A Play
Characters:
-Mikuo as (Some random) Prince (referred to as 'Prince')-
~Miku as (Some random) King (referred to as 'King')~
-Random Bald Dude as Random Bald Dude (referred to as 'RBD')-
~Kaito as (Some random old man) Shop owner (referred to as 'Old Man')~
-Luka as Assistant Shop owner (referred to as 'Young Lady')-
~Meito as (Some random) Evil Bad Guy (referred to as 'Bad Guy')~
-Gakuko as 'Rumor-Spreader' (referred to as 'Rumor-Spreader')-
~Gumo as Narrator (referred to as 'Narrator)~
-Rinto as ... you have to read to find out (referred to as…)-
Sal: Okay, this isn't a Learning Experience, this is a random story that me, Sof and... SNWDM created randomly out of nowhere (Except Gumo since he might not have been inside when we made it randomly (... 'cause I forgot whether he was :P), and Miku (which means the king wasn't in, too)). Also, since the 'play' was made months ago, it would not be exact, so I'll be changing a lot of stuff (this is to meh sisters) to my own story. (Meaning that the whole thing is created by me, with the very slight remembrance of the thing we did. I only remember that Mikuo was trying to *censored so no spoilers*, and that he met Kaito and Luka and Gakuko, and then stuff, though I don't remember how they did it. At all. I can't remember what exactly they said, so I'm making my own lines for them. Also, he was already at the village when we started.) So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show (eh, if you don't enjoy it, I'm sorry). Well, that's what they say a lot.
Wan, tsuu, tsurii - the play begins right now.
Okay, so now we are at the start of the story.
Narrator: In a kingdom far, far away, there lived a prince named 'Prince Mikuo'. He has sailed the seven seas!
Old Man: What does the seven seas got to do with this?
Narrator: Shut up! You don't appear yet!
Old Man got pushed away.
Narrator: Because Prince Mikuo was turning 16, the King, King Miku-
King: Why am I the king?
Narrator: Uh... because the author wants you to be.
King: Okay, author, but YOU must allow me to beat Kaito up the next time I see him!
Narrator: ... Uh... so, continuing on, King Miku wanted Mikuo (look how the names are so similar) to find a, yes, a bride. Even though it may seem too young for him to do so, just take it that the bride will stay in the kingdom and they can socialise for, like, four years or something. So the kings sits on the throne, like all kings do, and Mikuo... uh... stays on a proposing-to-someone position while bowing down?
King: My (un)dear son, you are now at the age of 16. The laws of the kingdom says... uh... *holds up a long piece of parchment (in the form of a scroll)* It reads *coughs* "When the prince has turned 16, he is required to:
-pee in his pants
-bash his head in the wall, resulting in a massive blood loss
-trip on a banana peel and sprain his butt
-give out a powerful and loud fart, to the extent that there is a hole in his pants and people will keep a distance of 50 meters away from him
-ask someone strong out for a duel and get beaten up to a bloody pulp
-drown in the stormy seas when travelling on a ship
-let me beat him up-"
Old Man: You're just making ALL that up, aren't you?
King: OHOHOHO~! NOW BOW TO ME!
Old Man: Eh, no. *backs away slowly*
King: Damn, I didn't get to beat him up. Jeez, what's with the stupid cape and crown that probably weighs about a hundred kilograms? Plus, being the king sucks. You have to glue your cape to the chair and sit on it for hours...
Prince: Uh, father? Are you done when the requirements?
King: ... Huh? What requireme- Ohhhhhh, the requirements!
Prince: Uh, yes, the requirements. Ah... ha... ha...
King: OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!
Prince: Uh... ha... ha... ha... *forcing himself to laugh realistically because he doesn't know why Miku's laughing so much*
King: Now, SILENCE! I will now read to you the TRUE requirements!
Old Man: And how do you expect us to believe you?
King: SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU OLD HAG! You greedy bastard! Wanting for more air time, eh? Well, it's NOT YOUR TIME YET, B****!
Old Man: Do I look female to you?
