Written in response to Jae Gecko's Secrets challenge. Set between 'The Choice' and 'Fractures'.
Exchange
By Andraste
When Aeryn finds the message Stark left for her, she manages to feel something other than hollow grief for the first time. She is grateful for the feeling, uncertain about the message. If he had known this ever since he bonded with Talyn, why didn't he warn them in advance?
Still, the question is easy to ignore while anger is leading her down to Talyn's lower decks where Crais is fixing one of the minor mechanical faults that plague the growing ship. Aeryn is swinging to strike while he's still turning to greet her.
The first blow finds his shoulder, and he cries out in surprise as much as pain. But because she is emotional, imprecise, out of training, he catches her wrist on the second pass and holds it fast. She kicks him hard in the knee, but his grip tightens reflexively instead of breaking, and he blocks her other hand easily now that she has no room to maneuver.
"Aeryn?"
His eyes hold hers, confused and concerned, and it turns her stomach. She knows that Crais won't so much as bruise her, even in self-defence, but she still backs off and pulls away.
She does not want him to touch her.
"What are you -?" he begins, before his puzzlement vanishes all at once. "The Banick told you."
"He said you offered to *sell* Crichton to my mother when you left her alive! To save yourself -"
"To save Talyn," he corrects, pausing the way he always does when uncertain of his words. "To save you. It is as I said - I made a deal, for all of us."
Aeryn remembers the way Crais used to look at his brother, back when he was a captain and she was just a Prowler pilot, and realizes that his definition of 'us' has always been so small. Of course, hers was smaller still and now it has shrunk away into nothing.
"You made no deal for Crichton. You would have given the wormhole technology to Scorpius!"
"Crichton told me to take care of you."
"I do not need your protection!" She spits the words out. "There is no excuse -"
"Your mother killed your father, to save you. P'au Zhota Zhaan gave her life, to save you." Crais shot her mother, to save her. He doesn't admit that aloud. "Crichton died to keep wormholes from the Scarrans, but he would never have allowed *you* to die. John Crichton loved you, and if you could trade another life for his return ..."
With that, he turns on his heel and walks away, task unfinished, not wanting to voice the logical conclusion: if it would bring John back, Aeryn would give Crais to anyone at all.
She knows the truth now: this is love.
Not knowing what else to do, she picks up the tools Crais was working with, and bends to finish what he began. It keeps her from wondering if this means John loved wormholes more than he loved her.
The End
Exchange
By Andraste
When Aeryn finds the message Stark left for her, she manages to feel something other than hollow grief for the first time. She is grateful for the feeling, uncertain about the message. If he had known this ever since he bonded with Talyn, why didn't he warn them in advance?
Still, the question is easy to ignore while anger is leading her down to Talyn's lower decks where Crais is fixing one of the minor mechanical faults that plague the growing ship. Aeryn is swinging to strike while he's still turning to greet her.
The first blow finds his shoulder, and he cries out in surprise as much as pain. But because she is emotional, imprecise, out of training, he catches her wrist on the second pass and holds it fast. She kicks him hard in the knee, but his grip tightens reflexively instead of breaking, and he blocks her other hand easily now that she has no room to maneuver.
"Aeryn?"
His eyes hold hers, confused and concerned, and it turns her stomach. She knows that Crais won't so much as bruise her, even in self-defence, but she still backs off and pulls away.
She does not want him to touch her.
"What are you -?" he begins, before his puzzlement vanishes all at once. "The Banick told you."
"He said you offered to *sell* Crichton to my mother when you left her alive! To save yourself -"
"To save Talyn," he corrects, pausing the way he always does when uncertain of his words. "To save you. It is as I said - I made a deal, for all of us."
Aeryn remembers the way Crais used to look at his brother, back when he was a captain and she was just a Prowler pilot, and realizes that his definition of 'us' has always been so small. Of course, hers was smaller still and now it has shrunk away into nothing.
"You made no deal for Crichton. You would have given the wormhole technology to Scorpius!"
"Crichton told me to take care of you."
"I do not need your protection!" She spits the words out. "There is no excuse -"
"Your mother killed your father, to save you. P'au Zhota Zhaan gave her life, to save you." Crais shot her mother, to save her. He doesn't admit that aloud. "Crichton died to keep wormholes from the Scarrans, but he would never have allowed *you* to die. John Crichton loved you, and if you could trade another life for his return ..."
With that, he turns on his heel and walks away, task unfinished, not wanting to voice the logical conclusion: if it would bring John back, Aeryn would give Crais to anyone at all.
She knows the truth now: this is love.
Not knowing what else to do, she picks up the tools Crais was working with, and bends to finish what he began. It keeps her from wondering if this means John loved wormholes more than he loved her.
The End