A/N This is a group of one shots, where I'm hoping to stay as close to the original story as possible, but I want to do cool little musical tidbits. For example my first one will be Fabulous, but in order to stay in copy rights, I changed it, a lot. It needed to fit the fact that Mike wanted Bella to like him, so he starts talking like he's rich and in charge. THIS IS INTENDED TO BE FUNNY NOT SIRIOUS!!!
(Opens up with Mike talking to Eric, Jessica, and Lauren)
"So there is this new babe in the school, okay. She is hot stuff. She says she's form Arizona, but she's got no tan. I mean she's all pale, like those Cullens." Mike said. "GASP! " Jessica screamed, dropping her lipstick and mirror, "Take that back! Edward is MINE! I refuse to believe she is their newest 'acquisition." "Baby, relax. She didn't even know what Cullen was when she walked into the classroom. That was clearly her first time seeing him." Eric assured her."So! I don't care. I NEED Edward. I NEED HIM!" screeched Jessica. Eric, taking on the persona of a frightened puppy, instantly shrunk into himself, putting his hands up and backing away. "I've got it! What will do is pretend that we are the cool kids of the school, and that we are rich, and she'll flock to my, ahem our, arms."
(Start playing, or imagining a karaoke version of Fabulous. Like a version with out words.)
Mike:
Its out with the old and in with the new,
Goodbye clouds of Grey, hello eyes of brown
A sniff of her hair, a trip to the bed
Endless kisses from her
The whole High School according to moi
Excuse Me (fat nerd walks in front of him, looks, and then sticks out his tongue. ) Umm, Thank You
Pencils imported from England,
Hot babes imported from Spain,
Shirts imported from Turkey,
Turkey imported from Maine,
Mike and Eric:
We're gonna relax and renew,
Mike (Ordering around freshmen):
You, go, do!
I want gorgeous,
That is my simple request,
All things gorgeous,
Bigger and better and best,
I need something inspiring to help me get along,
I need a little gorgeous, is that so wrong?
(To Lauren)
Fetch me my New Balance tennies.
(To Eric)
Where is my Red Jansport pack?
(To Jessica)
I need my Rolex watch,
and then I can go eat.
Eric, Jessica, and Lauren:
A summer like never before
Mike:
I want more!
Eric, Jessica, and Lauren:
He wants fabulous,
That is his simple request,
All things fabulous,
Bigger and better and best,
She needs something inspiring to help her get along,
She needs a little fabulous is that so wrong?
Gorgeous school, gorgeous pads,
gorgeous parties even gorgeous trash,
Fabulous fashion, gorgeous bling,
He needs got gorgeous everything.
Eric and Mike (Mike on the table, Eric at his feet):
Nothing to discuss
everything's got to be perfect.
Mike (spinning on lunch table):
For...me!
Ryan:
He wants gorgeous,
that is his simple request,
all things gorgeous,
Bigger and better and best,
He needs something inspiring to help him get along,
He needs a little gorgeous, is that so wrong?
Mike:
(is shown a People magazine) this won't do, (is shown a Better Homes and Gardens) that's a bore,
(is shown a Twilight Film Fantasy) that's insulting, (is shown a Playboy) I need more!
I need, I need,
I need, I need,
I need, I need
I Need GOREGOUS!
Lauren and Jessica:
Gorgeous Hair, fabulous style,
Great eyes and that amazing blush.
(Bella walks into the cafeteria)
Mike:
I like what I see,
I like it a lot
Lauren and Jessica (Huddled around Mike):
Is this absolutely fabulous?
Eric:
Gorgeous, Goregeouser Gorgeousest?
(Bella motions for them to come sit next to her.)
Mike (turning around to see if she meant him):
Absolutely...(Edward and Jacob walk in drooling, with obvious bulge in pants.) NOT!
(Mike screams and turns around hitting the lunch trays out of the first people he meets hands, who just so happen to be Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie. Mike whimpers, and turns around screaming like a littlie girl.)
"See, I told you so. He is definitely gay." Jacob said. " Besides he so came off winded of verse three, at the bridge to the chorus. I would have done a crescendo and then yowled, then dropped."
"Gay." Coughed Edward, feeding Bella a French fry. Bella giggled. Jacob turned to look at them, and growled.
Stephanie Meyer sat in front of her eyes staring into the computer. This was unbelievably good. She had even asked herself when she had typed a musical of just sat there staring until....."Honey, what are you doing up so early?" Mr. Meyer asked.
"Go away! I'm having an existential dillema and I'm not quite sure when I met the Doctor, went back in time wrote this under Brendan K. Wilkanshire and published it."
"Kooky, I think its time for the nice men in the white jackets to take you away. You have read enough fanfictions and watched enough Doctor Who."
"YAY! I get to go to Cheatu Happy-happy Fun-fun Sleep! Thats where I came up with my first bestsellers." Stephanie clapped her hands and danced in a circle.
"Why on earth did I ask her to marry me!?" thought Mr Meyer as the nice men in the white jackets carried off a madly giggling Stepanie.
A/n: So whatcha think. Totally awful, or kinda good. Now I know that I made Edward and Bella moving to fast, and Jacob to gay, and Jacob wasn't even really in book 1, but I needed them both to make Mike mad. Now review now and you'll get Edward delivered right to your door, but that's not all. Add me to your Story favorites, and Story Alert and I'll add Emmet. But if you review in the next 10 minutes, along with adding me to your Author favorites and Alert, and receive a free Jacob. But that's not all. Do all of this and receive a totally free Taylor Lautner. PLEASE! I really need get rid of these guys. They are lounging about my house, drinking my blood, eating my food, and running up my electricity bill. HELP MEEEEE!