Weep Not Too Much*
Fifteen years had passed since the end of the war and the true start of Mai's and Zuko's lives together. They had been a good fifteen years, wonderful at times, with troubles and trials too, but all in all both looked back at them with nothing but fondness. The years had brought them marriage and three children, two sons and one daughter. The years had also brought them a brother in Tom-Tom and an enviable closeness with their friends. Zuko's mother was never found and that sorrow still ate at the Fire Lord, though he did not let it darken the happiness he had with his family, both blood and extended.
It was when Zuko first noticed subtle changes in Mai that terror, true terror, crept into his heart and wouldn't leave, no matter how much he tried to ignore it or shove it aside. There was something wrong with his wife; of that, Zuko had no doubt.
Mai picked at her dinner, pushing the komodochiken aside and taking a few mouthfuls of rice and vegetables. She smiled as her daughter, Natsumi, the middle child and seven years old, helped their youngest, Akihiko, with his chopsticks.
"You're only three and I'm seven. So I can do it better than you can." She adjusted the utensils in the little boy's chubby hand, and then with her hand on top of his, picked up a small piece of meat. "There; eat this."
Akihiko looked at his sister with wide, admiring gold eyes and did as he was told. He chewed the meat and then waited for her to help him with the next piece.
"See, Momma, I'm helping him." She swung her long brown hair over her shoulders and her pretty face, so much like Zuko's, was positively shining with delight and pride.
"I see, Natsumi; you're doing a fine job." Mai caught Zuko's eye and they shared that secret smile of theirs, the one that somehow excluded everyone else. "Now, let him try on his own this time."
"Yeah; he won't get it if you keep doing it for him. He needs to learn how to use chopsticks all by himself." The elder prince, ten year old Yasahiro, spoke with the authority and wisdom that came with three extra years of life. He stared at his sister and shook his head, looking every bit the disappointed professor or master.
Natsumi made sure neither Mai nor Zuko were looking and then stuck her tongue out at her older brother. He sneered at the childish action and then went back to his own dinner. Little Akihiko, meanwhile, had cleaned up the rest of his food, most of it reaching his mouth by way of his fingers.
"All gone," he stated proudly and held up his empty bowl for everyone to see.
"Someone was hungry!" Zuko looked at his youngest child with affection and then gave him a wink. "I'll bet you're ready for dessert."
"Yeah," Akihiko shouted. "Me love dessert!"
Zuko got up from his seat and moved to the door, where he pulled on the thick red cord that rang a bell in the kitchen. A servant would come shortly to remove the dinner dishes and then bring tea and dessert. On the way back to his chair, he stopped by Mai's seat, leaning down and whispering in her ear.
"Not hungry tonight?" His eyes and voice both held worry. Really, Mai could get a splinter and he would fret. And his concern hadn't lessened over the years.
"No, not particularly; but I'm looking forward to my tea." She reached up and grabbed for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Zuko brushed her temple with his lips and then sat down again. All three of their children watched this exchange carefully. They were used to seeing affection between their parents and much as Yasahiro especially, moaned sometimes, they all loved it.
The kids ate dessert with gusto while Zuko poured both he and Mai a cup of good, potent jasmine tea. They sipped slowly, savoring the taste of Iroh's own special brew, shipped to them from the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se regularly.
Leaning back a bit in her chair, Mai took another long draught and sighed contentedly. "Your uncle is a genius."
Zuko chuckled. "He would be glad to hear you say that. I think that all of Ba Sing Se agrees."
"We really should visit again soon. The kids love it there." Mai's eyes grew hazy with reminiscence and her body stilled completely for a moment.
"I wanna go to see Uncle," Natsumi declared. There was a dab of red fruit filling on her chin and another on the cream coloured tablecloth near her plate. She scooped that one up and ate it then rubbed at the patch on her skin, Zuko pointing to his own to guide her.
"Soon," the Fire Lord appeased. "But we need to make plans first."
