Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is a work of complete fiction. As for the characters mentioned, this story does not depict their own personal feelings, thoughts, or ideals. Each character belongs to their rightful owners; themselves and WWE.
Note: This is something I had started months ago and just recently found buried in my documents folder. It take place after Seth's turn but before Roman's injury so somewhere in there, you be the judge of the time. Enjoy! -JJ
Patience
Roman sighed as he sat on the edge of the hotel room's bed, his dark grey eyes wondering over the same walls, the colors blurring together. No matter how much he tried, every room was starting to look the same. He shook his head, falling back onto the bed, letting his eyes rest on the white, textured ceiling. His heart was slowly beating in his chest, his hands resting under his head. Slowly, his eyes closed, a slow, uneven, hurt breath escaping his lips.
Dean watched from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall. He hated how down, how depressed the other man still was. He bit his tongue, tasting blood as his back molars touched. He swallowed the thick liquid down, looking down at the carpet.
He hated how they were now, how everything was. He was hurting, probably not quite as much as Roman, but he was still wounded from Seth's betrayal. They'd been best friends, partners in crime, completely unbreakable, brothers to the core.
Brothers.
Dean didn't take the word lightly. He'd seen Seth as blood, someone he trusted, someone he loved. He'd confided in Seth his darkest fears, his brightest goals, his joys, his weaknesses and he'd just been cast aside like it was nothing.
Seth had treated him like nothing, like he was scum, like he was nothing but a piece of nasty, old gum stuck to the bottom of his pretty little shoe. Seth had just casually scraped him off with a stick, leaving him to rot.
Dean snorted softly, thinking that Seth had practically ripped his heart out, causing him to question everything all over. His entire life he'd been alone, he hadn't trusted anyone, hadn't grown to love anyone's friendship like Seth's. He shook his head, trying not to think about everything that Seth had said, how he'd been nothing but a business partner, just someone to use and abuse, someone to control.
Dull nails dug into Dean's arms as his jaw tightened even more, his face tightening up in anger. He'd opened his heart, and Seth had ripped it out. His fiery blue eyes moved over to where Roman's body was laying awkwardly on the bed. He sighed, the anger slowly draining from him. If he'd been torn apart, Seth had shredded Roman to pieces, something so much worse.
Seth and Roman had been more than friends. Their friendship grew into a love so strong, Dean was sure he'd never see something so beautiful again in his life. Seth and Roman were perfect together, they complimented each other in every way. At one point he'd almost been jealous of just how happy they were together, but he knew together they ruled the world. No matter what anyone thought or said, they needed all three of them to make the Shield work.
He blew out a silent sigh, letting his hands fall to his sides, his eyes falling back to the carpet. Roman had seemed to lose himself after Seth had turned. His once happy demeanor and friendly attitude was gone and all that was left was a hollow frown. He was a mere body where a soul had once been.
Roman and Seth had grown close in developmental. It was something Dean had seen even back then. And after they were called up to the main roster, he'd seen their glances, their unnecessary touches grow, the way they looked at each other changed. He knew then that there was something there and it had scared him. He'd grown close to both of them, his brothers, and he was afraid of being left behind again.
But it hadn't happened that way. Instead of pointing it out, he didn't bring attention to their growing attraction; just let it flourish on its own. He didn't want to be the killer of their love, and he was sure he would be if he even tried to help them. He had that effect on things.
It wasn't until he'd walked into the locker room one night after a house show, where they both were standing there, Seth wrapped up in Roman's arms, his face buried in the other man's chest, that he ever said anything. He'd only smiled, finding it hard not to with those two, before he'd said with a laugh, "About fucking time."
Seth had jerked back from Roman with a blush on his cheeks and Roman had looked at him like he was crazy. They'd shared a short, almost awkward laugh before Seth and Roman both had sat down with him that night at the hotel, asking if it was okay, if a relationship between them would be alright with him, with the group.
