Mika didn't know if Yuu had noticed yet, but he was turning into a monster.
He'd already been a monster for more than four years, though he tried not to behave like one as much as possible, but lately, when he was drinking Yuu-chan's blood, he acted like any other vampire draining their prey.
Yuu-chan wasn't prey, he could never kill Yuu, but from the moment before he drank Yuu's blood until a few seconds after, thoughts like that would cross his mind.
He wasn't livestock, Mika couldn't treat him like that. He unfortunately needed Yuu for blood so he could survive and protect him. He always tried to handle Yuu with as much care as possible, he didn't want to cause him any more pain then necessary, but lately he couldn't control himself somewhat. The guilt had lessened when he drank Yuu's blood, he hadn't even apologized to him at all the last time he drank from him. Had Yuu noticed? The guilt would later come back to haunt him, but in the moments before drank Yuu's blood and awhile after, he only felt slightly guilty for taking Yuu's blood from him, something Yuu needed to live as well.
Which was disgusting, taking someone else's life force so you could live. Though Mika was somewhat morbidly getting used to the idea. What if it wasn't such a bad thing to take blood? He really was a monster.
This prompted him to not drink blood from Yuu for almost a month. He couldn't, he wouldn't hurt him. He knew he needed blood, but he had to figure out a way to fix this, to control himself and stop trying to rationalize the idea of taking blood from someone else, especially Yuu-chan.
"Mika?" Yuu said, walking over to him. He had noticed Mika was acting strangely recently. Of course Yuu would have, in order to go this long without drinking blood, Mika had to practically isolate himself from all humans.
"Yes, Yuu-chan?" Mika said through gritted teeth.
"Are you alright?" Yuu asked, concern evident in his expression and voice.
"I'm fine." Mika hissed, his lie obvious.
"Mika, hasn't it been almost a month since you drank any blood?"
Three weeks and four days, but who was counting?
When Mika didn't answer, seemingly deciding that looking down at his boots was far more interesting than the conversation at hand, Yuu said,
"Mika! You need to drink my blood!"
"I can't Yuu-chan! Have you even noticed what happened last time I drank from you?"
"What happened?" Yuu asked, confusion clear on his face.
Mika's face contorted in frustration and he growled. Oh- Oh no, he actually growled. He's turning into a real monster, soon he'll be just like them, the other vampires, killing humans every five seconds and-
"Are you mad at me?" Yuu asked, not sounding the slightest bit disturbed at the noise, only worried that the blond haired vampire was mad at him.
"What? No! I'm- Yuu-chan." Mika said, bringing a hand up to his forehead and sighing, trying to calm down. Once he felt he was calmer, he continued, "Yuu-chan, I didn't apologize the last time I drank your blood."
"Okay? What's the problem?"
Yuu-chan really was something else, Mika would never understand why the boy was so accepting of him.
"No, Yuu-chan, you don't understand. That means I'm starting to feel less guilty when I drink your blood. I'm turning into even more of a monster. I'm starting to think more like a vampire when I drink your blood, and I don't want to hurt you."
"You'd never hurt me, Mika. You need to trust yourself more. I'm glad you're starting to feel less guilty, I don't want you to feel guilty about something you need to survive. It's not your fault."
"Yuu-chan, you can't just...I can't just accept this- we can't just accept this move on. Then I'll think it's okay, and it's not. It's not okay to be a monster."
"Why not? Who says it's not okay to be a monster? You're still my family no matter what." Yuu-chan said, his eyebrows furrowing, looking like he was starting to get frustrated or angry with Mika, something along those lines.
"Yuu-chan..." Mika said, looking away. He didn't mean to make Yuu upset, he just didn't know what to do. Talking to Yuu-chan does make him feel better though, even if he wasn't completely convinced by what he said.
"Come on Mika, you need to drink." Yuu said, sounding concerned again.
Mika nodded, he knew he'd have to eventually. There was nothing he could do to fix this, unfortunately, he was just going to have to accept it.
Using inhuman speed, he ran over to Yuu-chan, and pushed him against the wall, careful to brace the back of his with his hand. His other hand was pinning Yuu against the wall by his shoulder.
Mika's fangs pierced Yuu's skin. He tasted so, so, so amazing. This was the best thing Mika's tasted in his entire life, even better than Akane's curry and all the sweets in the world.
Mika wanted more, he wanted to drink every last sip of this delicious liquid until there was nothing left. No one else could have it, it was his. Yuu-chan was his.
At the thought of that name, Mika remembered where he was and what he was doing and instantly pulled back.
He slowly walked backwards, not believing what he'd just done. "Yuu-chan, I..." Yuu was never going to forgive him for this. He'd now realize what a monster he was.
Of course, he couldn't stop himself from licking the remaining blood from his lips. Disgusting.
"It's okay Mika, you didn't take much more than you usually do."
It certainly had felt like he had drunk more, but maybe that was because Mika hardly remembered who he was while he was drinking earlier.
"Thank you, Yuu-chan." Mika said, not just thanking for letting him drink his blood but for accepting and trusting him as well.
Yuu smiled, like he knew what Mika was saying. "I like it better when you say that. How about you say that now instead of apologizing every time you drink my blood?"
"I can try..." Mika said. He liked the sound of it, too. He wanted to say something to Yuu-chan after he gave up his blood for him, and instead of showing him how guilty he was he could tell him how grateful he is.
"Good," Yuu said, smiling and cupping Mika's cheek. Mika couldn't help but smile back.
"Also, you might not want to hear it but I have one more thing I want to say." Yuu said, suddenly sounding serious.
"What is it?" Mika asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"You're not a monster, I wish you'd stop calling yourself that. I'm not completely human anymore but you don't see me calling myself a monster."
"But that's because you're not-"
"And neither are you," Yuu said, cutting Mika off. The intensity in his voice and gaze caught Mika off guard a little. "Just, can you try to stop calling yourself that, for me? You're calling yourself something that's the complete opposite of you. It's like calling yourself a piece of toast. Though you're closer to being the toast."
"So, you're calling me toast...?"
"No, idiot!" Yuu said, laughing. "Basically I'm saying you're not a monster."
"Thank you, again, Yuu-chan. I'll try not to call myself that." If it was for Yuu-chan, he'd do anything. That didn't mean he'd stop thinking was a monster, but he'd try to stop saying out loud.
"I'll just call myself toast instead."
"Stop it!" Yuu said laughing again. Mika couldn't help but laugh with him.