A.N. All right - I'm reloading this to fix a couple grammar issues and shorten the A.N.
Mostly, this isn't going to be a multi-chaptered fic; it's going to be a set of one-shots/vignettes chronicling Clark and Lois' relationship as I would like to see it, and they'll be posted as I write them, not chronologically. They'll sort of be a companion to An Office Romance, although it doesn't need to be read to understand this one.
Also, while I love feedback -- I'll admit it, I love it -- I'm not going to hold my fic 'hostage' until I get some; I'll post as I write, and if you want to leave a review I would really, really appreciate it, but don't worry if you're the only one who does - I'll still post more until I'm out of ideas : ).
One last thing, about this vignette in particular: Most of my stories are going to be happy-themed rather than sad -- AOR is a good example of my general work-- and this is really one of the few exceptions to that.
Well, with that out of the way, enjoy the story!
Moments in Time: If Sorrow were Forgiveness
Richard White was a good, honorable man; Superman wouldn't have trusted him to care for Lois and Jason otherwise. Not that he could have -- or would have -- ever stopped Lois from being with whomever it was she wanted to, but still; it gave him peace of mind to know that, if she had to be with someone, it was a man like Richard, who loved her and Jason with his entire heart.
There were some things even Richard couldn't do, though, and it put a strain on their relationship. She had thought things would be fine, after the New Krypton incident, even though they now had irrefutable proof that Jason wasn't his biological son. That had been a blow, but Richard still treasured Jason as his own, and they had worked past it. But then had come the earthquake, and the building collapse, and Superman saving her and Jason where no one else could. Outwardly everything had been fine and dandy, Richard content to be glad that they were all right, but he and she both knew something had changed irreparably. Richard was one of the best men she knew, yes, but he was still a man, and for him to know that someone loved his fiancé and the son he considered his own, to know that this man had saved their lives more times than he could count, and to know that there would always be a part of Lois that flew away with Superman every time she saw him leave, to know that - it hurt him more than anything ever had.
Lois leant back in the rocking chair and sighed. Two days, now -- two days since Richard had taken an assignment in China. It was only a trial separation; he would be back in a couple of weeks.
Lois sighed again and stirred the rocking chair lightly. Same rocking chair she had sat in, the day they brought Jason back from the hospital. Richard had been so happy that day: he had hovered over her, petting their son and taking picture after picture until she had told him to stop acting like Jimmy.
Except that there was the rub, wasn't it? Jason wasn't their son, not really. Not his son. Richard had always known their was a chance that Jason wasn't his, but he had chosen to love and care for the boy anyway, never even suggesting that he wanted proof.
It had been wonderful all those years, working out better than she could have imagined. But now things were different. Ever since Jason had pushed the piano on board the Gertrude she had known, in heart if not in mind. He had been a wonderful father to Jason, but there were things he could not give the boy now. Richard might have had the heart of a superhero, but he just did not have the powers, and no amount of wishing would change that.
It wasn't all Superman's fault, not really. No matter how much Lois wanted to blame him for this situation, wanted to hate him, she couldn't. If he hadn't left she would never have started seeing Richard, true, but if he had had the slightest idea she was pregnant he never would have left, she knew that much.
It was partly both their own faults, partly a set of unfortunate and unforeseeable circumstances. The only truly blameless one was Richard, and of course he was going to pay the heaviest price for it.
Just a trial separation, they had said. Just a few weeks to get our heads straight, to think things through.
Lois didn't know what would happen in the future -- whether they would stay together or not; she just knew, no matter what happened, things would never be the same for either one of them.
I'm so sorry, Richard, she pled in her mind as if that thought could comfort the man half a world away. So sorry. . . and Lois sighed once more, rocking herself gently as the tears burned behind her eyes.