Dean had been shocked at how they'd included him, asked him if their relationship would be okay with him. He'd been happy to be involved in the decision, one that he really shouldn't be apart of. He'd only chuckled, playing it cool as he told them to do what they wanted as long as they didn't fuck while he was in the room. He held his fears tight, telling himself that Roman and Seth were different, they wouldn't leave him.
And things had went on. Roman and Seth had gotten closer, their love had gone deeper. And with that his friendship with both had grown. Their relationship didn't come between them as friends, or their work. In reality, it had done nothing but bring them even closer.
Dean had seen just how hard Roman was falling for Seth. Everyday, he realized just how deep Roman was in. His entire heart was devoted to Seth and he wasn't the only one that could see it. Roman protected Seth, cradled him when he was hurt, hugged him openly and freely. He was affectionate with Seth, something he didn't do with anyone else.
Dean shook his head again, telling himself not to think about the night that Seth had turned, how distraught and hurt Roman had been. They'd only opened the door to the hotel room, finding that their things were all that were left. He hated how Roman had dropped his bag on the floor, his gear spilling out everywhere before he punched a decent sized hole in the wall.
He'd stood back, sure that Roman would cause more damage, but instead of another punch all he heard was a soft sniffle, a hiccup, and harsh breathing. He'd walked up behind Roman, wrapping his arms around the Samoan's middle, just hugging him, holding him as he silently cried. He didn't say anything, even after the tears had stopped and they were just standing there.
That night him and Roman had slept in the same bed, right next to each other in their street clothes, both too exhausted, too hurt, too angry to even think about changing, showering or even one of them moving to the other bed in the room.
Dean pushed off the wall, walking over to where Roman was laying before he moved to the other side, laying back so that his head rested on Roman's shoulder, the other man moving just slightly so his head was on Dean's. Dean turned so his lips brushed against Roman's temple. This was how it'd been for months. Just him and Roman, just them both feeling so alone. Seth seemed to suck the joy out of them when he'd left. "Talk to me big man," he breathed, pressing a kiss to the soft hair.
Roman's closed eyes opened, his tongue moving out to run over a dry lower lip. "Don't really feel like talking," he murmured, turning his head just slightly to look at Dean. "Your match was really good."
Dean smirked, pressing his forehead against Roman's cheek. "Yeah, you weren't too bad either," he answered, pulling back and reaching up to run his fingers through the long hair. "Hey, smile big man."
Roman tried not to let the words hurt as much as they did. He closed his eyes, turning his head away from Dean, sitting up. Seth had used to call him that all the time. He'd been the one to come and play with his hair, talk so gently with him. He eased off the bed and walked over to the widow, resting on arm on the sill as he leaned forward, just looking at the night filled sky.
Dean followed, walking over and wrapping his arms around Roman's waist. He rested his head on Roman's shoulders, breathing softly. He knew he wasn't the one that Roman really wanted to be with, even after everything. His fingers tightened in Roman's shirt, that bitter ache of not being enough still there with him.
Roman could feel Dean's frustrations, the tension in his body as he stood there clinging to him. One hand rose to rest against Dean's, uncurling the tight fingers to rest smoothly against his stomach. "It'll pass," he murmured, his voice cracked with emotion. He knew Dean would understand what he meant.
Dean nodded, allowing himself to relax for a moment against Roman's back, his eyes narrowing on the carpet, his heart thumping uncomfortably in his chest. He let out an uneven breath. "Roman—"
"I know," Roman answered, dropping his hand from Dean's and turning into his arms. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Dean's shoulder. "Just… just hold me for a little while."
Dean felt his jaw tighten as he did just that. His arms were tight around Roman, the other man's head tucked into his neck. One hand rose to run through the long tresses, hoping the motion would soothe Roman at least a little bit. He just wanted to be everything Roman needed. He might never hold Roman's heart like Seth had, he may never be embraced like his lover, but he wanted to be the one Roman wanted, the one he needed. "Rome," he murmured, his hand stilling in Roman's hair. "You've got to let go."
