Hullo everyone. first off I must confess to something. Not too long ago I
had never read a Harry Potter Book. and a good friend of mine finished the
fifth one and was upset that there was no more to read so to cheer him up I
started writing him one and sending it bit by bit. and so I decided to put
it up here. so I'm sorry in advance if some things don't make sense or are
poking fun at harry potter I want you to know its all in good fun. and I
have more I can update if anyone wants to continue reading, and the rest
in my head. so please review and let me know ( and please remember I've
only read the first book and not real well either so if things are
inaccurate I'm sorry
I own nothing
Harry Potter woke up to a bright summer's day. It was a perfectly lovely day and any normal boy his age was outside having fun. Normally he would as well. But on this particular day he was stuck inside. He decided to write Hermione. He really wanted to write Ron, but he was supposedly dead. So he picked up a pen and started writing. Dear Hermione, I'm glad to hear that your summer has been going so smashing. But I'm sorry to say mine has taken a turn for the worst. It was totally a complete accident. Well sorta. You see it all happened when Dudley brought his weenie of a friend here. Of course they're aware that I am not to use magic while away from school. But what happened no one could blame me for. You see they always pick on me, but this time they went too far. Dudley even went as far as to sit on me. Now I could have probably taken his friend tickling my feet with the feathers, but as you know Dudley isn't a small boy. In fact sea world called the other day. Turns out they lost shamoo and they wanted to buy Dudley. But of course Uncle Vernon wouldn't go for it. But anywhoo back to the story. So Dudley sat on me, and eventually I couldn't breathe anymore so I had no other choice but to use magic. That's right I zapped him to Sea World. His little friend ran away real fast. Chap, I tell you it was the quietest too days of my life. Except for the whole Aunt Petunia constantly wheeping and Uncle Vernon constantly "Boy, if I find out you had anything to do with this." Well you can imagine Uncle Vernon's reaction when he turned on the tv and saw Dudley being tossed fish as spectators watched on. While as you can imagine I am grounded. And Uncle Vernon thought of the best way this time to keep me in. That's right, Dudley's sitting in front of my door. I am bloody stuck. At least the ministry of magic decided it was self defense and no wizard should have to suffer that punishment so I'm not in trouble at school. I can't wait for school to start again. At least it's only a little ways away. But I'm afraid it will be a little weird without Ron there. But I'm off, see you at school.
From Harry
And at last the time had passed and it was the day for Harry to go back to school. He awoke early, anxious to go back. But as it turns out Dudley had fallen asleep in front of his doorway. Now what was he to do? He couldn't be late. Dudley would move as soon as he knew it was time for Harry to leave. But how to get him awake? Harry tried yelling and crashing things and made as much noise as he could. But nothing worked. He did the only smart thing he could think of. Harry sucked in a lungful of breath and yelled "SUPPPPPPPEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" And with that Dudley awoke.
Harry had just arrived at the King Cross station with all his stuff. The Dursleys quickly drove away eager to get rid of Harry. Harry walked past platform nine and quickly to platform nine and three quarters. He didn't see anybody around so he ran right into the brick wall only to find himself with a pounding headache. He had missed the train. Harry was flying as fast as he could possibly go considering he was trying to balance a trunk. The bell went off just as he pulled his broom into the school parking lot. "Bloody hell! Great way to start off my sixth year here at hogwarts!" He quickly locked up his broom and ran to class. He had missed the train. He knew he was not to fly his broom in front of Muggles but what else could he do. He opened the door and tried to sneak in. But he soon heard a strict voice behind him (in a very tacky British accent by the way.) "Mr. Potter I presume. I do not appreciate tardiness. And I will be reporting to Dumbledore about the broom. So go hop on the trolly and watch some tele and come back when you're ready to learn." So Harry quickly ran out the door. Making his way through the hallways angrily he bumped into somebody. He looked up and was shocked to see a red haired boy standing in front of him. "ay -up!RON! I ----BLOODY HELL I THOUGHT YOU SUPPOSEDLY DIED IN THE LAST BOOK!" Ron laughed loudly. "Oh my no Harry. That was just a young man's imagination getting the better of him. North American teenagers these day, eh chap?" Harry now found himself laughing as well. "You've got that right. But anywhoo, how was your summer." Ron nodded. " Banging Harry my boy! And how is the family."
Harry smiled. "Fine, my parents are still dead as far as I know. But good. But I must be on my way. I shall see you this avvy."
As Harry started to walk away he heard one last yell from his friend. "Cheerio Harry." **
Harry potter made his way to the room he was to be rooming in for the semester. He knew he wouldn't be sharing with Ron since everyone presumed him dead. Instead when he found his room and looked on the rooming list he found the name "Severus Jr. Snape" next to his own. "Bloody hell." But this couldn't be right.
"And you think I'm happy about this Mr.Potter."
Harry turned around to see Snape himself along with a miniature version standing behind him. "I don't doubt it Professor Snape. It will just make it that much freekin easier to make my life a living hell."
Snape gave his sinister grin. "Listen here chap. First of all watch your bloody language my boy. Children look up to you, God knows why, but children do read this. That still baffles me. And second of all my son does have better things to do than torment you. Besides, this doesn't make any bloody sense. I'm supposed to be leader of slytherin, my son should be in that housing. And you're in the other housing unit, um grryfndor."
A short fat guy with a beard a.k.a. the headmaster of hogwarts a.k.a. Dumbledore came over. "I can explain that my boys. We had to cut back on costs so everyone's housing in one unit now with a bunch of rooms. Besides the person writing this has now freekin idea what she's doing mate. She's never read a Harry Potter book."
Harry looked shocked. "Wha- wha- she's never what?!"
