A/N: As everyone else, this episode broke my heart. And like everyone else here, I turn to writing to ease that pain. I still have so much more to write for this episode, as I'm exploring all the events and feelings this episode provided. I hope I'll get to all of them. But for now, this is a first. Comments, as always, are a bliss.
Family Portrait
"There is no rose without a thorn, no rain without a storm. There is no laughter without tears, no wisdom without years" – Anastacia
As Maureen and Tom left, the house was oddly quiet. Alison and Jason standing at the staircase, looking at their father as he paced around the room in anger. Stevie was in complete shock as she watched the whole thing unravel, as she learned the nickname her aunt gave her mother. She'd never known her mother to be one to take such behavior. She never saw her so a weak, so defeated.
"Sweetie" Elizabeth said, stroking Stevie's arm, interrupting her thoughts, "can you please take your siblings out for a walk or something?"
Looking at her mother, Stevie understood right away that she was asking her to give the grown-ups a chance to talk. One look at her father told her it was probably for the best. He needed to break down and let loose and that was not going to happen unless they were out of the house. She smiled and nodded, walking over to the staircase. "Nerds, grab your coats, I feel like hot chocolate".
As they left as well, Erin and Shane sank to the couch, letting out a breath. Henry was still pacing the room, fists closed at the sides of his body, anger on his face. It was probably the first time either one of his siblings ever saw him this angry. True, Maureen could drive anyone crazy, but Henry was always the only one who knew how to handle her. He always put her in her place, standing up to her. But never letting her get to him this way. But this, this was hitting the most painful spot ever – this was shaming Elizabeth and admitting out loud they don't like her. Even after 28 years of them being together. He couldn't take it anymore. What more would he or his wife he had to do and go through for his family to finally accept her?
"Henry" Erin called, trying to get him to talk to them as she saw how angry he was. Elizabeth was still standing at the same place, trying to read Henry's body language, to know what was his next move. She wanted to walk over to him, to make him calm down in her arms, but she understood he was not ready for that. Not yet.
"Erin you're no better than she is" he said, almost yelling, angry.
"What?"
"Both of you" he said, pointing at Shane and Erin, "you think just because you never called her that, that you're better than Maureen but really, you're not. You don't like Elizabeth just as much as Maureen. You never did. You always teased her about the same things just like dad and Maureen. You never once tried to get to know her, let alone accept her into this family".
"Hey, Henry, that's not fair" Erin said.
"Isn't it? I've been with Elizabeth for almost 28 years now. And every time I come here I feel like you keep waiting for this marriage to break apart. Well, guess what? It's not going to. I told you this from the day I brought her home and all of you opened a bet of how long it was going to last. On our wedding day I heard you all talking about how Maureen lost the bet now that we were getting married. And you know, back then I kept telling myself – let it go, this is what siblings do. They'll get over it. Now that it's official, and Elizabeth is part of the family, they'll let her in, they'll accept her. But that never happened. And it's not what siblings do. You're supposed to want the best for me, the thing that makes me happy".
"You think we don't?!" Erin asked, raising her voice.
"Newsflash Erin, she is the one that makes me happy. Every single day" Henry said, pointing at Elizabeth.
"Henry, I think you're angry at dad and Maureen and you're taking it out on us and it's not fair. We love Elizabeth" Shane tried.
"Shane have you ever tried to get to know her? Erin, have you ever been close to her the way you were with Stacy? Or with Norah? The minute Shane brought them home they became part of this family, even though they're no longer here. But Elizabeth? She was always a stranger to you. You might not have called her 'Queen Elizabeth' but you sure as hell didn't shut Maureen out for this, or told her she was wrong. And I think deep down, you actually agree with her. And this is what hurts me the most. You know nothing about her, so much that you don't even know that Elizabeth doesn't take shit from anyone. Yet somehow, every time we come here she's biting her tongue and she would never say a word to either one of you. And you know why? Because she respects you, and she loves me. And that should've been enough for you to show her some respect as well. But you look at her like she doesn't belong here, like she did the horrible thing of marrying me and joining this family in spite of what you wanted. I can't stand it anymore. I can't. I'm too tired of thinking what more can I do. But know this – unless you start making her a part of this family, I swear, you're not going to see much of me".
As his words left his mouth, silence spread across the room. Erin and Share looked at each other, suddenly realizing that their brother had enough. And it was a first. Because Henry was always the patient, forgiving one of the family. He always tried to see the best in everything and he would always find reasons for the things people said or did. But if he was ready to cut them off, well, it only meant he reached his breaking point. And that Elizabeth was, as he always said, the most important thing in his life.
Too lost in their own thoughts, they didn't notice when Elizabeth walked over to him. She rested her hand on his, gently stroking his arm. "Henry" she whispered.
Moving from his touch, he turned away from her. "No, Elizabeth. Don't".
"Hey" she said, her fingers resting on his chin, gently turning his face to her, "look at me".
Sighing, he turned to meet her eyes. They held such softness and comfort, and he suddenly felt at home again. He was surrounded by family and friends, but as their gazes locked, he finally felt like he was where he belonged. It was funny how at times he would find himself looking at her and thinking – this is why I fell in love with her. Even after all these years.