Roman's jaw tightened, his grey eyes closing as his hands clutched the back of Dean's shirt. "I know," he whimpered, heart pounding as his chest tightened. He knew Dean was right. He knew it deep down that he had to let Seth and his memory go and move on. "I… I just… I don't know what I did Dean. Why did he just drop me? Why did he leave us?"
Dean's entire body stiffened, Roman's breath growing harsher before it cracked at the end. "I'm here Rome," he breathed, holding the other man just a little tighter. "I'm not going anywhere. So breathe, okay? Breathe for me." His voice was soft, soothing as he pressed a kiss to the side of Roman's head, moving them over to the bed.
Roman just clung to Dean, trying hard to hold back the burning tears. He was a mess, everything about him was a mess after everything. It had been months and still, he couldn't handle the fact that Seth had walked out, Seth had left him after all their plans, all their talks of the future. He'd been left holding onto the shattered dreams while Seth just turned his back and walked away like they, like Roman had been absolutely nothing.
His heart was still broken, barely starting to mend. He wasn't looking for someone to try and swoop in and glue the pieces back together. He didn't want that. He wanted to do it himself, stitch himself back up and take things slow. He wasn't ready for anything more than friendship with anyone, and even that was a fine line.
He knew Dean was only trying to help him, try and hold him together the best he could. He knew Dean was doing his best at being supportive, but even after the last several months he wasn't ready. He just needed Dean to ease up on him, give him a little more patience. He knew that was hard, especially for Dean, but that's exactly what he needed.
Dean pulled back a moment later, stripping his shirt and tossing it to the floor. He was silent as he did the same to Roman's shirt. His blue eyes didn't dare wander as he unfastened his belt and undid the fastening of his jeans. They slid to his ankles and he stepped out of the pool of fabric, walking over to his bag to grab a pair of shorts. He pulled them on, walking back over to Roman. "C'mon, get undressed. It's late," he eased, giving his best friend a small smile. "It's supposed to be cold tonight, I can turn the heat up, if you want."
Roman shook his head, walking over to his own suitcase and pulling out a pair of lounge pants. He quickly changed from his jeans into the lounge pants, walking back over to the bed and pulling the cool sheets and comforter back. He sighed softly, getting under them, the room suddenly bathed in complete darkness.
Dean carefully made his way over to the bed and climbed in as well, moving close enough to wrap his arms around Roman, pulling the other man into his chest, letting a very smile, fragile smile rest on his lips as Roman rested his head on his chest, the tattooed arm snaking around his waist, holding them close together.
The minutes ticked by for Roman, the room completely silent apart from Dean's even breathing and the very faint rumbling of the room's heater. He took a breath, pulling back from Dean's lax arms. He didn't move far, just enough to put a little space between him and dirty blond. He looked over the relaxed face, Dean's lips slightly parted.
Roman let his eyes fall to the pillows, tucking an arm under his head for support. He wanted to move on, start over. He really did. He wanted to put Seth behind him and try and have the happiness he knew he deserved. It was just harder than he'd ever thought.
Seth had really been the one. He'd been everything, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect lover. He'd been everything and more to Roman. He'd been Roman's everything, and it was just hard trying to believe that Seth hadn't felt the same way.
Grey eyes moved up to Dean's handsome face, his brows furrowing as he let out a little sigh. He knew all too well that Dean was just trying to help him, trying to be the one to save him. He was thankful, because without Dean he probably would've crawled inside of a bottle to try and forget about the other man.
A tiny smile touched his lips. Dean had always been there, from the beginning, long before him and Seth, before The Shield. Dean had really been his rock, his go to person. He was his best friend, his brother, someone he could fall on anytime he needed someone.
