For Your Eyes Only, a doctor who fanfic

John Smith, also known as The Doctor, is sitting in his studio and rehearsing for his upcoming tour in a few days. His agent, Missy, is on the phone and is checking the last details with the venues and promoters for the tour. He's been rehearsing for almost three hours when they decide it's enough for the day.

„Good work, guys" said the Doctor to his bandmates. Jack Harkness, the bassist, gives him a pat on the back and is packing up his things and leaves. David, the drummer, and Matt, the lead guitarist, are also heading out after saying a quick goodbye to the Doctor.

„I talked with a few more promoters and it's really looking good for you. I might be able to book a few more shows if you're interested. But we can also wait after you finish your next album and then start a big world tour. What do you think?" asked Missy. John thought for a few seconds and then replied: „I'd say we finish this tour in the UK and then next year we'll make a world tour.". Missy nodded her head and also left the Doctor's studio.

Now the Doctor is alone and he decides it's a good time to rest, so he's sitting down on the couch, which stands in the corner of his studio. Just as he sat down, his phone started ringing. He's pulling the phone out of his pocket and checks the caller ID – it's Clara. The moment he saw her name on the screen, his face light up and he got the biggest smile on his face.

„Hey Clara!" he picks up the phone. „Hello John!" she replies, „I was wondering if you have any plans for tonight or if you would like to come over and order some pizza and watch some TV?". „Of course, I'd love to.", he answered her question. „What time should I be at your place?"

„Well, we have 5pm. So I guess around 7pm. So I shower first and order the pizza, okay?".

„Definitely" he replied. „I will be there at 7pm!"

Right after he finished his call, he's cleaning up and locking his studio. He's on his way back home to shower and put on some different clothes. After 25 minutes he arrives at his home and his heading to his shower. 15 minutes later he has finished his shower and is getting dresssed. He's taking his key, phone and wallet and puts everything in his pockets. Then he closes the door and is taking the lift downstairs and is leaving the apartment. Outside a few fans are waiting for him and want to take some pictures with him and get his autograph, which he gladly does.

He's really grateful for his fans, because he never thought he would make it so far and he will always cherish it. After a quick chat, he's taking the cab which is waiting in front of his house. Another 25 minutes later and he's standing in front of Clara's apartment. Before he leaves the cab, he pays the driver and gives him a generous tip. Then he's getting out of the car and is making his way to the door and is ringing the doorbell.

A few moments later, Clara is opening the door and is surprised to see John standing in front of her. „Hey, what are you already doing here? You're early.". „Sorry, didn't mean to be that early. I can come back later if you want." he replied with a smile. „No, you can stay. Just didn't expect you this early. The pizza won't arrive before 7pm, though." Clara answered with a smile on her face.

„That's no problem. So we have more time to catch up. We haven't talked in a week. It's about time, don't you think?".

„Yes, I missed you." she said and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back and inhaled her scent. „I missed you too.". Then she bids him in and they settle down in her living room on the couch and began talking about what they have done in the past week. She asked him about his tour, rehearsals, etc. and he asked her about her teaching and some other random stuff.

Both were completly absorbed in the conversations that they were startled when the doorbell rang. Then they realized that already 45 minutes have passed and the person on the door was probably the pizza delivery boy. Clara quickly got up and got the door to get the pizza, while John went to the kitchen to get them some drinks.

They settled down on the couch again and started watching a movie. Not much attention was payed to the TV, because they kept talking and had a great time. After they finished the pizza, they lounged back on the couch and concentrated on the movie. Halfway through the film they got closer and now they were cuddled up on the couch together, with John stroking up and down Clara's arm and hand. She enjoyed it a lot and got sleepy because of his actions.

Once the movie was finished, John wanted to get up, but Clara fell asleep and he didn't want to move and wake her up. Instead he made himself a little bit more comfortable and admired her sleeping form. Her brown hair and her roundish but definitely beautiful face. Soon after he dirfted to sleep as well and they both woke up the next morning.

When Clara woke up she was a little bit confused about her surroundings, but then she remembered that she fell asleep while watchin a movie with John. Then she felt his arms protectively around her and she turned around to find him sleeping next to her. With a smile on her face she looked at him. She's had a crush on him for a while now, but she is afraid to give into this feelings. She just doesn't want to get hurt. Not again.

She begins tracing her fingers on his face and puts them in his grey hair. She always loved his hear. Especially when he lets it grow longer. Even though he's older, she finds him extremely hot. But Clara always has been into older men. Starting with some of her teachers while she was in school. After a while John began to stir and slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Clara looking at him. He instantly began to smile.

