Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy! Everything belongs to the wonderful author of the trilogy E.L. James.
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Silent Tears
Anastasia's POV
I have been married to Christian for the past three years. The same heat and excitement is ever present in our relationship that existed in the being of our twisted story. In all reality I cannot deny that he has indeed come a long way from the early days of our blooming relationship. However, even three years into our relationship and I still find myself learning new things about my husband. I guess it only serves to reinforce the nickname I designated for him early on. I am snapped out of my thoughts as I feel the car slowly coming to halt and the familiar tug of Christian's hand attempting to gain my attention.
"We're home, Ana." Christian alerted me.
"Alright." I responded, knowing that my continued silence would further his suspicions on what exactly I was thinking about.
I followed him out of the car and towards the winding pathway that led to our home. The sight of the magnificent structure before me still took my breath away every time I lay eyes on it. However, the halls were filled with cold, pristine beauty that remind unscathed since the day we moved in. It served to remind me of the growing hole in my chest. At first it was easy to pretend, to allow myself to stay absorbed in all things Christian; but eventually I could no longer ignore the plea for attention screaming out to me from the very depths of my soul.
"Is there something trouble you?" Christian demanded as his gray eyes bored into mine.
"No, it has been a long day. I am looking forward to a relaxing bath and then sleep." I reply in turn.
Everything in his stare screamed that he did not believe me. His gray eyes bored into mine with the same fierceness and anger that always resided beneath the surface, but I was tired tonight and the will to argue was non-existent.
"I am not looking for an argument tonight." I whispered walking away from him.
The bath was more relaxing than I initially expected, but it soothed to ease the betraying thoughts lingering in my mind. I couldn't allow myself to wallow. No, I was happy. After all, this is what I wanted. However, no matter how much I reminded myself of this very fact recently I still couldn't seem to truly convince myself. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder how much infatuation was involved in many of the decisions that I made.
Realizing that I had spent long enough in the bath, I eased myself out of the tub and grabbed the plush white towel hanging on the rack. Exiting the bathroom I headed to my closet and found a comfortable pair of pajamas that I had added to my collection after much convincing from my part to Christian. After I was finally set, I padded my way towards the bed taking note of my husbands absences. What should have caused a pang in my heart was the lack of feeling at my knowledge of his lacking presence. I wonder when it had become this way for me. How had I allowed this to happen.
"Worry about it another time, Ana." I berate myself before settling down into my plush pillow.
The next morning, I stretched out to find myself tangled in Christian as he slept peacefully. As always I took the time to admire his angelic features as he slept soundly. I softly eased my way out of bed so as to not rouse him, it was always in the mornings when I was at my most vulnerable and a part of me still couldn't bear for him to know the truth.
I got dressed quickly in a red sweater, light brown dress pants, and stunning black heels. I then decided on light makeup and pulling my hair up into a simple, but elegant bun. Satisfied with my appearance, I make way down to Mrs. Jones. She still continued to find a way to make me smile.
"Good morning!" I said cheerfully to her as I entered the kitchen.
"Good morning, Ana." She smiled softly back at me.
Upon the table sat a simple breakfast of pancakes and eggs, which this morning I quickly waffed down before heading to the garage. Anyone in their right mind would notice that I had made it a personal mission to get out as quickly as possible. I nearly made it out of the garage door when I found my pathway blocked.
"You are in a rush this morning." A very familiar voice said with a subtle undertone of amusement.
I slowly looked up into the face of the person standing between me and my escape. I found Taylor starring at me with barely veiled amusement in his eyes.
"I am just trying to ensure, I am on time for work."
"If you say so, Ana." Taylor responded.
"What makes you think any different?"
A dark looked passed through Taylor's eyes almost too quickly to have even been seen. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Christian's many changing moods than I probably would have missed it.
"Normally I value silence, but I know when someone is running. You are running, Ana."
"What do I of all people have to run from? I have a wonderful husband, kids, and a job."
"You are running from a life that you have finally realized you never wanted. Now, well now you are desperately trying to cope, but anyone in their right mind can see you are failing miserably."
"You...you don't know what you are talking about." I stuttered out.
Taylor looked at me sadly before shaking his head. For a very brief moment his eyes shone the same way that Christian's does when he looks at me. It made my heart do a slight flip and then sank into deep depression for this man, for myself, for us because it could never be. I may not love Christian the way I should anymore but I couldn't leave him. Could I?
"You must be mistaken. I love my husband, my kids, my life very much." I practically forced out.
Taylor shook his head in slight disbelief, but his eyes shined with understanding. He knew as well as I that nothing was ever so simple as running. No, the simplicity of life for me ended three years ago with the first contract signed by me. I tore my eyes away from him and skirted around him at the same time unlocking my car. I took a moment to collect my thoughts before backing out and pulling out of my winding driveway. I dared myself to glance back at the man staring at me through my rear view mirror.
"Don't dwell on dreams that will never come true, Ana." I berated myself silently.
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