She caressed his chest, her eyes never leaving him. "You can let go" she whispered, and pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around him. His body was tense at first. He didn't want to break. Not in front of his siblings, not in front of her. It felt wrong for him to cry over his father, who was a part of every part of his life, of every major event, when she lost hers when she was only 10. But as he felt the warmth of her body wrap him, as he could feel the beating of her heart against his chest, he couldn't hold it in anymore. He cried quietly on her shoulder, burying his head in the crook of her neck, holding tightly to her. Her hands moved up and down his back, holding him close, letting him know that she will never let go, that it was okay to lean on her.
Holding onto each other's hands, Erin and Shane watched as Henry broke down. Their strong brother breaking in front of them. Henry was always a Marine guy. Once, when he came home with his uniform, Erin joked that there really was no one better for the job, and that he probably made all the other guys feel intimidated. He suddenly looked so small, so scared. Crawled in the arms of his wife, letting her hold him. It daunted on them the power their relationship had, the connection between them. It was then that they realized for the first time ever why they really did belong together, why he loved her so much, and why there was nothing in the world that could break them apart.
He shifted in her arms as the crying subsided, meeting her eyes again. She gently wiped his tears and he closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers. "Thank you" he whispered.
Taking his hand in hers, she led him to the couch. As he sat, she leaned forward and kissed the top of his head, still holding onto his hand. "I think you could all use a drink" she said, offering a smile. But as she began to walk, he pulled her arm, making her stay. She turned to him and he looked at her, his eyes conveying fear and sadness. He didn't want to be left alone. "I'll be back in a second baby" she said, squeezing his hand, reassuring him. He nodded, letting go of her hand.
After handing Erin and Shane a bottle of beer, she took the seat next to him and gave him his drink. He pulled her to his embrace, and she leaned against his chest as his fingers moved up and down her arm. The room was still quiet, no one saying a word. Henry's words still lingered in the room, weighting down on everyone present. Shane wanted to apologize. Looking at Erin, he realized she wanted to do the same, but neither one of them could find the right words. Too much had happened, and "sorry" felt too little.
It was Elizabeth who finally broke the silence. "When I was 12, I came home one day crying my eyes out. I ran into my room and shut the door. My mom wanted to come in, but I refused to talk to anyone. So she sat outside my room for hours as I cried, waiting for me to let her in. After a few hours I finally caved and she came inside. She pulled me to her embrace and asked me who made me cry like this. Will, of course. He was with his friends and they made fun of me in front of everyone and he really humiliated me. And I was so angry at him, so hurt. When she heard that it, she looked at me and said 'baby girl, you have to pull yourself together and start standing up for yourself. No one is going to do that for you'. The next day in school, I poured an entire bottle of water on him, and he had to walk with wet clothes all day. I think he didn't speak to me for 3 whole days for this, but he never humiliated me ever again. That day, when I came home, my mom called me to her room. She was sick by then and she knew her days were numbered. She sat me down on her bed and said 'now sweetie you need to make peace with him. I know, he can be obnoxious at times, and a real pain in the butt, but at the end of the day he's still your brother, still your family. And you don't get to replace your family. And one day, this is all you will have left'. If only she had told me that a month later I'd have to say goodbye to her, maybe I would've appreciated her words more. But after she died I realized that no matter how much I couldn't stand my brother, and how he drove me crazy at times, he was still my family, the only one I had left".
Taking her hand in his, he noticed the tears that formed at the corners of her eyes. "You never told me that" he said.
"You never gave me reason to".
As her words sank in he realized that she was telling him the same thing her mother had told her. She knew how obnoxious Maureen could be. Hell, she was the first in line to suffer from that. But she was still his sister, they all were. And now that their parents died, they had to lean on each other, they had to remember that you only get one family. You can fight, you can cry, but at the end of the day, you're still a family. And now, more than ever, they had to stick together. She knew he had enough, she knew he couldn't stand it anymore. But as she told him another piece of her past, she gave him the strength to try again, the will to keep going. She was his family, she has been for almost 28 years now, but it was no replacement for his siblings, and he couldn't afford to lose them.
Nodding to her, he turned to look at Erin and Shane. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I…"
"No, we're sorry" Shane started.
"Henry, we never meant to make you feel this way. I… Elizabeth, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel unwelcomed in this house. I'm sorry I never made an effort to get to know you. And your mom was right, you don't replace a family, and Henry I don't want to lose you. I think we lost enough now that dad's also gone. We have to stick together, all of us".
Elizabeth smiled as she watched them getting back to their old selves. Accepting their apology, Henry reached out for his siblings hands, holding them tight. When he noticed that Elizabeth had reached to wipe away her tears, he pulled her to his arms and held her close. She closed her eyes for a minute, letting the beating of his heart remind her that she was lucky enough to have him in her life.
As they said their goodbyes, Erin pulled Henry for a hug. Lingering a while longer, she whispered "you really won the jackpot with her, didn't you?"
Meeting her eyes, he smiled and nodded. "She's the love of my life" he said as he watched her clear away the bottles of beer.
He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. Placing a kiss on her cheek, he felt her relax in his embrace. "Thank you for being my family, Elizabeth Adams McCord".
Tilting her head, she met his gaze and smiled. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers before kissing her softly, tightening his grip around her. "Thank you for being mine" she breathed on his lips before kissing him again. As their lips parted, he nuzzled his nose against hers. "I love you" she said.
