Chapter One

Blaine Anderson shuffled down the hallway of McKinley High School, staring down at the ground as he slowly made his way to glee club rehearsal. It had been more than a month since his relationship with Kurt ended, but he still replayed every bit of their nasty breakup over and over again in his head. It was a nightmare that he could never wake up from.

The glee club reached out to him after the break-up, saying they were there for him. Would they be, he wondered, if they knew what he'd done? How he'd betrayed the trust of Kurt? Maybe he had a whole group of people there for him, but the truth was that he'd never felt more alone in his life.

He made it to the choir room and had a seat in the top row of chairs, all the way in the corner. It had become his new spot. He liked for no one to sit by him, he could observe and not take part of the activity. He was still detached from what was going on, but at least he was there. He was doing something besides thinking about Kurt.

Everyone else came into the room as time went on, and Blaine was happy that no one sat next to him, as per usual. But suddenly, not everything was normal. Sam Evans shot him a smile and sat right next to him.

"Hey, Mr. President," Sam said. "This seat taken?"

"S-Sam," Blaine mumbled.

"Good job, that's my name," Sam laughed. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Blaine asked.

"Well, ever since you and Kurt broke up you've hardly said a word to any of us," Sam said. "We've all just been letting you go through whatever you need to go through. But come on, dude, enough time has passed."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Blaine insisted.

"You're not the first person in the world to go through a break-up, Blaine," said Sam. "In fact, I think most people in this glee club have… You're tight with Finn, have you talked to him about it?"

"I don't need to talk to anyone!" Blaine said, his voice raising now. "I just need to be left alone. You don't need to talk to me."

"Maybe you are fine. I don't know. But you really don't seem that way. I'm your friend – at least, I think I am – and I'm worried about you. Why does that have to be a bad thing?"

"Because I'm fine!" Blaine yelled. He got out of his chair and pushed past Finn, who was just entering the room after finding a new dry erase marker to use.

"Um, what just happened?" Finn asked.

"The gay one had a meltdown or something," said Kitty. "No surprises here."

The next day Blaine walked into school and made his way to his locker, and he groaned when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Sam. Again.

"What do you want now?" Blaine asked.

"What the hell is your problem?" said Sam. "I'm just trying to help. I'm not the only one that's worried. Everyone in glee club is… except Kitty, but she doesn't really care about anyone. Except herself. And maybe Jake? I don't know."

"Did you have a point, or…?"

Sam sighed. "Tell me what's wrong. I have a free period this morning and I heard you've kind of been skipping class anyways… Let's go to the Lima Bean."

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Let's go to the Lima Bean and you can tell me what happened between you and Kurt. I think I've seen enough to realize that this wasn't just a regular 'long-distance relationship isn't working out' thing. Something happened, right?"

There was a beat as neither of them said anything.

"C'mon, Blaine. Yes or no?" Sam asked.

Blaine took a deep breath before saying, "Just one thing."

"What is it?"

"I don't want to go to the Lima Bean."

"Why not?"

"That's where I told Kurt I love him." He wiped his eyes in an attempt to ensure that no tears manage to escape. He was relieved when he discovered they were dry.

Sam nodded his head. "I get that. Come on, we can go to Breadstix instead. Is that okay? No tough memories?"

Blaine laughed. "You know, there are. But I'm starting to realize there are memories of Kurt no matter where I go. So I'm going to at least try not to let it stop us. Let's go."

"You sure?" Sam asked him with genuine concern in his eyes.

Right then, somehow, for the first time in what felt like forever, Blaine smiled. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Awesome!" Sam exclaimed, and lightly patted Blaine on the back.

Blaine felt chills go down his spine at Sam's touch. He was confused, but he laughed. It felt surprisingly good to just talk to someone again; to have a friend.

Sam and Blaine were finishing their meal at Breadstix. Blaine was just having a bowl of potato soup – he wasn't very hungry, as always. Sam was having a massive plate of spaghetti and meatballs as he shoved breadsticks into his mouth.

"Are you worried this is the last meal you'll have?" Blaine asked. He then recoiled a little, realizing this was insensitive. Sam's parents were jobless and they'd recently moved back to Lima and started living in a small apartment in Lima Heights. Money was a touchy subject with Sam.

But Sam just laughed. "No, dude. It's just good. Food, you should try it sometime."

Blaine still felt awkward. "Do you want me to pay for this?"

"Why would I want you to? You just got soup."