King: DO YOU THINK I'M BLIND?!
Old Man: Who knows?
Young Lady: Uh, I think we should go now; this isn't the time for our appearance yet.
Old Man: Oh, okay.
Narrator: They leave without any respect for the king!
King: Geh, like I care anyways...
Prince: (You could always call for the guards, you know...) Um, father, the requirements...
King: Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot.
Prince: 'Forgot'?
King: I forgot where I put it.
Prince: *stares at Miku emotionlessly*
King: What? I know I'm very handsome~
Prince: *continues to stare at Miku emotionlessly*
King: Eh, whatever. Okay, since I can only remember one, just do it.
Prince: Do what?
King: Didn't I already tell you?
Prince: Uh... did you?
King: Seems like I did.
Prince: Eh?
Narrator: And so, with that, he was pushed out of the kingdom. The kingdom door was immediately closed, leaving Mikuo out of the kingdom. Without anything in mind, he set off on a journey, feeling that it was to find a bride. (Okay, to those of you who are wondering, I said that the King only wanted Prince Mikuo to find a bride, but, if you observed carefully, the King was just beginning to talk about it. So he actually didn't say it yet.)
Prince: Uh, what am I supposed to do?
Narrator: *whispers* You're supposed to find a bride! I just said that!
Prince: Huh? Oh, okay. *Begins to walk in a random direction*
Narrator: And so, the journey begins!
Prince: WAAAH! *trips over a very obvious stone*
Narrator: Mikuo! Why did you trip over it?
Prince: Huh? *scratches his head* Oh, I thought it was just the flat ground.
Narrator: Uh... okay, so now he sets off!
Prince: *Gets up and bends down to dust himself off*
Narrator: *whispers* You're supposed to go now!
Prince: Huh? Oh, okay, I wi-
Narrator: He was PUSHED by an unknown force to his ship!
Prince: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- OOMPH! *lands on the ground with a loud thud*
Narrator: The ship doesn't move! What could be happening?
Prince: Wait, am I the ONLY ONE HERE?! AAAAAAHHHHH *starts panicking and running around like an idiot*
Narrator: What seems to be the trouble? What is going on with Prince Mikuo? He seems to be very anxious!
Prince: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO 'DRIVE' A SHIP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Narrator: Even though he is in no danger, and the weather is perfectly fine, he seems to be panicking like crazy!
Prince: WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Narrator: He continues screaming in vain. Suddenly, the ship begins to move!
Prince: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!
Narrator: It seems that something unknown is helping the Prince to move the ship!
Prince: SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEBBBBBB BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPP PPPPPPPPPP MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Narrator: The speed of the ship increases!
Prince: *gasps for air*
Narrator: The ship seems to be slowing down! Perhaps it was the Prince's voice itself that allowed the ship to move!
Prince: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!
Narrator: The ship speeds up! The Prince is getting a sore throat! He should eat some manuka honey! (I know that it's totally irrelevant, but some types DO help with sore throats.) Finally, he sees an island in the distance!
Prince: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!
Narrator: The ship comes to a stop when it reaches the island. Prince Mikuo was pushed off the ship by an unknown force and landed down flat on his face. Rubbing his nose, he stands up and resumes his journey!
Prince: Hmm... this seems to be a market...
RBD: OF COURSE IT IS! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!
Prince: WEEEEEEEEHHH!
Narrator: Mikuo seems hurt from his question! He runs off and stops to catch his breath! There he sees an old man with a young lady tending a shop!
Prince: *pants* Do... *pants* do you... *pants* have... *pants* some water?
Young Lady: Ah, yeah, here. *hands Mikuo a bottle of water*
Prince: *DRINKS THE WHOLE THING IN ON GULP and wipes his mouth* Thanks!
Old Man: Why does the author like to make me an old man?
Narrator: ... Because the author wants you to be one?
Yound Lady: What brings you here?
Prince: I have come here... to... find a bri-!
Narrator: Suddenly, a soft ball flew and hit him in the head, causing him to smash into the shop in front of him, creating swirls of dust in the air (like they do in action manga). The shop was partially destroyed.
