Brave Faces in Tragic Times
Chapter 1: Afraid
Disclaimer: I think we all know the drill by now. I do not own any of the characters from SVU or Criminal Minds.
A/N: Okay, this is the fifth story in the "Trust Me" series. It would probably be easier to understand if you read the other stories first. The titles are "Trust Me" "Lady Killer" "Valentine Disaster" and "Where You Belong" you can find them all on my profile.
A/N: This story picks up in mid July 2008. And of course I absolutely love reviews. I need to hear from people whether this is worth continuing or not. I've gotten the vibe lately that my reading public just wants this to be over with. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest story in the "Trust Me" series.
Elliot Stabler awoke and stared at the empty side of the bed beside him. For a few seconds, ten to be exact, he experienced a fear so powerful, so intense that he couldn't breathe. It was like drowning in a deep, dark ocean. For those ten seconds, he believed his world was over. The ten seconds ticked by so slowly until the blessed sound reached his ears. He finally heard Olivia's soft humming as she moved through the nursery.
Elliot let out a huge sigh of relief as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He picked his boxers up off the floor and moved down the hall in the direction of the nursery. The nursery was only a few steps from the door of his and Olivia's room. He padded to the door and stood in silence and watched.
Olivia sat in the rocking chair, bathed in the soft glow of the nightlight. Clad in one of his old shirts, the extra fabric of which fluttered around her thighs in the breeze from the fan that sat on the floor beside her. She held little Matt to her breast as she gave him his late night feeding and hummed to him an old tune that neither she nor Elliot could remember the name of.
Elliot smiled sadly as he watched her. This was an all too common occurrence these last few months. Four or more times a week, usually more, he would wake in the middle of the night to find Olivia not beside him. That alone shouldn't have been enough to cause him to experience such extreme fear, they did after all have an infant, but the fact that Jason Jameson was still on the loose made Elliot fear for his family's safety and even the tiniest things, the most normal of things would send him into the clutches of terror.
It was a full five minutes before he made his presence known. He had been trying to absorb as much of the warm feeling of seeing his wife and their son just like any other mother and child, without the ever present fear of a murderous mad man shattering their fragile tranquility, as possible.
He cleared his throat softly as he entered the nursery "Has he been fussing?" he asked in a teasing whisper. He knew that Matt couldn't have made much complaint, if so Elliot would have heard it over the baby monitor. The way things usually went; Olivia would sneak to the nursery after Elliot fell asleep, take Matt from his crib and hold him all night while she sat in the rocker.
"Not at all," Olivia looked up at her husband with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes "He's my little angel.
Elliot stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders gently. He was worried about her, not just because of JJ but because she hadn't been sleeping and had appeared to have lost more than just the twenty pounds she had gained carrying their son. He bent down and looked over her shoulder at his son's peaceful face "Maybe we should go back to bed and let Mattie here get some shut eye," he suggested hopefully.
"He's almost asleep," Olivia admitted "I'd just like to stay up with him for a little while longer," she turned her head and gave Elliot a chaste kiss. As she pulled away, she flashed him an apologetic look. Even with the baby monitor and her obsessive checking of the locks on the windows, after Elliot had already checked them twice, she was afraid to be separated from her baby boy by more than a few feet.
JJ had added three more women to the list of names and photographs on the board at SVU since Eva McKenna, one of those women, a seventeen year old girl, had managed to escape with her life and the FBI had taken her into protective custody but considering what JJ had done to the teen already, she would probably never feel safe again.. Those women's faces and those of the women who had come before them haunted Olivia's nightmares. JJ had wanted her. She had tried to kill her and Matt while he was still kicking inside her. She was terrified of what he might try.
Elliot knelt down on the floor in front of her. He gently took his son from her arms and stood again "He's getting big," he remarked as he laid the sleeping child in his crib and covered him with the blanket that Lizzie had made for him. He turned back to Olivia, kneeling down again and taking her hands in his "Come back to bed Liv," he pleaded, his eyes full of concern for her.
"What if he needs me?" Olivia protested, her eyes gleaming with tears that she tried to force into submission "What if he wakes up and he needs his diaper changed?"
"We'll hear him over the baby monitor," Elliot reminded her quietly "Come get some sleep. If he needs his diaper changed I'll be the one to do it next, okay?"