"Well…"

"Blaine, I don't need any money," Sam said, narrowing his eyes with just the slightest bit of annoyance. "Once in a while I help Finn out at the tire shop and he pays me what he can. Plus, my dad got a construction job and my mom started working at Target. We're not rich, but we're fine. I wouldn't ask you to come with me for lunch if I couldn't pay for it… That'd kind of be a dick move."

"Oh I'm… I'm sorry, Sam."

"Don't be," Sam said. "Just remember that I'm not a charity case. Please. I know you're loaded and everything but I don't need your help."

"That's fair," said Blaine.

Sam allowed Blaine to finish his soup before he asked the question he'd been holding for the entire meal. "So, what really happened with you and Kurt?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Blaine…"

"Sam."

"It'll feel better to tell someone. I promise."

Blaine buried his face into his hands just for a moment to gather his thoughts. Then he put his head back up and looked into Sam's perfectly green eyes, and then stared at his empty plate before he got lost in them. He kept thinking of how to lightly phrase what he'd done, how to make it sound better. He wondered if he should even tell Sam at all. But he decided to just rip it off, like a Band-Aid.

"I cheated on Kurt," he said. "I had sex with another guy."

Sam spit out just a little bit of his Coke. "You?"

"Yes, me. I know, I'm awful. I'd understand if you want me to leave, or if you don't like me anymore. I don't really like myself, to be honest. He was the only thing in my life that meant something. That made me feel alive. Without him I just feel empty, and it's my own fault."

"Whoa, Blaine," said Sam. "Calm down. You just made a mistake. I know you, I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt Kurt. I mean, did you?"

"Of course not."

"There you go!" said Sam. "Does Kurt know that you're sorry?"

"I tried to tell him on opening night of Grease," said Blaine. "He didn't want to hear it. I guess I can understand that. I wouldn't want to talk to me either."

"Hey, you've really got to stop being so hard on yourself. It's not like whatever guy you were with meant anything, right?"

"That's the worst part," Blaine said. "I barely knew him. I think he was an old classmate from Dalton. I think. I don't even know. His name was Eli… I honestly don't even know his last name." He put his head down into his hands again and let out a deep sigh. Sam decided it best to let him stay that way until their check had arrived and they left together.

Sam was driving Blaine home and feeling awkward as Blaine only stared out the window. He turned on the radio and winced when "Teenage Dream" started playing. He knew that song would only remind Blaine of Kurt, so he quickly turned off the radio. Blaine didn't seem to notice.

"You know, I don't really know where I'm going anymore…" said Sam. "You might want to start talking. Just to give me directions. You don't have to, just if you want to get home or something."

Blaine glared at Sam and started giving him directions, feeling like he couldn't get home fast enough. Perhaps Sam's heart was in the right place, but Blaine didn't appreciate how hands-on he was being.

Once Sam felt like he knew where he was going, he asked, "By the way, have your parents been helping you out with the break-up?"

"No…" Blaine said quietly. "They don't really support that."

"Support what?"

"Me being… who I am."

"You mean being gay, right? They don't support you being gay?"

"Yes Sam, that's exactly what I mean."

Sam frowned. As if it wasn't already awkward enough. "I'm really sorry, Blaine."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I don't really mind, actually. They don't walk on eggshells around me like everyone else does. They think I'm fine."

"How much time do you actually spend with them? Your dad is some rich CEO who lives in New York or something, right? And your mom is married to some rich CEO who lives in New York."

"Yeah, we're not really close," said Blaine. "Cooper helped me a lot when I was growing up."

"But he's living in Los Angeles now," Sam said. "He can't help you anymore."

"I actually never even told them Kurt was my boyfriend. I'm sure they knew, I just never told them. I knew it would just make things awkward for them, and it wouldn't make things great for me either. I don't know, it just seems easier."

"Wait, are you trying to say they don't even know you're going through a break-up?"

"Nope," said Blaine. "As far as they know Kurt was a friend from school and occasional tutor."

"And you're really fine with that?" Sam asked. He wasn't sure if he bought all this. How could Blaine be happy keeping that much of his life away from his family?

"Like I said, yes. It's better than being judged."

Right then, Sam pulled into Blaine's driveway. His house was unsurprisingly huge and breathtakingly beautiful. There was a large garden full of flowers, with a water fountain in the center. It was exactly what you'd imagine, Sam thought.

Sam stopped the car and Blaine started to open his door, saying, "Bye, Sam."

"Why are you saying bye?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, cocking his head to the side just a bit. "I'm going inside of my house. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Oh, no," Sam said. "But I am too."