Old Man: ... *gives Mikuo a deadpan look* Are you a pervert or something?
Prince: Huh? What makes me one?
Narrator: The swirls of dust had cleared. The old man (Old Man: I'm not an old man.) was staring down at Prince Mikuo, who was... on the ground on top of some broken piles of wood, who was also staring up at the old man (Old Man: I said I wasn't old.).
Young Lady: *coughs* Now our shop is broken...
Prince: What's a 'pervert'?
Old Man: Uh... never mind... *looks away for some reason* W-who would want to sail all the way here for... an... under... garment...?
Prince: Huh? Oh, no, I was just interrupted when the ball hit me (who threw it, anyway?). I meant 'bride', not 'br-'
Old Man: Shut up, before I stuff your mouth with wood!
Young Lady: Uh... clothing... aside... what about the shop?
Prince: Oh, I can pay for it! Here! *hands them some jewellery (however you spell them)*
Young Lady: Ah... this is...
Prince: Don't worry! I'm a pr-
Old Man: Shut up, before I stuff your mouth with wood!
Prince: Didn't you say that just now?
Old Man: If I had let you continue, you would be broke.
Prince: Huh?
Young Lady: *whispers* There are some greedy people around this area.
Prince: Huh? Ohhhhhhhh. Okay, I get it. Thanks.
Young Lady: Hmm... I suppose you don't know this place very well. How about you go there? *points to place opposite of their (broken) shop* Inside is said to be a rumor-spreader.
Prince: I see... a tent... which I suppose is supposed to be decorated with stars... but is decorated with... uh...
Old Man: Eggplants.
Prince: Huh? Those are eggplants?
Young Lady: Yes, they are eggplant designs.
Prince: Oh yeah... now that you said it... they ARE eggplant designs!
Old Man and Young Lady: *facepalms*
Narrator: Yes, indeed it WAS very obviously an eggplant-decorated tent.
Prince: Okay, since you recommended it... this island looks strange... bye! Thanks for the help! *runs off and steps into the tent*
Old Man and Young Lady: *laughs in an annoyed way with smiling mouth twitching* (this island looks strange?)
Narrator: Okay! So now, Prince Mikuo steps into the tent and finds himself in a very cramp place. He sees a lady using a handkerchief to cover her mouth and head. To him, she looked like a purple-haired bandit lady holding a crystal ball which stunk of eggplants and cockroaches for some reason.
Rumor-Spreader: Please sit.
Prince: Okay.
Rumor-Spreader: What would you ask this rumor-spreader?
Prince: ... Aren't you a fortune-teller?
Rumor-Spreader: NO! I AM A RUMOR-SPREADER!
Prince: *smiles in an annoyed way for some reason* But you look like a fortune-teller to me.
Rumor-Spreader: NO! THEN YOU MUST BE BLIND! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOUR FORTUNE?
Prince: UH, NO, THANK YOU, NO NEED TO SHOUT.
Rumor-Spreader: I predict... *rolls the crystal ball all around the cloth that is on the table*
Prince: (She's ignoring mmeeeeeeeee!) Hey, wait, WHY ARE YOU SQUASHING ALL THOSE COCKROACHES?! THEY'RE MAKING ALL THESE 'squish-squish' SOUNDS!
Rumor-Spreader: I do not squash cockroaches with this ball. There is no cockroach in my tent.
Prince: THEN WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SQUASHED COCKROACHES ON THE BALL AND THE CLOTH ON THE TABLE?! IT'S LIKE THEIR TALKING TO ME OR SOMETHING!
Rumor-Spreader: I predict...
Prince: (SHE DIDN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAID!)
Rumor-Spreader: I predict...
Prince: (GAH! IT'S LIKE I'M NON-EXISTENT!)
Rumor-Spreader: Shut up, you're not a Gintama character! You're disrupting my concentration with your retarded thinking!
Prince: *stares at Gakuko with a Ō^Ō face*
Rumor-Spreader: I predict that... you will be married to a cockroach.