"But," Olivia protested, losing the battle against her tears as she crumpled "What if…?" she fell forward into Elliot's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck "I'm so scared," she whispered.
"I know baby," he soothed as he ran a hand through her hair. He was scared too. He remembered, all too vividly, the day that JJ had come into their house, and held them at gunpoint and how Olivia had begged JJ not to hurt him or Maureen. He remembered how helpless he had been as he lay, bound and gagged, watching his wife and their unborn son being taken away by that monster.
He had failed her by letting her go. Everyday with her and with Matthew was a blessing and he hated that he still had to spend many days and sometimes late nights at work. There was nothing he could do or say that would make Olivia feel safer. There was a time when he had been her protector, the person she could rely on. Now he found himself coming up short in that department. He would do anything for her but he had already proven himself useless in protecting her and their son.
"Please come back to bed," he tried once more. The master bedroom seemed so lonely without her presence.
"I…" she didn't want her husband to think that their son was the only man in her life that's why earlier that evening she had indulged herself in the pleasurable and comforting physical contact that they'd both been longing for since Matthew was born and had taken away all of their free time.
She looked up into Elliot's clear blue eyes then her gaze darted to the crib where her absolutely perfect, beautiful, innocent son lay. She stood and clasped one of Elliot's hands tight. It was time to put on a brave face for the sake of her family "Alright," she said softly. Before they left the room, she bent low and placed a kiss to Matthew's forehead, praying that no harm would befall her precious child while she was away from him.
The pair walked back into their bedroom and slid into bed side by side. Elliot wrapped his arms tight around Olivia "I'd never let anything happen to you or Matt, you do believe me don't you?" he wanted to believe that she hadn't lost faith in him the way he had. He loved her and wanted her to know that, he wondered if she did know.
"Of course I do," she whispered as she pressed her lips to his "I'm so sorry," she added quietly.
"Why?" he asked, smoothing her hair out of her eyes with his hand.
"I wish I could be brave," she admitted quietly "It's just that JJ, he…"
"I know," Elliot told her softly "But he won't ever hurt you again," he would keep his promise. He would do anything to keep her and his children safe.
"It's not me I'm worried about," she told him, looking directly into his eyes in the relative darkness of their bedroom. She too vividly remembered that day when JJ had entered their home, holding Maureen at gunpoint before he had turned the gun on Elliot. She had made a heart wrenching decision then, one that she hoped she would never have to make again. She had saved her husband's life while simultaneously put her son's life in jeopardy.
Elliot pulled her as close as possible "I promise you no one will hurt any member of this family if I have anything to say about it."
Olivia nuzzled into his embrace and tried to relax. There were FBI agents watching their house after all. Spencer had made sure that whatever happened, Olivia and all of JJ's other surviving victims had extra protection if necessary.
Thinking of Spencer made her remember something she had nearly forgotten as she was watching over Matthew. She rocketed into an upright position in bed "Oh my God," she whispered.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Elliot asked hastily, sitting up and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
Olivia laughed uneasily "The wedding," she said softly, patting Elliot's arm reassuringly "There are only two weeks left El… I was supposed to go with Maureen to pick out center pieces today," she buried her face in her hands "She's probably furious with me."
"No she's not," Elliot assured her with a small smile "Kathleen went with her. They found some nice flower arrangements or something, I think… Whatever it is it sure was expensive enough," he added.
"You don't understand women," Olivia smirked as they lay down again "Little girls have their weddings planned out before they can talk."
"Our wedding didn't cost nearly this much," Elliot grumbled.
"That's what you think," Olivia whispered in a sing song tone.
"Huh?" Elliot asked drowsily.
"Goodnight my love," Olivia cooed as she kissed him again and snuggled in beside him.
"Goodnight Liv. I love you," Elliot whispered "We'll talk about how much our wedding cost tomorrow."
Olivia chuckled for the first time in what seemed like an eternity "What's done is done sweetheart. I love you too, now goodnight."
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Maureen Stabler was finding it impossible to sleep. Her fiancé was restlessly rolling back and forth. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "You wanna talk about it Spence?" she asked with a bit of an amused grin. As tired as she was, she found it hard to be mad at him.
"I'm sorry Mau, am I keeping you up?" Spencer Reid asked apologetically.
"Kind of," Maureen said as she rolled onto her side facing him "What's up?"
