No no no no no, this can't be happening.

Jyn Erso stared at her reflection in the 'fresher mirror, fresh throw-up in the commode. Shakily, she wiped her mouth, and dragged her hand down her face. This was the fourth time this week she had thrown up in the morning. Pushing her hair back, she exited the room to find Cassian waiting for her, concerned.

"Are you sure you're alright? Do you want a medic?"

Jyn forced a smile onto her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Cassian looked unconvinced, but he nodded all the same. But later, when Cassian left for a meeting, Jyn slipped into Shara and Kes Dameron's room with the emergency code she had been given. Rummaging through a cabinet in the 'fresher, she found what she was looking for. She checked to make sure the room was empty, then took the test.

It was positive.

Jyn began to panic. She sank to her knees, she wasn't ready for this, gripped her hair to to tight, she can't do this.

"Jyn?!"

Shara stood at the door, bright orange flight suit sleeves tied around her waist.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, Jyn, tell me what's the matter," She ordered gently.

With a shaky hand, she held out the device. Shara let out a whooshing breath when she was it.

"Okay, here, let's sit down."

She helped Jyn up and sat her down on the double bed, then handed her a cup of water. Jyn guped it all down, and leaned back against the wall.

"I can't do this, Shara, I'm not a mother!" She immediately started, panicking again.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me. Look at me. Okay, have you told Cassian? I mean I assume he is-?" She trailed off.

Jyn nodded weakly.

"So have you told him?"

Jyn shook her head. Shara took a breath, and nodded.

"Okay, so, are you going to?"

Jyn froze.

"I - I don't know."

Shara took her hand.

"Look, Cassian deserves to know. You need to tell him. Okay? Whatever happens next is completely up to you."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Shara smile a little. She gestured to the door.

"I hate to do this to you, but I need to get ready to meet Kes and Poe for diner."

Jyn jumped up.

"Yeah, yeah 'course, I'll, uh, see you later."

Shara called her name just as she reached the door. She gave Jyn a pointed look.

"Tell him."

Jyn responded with a nod and a smile.

Jyn didn't tell Cassian, not immediately anyway. He didn't push her for answers for questions, why are you ignoring me, why don't you talk to me, why are you avoiding me and my questions. She almost wished he would.

One night, six days later, she woke with a start, tangled up in Cassian. She couldn't shake the images from her head, a child, blood, blood on her hands, blood all over, Cassian angry, a childchildchildchild. She sat up, sweaty, swung her legs over the side, slipped out of her room. Thoughts filled her head, bloody thoguhts, angry,anguished,terrified, and then she was sobbing, horribly, sinking to her knees, doubled over.

And then hands, arms, chest, covered her, pulled her against it.

"Jyn, Jyn, Stardust, please, Jyn, I'm scared, please," Cassian begged.

"I can't, Cassian, I can't, I should've told you, I'm sorry, I'm terrified," she sobbed against his shoulder.

"Jyn, Jyn, what?"

"I can't be a mother, I can't."

Cassian froze against her.

"You're pregnant?"

Jyn began crying harder.

"Hey, hey, I'm not mad, I'm thrilled, I just, why didn't you tell me?" Then,

"You are still pregnant, right?"

Jyn nodded and looked up at him.

"Cassian, I'm not made to be a mother."

Cassian's face harder ever so slightly.

"Jyn, there's to much death in the galaxy already. Jyn, I want my child. I want our child."

"I know, I know, I'm just so, so scared. What if I hurt it? What if I -"

"Jyn. Honestly, this is the most scared I've ever been in my life, and that's saying something. But we can do this together, figure it out, and we'll love it so much. We can do it."

Jyn tugged him down suddenly, to press her lips to his, hot and desperate and needy, because she needs him now more than ever, and she needs to know he'll never leave.

He let's her know this, later that night, when he kisses her deeply and touches her loving and makes her see stars. And she knows, she knows, he'll be there for them both.