Narrator: Now, what would you think Mikuo's reaction would be? Yes, he was-
Prince: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO! I COULDN'T BE THAT DESPERATE! *imagines a wedding full of his relatives AND the cockroach's relatives and the cockroach in a white wedding dress and Mikuo waving (so-called) happily holding hands with... the... cockroach...*
Rumor-Spreader: Ooh, sorry, it was just a squashed cockroach stuck to my ball. *flicks the roach off with her bare hands*
Prince: (AND YOU SAID THAT THERE WASN'T A COCKROACH IN YOUR TENT JUST NOW!)
Rumor-Spreader: You will be married to... ah, the image disappeared. That will be *** dollars.
Prince: ... What?
Rumor-Spreader: I'M NOT A FORTUNE-TELLER!
Prince: ... Since when did I say tha-
Rumor-Spreader: I'll tell you a rumor after you pay up.
Prince: Ah, okay, here. *hands Gakuko some gems*
Rumor-Spreader: OH EM GEE! THIS IS AWESOME! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
Prince: Huh? (Oh... em... gee? What's that supposed to mean?)
Narrator: Apparently, the gems he gave her were eggplant-like (in appearance).
Rumor-Spreader: Okay, never mind! Since you gave me something this cool, I'll tell you a rumor! There is a princess living in a kingdom up the hill! But there are a lot of trees surrounding the kingdom, so not many people know about it. (Even though it IS a kingdom.)
Prince: Okay... so the princess is there?
Rumor-Spreader: *puts hands on her hips and looks at him with half-closed eyes* Didn't I just say that?
Prince: Hmm... let me see... oh yeah! You said that 4 lines ago!
Rumor-Spreader: *facepalms*
Prince: So I can marry her?
Rumor-Spreader: What do you think?
Prince: I can! X3
Rumor-Spreader: FORTUNE-TELLING!
Narrator: And with that random outburst, Mikuo suddenly flew out of the tent for some reason.
Prince: Okay! The journey continues!
Narrator: But what he didn't know was, there was someone following him...
Bad Guy: Why was I given this role?
Narrator: SHUTTAP.
Bad Guy: What?
Narrator: Do you need a hearing aid or something? I clearly said 'shut up'.
Bad Guy: *sigh*
FASUTO FOWARUDO!
Narrator: The prince beats the bad guy like a professional!
Mikuo: Heh. *smirks*
Bad Guy: Wait-!
Narrator: Prince Mikuo dug up a hole and put the bad guy inside –like a professional!– and covered the hole, leaving the bad guy's head to stick out.
Prince: *smiles like some kind of hero and starts to turn, pushing his hair back into place when it was flowing 'beautifully' in the wind and talks in a kind, gentle way* Mister, you're much older than me. (Bad Guy: O^O) You should have known better. I've let you live, stuck in here, because I want you to reflect, atone for your sins... (Bad Guy: What did I even do...) Once you've done so, I'll help you get out. Turn over a new leaf; become a good person. (Bad Guy: I AM a good person.) You will enjoy life in a better way.
Bad Guy: ... What the hell? I was just dragged into this stupid play...
Prince: Farewell, my friend! *expects Meito to be surprised at being called a 'friend' because 'he had never heard someone calling him a friend'*
Bad Guy: Like I care anyways...
Prince: No need to thank me, my friend~!
Bad Guy: Ugh.
Prince: Goodbye~!
Bad Guy: What the heck.
Prince: I'll come back later~! Don't worry~!
Bad Guy: I DON'T even want you to come back.
Prince: Bye~!
Bad Guy: Stop talking with those curly-whirly things! It makes you sound ga-
Old Man: Shut up, before I stuff your mouth with wood!
Bad Guy: ... That was random.
Narrator: So the prince continues with his journey! He arrives at the castle!
Bad Guy: I haven't even gotten a proper debut!
Narrator: SHUTTAP! You want the author to describe every little detail about the fight you got with Prince
Mikuo? It'll be really sad for you!
