Addicted to Perfection
Demyx sat in his room. His sitar in his hands, he stroked it gently and beautifully. The sky was dark with night and Kingdom Hearts greeted him from his window. He hadn't left his room all day; it was too dangerous to go. If he'd left he'd loose that…that…melodic touch, that inspiration, as he expressed his feelings through writing perfection. He played it over, and if it wasn't perfection, it was booted. He couldn't settle for anything but perfection when it came to this music. It was about someone…perfect. He'd watched her before, her movements named with grace and beauty. She was full of insecurities, yet she turned heads wherever she went. He saw through her rough attitude. They were friends, best friends, but that didn't settle the hole in that place. That place where his heart used to be. He needed to do this.
"Nobodies can't love." He was told over and over. Well what was it then? He more than just liked her…he more than just cared about her with passions deeper than all of the oceans ever. What else could it be? It had to be love, deep passionate love. She was the most perfect thing to grace his eye, and he would not play her mediocre or alright…he would play her perfect. Because that's what she is. She deserves it. He needed to do this.
He'd spent days, maybe even weeks on this piece. It was the most important thing he had ever done. It was for her. His friends: her; Axel; Roxas; Xigbar; hell, even Saïx once, begged him to stop. "It's not healthy."; "You're ADDICTED to her!"; "You can't do this to yourself, got it memorized?"; "You're worrying us!"; "You need to get your work done, Number IX!"; "You HAVE to stop for a sec, man!" They don't love like he does. They don't understand. He needed to do this.
She made him feel like a somebody. With a beating heart and pumping blood. He couldn't stop. Stopping would ruin it. If it was ruined, he'd never forgive himself. This, to him, was like writing her. Creating her all over again, and if he stopped with the rhythm, the FLOW, it'd all fall apart. He'd have to start over. He had to communicate his love the best he could, and that was through his second love: music. He hadn't slept. He hadn't eaten. He hadn't even talked that much. His determination was the highest it'd ever been. He knew it couldn't be healthy, but none of that mattered. He loved her, would do anything for her, and this is what needed to happen for her. He needed to do this.
The perfect notes slid from pen to paper. He tested out each line he finished on his sitar. Not perfect. He rewrote it. He tested it again. Yes. That was it. That's what he felt. That's what she did to him. It had been a week…maybe two. He wasn't counting. She opened his door many times to check on him. To scold him, maybe. "Demyx, you need to take a break. It's been three weeks." Okay, he was off by a week. He didn't answer her, he couldn't. "Demyx you're starting to scare me. If you don't stop you are going to die." She would say to him plenty of times. Her care for him was so pure. So clean and wonderful. If only she knew. He couldn't tell her. That'd ruin it. Eventually, she would give up and leave, sometimes crying. She didn't understand just yet. He needed to do this.
Tears spilled from his darkened eyes because it was so beautiful. It actually hurt him physically to put this on paper, and though the music said nothing with words, it explained everything with a not. He included every memory he had shared with her. The good ones, the bad ones, the amazing ones, the awful, horrible, dreadful, tantalizing, rebellious, everything. This wasn't in major or minor. It was everything. Like a symphony, but better. He was taking every part of him, making himself so vulnerable, just for her. He loved her with everything he had…no…more than that! it wasn't perfect enough yet! It has to be as perfect as she is! It is her! It is him! It is them! Together! How it is, how he dreams of it being, all on these sheets of music he flowed on. Paper overflowed in the wastebasket. Those were nothing compared to what they had! What they needed to have! What they must have! It hurt him. It hurt so much. He couldn't let himself feel the pain, the tiredness, the hunger, the anger, no emotions but love. Love came to him in numerous ways, and he expressed every way on these sheets. He needed to do this.
If anything happened to these, if he lost them…it'd be like losing his soul. He would just die. It would kill him. Seriously. "If you don't quit right now, I'm going to burn those things for your own good!" Axel would threaten. Demyx knew he wasn't really going to do that. Axel didn't want to kill his friend. He needed to do this.
