Words I Wish I Could Say to You
{ For doctorroseprompts 'undone' – this is not a drabble. Sorry. }
All Ages | Introspection, Romance, General
TenToo/Rose
{ AO3 }{ FFN }
It's late. Or early, depending on one's perspective. Either way, he cannot sleep; he's too restless. He rubs his eyes and glances over at Rose who is somehow still sleeping deeply despite all of his fidgeting. Rather than risk waking her, he carefully gets out of bed, pulls his on his shirt, and turns to tuck Rose back in as his getting out of bed has made her a bit restless.
He adjusts the duvet and softly kisses her cheek before heading out into the darkened flat. The main living area is filled with boxes as tomorrow is moving day (and another reason for him to try and get more sleep). They've finally gotten around to selling Rose's small flat and have actually purchased a house. They decided fairly early on in this universe that they would need someplace that was a bit bigger and had a separate area that they could make into the perfect TARDIS nursery. After a few months of searching, they finally found a house that works for both of them.
The Doctor makes his tea and peeks into their bedroom too make certain that Rose is still sleeping. He is overwhelmed sometimes with just how much he loves her. A single smile, the feel of her hand in his, and he is completely undone. He knows it isn't just happiness that he feels now, it's contentment, it's peace. He thinks he can be forgiven for taking so long to identify his new state of being as it isn't something he had ever experienced before and he wonders, sometimes, if his counterpart in the other universe will ever feel it.
He watches Rose sleep for a moment longer before heading back out into the main room to finish his tea. He sits down and looks up at the sky and the very few stars that are actually visible in the city. 'Not long now. Once we get the TARDIS set up and growing, it will just be a few more years before we're back up there.'
He knows that Rose is relieved that they finally have a place to safely grow the TARDIS. She still believes, deep down, no matter how many times he's told her otherwise, that she alone is not enough to make him happy. The Doctor can't deny that he loves travelling through time and space but he does wish he knew what to do, what to say that would finally make Rose lose that last little bit of self-doubt that lingers in her. He wants her to know that she is enough and that even if they never have a TARDIS in their new universe, as long as they're together, that is all he needs. He can speak countless languages – human and alien – but he cannot find the words to truly set her mind at ease.
He takes as deep breath as he stands, heading back into the kitchen to rinse his cup, and then walks back to their bedroom to try and get a few more hours sleep.
Gently he lifts the duvet and settles himself as Rose shifts and curls against him. "I was wondering if you were coming back or not," she whispers, her voice heavy with sleep.
He brushes his hand over her back, "Busy day tomorrow. Could use a bit more rest."
She places a kiss on his chest and says, "I love you," as she snuggles back against him.
"I love you, too," and he allows the peacefulness of the moment lull him back to sleep.