Bad Guy: Well, *whistles*(fooo!), I'd best be on my way now!
Narrator: So the red bastard walks away! (Bad Guy: ... What?)
Prince: Oh, princess! I have come to meet yo- Ah, that's sounds kind of strange. Rinto~!
Bad Guy: YOU SOUND SO CASUAL AS IF YOU'D MET BEFORE!
Prince: Rinto! It's like it has been some years since I last saw you!
Bad Guy: *face palms* So you're just changing the whole story just because I said that... Plus, you just saw him a few hours ago (before the play started), boke.
Prince: Let's get married, Princess Rinto!
Princess: Yes! And it has been years since I last saw you!
Bad Guy: Ugh, I give up.
Princess: Where are we off to, my Prince~?
Prince: To my kingdom, to tell my father I have found MY one perfect bride!
Princess: Oh, Mikuo~!
Prince: Rinto~!
Princess: Mikuo~!
Bad Guy: UGGGGGHHHHH! STOP USING THOSE WIGGLY THINGS!
Narrator: After that, the guy attained a hatred for '~'s.
Prince: Let's go!
Narrator: Rock music plays in the background! Mikuo has summoned a... a leek mobile! With it's ultra-smooth ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************** [fast-forward-ed, because there's a lot of details to... compliment... the... leek... mobile...], it's sure to bring them back to the castle in a flash! They wave to the towns people!
Old Man, Young Lady, Bad Guy and Rumor-Spreader: ... Ah, so it's him.
Narrator: The prince returns to his home with his beautiful bride!
King: Ah, so you have come back, my (stupid) son.
Prince: Yes I have, father.
King: Who is that with you?
Prince: My bride, father.
King: Your what?
Prince: My bride.
King: What?
Prince: My BRIDE.
King: Oh, pfffffft- You're not joking?
Prince: Am I, Rinto?
Princess: No, you're not.
Prince: Oh, okay. Then, I'm not, father! :)
King: OH, COME ON! HOW MANY FRIGGIN' GAY MARRIAGES ARE THERE GONNA BE IN THIS FAMILY?!
Prince: Huh? What do you mean, father?
King: Are you retarded or something? Look! You two are guys!
Prince: Huh?
King: UGH! AM I THE ONLY NORMAL ONE IN THIS FAMILY OR SOMETHING?!
Prince: Huh? No, all of us are normal!
King: WHATEVER! JEEZ! DO WHATEVER THE FREAKING HELL YOU WANT!
Prince: Okay!
King: ... *face palms*
Narrator: So the prince marries his new wife, Rinto, and lives a very content life full of leeks, oranges and carrots.
Bad Guy: Isn't it supposed to be 'lived happily ever after'?
Narrator: Nah, that's too unoriginal and undescriptive. By the way, having a life full of leeks, oranges and carrots, especially, is very nice.
Bad Guy: ... Somehow I find this conversation annoying.
Narrator: Because you suck.
Bad Guy: ... -_-
Narrator: THE END!
Let me tell you this: I'm not exactly following the rules of the script because I feel too lazy to write out 'Scene 1' and 'Scene 2' and stuff.
For your irrelevant information, this is the first story not written in Microsoft Word, but immediately in this fanfiction website. Thank you for knowing about this irrelevant information. :)
Oh yeah, the random bald dude was created by Sof, and I just added him inside without permission. Eh, sorry about that, Sof, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I took a while to decide who would be a random market person. Suddenly, he popped up in my head. Sorry also for making him mean. I guess he's supposed to be nice. Also, I didn't name him... Harada? Because I thought people normally called him 'Random Bald Dude'. Sorry. Eh, thanks, Sof. :)
Thank you for reading and may you have a good day, sir/madam! (Or dudes)
Be happy, don't let your troubles prevent you from enjoying your life at all.
Now some credits before we end this:
Original Story: Sof, Sal & Sab (Meh and meh sisters :D)
I kind of changed the story. A lot. :D
Sankyu! Bai bai!
30 March- 8 April 2013 :D