„Good morning" he said to Clara.

„Morning, sleepyhead" she replied back.

„You fell asleep first, in case you forgot."

„Of course I didn't forget. Wanna get some breakfast?" Clara asked him.

„Yes, but do you even have something to eat here. Because if I remeber correctly, you don't really have a lot of food at home." he answered her.

They decided to get out and eat breakfast at the little diner around the corner. Both of them got ready and then they left Clara's apartment. They talked a little bit more about their lives and The Doctor's upcoming tour. It's only a small tour in the UK. 7 shows in 7 different cities in 10 days. Cardiff, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Leeds, Bristol and London. The last show is in London and after that he's taking a little break to work on the new album.

With the promise of seeing each other agian they parted ways. Clara had to go to school to teach and John has still to work on the setlist and he also had rehearsals to do. Only a few days later the tour began. Clara and John had seen each other only once in that ime. He invited her to the first show of the tour. She gladly accepted and decided to bring Amy – her best friend – with her.

Today was the day – the first day of the tour. John was busy with preparing everything for tonight. Clara was excited to finally see him again. These past few days have been hard on her, because the feelings for him grew everyday. And she decided to tell him that today. When she and Amy walked in the venue, she saw him and his bandmates in the hallway.

Approaching him she greeted him and pulled him in for a hug. But this time he didn't hug her back. Confused she pulled back and looked at him. He seemed to be a completly different man now. Then Missy came around the corner and told him that he only had 30 minutes left until the show begins. He said „See you later." to Clara and went away with his band and Missy.

Clara had tears in her eyes and started wondering what she had done to deserve a treatment like this. Why was he so cold and distanced? Amy noticed that something was off with her best friend, so she pulled her into John's dressing room and asked her what's wrong.

She then explained to her that she didn't understand why John's behaviours was so different from the one days before. She told her that she had feelings for him and wanted to confess them to him today. She was really disappointed and sad to see John acting like that. She's used that he's acting a little bit differently when they are both out in public – but never like that.

Clara also told Amy about the night where they both fell asleep on her couch and that he kept running his hand up and down her arm the whole time.

Amy didn't know what to say. „Oh Clara, I don't understand this either. It seems like, from what you told, that he's totally into you. So I don't know what to say about his behaviour. It's odd. Maybe you should talk to him about it."

„No, I don't think I can do that. What if he doesn't feel the same? I don't want to risk our friendship just because of some stupid feelings I have for him. He's more important to me than that." she replied with tears in her eyes.

Amy pulled Clara in for a hug. Little did they know that John was standing outside his dressing room the whole time and heard their conversation.

After not hearing anything for a few minutes he decided to go into his dressing room. Amy and Clara were still inside. „Oh, I didn't want to disturb you. Just wanted to get my guitar." he said when he entered his room. „No, you didn't. I hope it was okay that we went into your dressing room." the readhead answered. „Of course, no big deal."

Then he looked at Clara and noticed her red eyes. „Everything okay?" he asked her. Of course he knew the answer, but he was wondering if Clara would tell him. „Yes, everything is good. Thank you for inviting us tonight.".

„Thank you for being there" he replied sincerely and looked deep into her eyes.

Clara's eyes began to water and when John noticed, he asked Amy to leave them alone for a few minutes.

Amy looked over to Clara and she nodded her head. After that Amy left the room and let them alone.

„Why are you lying to me? You don't look like everything's okay." he asked with concern in his eyes.

„I am not." she replied sternly.

„Please Clara, just tell me. I want to make it better. Is it something I have done?" he begged her.

Now Clara began to get mad. How stupid can this man be? How can he not know?!

„Are you fucking kidding me?! No one can be this stupid! When I came in and saw you in the hallway, you acted like you didn't know me. You were really cold and distanced. What did I do to deserve such a treatment?" she replied angrily. „When we're alone you're being really nice, caring, kind, sweet, affectionate and so on. And you don't shy away from any form of touching. But when we're in public I can't even hug you just to say hello?! Why are you acting like this?!"

John stood there and didn't know how to reply. He opened his mouth trying to form some words but nothing came out. Clara then had enough and left the dressing room. She said Amy that she didn't feel like staying to watch the concert. Amy understood her and they both left. John still stood dumbfounded in his room, when Missy entered and hurried him onto the stage. It was time to start the first show of this tour.

Of course John played the whole set, but his mind kept drifting off to Clara. He thought about her words and knew what Clara was talking about. He always had problems with being affectionate in public. After the show was over and he thanked his fans for coming, he went back to his dressing room, pulled out his phone and dialled Clara's number. She didn't pick up. He tried calling a few more times, but she never answered. Then he wrote a sms and apologized.

