To Settle
Annmarie Aspasia
They were married when they were twenty five years old.
Her wedding day was one of the happier days of her life, but also one of the saddest, because it was the day she truly admitted she had given up. The man who still held her heart would never come back, and by marrying another -no matter how much the other man loved her- she was admitting it. And she did love the other man- simply, not quite enough.
They were happy, after a manner. They had one daughter, and then another. Occasionally her husband annoyed her, but he always apologized. She made him a better person, he told her, and she did. In order to be worthy of her, he changed so much about himself- so very much.
He was named Hokage when they were twenty seven years old, and she could not have been happier for him. She enjoyed the prestige, and she was proud of his accomplishments, happy that he had been able to keep his vow. He was kind and gentle and loving, and she laughed the second day after he had been introduced to paperwork, when he came home after less than an hour and explained that he had left twenty shadow clones to do the work. If anyone needed him, they could find him here, where he belonged; with his family.
Still, the hurt she saw in his eyes when he caught her gazing at the old picture of their team ate into her happiness. It seemed as if every day -and she knew this was an exaggeration, but it felt like every day- she did something to remind him that he was her second choice, her second-place love, and because she did love him (just not enough) it pained her to see the anguish in his eyes. There was some bitterness as well, the faintest trace of anger that her husband wasn't him, wasn't the one she truly wanted. He was merely the one she had settled for.
It wasn't until he lay on his deathbed, eyes closed for the final time, and she allowed the memories of his kindness and his generosity to wash over her that she realized the truth.
Sakura had not settled for Naruto – she had never been good enough for that bright, sunny, eternally unselfish man. He had settled for her.
~Annmarie