A/N: In this story Rachel never dated Finn or Jesse because I want a different story.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters I simply enjoy putting them in situations that I enjoy and then i put them back where they belong with Ryan.
Rachel's POV
I am sitting in the choir room waiting for Mr. Shuester to come into the room so he can give us the assignment for the week. Everyone in glee club are talking to one another and I am sitting in the front row looking at musical selections that I want to suggest we do at sectionals which is in a month and we have not even started to practice for it yet. But every time I mentioned it I was shoot down and told that Glee club was for fun and that we would start when Mr. Shue says we will. So I have given up so anyway I am reading through my sheets when my phone vibrates when I look to see who the message was from I get seriously mad, the message is from Finn.
Finn: Hey Rach do you want to go out after glee club?
Me: No I do not want to but thank you.
Finn: Why not?
Me: I do not like you like that and I am really busy I have to babysit some kids from temple. Sorry.
After I hit send I hear a gasp of shock and before the person could do anything else Mr. Shue comes in the room and writes 'Country' on the board in orange marker and he starts to talk. "Okay guys this week I want you to pick a country song that you enjoy or that you find is inspirational and if you do not want to sing more than one that is fine." He says the last part staring at me and I yell out a loud scream in my head. "Does anyone have a song that they would like to perform." Before I can even raise my hand the bell rings and Mr. Shue releases us when I get home I run upstairs and I call my best friend Darcy and when I look at the time on the clock I notice that it is 1:30 am and she is probably asleep and I will call her in the morning. At about 3:00 in the morning I get a call from someone that wakes me up as I groggily pick it up I see the caller I.D. flash dad with a picture and i answer it. "Hi dad" I say and I can hear sniffling in the background. "Rachel you need to come to the hospital right now." He tells me. "Why?" I ask very confused about why I need to go to the hospital. After a few seconds of silence my dad answers about to start crying. "Tori" that is all my dad says breaking down crying and someone else grabs the family. "Baby?" My papa asks when he gets the phone "Yes papa" I ask "Tori is in the hospital she does not look good you need to hurry she wants to see you." He says breaking down towards the end of his sentence. I hung up the phone and threw on the hoddie that she got me for Hanukah and ran to my car with just my keys and phone.
When I get to the hospital all of the family is sitting in the waiting room when they see me they give me a massive hug. "What happened?" I ask no one in particular. "Well Tori was walking home from school when these kids from her school threw trash at her and they called her some names and they pushed her to the ground. These kids have been bullying her for the past couple of months and the people keep getting more violent. When she got home she wrote a letter and she hung herself from her shower rod." My aunt says crying and everyone else crying. "Why were they bullying her for she is such a sweet person." I ask pissed that they have been bullying her so bad she wanted to kill herself. "They have been bullying her because she is a special needs person." My aunt tells me and starts to cry again, that is when I walk into her hospital room I gasp in shock and try really hard not to cry. She is laying in the bed with a breathing tube in that I was told is to help her breathe because she cannot breathe on her own. . I start to cry as I grab her hand and start to talk to her. "Tori its Rachel I am here now and so is the rest of the family is in the waiting room. I will be really sad if you leave but as you said when we were talking about grandpa the world is our temporary home and that we just pass through and live until we find our place and pass away to go to heaven. So if you feel like you need to leave than please at least I know you will be in a good place." After I said that the machine that is monitors her heart goes from small beats to a flat line and the nurses run in the room and push me out.
When the doctors leave the room they have a solemn look on their face and the doctor comes towards us and lead us to the bad news room. When he tells us she is dead everyone starts to cry including me and after a little while after we stop crying we all leave except my aunt and uncle who have to identify the body. When I get home I start to get ready for school but when I see Tori's sweater I just get in bed a curl into a ball and sob. "Baby you need to get up you have to go to school." My father says it tears in his eyes knowing that I do not want to go but I have a test so I have to go. When I get to school I see everyone with happy faces and laughing and it makes me sad that I will never see my cousin ever again. I go through all of my classes in a sad and quiet state and I ignore everyone. When it is time for glee club I do not really want to attend I just want to go home and crawl in bed. I enter the choir room and I am the first person as always and I am waiting for it to start and start to think of my cousin and what I will miss the most of her and then I start to cry until I notice someone enter the room and I dry my tears immediately. As I look up I see that the person who entered the room was Kurt and he was not alone he was with Tina and Mercedes and the three of them ignored me which I was grateful for.
Throughout the whole day everyone from glee ignores me which makes me happy because I do not want to tell them why I am upset not that they would care. I go to school the next day and then my father's pull me out for a week when it is time to say good bye to my cousin. The ceremony was good they had me sing one of our favorite songs and there were a few more songs. After the ceremony the males of the family carried her casket to her final resting place. The next week I was allowed to stay at home and grieve her the way I wanted to and my fathers stayed at home a grieved as well. When the week was over I was forced to go back to school and I wore a black skirt with a purple shirt my cousins favorite color. I drove my school and when I arrived I noticed that everyone was staring at me and whispering as I walked down the hallway. By the time that it was time for glee I was absolutely done and just wanted to go home because I was sick of the looks. I thought that the looks would stop in glee but I was worrying because they stared at me and whispered. Until Mr. Schue graced us with his presence finally and as he saw me he rolls his eyes to begin writing a word on the board. "Everyone the theme for this week is friendship I want you guys to sing either one of your best friends songs or a song that reminds you of them. The song can be either a happy or sad song and you can sing more than one if you would like." Mr. Shue tells us and everyone shakes their head and they start to talk to one another about the sing they want to sing and I am thinking of a song for my cousin.
This assignment is so hard especially since my cousin died less than two weeks ago and now I have to sing one of Tori's favorite songs. I have decided that I am going to sing two songs in honor of her and one is her favorite that makes her happy and the other is one that I like.
The day after I have decided to do both songs it is Friday the last day that the glee club can perform the songs so I get to sing my songs. When I get to glee club that afternoon I end up waiting fifteen minutes for Mr. Shuster to get in the room. "Does anyone have a song that they would like to perform?" He asks as he walks into the room and I raise my hand. "Mr. Shue if you do not mind I have something I would like to perform." I say as I raise my hand but I do not tell him that I have two songs planned.
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song,
Uh oh, Uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors
Oh, and, life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life
Oh well, I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life
Oh well, I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
As green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life
Oh well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing
Funny, when you're dead how people start listen'n
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn'
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them,
The sharp knife of a short life oh
Well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys
And I'll wear my pearls
When I get done with the song I can see so many thoughts running through everyone's mind but I do not give them the opportunity to ask me what the song is about because the band starts to play the second song.
It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
During this part I can feel my eyes starting to water but I need to hold in my tears to get through the rest of the song.
Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin' third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun
During this part of the song I started to cry harder and it was getting harder and harder for me to sing this song even though I know that I have to get through it.
Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
And was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place
Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song
After I get done I can see that Kurt and the girls in glee and the band were crying and that most of the boys had sad looks on their faces. That is when I break down and fall to my knees and start sobbing so hard I think that my chest is going to break. I stay like that for god knows how long until someone tries to hug me and I jump back. "Rachel" I hear Brittany say as she was the person who tried to hug me. "Don't touch me" I say as she tried to touch me again. "Rachel what were those songs about?" Mr. Shue asks me and I ignore him as I was still sobbing supper hard. As I am still sobbing I can hear someone else get up and leave the room and when they come back a few minutes later, my sobs subside a little bit. When the second person enters the room they come close but they do not touch me. "Rachel can you please tell me what is wrong with you?"