Sarah's thoughts about her mother
Disclaimer; dont own anything etc
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x--x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
I never forgot my mother. I never forgot her smile, her eyes, her beauty, I never forgot anything about her. When times got hard in Israel, she is the one that got me throught it. She may not have been there but she was with me in spirit, in my heart. She was the light guiding me through it. She saved me, and showed me the way.
It took me exactly 8 years, 4 months, 2 weeks, 4 days and 8 hours, well not that I was counting. Now I'm laying on the bed, her arms are wrapped tightly around me, and I am truly happy. She is here, it took me a while to find her again, but this time im never gonna let her go.
Her smile has the power to light the room like a thousand candlelights, and makes me feel so safe and secure.
Her eyes show so much love and affection, and when I see them I can't help but smile.
Her hugs are the best there is. When I was away from her, I missed them, I missed her, and now I have her back, I have to make up for that, she calls me soppy now, cause I hug her so much, but I don't mind, cause when she hugs me, it makes me feel safe, and secure, like nothing in the world can harm me, nothing in the world can go wrong because her arms are round me, keeping me safe, and warm.
She is always there for me, and I always want to be there for her. I love her so much, and I want to keep her safe, I need to protect her! I know she says she doesn't need protecting and that it is her job to protect me, and not the other way around, except the truth is I will always have a need to protect my family, especially my mother. She means the world to me. I need to keep her safe, because I'm terrified that I will lose her again, and truth be told I don't think I would be able to survive it again....life without her was terrible, it was like the sky with no sun, and the night without stars. I have seen terrible things in my life, and I hate the fact that in truth, I cannot protect my mother, just like I could not protect Thali, but I will try to, even if it costs me my life, because to me life is not worth living if it does not have her in it.
I sometimes find myself wondering whether she will get back with my father, whether or not they loved eachother, or if they still love eachother now. I always dreamt of knowing my father, that he would one day walk through the door and save me from the terrors of Israel, but he never came, and I know now that he never knew about me. Every child likes the idealisation that their parents are perfect and love eachother, I know that no-one is perfect, but I think that my mother is the closest you can possibly get to perfect.