Okay I won't give you one long useless excuse for my sudden hiatus but if your truly that curious shit happened and my writing received a reality check… So I hope I haven't us sucked the story currently from your eyes with this little rewrite I've done here.
(Don't worry I have both original and newly edited chapters saved so all is good)
Anyway on to the madness you have let yourself to…I represent to you:
Ladies of Chaos by Parallel Rose.
Enjoy.
A Crumbling Fairytale
It hasn't beeped yet, I still have maybe a still minutes of sleep, maybe I can snuggle a few more and--
Beep, beep, beep!
So much for the fucking silence!
Inside I groaned, I dread today… as well as any other day so in the end I might as well wake up and get it over with. I blink at the sight of the sun beaming though my windows… the birds are chirping, the sun in shinnying, and it seems the whole aura this morning gives off…
Is the exact opposite of my attitude right now. Because I just know, that this is just going to be another horrid morning, afternoon and evening in my case. For one thing like it's doing now, my hair going to fly into my face like a fucking missile on a target, Tyson's going annoy the shit out of me, (his ego been super-sized since the last championship, yeah I know. I didn't think it was possible either), the so called unintentional pranks from local BBA fan girls as well as their little remarks of how they see me as a slut, the belittling of a girl who doesn't pick up a blade.
I can see it all now. Because the very mind drilling cycle repeats itself everyday of my life. So what I do you wonder… I just remain in the background with a book while it all buzzes around me, place on a happy clappy façade at it all and everyone believes its all fine and dandy.
I bother no one with my problems. I feel as though am useless if I do, I was brought up this way. If I go back to my darkest pits of my childhood I can only remember that it was me and only me that caused other's pain back then.
It wasn't my father.
It wasn't my brother.
It was never my mother.
It wasn't Midnight.
It could never be the Ladies of Chaos.
It was only me.
It was my life's rule, taught by me as my very chance of a normal life slipped though my fingers at age five. When Daddy changed, my brother sought my death, my mum was scared and my only hope and sanity was a few girls who I'd hardly known and boy who held and cared for my heart.
The Ladies of Chaos a blading team of carnage and cold bloodlust. Though, even with my philosophy of self blame, the theory of your own right to choose always corrupted it. Sometimes even now I faintly wonder if the unnerving possession my father was under and the hate filled pupils of my brother were my fault. If so could I prevented…
No!
You wouldn't, must not ponder into that. To say that would be to say that his death was nothing to you, his dedication to take his life instead of his was false and that last smile to know you lived on was nothing. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter Hillary! Those day are over, there's no need to hold that cursed bit beast like a gun anymore. There was no Ladies of Chaos captain in you. There was no longer bey battles for you, there was no longer freedom of emotions and choice.
Just make sure you place on a pretty smile when people pass your pretty prison cage.
Let mother believe that all the dread is behind them, and father's torture doesn't haunt your mind time to time. Put on a frilly smile and let mother believe you have a chance of a normal life and to be the beautiful sane girl she always wanted.
She deserves that much after all she'd been though.
It's in the past so lets leave that.
I pull a top and a normal shirt from my closet, placing them over my shoulder I walk to my bathroom, just a small one a shower toilet and a sink. Nothing special. Closing the door, slip off the large top and small shorts that were makeshift pyjamas on the pale coloured, tile floor. Slip my self in and turn on the hot water and reach out for the shower get and shampoo.
My sight was becoming foggy, it was shifting beyond my control. The floors, chairs and even the clumps of clothes were hovering and wavering like they were on an uneven scale. I fell back, I needed the comfort of something still against my back so I could keep myself in sane in the fact it was happening so rashly. The showers walls against my and everything was still bouncing on end.
I closed my eyes. Counted to ten…
My eyes didn't open to the sight of my bathroom...
Flashback
"Neo, Neo!" I called across the fields.
I wasn't a fast runner at eight years of age I noted as I could only look on and also Neo out of all of us who he was trained the most, was defiantly faster at that time. With his cold self back them he turned blank eyes to me, his long silver hair swinging slightly and his navy eyes gazing at me.
"Come on brat, I haven't got all day!" He snapped.
A happy soul, isn't he? Yes, I know he was a temper but when you get used to him he'll rub off on you. Really brats like a nickname to me, even if he is just one year older than me.
I then, In my small pigtail and light blue outfit ran to him.
"Can you just hurry up so we can get over with this fun as you call it and return before we get caught!" He snapped suddenly.
I pouted.
"Meanie!" I replied but he only shrugged, its was nothing to him.
"Brat, there are a lot more mean people than me, people who would find killing you as fun" he replied tonelessly.
You know back then I wished I would meet people of such and get it over with.
Slowly I sat down, pulling my legs in and holding them, little eight year old tears threatening to spill themselves back then. A silence would come after, Neo would apologize in his own way…
"Come on now brat don't start the water works"
"…am not!" I called then, but really I was resisting the tears, I could remember it well.
"Don't lie…we all have to let it loose at sometimes" he never stuck me as the type to cry, I was only eight at the time so I really didn't understand anyone then. I felt a hand on my shoulder at that time, I would turn to see Neo's face, darkened and distant.
He rarely showed his emotions.
I saw him as such a icon, really I did. He once took a hit for me a large gash that could have been fatal to me but it was now on his back not mine. I already have a large number of them, physically and mentally. Even back then I knew some will fade as I grow leaving what I once was.
And Midnight will give them to me reminding me of what I once was.
End of flashback
Slowly my eyes open and pushed myself to the shower's corner, grabbing my knees slowly after. I looked to water falling to the depths of the drain, small stripes of blood red run into it and followed it as it vanished from sight down the plug hole. I held myself tighter…
Please. Don't reopen yourself, its hard enough to keep myself even now.
One of my scars has reopened.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Parallel rose: Ah! The mistakes on here, they burned!
(Starts to melt)
I checked though this and wanted to gag at its content. I thank all my reviewer stuck though that. Really, thank you so much! Anyway. I know, it may still not be perfect but hey, compared to when I first came here…
Lets not go there!