**Okay, here's one I've been kicking around the old laptop. It's a song fic that incorporates one of my favorite songs of all times, "Demons" by Guster, and Gundam Wing. I've had this one stored away for awhile, never really being able to finish it, but I think it's ready to come out and meet the reviewers, so here you go and enjoy! And don't forget: READ AND REVIEW! **
********** = flashback/flash foreword (you should be able to tell which)
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You're words confuse me
My eyes don't move or blink
He couldn't believe what he was seeing, the images flashing before his eyes faster than his befuddled mind could comprehend. The reports coming in were harsh intruders on his fragile reality.
"Authorities say that the blast, which killed several soldiers and up to 15 civilians, was said to have come from a nearby mobile suit battle involving one of the Gundams. The Gundam, in a fit of desperation, engaged its self destruct mechanism, destroying itself and all mobile suits and pilots in a quarter mile radius."
The screen flicked off and the television when silent as darkness crept over the room. Heero sat on the couch, trying to understand what he had just heard. Things weren't making sense in his head. What was happening?
It had seemed like just last night he was talking to Duo about this mission. Well, Duo was trying to talk to him. Heero had been distant, ignoring Duo's words.
Cause it's easier sometimes
Not to be sincere
**********
Duo quietly approached the other pilot's room, unsure of the actions he was about to take. How would Heero respond? Hands trembling, he knocked on the door, his mind racing a mile a minute.
Suddenly, the door was opened and Duo found himself gazing into the most brilliant Prussian blue eyes he had ever seen. Attempting to regain his composure, he smiled at Heero, who merely glared at the person who had interrupted his rest.
"Yo, Heero!" Duo stammered, his eyes still locked on Heero's icy blue orbs, their gaze piercing into him like daggers.
"Duo," Heero said, his voice almost seething in anger. "What are you doing? Do you have any idea what time it is? And what about the mission tomorrow?"
Duo flinched as Heero mentioned the very thing Duo wanted to talk to him about. "Listen, Heero, there's something really important I have to tell you." Duo pushed Heero back into his room and followed him, closing the door behind the two of them and shutting out the rest of the world.
Once alone with the Heero, Duo's mind started to empty itself. He could think of nothing but being held in those beautifully sculpted arms, or kissing those perfect lips. H wanted to run his hands through that perfectly messy brown hair, pushing it out of his bangs to reveal his perfect eyes once more.
Shaking his head, Duo rid his mind of these thoughts. He was losing his nerve and if it completely deserted him, he would never say what he came to say. He had to get something off of his chest and for some reason he felt that if he didn't do it now, he would never get another chance.
"About that mission that you mentioned," Duo mumbled, fiddling with the cloth of his shirt and suddenly finding the floor very interesting and in need of study. "I…just keep getting this really bad feeling, and I think something is going to go terribly wrong." He was momentarily cut off by Heero's bark, sounding almost like a laugh.
Somehow I make you believe
Believe
"Nothing is going to go wrong. Everything will be fine. You know that. Whatever you have to say can wait till after the mission. Distractions are not something to focus on."
"Incase something does happen, I wanted you to know something." Duo looked into Heero's eyes, hoping to get a signal of understanding from the other pilot. When he received nothing but cold darkness, Duo continued, wanting desperately to warm Heero's gaze.
"I…I'm not quite sure how to say this," Duo let loose a little giggle, sounding almost like a confused schoolgirl, caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do. "I…I just can't hold this back any longer. I…I think I'm in love with you." Lifting his gaze from the floor, Duo let his eyes search the other boy's, desperately seeking some flicker of understanding, of reciprocation. But all he got was the endless blackness, the cold that penetrated his heart.
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you've been deceived?
Love? Heero's mind was in turmoil. How could Duo say something like that? Confusion swept over his thoughts, followed by fear and anxiety. What should he do? Should he tell Duo that he feels the same, that he secretly lusted after the boy since they first met, and how the lust soon gave way to love and admiration?
No. He could never let Duo know these things, because he was not sure of these feelings himself. He didn't know what love was, let alone know how to express such a strong emotion. Besides, what if he got hurt? Heero wasn't sure he could deal with the feelings of loss and regret he had heard so much about.
Quieting the roaring that was going on in his mind, Heero managed to focus his mind onto a single task. He had to dismiss Duo's misguided thoughts of passion and romance. Love was not an emotion that soldiers could feel, let alone express.
I find the need to be a demon
A demon cannot be hurt.
"Love?" Heero sneered, a laughter sounding in his voice. "You think you love me? How can you even know what love is?" He laughed at Duo, his own voice sounding cruel and horrid even to his own ears.
The tears, like crystal orbs, welled up over the perfect violet eyes that Heero loved so much and spilled over, cascading down those perfectly sculpted cheeks that he wanted to kiss so badly. One by one, the tears continued to fall, each leaving little trails of moisture in its path as Heero continued to verbally assault the other pilot.
"What were you thinking? That the minute you said you "loved" me, I'd fall into your arms like some silly girl child, just wanting to be hugged and petted? You disgust me." Heero spat out the last sentence, letting it fall into the room and create a silence that echoed in his ears louder than anything he could have said.
As his tears continued to flow, Duo stared defiantly at Heero, refusing to believe the words that were coming out of the other's mouth.
"You don't believe that," Duo said as his heart raced and spots danced before his eyes. "I know you don't. I can see it in your eyes that you're lying to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because you're scared, or maybe you don't know how to love someone, but whatever the reason is, it doesn't excuse you for denying your feelings."
Turning around, Duo placed his hand on the doorknob, opening the door to the darkened hall outside. "You'll regret those words one day. I know you will." And with that, he closed the door to Heero's room and left him standing alone in the dark, hurt, lost, and miserable.
**********
I find the need to be a demon
A demon cannot be hurt
Holding his head, Heero thought about what Duo had said last night. He had been right, and now Heero wished he could take back every single word. He wanted to tell him the truth, about how deeply he cared for the violet-eyed angel, but it was too late now. It was too late for words, and it was too late for actions. He had missed his chance, and just like that his entire world had been blinked out of existence.
He looked down the couch, at the figure seated on the other end. Heero heard the muffled sobs coming from the boy, and wanted to comfort him, but knew he couldn't. He could do nothing but watch now. Watch the life he'd let slip away.
Reaching out to brush away a tear that had escaped through Duo's hands, Heero saw his hand pass through the skin like a vapor. He sighed, wrapping his arms around his trembling, sobbing love, knowing that he would never get the chance to brush away any of his tears or soothe his trembles. He didn't know if he could cry, but he felt his heart ripping apart at the thought of never being able to hug Duo, or run his fingers through his hair. All he could do was watch him, and that was what he would do. Until they were finally reunited, Heero would watch him from a distance, with Duo never realizing just how right he had been.
I find the need to be a demon
A demon cannot be hurt.
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**Well, what do you think? It was my first attempt at a song fic, as well as my first attempt at a one-shot. I hope you liked it and I would love to hear how you felt about it. Whether you loved it, hated it, think I should be shot, any of the above will work. Just review!
~Queen Vixen