John was never good with women. So he decided to call his sister. She picked up on the third ring. „Hey, big brother! How are you?" Donna asked. „I'm fine. Listen, can we meet tomorrow for lunch? I'm in Manchester for my second show tomorrow. Do you have time?".

„Of course, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"

„Bye" he replied.

The next day they met for lunch and John told her about his fight with Clara. He wanted to know what to do about it. Donna explained to him why Clara acted that way and she totally understood Clara's reaction. Donna has met Clara a few times and when she first saw them together, she knew they were made for each other. She talked a few times with Clara and she knew that she definitely was crushing on her big brother. But she also knew from the beginning, that John was captivated by her and had feelings for her.

John thanked Donna for helping him out and he invited Donna and her family to his last show in London. She thanked him and accepted the invitation. John kept repeating the conversation between Clara and him in his head. And then he got an idea how to make it up to her and get her back.

The next few days he spent every free minute working on a new song. He wanted to play this song live on his last show on this tour. He also experimented with different instruments and styles of music. One day before the show in London he has finished the song.

He tried calling Clara again in these few days, but she never picked up. The next day was the final show of the tour and he wanted to have her at this show – to sing the song he wrote for her.

He tried calling again and it went straight to mailbox. He left a message. „Hey Clara, it's me, John. I'm so sorry for my behaviour. I acted like an idiot. Please come to the last show in London tomorrow. Gonna put you on the guest list. I know I owe you a lot more than a simple apology, I know, but please come tomorrow. I will make it up to you. You can also bring Amy. See you then – or not. I don't want to pressure you. Okay. Bye.".

After he ended the call he hit his head on the wall and murmured „I am an idiot. Worst phonecall ever...". After a few minutes he called some people to prepare everything for the show tomorrow. He called in some favors and around 9pm everything was organized. He then went to bed, because the show tomorrow is probably the most important show of his life.

Clara checked her phone and saw that she again had some missed calls from John. She checked her voicemail. After hearing his message she had to smile a little bit. She then called Amy and told her about the phonecall and the invitation for the show in London. Amy asked her if she wanted to go, but Clara wasn't sure yet. Of course she wanted to see him again. She missed him like crazy in these past few days. They talked for a few hours until Clara went to bed. She decided that she and Amy would go to the show. With a smile on her face she fell asleep.

10 days went by really fast. Now was the last show of the UK tour. The last show before the break. John woke up well rested but with a nervous flattering in his belly. He took a shower, got dressed and ate some breakfast. He checked his phone, but no message from Clara.

Later he headed to the venue and was doing the soundcheck. He was pretty excited about the new song he was gonna play. In his head he kept running the lines of the new song. He gave the notes to the band the day before. He didn't play this song at the soundcheck, because he wanted to play it live for the first time tonight. Not before.

Soon it was already afternoon and the fans were already lined up outside and waited to get in. John went out for a short walk and chatted with a few fans and took some selfies. He smiled politely at them and wished them fun at the show tonight. 30 minutes later he finished his walk and went back to the venue. When he arrived he found Donna and her husband in his dressing room. He was happy to see her there and she pulled him into a tight embrace. He hesitantly hugged her back. „Thank you for coming tonight, Donna!" he said her. „I wouldn't miss it for the world. I heard something that you might play a new song tonight. Is this true?". John sighed. „Yes, I will play a new song tonight. How do you know that already?! Who told you?". „Not gonna reveal my sources, but I'm pretty excited to hear it and I think Clara will like it.". Donna replied with a smug smile. „I don't know what you're talking about." he replied quickly. „Whatever you say" Donna said back.

It was almost time to start the show and John still hadn't seen Clara. He was really disappointed, because he wanted her here. Especially after seeing how they parted and not seeing each other for a while. He got his guitar out of his case and wanted to get to the stage, when he saw her. He wanted to say something – anyhing – but he didn't get a word out. Suddenly Missy appeared and told him it's time to get on stage. He quickly caught Clara's eye and gave her a little smile. He mouthed a Thank You in her direction and then got dragged by Missy to the stage.

Clara stopped breathing the moment she saw him. She thought she could do it, but the memories came flooding back from their fight and she was again on the verge of tears. Amy put a reassuring hand on Clara's back, rubbed up and down and asked if everything was okay. Clara calmed down, answered the question and then they went to their places. John got them tickets in the first row in an special area, only for invited guests.

