It's 2am. Syed's chucking the wedding rings his Mum bought him between his hands, watching the way they sparkle in the light from his bedside lamp. But also the way that, if he keeps his eyes fixed to that central mark, there's a couple of moments where the rings go too high for him to see, and they're not important anymore.
He should really be sleeping, he has suit buying to do tomorrow, and he can already feel the stress. But his bed feels strange and uncomfortable. He shivers from the cold, and realises he's so used to Christian's heated body next to him. His hand reaches out for his mobile, but he stops himself. Christian had asked him one simple thing:
"To think about everything, and make a choice."
Christian was right, that word, that emotion, being spoken between them had just resulted in more pain. It had complicated things further, when Syed knew it without him saying it, and had done for months. Ramadan was a test for himself, and a way of stepping back from everything that was becoming too overwhelming for words. But it was also a test for Christian, whether he could remain faithful, Syed believed he would jump into the next bed that was offered to him. But Christian had abstained, and even back then, with all the pain and anguish, it had made Syed feel special and happy, and in love. From that month, he had known how strongly Christian felt for him. Syed had known that he himself was that mythological character James thought may never exist:
"The man who could make Christian Clarke commit."
Syed didn't need Christian to say that four letter word, he already knew. But then in the same moment, he did need to know. He needed to feel how complete his heart would be on hearing it spoken from those lips, knowing he returned the emotion.
Their moment was interrupted, Lucy storming into her uncle's apartment. The picture of a future for them left unpainted. Could there be a future for them?
Syed fell asleep imagining the paths of this particular crossroad. Disjointed dreams greeted him, juxtaposed shots of the life he would have with his fiancée, or the life he may have with the man he was in love with.