It's not like I really wanted to do this. To leave my family behind, just so I could follow my hockey team and live in Toronto for awhile, all while attending a new school and living with people I don't even know. I tried to beg my parents to let me stay home with them and not make me go to Toronto but that didn't work out. Mom said that I needed this, it was the chance of a lifetime and as for my dad, he agreed. Then again they're both ridiculous when it comes to the whole ice hockey thing. They live for it far more than I ever could and I think that's why the sport was never fun for me.
The bus ride to Toronto was quiet - well, it was quiet for me - not so much everyone else. The rest of the team was busy joking around and laughing in the back; I was up front with my headphones on listening to music the whole ride there. Somewhere between Smooth Rock Falls and Cochrane, I must have nodded off, because when I felt a hand on my shoulder that jolted me awake - I realized we were just outside Toronto. It was evening, just after six o'clock, and the sun was about to set over the high rise buildings in the area. I squinted as the bright, yellow-orange glow of the sun hit my eyes, then turned my attention to my teammate. "Yeah, Dallas?" I asked, glancing up at him as I used my hand to block out the sun while trying to look at him.
"We're almost there, bro, might want to start preparing to get off the bus and meet your host family," he replied, all I could do was nod and sigh as he headed to the back of the bus again to talk to the others. That was the thing with Dallas, he always tried to make everyone on the team feel like family, but in the end he had his friends and he only really wanted to be around them. I wasn't one of them.
As the bus pulled up to the bus station, I saw a middle aged couple standing outside grinning from ear to ear, holding up a chalkboard sign that said "WELCOME CAMPBELL!" on it. It was nice to see that they were happy to see me - even if I wasn't so happy to see them. I grabbed my carry on bag from above my head where it was laying as I stood up; once I made my way through the aisle way, I forced a smile as I stepped off the bus. "Hi!" I exclaimed, greeting the couple as I approached them while waiting for my bags to be unloaded.
"You must be Campbell!" The man greeted me, he sounded cheerful and a little too happy to see me. Maybe he and his wife were fans of the junior hockey league or at least supporters. "This is my wife Alice and I'm Christian. It's nice to finally meet you," Christian added, I nodded my head and shook his hand. Christian was a tall, slender, salt and pepper gray haired man with glasses and a lot of wrinkles. He would almost remind you of an older Anderson Cooper. As for his wife, she was rather short, smaller than myself even with dark brown hair and olive skin. She looked younger than him but not by much.
"It's nice to meet the two of you! One sec, I need to get my things," I replied, shortly after hearing my name being called from behind me by our coach. Taking my second bag, I placed the black strap of the red duffle bag over my shoulder, then returned to my host family.
"We have a lot planned for you, Campbell! We arranged a dinner at eight o'clock at one of our favorite restaurants with the rest of our family so they could meet you. That should give you time to get freshened up! We hope you're hungry!" Alice explained, I nodded and forced another smile at them in response.
I didn't know what to think. I liked them, sure, because they seemed so nice and welcoming. How could I be so ungrateful towards them? They even planned a welcome dinner for me set for that night which made me feel even worse. Despite the fact that my stomach was rumbling from hunger; I still wasn't sure if I even felt like going out that night. The bus ride alone was exhausting and I was still sleepy from my previous nap. Yet, still, something told me I needed to pull through and do this for them.
When we arrived at the Fortin's, I was amazed by how nice their home was, let alone the neighborhood they lived in. The house was large, two stories, made mostly out of what appeared to be either gray brick or stone with white paneling. As for the houses along the street, they were just as nice, and some of them were even larger than the one I was moving into for the next few months.
"Wow," I muttered under my breath as Alice stepped forward to open the front door once it was unlocked. I followed them inside and once the lights were on - my eyes widened at the sight. It shouldn't have surprised me that the interior of the house was just as nice as outside, but it did. Inside, the house had a cozy lived in feel to it despite being so neat and clean. "So this is where I'm going to be staying for awhile?" I asked, smirking as I looked around the foyer leading to the rather large living room. Christian nodded his head in response.
