Am I in Middle Earth,
or Am I Under the Influence of Mushrooms?
Amphisbene was one of Territo's most renown mushroom hunters. In this desolate land by the sea, mushrooms had long ago acquired the ability to both walk and talk. The inhabitants of this quaint nation had long grown tired of the mushrooms' incessant yammering and stomping upon people's toes.
Amphisbene's personal mantra was inspired by Alexander the Great: "You can run, but you can't hide!" She applied these wise words to every aspect of her life, which did not garner her many friends. In fact, many compared her to the very mushrooms she hunted.
On a warm summer's eve, as Amphisbene returned home from a long victorious day of hunt, she spied from the corner of her eye, one of the bothersome mushrooms hurling insults at an infant nearby. The child shrieked with horror, a look of distress mummified on its little round face. "Oh dear me, what a nasty fucking mushroom!" she exclaimed, gasping at the scene before her.
The mushroom turned around abruptly, hearing the sound of her shrill voice and sped off into the adjacent corn field. Appalled by its mannerless behaviour, she pursued the squealing mushroom through rows and rows of plantation, until they reached a clearing. Suddenly, Amphisbene lost the mushroom from sight, as it slid into a narrow hole in the ground. She came to a halt at the edge of the void, and with absolute conviction she bellowed, "You can run, but you can't hide!" before diving head first into the abyss!