Where Did I Go Wrong?
A PJO songfic
"Hey, Luke, can I talk to you about something?" Annabeth asked quietly, approaching him from behind.
He was leaning against Thalia's tree, motionless and silent. He had just gotten back from his failed quest, his gash stinging from the tear that had traced its way down his cheek. He didn't want to talk to anyone, but Annabeth . . . she was different. Practically his little sister.
"What?" he responded just as softly. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, then turned around, a fake smile that looked more like a grimace on his face.
She saw his red eyes and wanted to ask him about it, but she had something more important to talk about.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
"Why don't you sit down?" she suggested. Luke obeyed, but his movements were stiff, and reminded her of a zombie she had once seen on TV. She was scared, everyone was. When he had come back from his quest, bleeding and half-unconscious, of course Chiron had worried about the wound and what had gone wrong. But Annabeth knew differently. He wasn't talking anymore because he was tired. It was because he was hurt by his easy quest and how he didn't complete it.
She gave him a weak smile in response, but she was seriously regretting coming here. Obviously, he wouldn't want to know about his father, angry, sad, and disappointed.
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Annabeth couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, covering up with a lie, she said, "Uh . . . Chiron wanted to see you, to . . . er, give you more ambrosia." Yes, a ridiculous fib, but it was all she could think of.
The artificial smile melted, replaced by a scowl. "Yeah. Thanks for that." He picked himself up and walked away, never looking back.
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
This time it was Annabeth who pulled her knees to her chest, tears escaping her eyes. Luke had never stayed this upset for this long. What had happened with her hero, her rescuer who had been willing to die for her? Who was this angry, bitter person who replaced him?
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Two weeks passed. Luke had cheered up, or so the other campers said. But Annabeth knew better. He never seemed to crack, no matter how hard she tried. This fake charade couldn't go on forever.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
But the hours she spent trying to weasel the true Luke who wouldn't brush comments about his dad off turned into days, the days to weeks, the weeks to months, until finally she gave up. Not after a parting comment, though.
It was when he was in the arena practicing swordplay so the next time he wouldn't get a scar. If there was a next time.
Annabeth was watching him. When he came over for a drink of water, she used the opportunity. "Luke, no matter what you think, your father didn't betray you. It's wrong to think of him like that."
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
The cup he had in his hand dropped and his true colors broke through for a moment. His eyes turned to slits, his cheery grin to a frown so deep it cut lines into his turning red face. But he quickly masked himself again, and replied, "Of course he didn't betray me." And Luke walked away as he spoke the next sentence:
"He just . . . gave up on me."
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
So Annabeth had to go along with the charade for years to come. Every once in a while, Luke would laugh like he used to, and her heart would flutter and she'd be able to believe the real Luke had never left. But when his anger showed, like that one time in the arena, her heart would bleed all over again.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
She tried talking to him one last time, when they were sitting on the beach, just enjoying the summer sun.
"Luke, I know that you feel . . . let down. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can forgive your father. He would accept you. Don't turn against him." She was almost pleading.
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
At first he looked guilty, then his brow furrowed and he exploded. "It's not like that! My father would never accept me! He never did, he never will! Why can't you accept that?! That I'm not the same anymore? Something's changed!" Luke turned away and ran.
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Annabeth just sat there, stunned and shocked. She could not cry. She would not cry.
And she would go along with the same charade, never letting anyone see her broken shattered heart.
At least, until Percy came along. And he healed her broken heart.
Where did I go wrong I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
But that day would not come soon enough. Her good friend, her older brother, and maybe even someone she loved was gone. He had wiped away her tears, had bought her ice cream, had stayed up with her when she had a nightmare, had chased away the monsters.
That person was gone, replaced by someone who was driven on revenge and bitterness alone.
Annabeth Chase had lost a friend. Where had she gone wrong?
Where did I go wrong I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life