"Go unpack and get dressed for dinner! Wear something nice, we're going to an upscale place," Christian responded to my words, I did exactly what he told me to only to turn around at the top of the staircase.
"Uh, which room?" I questioned.
"Second on your left right beside the master bathroom!" Alice called out to me as she removed her jacket.
Unpacking took little to no time at all. Once I took a quick shower and dressed myself in the nicest clothes I had packed, I returned downstairs, ready to leave for the restaurant. By that point, there was no telling what else was left in store for me that night. I almost had forgotten of my feelings of nervousness, sadness, and longing to stay home with my family now that I was in Toronto.
On the ride to the restaurant, I began to wonder how I was staying with a family that didn't have kids, other than myself and I was just a house guest. "So, um, how did you work it out to be my host family? I mean, I'm supposed to be staying with a family that has kids since I'm attending a specific school," another question coming from my mouth as I looked outside at the various buildings we were passing by.
"I thought the host family had to have kids of their own at Degrassi?" I added, still watching in awe at the large buildings passing us by. The city was stunning and the buildings were much, much larger than I had imagined them to be. And at night time, the way they lit up, it was like a work of art the way the various lights painted the night sky.
"I am a teacher at Degrassi, actually! I teach grade twelve Canadian history and Christian, here, works for the school board. He used to teach at a local art school," Alice replied, looking at me through the rear view mirror. "We asked to be a host family for the hockey team and - well - here you are!" She added cheerfully, just then Christian pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and pulled up to the valet.
"Ready for some of the best steak you've ever had?" Christian asked and I chuckled.
"Yeah, actually!" I responded with a smile.
As we stepped inside the restaurant, again I felt like I was being treated like some sort of prince, getting the royal treatment. It felt like it was too good to be true, in a sense, but it didn't stop the thoughts racing through the back of my mind that this wasn't right. That I should be at home, no matter how happy I was temporarily. After all, all good things always came to a bitter end with me - it never failed. Guess that's why my mom always teasingly calls me "Charlie Brown".
We were hit with a blast of warm air, and the aroma of well seasoned steaks on the grill. As we made our way through the dimly lit steakhouse, I looked around and took in the scenery. Above our heads, there were lights that almost looked like Christmas lights, across the ceiling hanging down. The walls were painted a charcoal color and the tables had a rustic look to them. In the back room, the walls were lined with booth like seating with white cushions, and white cushioned metal chairs opposite of them. For some reason, I felt like eating here would put a dent in this family's wallet.
After the doors to the private room were opened, the Fortin's extended family and a few friends were already seated, greeting us happily as we walked through the doors. I swallowed hard as I looked at the small crowd in the room. All the people made the room seem as though it was much smaller, like the walls were closing in, and it made me feel a little too warm - like I almost couldn't breathe.
While my heart began to pound in my chest, I worried that I was going to have another anxiety attack, and if I did - I knew just how humiliating it would be not only for myself but for those around me. I took a few deep breaths and exhaled through my nose as I waited to be introduced to everyone. "Attention!" Christian exclaimed happily, almost with a slight arrogance as he clanked a fork against the crystal wine glass he picked up.
"I would like to take this moment to announce that we will be hosting one of the Toronto Ice Hounds in our home. His name is Campbell Saunders and he is here with us tonight! Please join me in this warm welcome to our house guest," Christian added, grinning as he looked back at me, while I looked around at everyone like a deer caught in the headlights. They were cheering for me, which seemed almost unreal, even though I was used to crowds cheering. I never felt special enough for them to cheer for a guy like me for such a small thing.
Once everyone settled down and I was able to make my rounds to introduce myself to everyone, I took my seat. The waiters arrived and I ordered my food - a rare filet mignon, onion rings, and sauteed mushrooms. I figured that since everything on the menu was expensive then why not get what I enjoyed for dinner. Hearing people order things like macaroni and cheese or baked potatoes made me wish I didn't have such bad lactose intolerance. It made it impossible for me to eat those things without feeling sick not even a half an hour later.
