankly at it. "Fuck, I don't even know if it'll fit." He turned his gaze back to Shepard. Her face

was stoic but tears fell onto her cheeks. "Would you do this cripple the honor of marrying him?" "I'm not marrying a cripple…I'm marrying the best damn helmsmen in

the galaxy!" She cried out, wrapping her arms around Joker. They embraced for some time, crying and laughing, completely oblivious to the crew gathered outside of

the door. Liara and Garrus held one another, beaming up at each other. Tali had her hands and helmet pressed up against the door. Pressley and Engineer Adams

consoled a hysterical Dr. Chakwas. Kaidan stood behind them with his arms crossed and looking on solemnly. Joker slid the finger over Hellion's finger and smirked; it

fit like a favorite pair of gloves. The crew, minus Kaidan, erupted into applause and cheers. "How about it, Mrs. Moreau; want to tend to your adoring public?" Shepard

laughed aloud. "Of course…Mr. Shepard." "Hey now…" Joker was cut short by a tender kiss from his fiance.

---

"Oh Elli; I'm so happy for you!" Hannah Shepard sobbed, squeezing Hellion tight. "Little Icarus… what a beautiful name! So, when is the wedding and have you

decided on whether or not to take this handsome young pilot's last name?" She asked as she pulled away. "No hitting on my fiancé, mom!" Shepard said playfully.

"What can I say; the Shepard women have a thing for pilots." Hannah winked at Joker, making him blush. "Damn, Shepard's mom has got it going ON!" Joker mused.

She looked identical to Hellion except for the fact that her impossibly long greying hair was pulled back in a tight bun, she had visible no tattoos and she had quite a

few laugh lines around her eyes and mouth. "The wedding plans are still kind of in limbo until we get done with this next mission." Shepard said. "Mission?" "It's just

some scanning, mom. As for the last name…" She eyed Joker, squeezing his hand. "Well… we're still working that one out." Hannah reached into her suit and pulled

out a simple silver ring on a chain. "This was Kazim's ring. If it fits, I'd like you to have it." "Oh mom…" "Don't you 'Oh mom' me, Elli. Your father would have wanted you

to have this." Hannah slipped the ring off of the necklace and handed it to Hellion. Hellion's eyes brimmed with tears and she thumbed the ring. "Thank you, mom."

She held up Joker's hand and slid the ring on his ring finger. "It's perfect; thank you, Ma 'me." Joker said, smiling at Hannah. "Alright kiddos; I have to get back to the

Orziba. Be careful," She said, planting a kiss on Hellion's cheek, "Take care of my grandson and each other; I love you."

FINITO...for now...