"I was just thinking…" Spencer began.
"About JJ," Maureen finished for him.
"Yeah," Spencer nodded in the dark "And about your family and about Mia and all the other survivors."
"You think he's gonna try something," Maureen stated. She knew that Spencer had been thinking that for months, that was why he had offered an FBI detail to first Olivia then to the other surviving victims. "So what about Mia is weighing on you tonight?" Maureen knew him all too well.
Spencer took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if he should tell Maureen or not. After a long silence, he decided to speak "She got a letter today. Someone dropped off at my desk this morning…"
"Your desk…?" Maureen straightened and sat up "You mean that it was found somewhere else and some one sent it to you to analyze because you're a profiler, right?" she asked desperately.
Spencer gulped, he didn't like lying to his fiancé but in this case, it was to protect her. He'd told her so many things about this case already during the long, sleepless nights. She didn't need to know that some random kid off the street had been told by a man, who the kid identified later as JJ, to take it to the desk of Spencer Reid. He took a deep breath "Yeah," he told her.
The letter had been addressed to Mia Thomas, the seventeen year old foster child who had escaped with her life. The letter had said that if she talked, she would suffer. Mia was already in protective custody so it was nothing to be too concerned with. The thing that really worried Spencer was that Jameson had specified that the letter be delivered to him. He wondered if JJ knew about his connection to the Benson-Stabler family. He was worried about Maureen. JJ had almost killed her before, she was still in danger.
"So how is Mia?" Maureen asked softly, bringing Spencer's mind back to the conversation.
"Same as always," Spencer sighed heavily "She hates being cooped up in the safe house. Dr. Huang has been meeting with her every day. I think we're pushing her too hard to keep reliving what happened to her."
"She's the only living victim since JJ went loose after Matt was born. You need to push her if you want to find him before he kills again," Maureen stated, trying to comfort her husband to be.
Spencer raised himself up on his elbow and kissed her. He didn't want to keep her up all night worrying about a homicidal maniac. He quickly changed the subject "How is the wedding planning going?"
"I told you that already when you got home," Maureen laughed "Everything is set. You don't have to worry about a thing except showing up."
Spencer laughed and the two began talking about their plans for what to do once they were husband and wife. The honeymoon would have to wait until JJ was safely behind bars again because the FBI couldn't spare Spencer since he was in charge o the team going after JJ. Spencer promised himself that he would make it up to Maureen somehow when there was time.
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Twenty six year old Julia Duncan awoke to the sound of glass shattering. She bolted upright and flipped on the light. She heard angry grumbling from her kitchen. Ever since the FBI detail had begun shadowing her, she'd been afraid of something like this happening.
She grabbed the gun from the top drawer of her night table and stepped out of the bedroom. Her eyes scanning the darkness of her living room, searching for even the slightest movement in the shadows. She saw nothing but a small sliver of light coming through the ajar kitchen door.
She approached the door with caution. She peered through the crack but could see nothing but the kitchen cabinets. She took a deep breath and pushed her shoulder against the door. She jumped into the room with her gun raised "I'll shoot," she said evenly as warning.
The sound of shattering glass echoed off the walls of the kitchen once more. "Julia, it's me," the stunned FBI agent held his hands high above his head as he stared wide eyed at the gun toting graduate student.
Julia lowered her gun immediately "Agent Day," she breathed a sigh of relief "What are you doing up here?" she looked down at the broken glass at her feet "What happened?"
The young, blue eyed agent ran his hand through his short curly dark hair "I was thirsty. I came to get a glass of water. The first glass slipped out of my hand and the second," he looked pointedly at the gun in Julia's hand "Can you blame me?"
"Yes," Julia said sharply "Why didn't you go to a convenience store?"
"We're supposed to be watching you. The nearest convenience store is three blocks away," he defended.
"Will you just call next time?" Julia asked in a huff as she turned to head back to her room.
"Sure thing," Agent Eddy Day agreed as he headed back to the car, where he and his partner Linda Patterson, were watching Julia's building. He made sure to close and lock the door behind him as he left. "Goodnight Julia," he whispered softly as he descended the stairs.
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Silvia Higgins felt a little bit tipsy but she was sure she had it in her to walk the three blocks to her apartment building. Her friend Stacey had offered to walk with her but Silvia had sworn she was fine. She had walked four blocks already without any incident and she knew she could make it the rest of the way.
