AN: Okay, I'm sorry that I haven't updated my other stories, but I feel like (as sad as this is) this might make up for something. :D Maybe? I hope so. Now this story is M for alcoholism and character death and for general safety. I'm sorry, I normally don't write things this sad, but it just kind of came out. I highly suggest you listen to "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley ft Alison Krauss as it was the inspiration for this story. I don't own anything related to Teen Titans or Whiskey Lullaby, but I really hope you enjoy this story. Please Review if you read and let me know how I'm doing at writing. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Have a nice night :)
Raven stared at the bottle of Jack Daniel's laying on her table. The liquid inside was a bright amber and the light made it look even better. Raven stood the bottle up and sighed before opening it and taking a drink. She grimaced slightly as the whiskey burned its way down her throat. It had been two months since she had started drinking like this and Raven still wasn't used to the burn of alcohol.
A second swig followed by a cough.
A third.
A fourth.
Raven stared hazy eyed at the bottom of the bottle, wishing it were full again. Being half-demon, alcohol didn't affect Raven as much as it would've if she were completely human. It took a lot more to even get her buzzed.
It seemed as if in the two months Raven had picked up drinking as a crutch she was rarely sober. She needed the alcohol to keep the pain away from her. To keep Her off of Raven's mind. Raven stood on wobbly legs as the image of Jinx flashed through her mind. She stumbled to the kitchen, almost knocking over her coffee table in the process, and reached on top of the fridge where her bottles stayed. She opened another bottle and took a swig of the burning liquid before slowly making her way back to the living room.
It was the same routine every night. Raven would drink in excess (even in demon's terms) and then the next morning she would vomit up a mixture of amber fire and blood. She didn't stop though. Ever since what she had seen, alcohol was all that would erase the pain momentarily. Even though it would dull it though, it would never completely rid the sorceress of the pain.
Raven drank more and more, hoping that the memories would stop flashing through her head. She curled up with the bottle and held her hands over her eyes, as if trying to prevent them from coming in, but the memories kept flooding her mind.
It had been a month and a half since Raven had last seen Jinx, and she was excited to be able to see her girlfriend again. She had been undercover on a top-secret mission for the Titan's to try to bust a black magic cult that had stolen and sacrificed Jump's citizens. The only drawback to this mission was that she had to infiltrate the group, and doing that meant that she had to cut contact with anyone that she would be putting in danger. Jinx wasn't thrilled about this, and neither was Raven, but she understood it was for the best.
Cutting contact was hard, but Raven had done it. She had found out about the cult, their meetings, she had been inducted, and she had done her job perfectly without slipping up. She had given all her information to the Titan's within three weeks, but they insisted that she waited until she knew for sure what she wanted to do to end it. Raven wasn't happy, but she did what they told her, her duty to protect the city did come before her personal relationship with the ex-thief.
Raven smiled though as she made her way to the steps of her girlfriend's house, remembering the last words Jinx said to her, "I'll love you until the day I die Rae, don't worry. I'll be waiting. You just kick some butt and then come home to me." Raven chuckled as she thought of the bubblegum pink hair that would be waiting for her as she grabbed the spare key from behind a stone in Jinx's small garden and unlocked the door. A giggle met Raven's ears and her heart soared at the sound she had missed for almost two months.
Raven had figured Jinx was watching a cartoon or something, so she took a moment to look at the pictures hanging on her girlfriend's wall. Most of them were of Raven and Jinx together, a few were only of Raven, and a couple were of Mammoth and Gizmo. Raven tried to wait a bit longer to see Jinx, but Love screamed at her to hurry up. Happy and all of her other emotions agreed. Raven made her way quietly up the stairs to Jinx's bedroom before opening the door quickly and gasping as her heart dropped to the ground at what she saw.
Jinx's giggles turned into a horrified squeak as she tried to cover her shirtless body. Next to her though, was a boxer-clad Kid Flash staring fearful at the half-demon Titan. Rage snapped in Raven's mind as she heard glass shatter from downstairs. She turned quickly and made her way downstairs to get away from the scene. Raven didn't feel hurt at the moment, she felt murderous. She had to get out of there before she lost control of Rage and ended someone's life.
Jinx pulled on a shirt before running after the other woman. Raven stepped over the glass on the floor from the broken picture frames, courtesy of Rage, and made it out of the house before teleporting as far away as she could to the sounds of Jinx screaming at her to wait.
Raven screamed at the empty ocean from where she was on an abandoned beach. Her powers lashed out at the water. Bursts of black tried to cut through the sapphire waves, but did nothing more than slide through them harmlessly. Noticing that this wasn't helping she aimed her soul self at the large cliff next to where she was and attacked it. Chunks off rock fell into the empty blue abyss and she let all of her anger out.
