Swapperoo
Rose: And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?
Ten: (intimately leans down and urgently whispers in her ear) Trust me. Just go along with this... Now kiss me!
Rose: (Hollywood kiss: no tongue; it's a kids' show after all. And then the TARDIS starts to grind…) Gasp! (she runs towards the ship) Gasp!!
Ten: (walks to her, takes her hand in his, sotto-voiced) Well, that was well done!
Rose: (tears in her eyes, a look of horror on her face) What?!
Ten: (brilliant smile) Pulled it off just splendidly if I do say so myself!
Rose: (angrily) What are you nattering on about, you ghost?
Ten: I'm no ghost, I'm The Doctor.
Rose: (looks like she's about to smack him good and hard) Oh God, I know you are, but you're really not. You're not him at all and you never will be.
Ten: (exasperatedly) Oh Rose, chill out. Of course I am.
Rose: What?
Ten: (shrugs but has this bit of a gleam in his eyes) We swapped.
Rose: (a look of surprise mixed with... what? elation on her face) You mean?
Ten: (absolutely, immensely and ridiculously pleased with himself) You betcha! Planned it all out ahead of time! The joke's on Donna and Jack!
Rose: (realization taking hold) He took your place?
Ten: (clicks tongue) Yep! And I took his.
Rose: But what's going to happen to the other one?
Ten: Donna will tend to him, she's good at that. In some ways better than you could ever be. Maternal instinct and all.
Rose: (!!)
Ten: Besides, he's got Jack. Donna will never figure it out. For her one crazy Time Lord is the same as the next. Jack will know, of course, but Jack can keep a secret. Especially if it suits him. And this one will – I promise.
Rose: (still confused) But… the whole two hearts business. I felt only one heart.
Ten: Well, I've kept a few secrets too. Haven't I?
Rose: Huh?
Ten: Feel my chest again.
Rose: (puts a hand to his chest and is amazed) Two hearts...
Ten: I can make my two hearts beat as one. Hmmm… sounds like song lyrics. Think I have a future as a song writer?
Rose: But what about the new Doctor? He's mortal, he'll grow old, not regenerate...
Ten: (shaking his head) Nah… That was a distraction – all part of the act. He's a true Time Lord and he'll be just fine… He'll be a good Doctor: different, but good…
Rose: (looks down and sees her hand is still on his chest)
Ten: (also looks down and sees her hand is still on his chest) …how good depends a lot on Donna and Jack. But I believe they'll all be absolutely fantastic.
He smiles as he reaches for the hand resting on his chest and pulls her into him. This time there's tongue.