Snape laughed evily. "I told you Potter, you're not quite as popular as you think."
Harry couldn't believe it. Someone who's never read Harry Potter, how could that be. He soon found himself swaying on his feet in disbelief. Suddenly everything went black and he hit the ground like a ton of bricks.
I own nothing
Harry Potter woke up to a bright summer's day. It was a perfectly lovely day and any normal boy his age was outside having fun. Normally he would as well. But on this particular day he was stuck inside. He decided to write Hermione. He really wanted to write Ron, but he was supposedly dead. So he picked up a pen and started writing. Dear Hermione, I'm glad to hear that your summer has been going so smashing. But I'm sorry to say mine has taken a turn for the worst. It was totally a complete accident. Well sorta. You see it all happened when Dudley brought his weenie of a friend here. Of course they're aware that I am not to use magic while away from school. But what happened no one could blame me for. You see they always pick on me, but this time they went too far. Dudley even went as far as to sit on me. Now I could have probably taken his friend tickling my feet with the feathers, but as you know Dudley isn't a small boy. In fact sea world called the other day. Turns out they lost shamoo and they wanted to buy Dudley. But of course Uncle Vernon wouldn't go for it. But anywhoo back to the story. So Dudley sat on me, and eventually I couldn't breathe anymore so I had no other choice but to use magic. That's right I zapped him to Sea World. His little friend ran away real fast. Chap, I tell you it was the quietest too days of my life. Except for the whole Aunt Petunia constantly wheeping and Uncle Vernon constantly "Boy, if I find out you had anything to do with this." Well you can imagine Uncle Vernon's reaction when he turned on the tv and saw Dudley being tossed fish as spectators watched on. While as you can imagine I am grounded. And Uncle Vernon thought of the best way this time to keep me in. That's right, Dudley's sitting in front of my door. I am bloody stuck. At least the ministry of magic decided it was self defense and no wizard should have to suffer that punishment so I'm not in trouble at school. I can't wait for school to start again. At least it's only a little ways away. But I'm afraid it will be a little weird without Ron there. But I'm off, see you at school.
From Harry
And at last the time had passed and it was the day for Harry to go back to school. He awoke early, anxious to go back. But as it turns out Dudley had fallen asleep in front of his doorway. Now what was he to do? He couldn't be late. Dudley would move as soon as he knew it was time for Harry to leave. But how to get him awake? Harry tried yelling and crashing things and made as much noise as he could. But nothing worked. He did the only smart thing he could think of. Harry sucked in a lungful of breath and yelled "SUPPPPPPPEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" And with that Dudley awoke.
Harry had just arrived at the King Cross station with all his stuff. The Dursleys quickly drove away eager to get rid of Harry. Harry walked past platform nine and quickly to platform nine and three quarters. He didn't see anybody around so he ran right into the brick wall only to find himself with a pounding headache. He had missed the train. Harry was flying as fast as he could possibly go considering he was trying to balance a trunk. The bell went off just as he pulled his broom into the school parking lot. "Bloody hell! Great way to start off my sixth year here at hogwarts!" He quickly locked up his broom and ran to class. He had missed the train. He knew he was not to fly his broom in front of Muggles but what else could he do. He opened the door and tried to sneak in. But he soon heard a strict voice behind him (in a very tacky British accent by the way.) "Mr. Potter I presume. I do not appreciate tardiness. And I will be reporting to Dumbledore about the broom. So go hop on the trolly and watch some tele and come back when you're ready to learn." So Harry quickly ran out the door. Making his way through the hallways angrily he bumped into somebody. He looked up and was shocked to see a red haired boy standing in front of him. "ay -up!RON! I ----BLOODY HELL I THOUGHT YOU SUPPOSEDLY DIED IN THE LAST BOOK!" Ron laughed loudly. "Oh my no Harry. That was just a young man's imagination getting the better of him. North American teenagers these day, eh chap?" Harry now found himself laughing as well. "You've got that right. But anywhoo, how was your summer." Ron nodded. " Banging Harry my boy! And how is the family."
Harry smiled. "Fine, my parents are still dead as far as I know. But good. But I must be on my way. I shall see you this avvy."
As Harry started to walk away he heard one last yell from his friend. "Cheerio Harry." **
Harry potter made his way to the room he was to be rooming in for the semester. He knew he wouldn't be sharing with Ron since everyone presumed him dead. Instead when he found his room and looked on the rooming list he found the name "Severus Jr. Snape" next to his own. "Bloody hell." But this couldn't be right.
"And you think I'm happy about this Mr.Potter."
Harry turned around to see Snape himself along with a miniature version standing behind him. "I don't doubt it Professor Snape. It will just make it that much freekin easier to make my life a living hell."
Snape gave his sinister grin. "Listen here chap. First of all watch your bloody language my boy. Children look up to you, God knows why, but children do read this. That still baffles me. And second of all my son does have better things to do than torment you. Besides, this doesn't make any bloody sense. I'm supposed to be leader of slytherin, my son should be in that housing. And you're in the other housing unit, um grryfndor."
A short fat guy with a beard a.k.a. the headmaster of hogwarts a.k.a. Dumbledore came over. "I can explain that my boys. We had to cut back on costs so everyone's housing in one unit now with a bunch of rooms. Besides the person writing this has now freekin idea what she's doing mate. She's never read a Harry Potter book."
Harry looked shocked. "Wha- wha- she's never what?!"
Snape laughed evily. "I told you Potter, you're not quite as popular as you think."
Harry couldn't believe it. Someone who's never read Harry Potter, how could that be. He soon found himself swaying on his feet in disbelief. Suddenly everything went black and he hit the ground like a ton of bricks.