"You know, I believe I'll have what he's having!" Christian stated to the waiter in regards to my order, I smiled awkwardly up at the waiter as I handed over my menu, then I looked back at Christian.
"I would have ordered the mac n' cheese but there's no way my stomach could handle such a thing." I stated, saying good bye to a childhood favorite was hard but if it meant having good health, and feeling well - it was worth it.
"You're lactose intolerant, too?" The man questioned me and my eyes lit up, I nodded in response.
"Yeah, actually, I am. Only found out three years ago," I commented.
"Well then, you'll be happy to know that we have dairy free products at home like ice cream and macaroni that you can enjoy."
The next morning, I awoke and immediately reached for my bottle of Ativan that I brought with me. Opening it, I grabbed one of the last two pills and put it in my mouth, swallowing it without the help of a glass of water. My heart was pounding in my chest as I sat up in my bed before I slapped my hand down onto the 'snooze' button of the clock next to me. It was the first day of attending Degrassi Community School.
A million thoughts raced through my head as I sat there in bed. I looked outside and the sun was just barely peaking over the trees lining the suburban Toronto street. As I remained still, I thought about how I was about to meet a lot of new people, which I would have never seen before had it not been for my parents forcing me to try out for the junior hockey league last summer. I placed one foot down onto the carpet, then the other, then stood up as I headed for the bathroom. Suddenly, I felt more than a little sick to my stomach - despite not having anything on it.
The first day was always the worst for me. My hands were already shaking from the anxiety pumping it's way slowly through my veins. I could even hear my heart beating rapidly in my ears as stood over the sink in the bathroom. "You can do this. You made it this far, so don't turn back, you're going to be okay. You can do this!" I told myself, despite not believing the words escaping my lips.
"Campbell! Breakfast is ready!" Alice called out from downstairs, another wave of nausea hit as I dry heaved.
"Not hungry! I'm leaving in a few minutes!" I called out in response, I turned to walk out of the bathroom and to my closet to change my clothes. Thinking about how I needed to stop letting my mind get to me - maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe everyone would welcome me the way Alice and Christian did. Then again, if I was an outcast on my own team, there was no way I would be nearly as popular as Dallas or Luke once I got to Degrassi. I didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell. I was doomed.
Once I was dressed in a simple black v-neck, my red Ice Hounds hoodie, a pair of jeans and sneakers, I made my way outside the door once I told my host family that I would talk to them that afternoon. Waiting for the school bus was easy, no one was out there with me and I was alone for a few minutes, and it allowed me to calm my thoughts.
After getting on the school bus, I sat down in the first available seat by myself, and didn't bother to speak to anyone. On the next stop, Dallas and Luke were picked up, and later the other team mates. To my surprise, Dallas sat down right beside me and talked to me. "What's up?" he greeted with a friendly smile, I shrugged.
"Nervous," I commented simply. "You know I don't like meeting new people."
"Yeah," Dallas replied with a nod. "Don't worry about it, Rookie, you'll fit in!" He encouraged me, I wanted to believe him but it was just his way of being nice. "I'll see you later!" Dallas added, just before getting up to go back and sit with Luke when his name was called.
Thirty minutes later, the bus arrived outside of Degrassi Community School. From what I could tell just by looking at it, the school was huge from the outside, and was much bigger than my school back home. There were lots of kids standing around outside waiting for the first bell for our first class. My hands shook as I stood up to get off the bus and as I took the first step off - a mysterious blue eyed, brown haired boy approached me. "Are you Campbell?" he asked.
"Yeah, call me Cam," I replied, furrowing my brow as I looked at him. He looked nice enough, he was wearing a beanie covering chestnut brown hair and a hoodie with a Batman logo on the front.
"My name is Adam. I'm going to be showing you around today and helping you navigate this place," he commented, his tone was kind but upbeat as he spoke.
"Are you okay with that?" he asked, I smiled.
"Yeah. Nice hoodie," I complimented, I could tell we were going to be fast friends. Already the day seemed to be going a little better than expected.