The lights were dimmed and then, when the Doctor went on stage, everyone started screaming and went nuts! When he played the first chord on the guitar everyone lost their mind and they started chanting his name. The Doctor was wearing a hoodie with a printed shirt underneath, plaid trousers and of course his glasses. Then the rest of the band joined him and they played their fist songs. Everyone was singing along and dancing. Even Clara enjoyed herself a lot. He kept looking at her through his glasses, but she didn't see that.

After the first songs he removed his glasses and began talking about the show, about London, about how amazing his fans are and stuff like that. He played a lot of rock songs. He played all the favourite songs form his fans and he had an amazing time. The setlist is 24 songs long. He was nearly playing for 2 hours when it was time for the 22nd song on the setlist. It was the song he wrote for Clara.

Jack started to talk to the fans and told them that The Doctor wrote a special song which he will premier exclusively at tonight's show. The crew rolled a piano on the stage and there were also some violin players standing where Matt and Jack usually stood.

Then The Doctor went back on stage. He sat down at the piano and started talking to the crowd.

„So, I wrote a new song and I'm gonna play it tonight for the first time ever. I wrote this after I had a fight with my best friend. I don't really want to get in detail about what the fight was about, but I hurt her a lot and this was never my intention. This song is completly different from everything I have done before. A lot of you are gonna probably say that it sucks and that you don't like it. But this song is really important to me. It's probably the most personal I've ever written..." Then his eyes went around the crowd until he finally he spotted her. „I hope you forgive me. This song is for you." he said right before starting to play the song.

If I could fly
I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might give up everything
Just ask me to
Pay attention
I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless

For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only

I've got scars even though they can't always be seen
And pain gets hard
But now you're here and I don't feel a thing
Pay attention
I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless

This part he's now singing directly at Clara, looking into her eyes...

I can feel your heart inside of mine
I feel it, I feel it
I'm going out of my mind
I feel it, I feel it
Know that I'm just wasting time
And I
Hope that you don't run from me

His eyes are wandering between the piano, the crowd and Clara...

For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half for me when we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half for me when we're apart
Now you know me

For your eyes only...
For your eyes only...

The last line he's singing while directly looking at Clara again.

For your eyes only...

During the song Clara got tears in her eyes. John could see that. But after finishing the song she was crying. Amy hugged her but Clara couldn't stop crying. She never had heard anything so beautiful. And the fact that John wrote this song for her, made her sob even more. John also had tears in his eyes after the performance.

The crowd went crazy. They all loved the song. They rolled the piano backstage and after a few minutes the Doctor was back with guitar in his hand and ready to rock the last two songs.

After finishing his set, he went backstage and Missy was already waiting for him – furious. „What do you think you are doing?! Playing a brand new song without my permission? Without any promotion? And then it's a song like that. What the fuck is going on with you?" Missy glared at him. John ignored her and went to his dressing room. On his way he saw Donna. „This song was so beautiful. I loved it. And I'm pretty sure Clara loved it too. If you weren't my brother and wrote this song for me, I would never let you go."

„Thank you, Donna. I hope she liked it too and I didn't screw up everything." he replied. „I don't think so. She's waiting for you in your dressing room. Good luck." and she went to the bar.

John took a deep breath. His heart was beating really fast. Clara. In his dressing room. After he played her a song. He needed to calm down. He slowly went to his room and found Clara sitting on his couch.

„Hey" he said.

„Hi" she replied. „Great show tonight. Thank you for inviting me."

„Thank you for being there. This means a lot to me."

„So, about that song... You wrote that for me? That's why you're acting like this when we're in public. Why didn't you say anything?"

„I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same thing and I didn't want to screw our friendship up." he answered calmly and went to sit on the couch next to her.

She turned her body to look at him and laughed lightly „I thought I would screw our friendship up... I've had these feelings for you for some time now but I was never brave enought to say it to you.". She inched closer to him. „Oh Clara, we both were just so stupid. We could have been together the whole time. But it's not to late, right?". He got even closer to her.

„Definitely not" she answered with a smile on her face.

Now they were face to face and they could feel the breath of each other on their faces.

John put his hand to her cheek and touched her face with fingers. She leanted into his touch and enjoyed the feeling of his hand on her skin. They rested their forehands on each other and their breaths mingled. „Can I kiss you?" she asked him with hesitation. „Always." he replied and their lips touched.

They slowly began exploring each other. Hands roaming, tongues duelling for dominance and the sensation of finally giving into these feelings they both had for each other so long.

When the need for air was too much, they pulled apart but kept their faces close to each other. „Thank you for not giving up on me."

„Thank you for exactly the same."