She'd been out late, far later than she would usually have stayed out, clubbing with Stacey and Ellen. It had been Stacey's suggestion that Silvia get out and let people know she was on the market again. It had only been three days since her boyfriend, whom she'd known since high school, had broken up with her, and in doing so had crushed her heart.
But Stacey had insisted and so they had all gone out. Silvia had taken up residence at the bar, tossing back beers about five minutes after they arrived. Before she knew it she'd been drunk. But after throwing up in the middle of the street in front of the club and waiting on a bench with her friends for an hour, she'd felt much better.
As she walked, she thought she heard footsteps behind her. She turned her head to look while simultaneously quickening her pace. She saw a man, standing awfully close to her. The next thing she knew, he was dragging her into an alley.
Twenty minutes later, she was dead. Jason Jameson stood up, paused for a moment to admire his work and simply walked away, leaving her lifeless body naked and exposed in the filthy alley.
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"Another one," Elliot said sadly as he stood beside Spencer at the crime scene. He had left Olivia sleeping soundly in bed in the wee hours of the morning when he had received the call that there was another body that matched JJ's MO.
"I'm afraid so," Melinda Warner said as she bent down beside the body "Same marking on the inner thigh, same open wound on the shoulder. It's him alright."
The brass had originally pulled Elliot from the case but when bodies started turning up once again matching JJ's MO, Spencer had asked for the help of the Manhattan SVU and. He had stated simply that he was the one placed in charge by the director of the FBI and that he'd been given the authority to choose his team and he wanted the members of Manhattan SVU on the team.
Though Elliot would never admit it to his daughter's fiancé, he was eternally grateful that he'd been put back on the case. He felt like he was actually doing something to protect his wife as long as he was helping to track JJ down. He didn't like being out of the loop, especially when it concerned his family so directly.
"No one saw him," Spencer stated to Elliot as soon as he had finished a conversation with a nearby agent.
"No one would have," Elliot muttered "He's being careful. He knows we're looking for him. He's not about to mess up."
Spencer nodded in agreement and was about to speak when he was handed a letter "It was underneath her," Melinda explained as he assistance began to move the body "It's addressed to you."
Spencer's heart stopped beating for a moment as he held the plain white envelope in his gloved hands. He slid the envelope open and carefully removed the piece of paper inside. He unfolded it and suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He returned the paper to the envelope and placed it in an evidence bag "I… I've got to get home," he said quickly before turning and sprinting for the mouth of the alley.
"Hey," Elliot finally caught up with him "What's gotten into you all of a sudden? What did that letter say?"
Spencer turned to his future father-in-law "I really gotta get home. You should do the same. I didn't even wake Mau up to tell her I was leaving, she's probably worried."
"Yeah," Elliot nodded, he'd done the same thing to Olivia "But what did that note say?"
"I'm gonna have to pull you off the case," Spencer said quietly as he opened his car door.
"Why?" Elliot asked indignantly.
"He knows," Spencer said as he turned the key in the car "Hop in, I'll give you a ride."
"What do you mean, he knows?" Elliot asked as he slid into the passenger's seat. He had taken a cab to the crime scene and was grateful for the ride even if the conversation was confusing and infuriating.
Spencer started to drive down the street "The note threatened you by name, it threatened Maureen and all of her brother's and sisters, it threatened your ex-wife and your current wife."
Elliot had known that Olivia and potentially Matthew could be in danger, in fact he was almost certain that JJ would make a move any day now. He lived in constant fear of it. "I don't see what this has to do with taking me off the case."
"You need to be able to keep an eye on Maureen for me," Spencer sounded desperate as the tires screeched while he took yet another fast corner.
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Olivia woke to the sounds of multiple footsteps and voices in her home. She threw the covers to the side, noticing instantly that Elliot was not beside her. She went to the nursery first. When she saw that Matthew was sleeping soundly in his crib, she crept to the top of the stairs.
She listened closely to the voices and recognized them all instantly. She sighed and walked down the stairs. In the living room she found Elliot, Spencer and Maureen sitting there, talking to one another. When they noticed her presence they all became very quiet as all three pairs of eyes watched her carefully.
"There's been another one hasn't there," Olivia said simply as she sank onto the couch beside Elliot. She didn't know that there was far more to it than that.