I used to try to convince myself that I really did have friends, that there might actually be people outside my family that actually care. Silly me for thinking there might be people that actually give a damn.
The A-List, the self proclaimed leaders of Casper High used to swear they were my friends, you know, up until I lost the money that got them to recognize me in the first place. Then again, I'm the one that fell into the trap of those ass holes. They don't care about anything except themselves and social status. At least I tried to branch out a little further than just that. Sure, I'll admit I wasn't the best about straying away from all the shallow shit they get obsessed with, but I tried to care about something else. They never even tried to care about something that might actually matter.
So why the hell am I so surprised at the fact that they so easily turned on me?
I knew who they were from the very start, so why does it surprise me that they don't actually give a damn when my life hits the fan? Why the hell am I surprised to find they only ever cared about what they could get out of me, not who I really was as a person?
Maybe I just got too good at pretending they could actually care.
Look at me now. Now, I'm just a pathetic little loser girl that no one actually gives a damn about.
Maybe I ought to stop pretending and at least try to make friends, real friends, with people like Danny's group, but...this fantasy that they'll change their minds hurts a lot less than real life.
After all, at this point it seems I'm better off alone anyway.
Annnnnd...there I go ranting in one shots again...
And for anyone reading "Just Out of Reach" I haven't forgotten about that, I'm actually going to finish that up now. :)
Invisible One