TITLE: Drowning Her Sorrows
AUTHOR: Pi_Girl (aka JessicaCatherine)
CATEGORY: At this point, and until further notice, angst.
FEEDBACK: Please review! This is my very first story, and I'd like to know whether I should continue or not. But no flames, please!
EMAIL: the_pi_girl@yahoo.ca
SPOILERS: Anything up to and including Early Rollout is fair game.
DISCLAIMER: CSI and its characters do not belong to me. If they did, Grissom and Sara would have been married by now.
SUMMARY: A look inside Sara Sidle... (Okay, okay, I won't pursue a career in summarizing...)
Ever since she was a little girl, Sara Sidle had always pictured herself with a picture-perfect future. In her mind, she had always seen herself with a fabulous job, getting married to a handsome, brilliant man, and having a few kids. That dream, however, was turned on its head the moment she met Gil Grissom. He had been quiet, reserved, and fiercely intelligent. He became the object of her desires, her dreams. He changed her life, in a way that she never thought was possible. Instead of pursuing a career in Physics, as she had planned, she found herself working as a criminalist. Surprisingly enough, she enjoyed her work and every day that she went to work, she praised any known deity for having let her meet Gil Grissom.
It was a dream come true, the day that Grissom had called her away from San Francisco to come to Vegas to help solve a case. And when she got there, she found herself enjoying the time that she could work with him. They seemed to grow closer and through the time that they worked together, she found that even when the times got tough and horribly unbearable, she never really wanted to leave. She loved him. She loved him so much that it hurt. She loved him with every ounce of her being...and she had always hoped that he felt the same way.
Oh sure, from time to time, he would give her a fleeting glimpse of his feelings for her, always enough to make her hope, but never enough to make her feel like it was anything but unrequited love.
She tried to open the door for him, make it a bit easier to admit his feelings. She tried leaving, but found that it was impossible. Everything she did, everywhere she went, she thought of him. When he had sent her a plant, she felt her hope grow. Maybe this was the beginning. The truth though, was that it was perhaps the beginning of the end. It went downhill from there. She had tried to make him jealous, by going out with Hank, but just ended up getting hurt herself. And, she had asked him out to dinner. None of it worked.
She figured then that he was either completely oblivious, or out to deliberately make her life unbearable. There was another possibility though, that didn't occur to her until that case with the victim who had so closely resembled her. He was scared.
He was too scared to let his emotions rule him. He was scared that he would have to give up everything he had worked for in order to have her.
It was at this point that Sara's life began its steady downfall. She gave up on trying to get Grissom to admit his feelings. Yes, she still loved him, though her brain couldn't figure out why.
She needed something to numb the pain. Something that would take away the heartache, take her away from reality. So, she began to drink. It was never a lot, only enough to make the pain go away. And it would go away, but only for a little while, and then it would come back, quadrupled.
She just wasn't sure what to do anymore, or where to turn. She had no real friends left, and no social life to speak of.
She could have ended it all. So many times, she had thought about how she could escape, but every time she had almost tried it, some little nagging voice in the back of her mind would ask her "Why?"
TBC?
(A/N: I'm not quite sure yet whether I'm going to continue this. I'm not sure that it's actually any good.)
AUTHOR: Pi_Girl (aka JessicaCatherine)
CATEGORY: At this point, and until further notice, angst.
FEEDBACK: Please review! This is my very first story, and I'd like to know whether I should continue or not. But no flames, please!
EMAIL: the_pi_girl@yahoo.ca
SPOILERS: Anything up to and including Early Rollout is fair game.
DISCLAIMER: CSI and its characters do not belong to me. If they did, Grissom and Sara would have been married by now.
SUMMARY: A look inside Sara Sidle... (Okay, okay, I won't pursue a career in summarizing...)
Ever since she was a little girl, Sara Sidle had always pictured herself with a picture-perfect future. In her mind, she had always seen herself with a fabulous job, getting married to a handsome, brilliant man, and having a few kids. That dream, however, was turned on its head the moment she met Gil Grissom. He had been quiet, reserved, and fiercely intelligent. He became the object of her desires, her dreams. He changed her life, in a way that she never thought was possible. Instead of pursuing a career in Physics, as she had planned, she found herself working as a criminalist. Surprisingly enough, she enjoyed her work and every day that she went to work, she praised any known deity for having let her meet Gil Grissom.
It was a dream come true, the day that Grissom had called her away from San Francisco to come to Vegas to help solve a case. And when she got there, she found herself enjoying the time that she could work with him. They seemed to grow closer and through the time that they worked together, she found that even when the times got tough and horribly unbearable, she never really wanted to leave. She loved him. She loved him so much that it hurt. She loved him with every ounce of her being...and she had always hoped that he felt the same way.
Oh sure, from time to time, he would give her a fleeting glimpse of his feelings for her, always enough to make her hope, but never enough to make her feel like it was anything but unrequited love.
She tried to open the door for him, make it a bit easier to admit his feelings. She tried leaving, but found that it was impossible. Everything she did, everywhere she went, she thought of him. When he had sent her a plant, she felt her hope grow. Maybe this was the beginning. The truth though, was that it was perhaps the beginning of the end. It went downhill from there. She had tried to make him jealous, by going out with Hank, but just ended up getting hurt herself. And, she had asked him out to dinner. None of it worked.
She figured then that he was either completely oblivious, or out to deliberately make her life unbearable. There was another possibility though, that didn't occur to her until that case with the victim who had so closely resembled her. He was scared.
He was too scared to let his emotions rule him. He was scared that he would have to give up everything he had worked for in order to have her.
It was at this point that Sara's life began its steady downfall. She gave up on trying to get Grissom to admit his feelings. Yes, she still loved him, though her brain couldn't figure out why.
She needed something to numb the pain. Something that would take away the heartache, take her away from reality. So, she began to drink. It was never a lot, only enough to make the pain go away. And it would go away, but only for a little while, and then it would come back, quadrupled.
She just wasn't sure what to do anymore, or where to turn. She had no real friends left, and no social life to speak of.
She could have ended it all. So many times, she had thought about how she could escape, but every time she had almost tried it, some little nagging voice in the back of her mind would ask her "Why?"
TBC?
(A/N: I'm not quite sure yet whether I'm going to continue this. I'm not sure that it's actually any good.)