"How DARE she do this to me!" Her mind screamed to the air, but nothing and nobody answered. Raven dropped to her knees as her anger and rage ran its course. The pain started to flow freely through the girl's body. The waves created by the rocks falling lapped emotionless at Raven's knees. Raven stared out across the water and tried to cut off the pain in her chest, but, for once, she couldn't. Jinx was a part of Raven's heart that had just been torn from its place and Raven felt it. She hadn't thought that Jinx would do something like this, but then again Jinx always was a wild card.
Raven shivered as a wind picked up off the ocean, signaling that a storm was coming. Raven teleported to the one place that she knew nobody would find her, the run down dive bar in the rough district of Jump. She grabbed a seat and ordered the strongest whiskey they had. After five shots of that, Raven noticed the pain in her chest had started to numb a bit. She liked this.
Raven also liked how the more whiskey she drank, the less she felt. One hour, and seven more shots, later, Raven felt good. She had mostly forgotten about Jinx and was only focused on the raw burn of alcohol on her throat. The bartender had asked her multiple times if she was okay, but she waved him off every time and just ordered another shot.
It was midnight before Raven even thought of going home. She hadn't even thought of it until She walked in. The pink hair of Jinx walked right into the bar, and Raven walked right out before someone could say "Hey isn't that-" and they had tried. Raven still had enough wits about her to not confront Jinx while in her state.
Raven went to the same bar every night that week. She didn't think she had a problem, but to everyone else it was obvious. She kept drinking more and more, eventually giving up going to the bar, and kept buying bottle after bottle. She stayed this way for two months.
Raven's stomach lurched and she hurriedly made her way to the bathroom. She had barely shoved her head into the toilet before her stomach rebelled and a mixture of whiskey and stomach acid burned its way up her throat and out her nose and mouth. Tears rolled down Raven's face as she went through this process four more times before she could finally flush the toilet and lean her back against the cold, tile wall of her bathroom.
Jinx's face haunted her in every reflection, even in the glint of the bottle that Raven held in her right hand. Raven took another swig of the poisoned amber in her hand before laying down and curling up in the bathroom. She shuddered as the cold closed in on her now frail body.
Raven's body tried to scream through her drunken haze that something was extremely wrong, but it couldn't cut through. Raven didn't feel her speeding heart rate. She didn't feel the chill of Death's fingers as he traced her cheekbones. Raven didn't know that something was happening to her. All she knew was the feeling of liquid warmth in her hands.
Raven took another drink of the bottle to try to warm herself up. She felt as if the world was in slow motion. She had never been this drunk before, and she didn't like it. The only good thing though, was that she had finally drunk her pain away. She had finally forgotten about Jinx. Raven curled up tighter and held onto the bottle in her hands as if her life depended on it. Raven's eyes fluttered shut, her body finally succumbing to the dark.
That was how she was found in the morning after not answering her com for an emergency. Robin opened the door and tried to hold down his breakfast as he called the rest of the team. Starfire was the first to get there and by the sound of her sobbing and the sight of her clinging to Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy knew what had happened.
The next day Raven was given her burial under the willow tree that she had read under so many times. It overlooked the waves where she had spent her first night alone once again. The night where she had put the bottle to her head and tried to decide when to pull the trigger. The team found it fitting that she should be there after her body had finally decided it was time.
The funeral was small, just the Titan's, a few honorary Titan's, and some people Raven had known. The team had wanted to keep the service private and keep the public away, but one person came that the team couldn't help but send hate filled glares at.
Her pink hair flowed in the wind as she tried to hide the tears making their way down her face. She knew she deserved the Titan's hate, and she took the pointed stares with the grace that only the damned could muster. She stayed long after the rest of the visitor's had left. She wouldn't speak as they left, hissing names under their breath as they walked by.
Jinx sighed as Robin and Starfire finally let, leaving her alone with the grave. A faint scent clung to Jinx's breath and she knelt and broke by raven's grave. It was the scent of danger. It was the scent of destruction and pain. It was the scent of liquid fire that would burn someone from the inside out if they let it, and Jinx was letting it.
Jinx got up from Raven's grave hours later, and started to walk to where she knew she would feel welcome. A small dive bar in the rough part of Jump. Before leaving though, she kissed her fingers and put them on the hard dirt that she had just been laying on.
"I didn't mean for this to happen, I'll see you soon my love." Jinx whispered, and walked away from the grave as the first drops of rain started to fall.