"Is it really that important to you?" He asked him finally one day.
Like before, Demyx can't speak right now. He hadn't said one word. He only nodded weakly. He needed to do this.
"She's this important to you?" he asked.
Another weak nod. He needed to do this.
"I guess nobodies can love…that's the only way to explain this." He wished Demyx luck and closed the door. Axel knew now, he needed to do this.
Note after note, the song built up and up, climbing, not falling. It was really long so far, but it didn't matter. Knowing her her whole life, he knew that she would listen to every last note he played. He wasn't finished yet though…it was perfect, but it still needed more! It was not her yet! He kept going. He needed to do this!
Another week later, on Wednesday of that week, Demyx had added the last notes to his song…no…his melody to her. The last notes: I love you with all the heart and soul you give me, Toxen. Toxen loved music, too. She could read notes like he could. She would know everything he said to her through the song, which is ten hours, forty six minutes, and 59 seconds long. He played it over countless times to make sure this melody was perfection and nothing but it. It was. He was finally finished. It was the most beautiful thing that had ever touched his senses. Like her. It finally was her. She was beautiful, perfect in every way. And that's what the song was. Toxen. He wrote Toxen at the top of the melody, its title. It was finally a perfect representation of her. So much time he had put into this…and it was all worth it. Toxen had made his heart. His own heart. It was there when he thought of her, there when she was with him, there whenever something to do with her popped up. The feeling beat in his chest like a drum. He was complete. He had done it.
He laminated all the sheets and gently placed them in a purple folder, because that was her favorite color. He placed it on his desk, and went to go shower. When he had finished, he dressed, fixed himself up, and lay on his bed. He was sooooo tired now…as soon as he hit that last note, all his emotions he had pushed aside for love rushed toward him, like an avalanche. He ate something, and closed his eyes, only enter dreams of Toxen. Her face when she heard the song, how she would react…all of it. It was so beautiful. He had done it.
While Demyx slept away, Axel peeked in on him. He grinned at the boy finally sleeping! It was miraculous! He closed the door whispering, "Good luck, Demyx." He smirked to himself and told Roxas, "He had done it."
Demyx slept for a day and a half. No one bothered him, knowing he needed that rest. He opened his refreshed eyes, a smile gracing his lips as he sat up eagerly. He had done it!
He wasn't done yet; there was still one thing he needed to do. Running to the Grey Area, he grabbed Toxen's arm. "I need to show you something!" The first words that had left his mouth after not talking for four weeks. He had finally done it!
He sat Toxen down on his bed. "I wrote you a melody." He began to strum his sitar, making sure all his notes were perfect. Then, he began. He was finally doing it!
Toxen's reactions throughout the perfect melody were everything he expected them to be. She laughed at the funny memories, cried at the sad ones, smiled at the good times, smirked at the rebellious times, everything. Tears stayed in her eyes, happy ones. She was so touched by the strong melody. She listened to every note, telling a precious story that she knew well. Ten hours, forty six minutes, and 59 seconds later, she cried so beautifully as Demyx placed his sitar down. "You…You wrote that for me? You sat in your room for 25 uninterrupted days to compose a beautiful song about us?" He had FINALLY done it.
"The melody had to be as perfect as you. It had to touch me like you do. I had to stay here and write it because…" he picked up the sitar and strummed that last couple notes again. "I love you with all the heart and soul you give me, Toxen." He has FINALLY done it!
"I love you, too!" She yelled, pulling him toward her and kissing him sweetly and hungrily. This was the moment he'd dreamed of, sparks flew in his mind. It was better than his mind could ever make up, it was amazing. The kissed for three minutes, and she pulled away from him. "I love you so much." He has FINALLY done it!
Axel heard this from the door. He heard some of the song, enough to know the point. He couldn't read music like they could, but he knew it meant something amazing. He wiped a tear from his eye. "They've finally done it." He walked away.
"Play it again!" Toxen begged.
"I'd be happy to." They've finally done it.