Furball.
"Ow! Damned cat! Get here or I'll tell Hermione you jumped out of the Gryffindor tower," Severus mumbled under his breath as Crookshanks bit him and escaped his grasp for the fourth time in as many minutes.
"Severus? Have you got him?" Hermione called from the living room.
"Have I got him?" Severus repeated, flinching as he hit his head on the bed above him. Honestly! On the floor under the bloody bed after her cat!
"Severus?"
"NO! He's bitten me again. I told you to get he bloody thing," he yelled back, slowly extracting himself from under the bed.
Hermione shook her head and put the last of the bedding into the open trunk on the living room floor. Closing the lid, she added it to the pile of others by the door ready for the move.
Hermione wasn't dumb. Crookshanks was the worst cat when it came to catching him and putting him into his cat-basket so she'd wisely given the task to Severus, who'd never done it before.
She looked up as he entered from the corridor to the bedroom, "No luck?"
He didn't reply; the scowl on his face and well scratched hands said it all.
Standing, Hermione cast a series of healing charms on his hands and kissed his knuckles. "I'll go try then," she sighed, releasing his hands. "Just make sure you've got some serious healing charms ready for me when I get back."
"Why? He can't scratch you, too?" Severus asked, obviously confused. "He's never done anything like that when I'm around."
Hermione laughed. "No, but he's sure as hell not going to go willingly into the cat-basket! Regardless of who's putting him in it, Severus."
Pushing her sleeves up, she passed him and entered the bedroom, careful not to let Crooks out.
Closing the door, Hermione looked about cautiously for her feline friend. Although at times like these, fiend was more accurate.
There
In the corner under Severus' wardrobe.
Slowly she advanced, cooing and calling softly to him. "Come on, Crooks, want some foods?" She dropped to her knees in front of the wardrobe and held out her hand as, slowly and wary for hidden baskets, he emerged.
Hermione scratched his head for a moment before moving to pick him up, getting a swipe on the back of the hand for her efforts.
"Crooks!" Hermione yelled, pulling her hand out of reach.
Severus looked around the living room of his dungeon quarters wistfully. Truth be told he loved these rooms, but now that he was self-employed and Hermione was living with him, they had no reason to stay at Hogwarts. Life-time tenure and accommodation or not the rooms were too small and not in the right location.
He cast a series of charms, levitating what objects were left on the shelves into the last trunk and once they were loaded, began shrinking the pile of trunks near the door.
Hermione's taking a while, he wondered, maybe I'll go give her a hand.
Crookshanks hissed and backed up until he was at the back of the wardrobe top.
Hermione sighed and avoided scratching her hands, now covered in scratches. "You know you're lucky I won't stun you, you little bugger," she said huffily as she got to her feet once again.
The sound of the door caught her attention as Severus slipped inside quickly. "Sod principles, Hermione," he said, one eyebrow raised in amusement. "Stun the little-"
"NO!" Hermione said. "He's a kneasle and while it would make moving him easier, he'd not forget it and he'd be hell to live with later."
Severus nodded, seeing what she meant. "So shall we try a two person 'attack'?" he suggested, motioning to the wardrobe laden cat with a nod of his head.
"Yes, that might work," Hermione smiled, and continued, "But you get the clawed end."
"Oh, well thank you, Miss Granger," Severus replied sarcastically. "For that you have to be the one to feed him when we move into the cottage."
Hermione nodded and hid her smile. It's a good job he doesn't know that's the easiest part to this ordeal.
"Well then, shall we?" she asked.
After a great many attempts and a great number of both cat and furniture induced injuries, Serverus and Hermione got Crookshanks – thereafter known as 'The Little Sodding Furball' – into his cat-basket and moved from the Hogwarts dungeons and into a nice old cottage.
Hermione fed Crookshanks once they moved and he ate without so much as a hiss toward Hermione… much to Severus' dismay.
The one thing that they never thought of – and something Crookshanks thought was rather stupid of them – was to just ask him to get in the basket.
It's not like he's an idiot, after all.