"Come on children," Mai prodded, breaking the spell. "You have school tomorrow and should get your baths now. Let's go."
The Fire Lady stood up and took little Akihiko by the hand, leading him down the hallway to his own little room, next door to the huge one shared by her and Zuko.
"Don't remind me; I have a test in history tomorrow and Mr. Kato said it's going to be really hard." Yasahiro looked put upon but really he adored learning just about anything and had a sharp mind, suited for studies.
"Did you study?" Zuko asked.
"Yes, Dad, I studied a lot."
"Then you'll do just fine." His voice was reasonable and he gave the boy's ponytail a tug.
"Aww, Dad, don't do that," the boy complained. "I'm too old."
"And who exactly will see?" Zuko looked at his son pointedly and waited for a response.
"No one, but I still hate it."
Yasahiro walked faster, moving ahead of his family. Just to bug him, Zuko sped up too and gave the pitch black hair another gentle pull. He laughed and then rubbed the boy's hair affectionately.
"Go get ready for bed. Your mother and I will be in to say goodnight soon."
"Fine," the boy replied and shot his father a grin.
The Fire Lord helped their little boy with his bath while Mai made certain that Natsumi was all right on her own. By the time an hour had passed, the two younger children were safe in bed, one sound asleep and one drifting off.
"Yasahiro should be finished by now." Zuko poked his head in the ten year old boy's doorway and looked around his room. It was scrupulously neat with all his books, toys and special belongings organized into groups, some in boxes and some displayed on shelves or in cabinets. "Is it normal for a kid to be this clean?"
Mai giggled. "I don't know if there is a normal. He's a good boy who likes to keep his things in their proper places. Enjoy it; who knows if the neat stage will last?"
"I'm just brushing my teeth," their older son called out to them.
His parents entered the room and waited for him to finish. Yasahiro came out of his bathroom, his pale skin freshly scrubbed and his hair still damp. Without waiting to be told, the boy climbed into bed and then yawned widely. His eyes were already heavy and he struggled to keep them open.
"All that fresh air today tired you out." Zuko and the children had spent the better part of the day out in the garden playing various games and practicing their bending; well the two older children did. Little Akihiko hadn't shown signs of bending as of yet.
"Mmmmhmmm," the boy agreed and smiled warmly at his mother and father.
He was out cold a few minutes later. Mai ran a hand through his hair and kissed his forehead, then adjusted the sheets and blankets expertly.
"I'm a bit tired too," she confessed.
Zuko gave his son one last look and then grabbed hold of his wife's hand.
After their own shared, relaxing bath and an hour of quiet reading, the couple was ready for bed themselves. Mai brushed out her shiny black hair and dressed in a simple red nightgown while Zuko pulled back the covers.
"You're gorgeous, you know that?" He couldn't help himself. Mai's beauty still overwhelmed him sometimes and his good fortune never ceased to amaze him. Feeling a twinge in his groin, he approached Mai from behind and kissed the side of her neck, pushing back the soft, dark mane. She watched him in the mirror of her vanity and felt her own matching tingle. "Are you game?"
"Definitely," Mai replied and stood up; she pulled off the red silk that was still cool against her skin.
They made love then, slowly, each movement and each touch exquisitely pleasurable. They knew every inch of the other's body, every mark, every dip and every especially sensitive spot. So when Zuko's tongue trailed over her stomach and then her hips, the jutting of her bones felt just a little bit more pronounced. Was she losing weight, he wondered, then pushed the thought out of his mind. His desire and the aching need between his legs obliterated all other thought. But when they were done and Mai slept soundly, tucked in close to him, his eyes traveled her body carefully. Yes, she had lost weight. He could see it now and it frightened him.
*'Weep Not Too Much' from an untitled poem by Anne Bronte.
A/N: This idea came to me out of the blue today and I had to write it because it would not shut up. Inspiration comes partially from Darren Aronofsky's maligned but I think brilliant film, 'The Fountain'. Check it out.