He let out another sigh, reaching out and resting a hand on Dean's chest, moving back in. He'd done so much to Dean already. He knew Dean didn't want to lose him and he didn't want to lose Dean either. Ever since Seth left them, Dean had stepped up to the plate to take care of him. Dean held him, kissed his forehead, soothed him. Dean was the one that was trying to glue him back together without being pushy about it.
He knew he had to get over Seth, not just for himself, but for Dean to. He was only dragging him down too. He was using Dean's love for him as a crutch. His arm wrapped around Dean's waist, pulling him in close. "Dean," he whispered, nuzzling of the other man's stubbly cheek with his nose. "Dean."
Dean groaned, tightening his arms around Roman, holding him against his chest.
Roman could feel his heart jump in his chest, something he hadn't felt for months. He smiled, chuckling almost bitterly as he pressed a kiss to Dean's collarbone. He wanted to give into that feeling, allow Dean to be the one that caused his heart to frequently twist up in his chest.
He wanted that.
He wanted to move on.
He wanted Dean.
Roman wanted to allow himself all of it.
The bronze hand jerked back, his jaw tightening as he pulled free from Dean's loosened grip completely. He bit his lower lip, pushing the blankets away and standing. He walked back over to the window, looking out onto the shining lights of the city below.
He wanted it, but he couldn't give it to himself. Dean was the last person he had, someone he trusted and loved in his own way. He wasn't going to ruin that. He'd been left once already, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it if Dean did the same to him. He couldn't put himself in that kind of position again. He couldn't hurt himself or Dean. He didn't want to take that chance.
Grey eyes closed, holding back the burning tears. His hands balled into fists on the window sill, his body growing tense as he took a shaky breath. Damn it, damn it all, he wanted all this to stop. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted the emotional scars Seth had ripped into him to just heal and stop bleeding. He wanted to try and explore whatever it was him and Dean could have.
A tear slipped from the tight hold, black lashes slowly rising, vision completely blurred. He didn't want to use Dean. He didn't want to use Dean anymore than he already was. He'd been taking every kind thing Dean had been doing and holding it close to him. He wanted to make sure it was real with Dean, not just him clinging to Dean's kindness and twisting his own emotions to mirror how Dean felt for him.
"Stop hiding Rome," Dean said sleepily, wrapping his arms around Roman's waist, pressing his chest flush with the Samoan's back. "Let me in, I promise, it's okay."
Roman nodded, feeling stupid that he hadn't heard Dean wake or the rustling of the blankets as he'd gotten up. He turned in the strong arms, looking into the blue eyes. He searched them for the answers he desperately wanted to find. "Dean," he whimpered, calloused hands coming up to wipe away the tears that had been slowly leaking down his cheeks. "I… I…."
Dean hushed Roman, shaking his head. "No matter what, I'll be here for you Roman," he said firmly, pressing their foreheads together. "Believe that."
Roman smiled at that, his hands coming up to wrap around Dean's, who were currently gently cradling his face. He leaned in, pressing a soft, feather like kiss to Dean's lips, his eyes closing.
Dean was more than a little surprised at the brush of lips against his, but he took the fragile show of affection. He waited until Roman slightly pulled back, their eyes meeting. His smiled was gone, his blue eyes begging to find the love he wanted in the grey ones ahead of him. "I'll be as patient as you need, okay?" he asked, his voice uneven. He couldn't believe that he was getting so flustered over the tiniest thing Roman could give him. "Come back to bed, we'll talk in the morning, or just lay there. I'm not leaving, I couldn't leave you."
Roman nodded, internally yelling for Dean to forgive him for taking so long, for dragging him so thin while he worked out this internal struggle. He followed Dean back to the bed, laying in the strong arms once again, this time with a hopeful smile. He knew it was going to take a little more time before he was really ready emotionally before he tried anything with Dean, but at least he knew Dean would be there, waiting for him patiently.
(A/N): Based on the song Patience by Take That. Fantastic Song, and I couldn't help but write this because it just called to me. Hope you like it! Title is Patience by Take That.
JacktheSinister_JaketheJust
