Cat snuggles up next to Jade, sniffing and wiping her eyes. Jade looks down at her and shrugs, in an "I told you so," way. She moves over on the couch, shrinking away from Cat. "You're getting tears all over me, you know."
Cat sniffles again, wrapping her arms around herself and bringing her oversized cardigan in. She looks at Jade with those puppy dog eyes – the same ones that got Jade to drive her to the animal hospital when she dropped the kitten in the pool – the same eyes that made the two become friends to begin with and pouted, her strawberry lip gloss scent wafting up so Jade could smell it.
Jade shrugs again and faces the TV, laughing half-heartedly when Girly Cow fell out of the sky. Cat laughed shakily, her voice sounding desperate. Jade sighs.
"Please don't be so sad." Jade knows that it takes a lot for Cat to not turn her head away. "It's not your fault." Cat tilts her head, trying not to cry. She blinks away hot tears that sting her eyes.
"Then why do I want to cry from the moment I wake up, till the moment I fall asleep? Why do I hate myself?" Jade paused.
"I don't know," she admitted. Jade wraps her arm round Cat and rests her head on top of Cat's. Cat cuddles into Jade. "Just….Just be okay? Face tomorrow." Cat shakes her head, swallowing her tears.
"I don't know if I can, Jade!"
"Wipe your eyes and be proud of yourself. You have so much to be proud of, Cat. Don't waste it." Cat gives a small smile. She touches Jade's arm.
"I wish I was like you," Cat says. Jade shakes her head this time, and smiles at Cat.
"No, you don't. You want to be Cat, Cat."
"Okay." Cat nodded, breathing in. "I want to be Cat." Jade nods and watches the movie. Cat wobbles to hold tears again, thinking of months ago. Jade glances over.
"I wish you could be happy, instead." Cat is flashed back to months ago.
"Cat! Please, be quiet. I'm trying to get out of this junction without killing us all." Cat sighs and leans back, deflated.
"Okay, daddy. I'll be quiet." Cat's father was always short with her, from the moment she was babbling and toddling around the house. One day, Cat touched her brother's model toy boat, and knocked it over. Cat apologised profusely, and her brother gave her a kiss and let it pass. Her father wasn't so nice.
"How could you ruin your brother's hard work? You little brat!" Cat cowered in her mother's arms.
"Now, Chad, don't you think you're being a little hasty? Dustin doesn't mind!"
"He feels sorry for her, that's all!" He shouts.
"Yes, with a father like you, I would too!"
"Well with a mother like you, I'm surprised she's not been sectioned yet!" Cat's mother gasps, putting Cat down then grabbing her hand, taking Dustin's hand and walking out of the door, their heads held high. It didn't last long. They went back in the morning.
"Is there anything coming up left, Dustin?" Cat heard as she zapped back to reality.
"No," Dustin said, leaning back again. Cat sang to herself happily. Her dad turned round angrily.
"Stop singing, you sound awful. And will you stop with that look; it really gets on my nerves." Cat's mother pressed her lips together.
"Now, Chad, please, be civil." Cat hung her head. That never worked. Cat bit her lip, waiting for the stupid smile her dad always plastered on his face. There it was. She lurched forward.
"Don't treat me like dirt anymore! I hate you!" She clawed at his face, truly cat like and then curled into a ball and bawled her eyes out. Her brother put his arm on her protectively as their father turned round again.
"Don't hurt her." He said with venom in his voice. Their dad reached out to her, ready to smack or slap or hurt her in anyway. Dustin shoved him away. There is a deafening screech as the car spins out of control into the ditch. Cat's own screams scare her. Her brother's painful last words – the "I love you" that broke her heart.
"I love you too!" She'd screamed, clutching her brother's hand. In the last moments he'd curled around her, putting his arms round her, and the blood spilling out of his body matched her hair. Cat sniffles and screams, tears pouring. She screams another "I love you" and kisses him. The colour drains from her face and the breath is knocked out of her as she feels him go limp. She wipes her eyes and nose. "Please don't leave me. I love you."
He left her. Why should no one else?
Jade's shaking Cat. Cat's frightened by her own screaming again. "Cat! Cat, you're okay. I'm here. I love you, it's fine, everything's okay."
"It happened again, Jade, it happened again."
"I'm so sorry Cat. It's okay though. You're okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Jade sighed, holding Cat tightly. She leaned her head against Cat's again. Jade kisses her head lightly and pulls her closer. "I love you. I won't leave you." Cat twitches her lips.
"I love you too," she decides finally. The two girls stay there on the couch until daybreak, feeling sane and content in each other's company.
Jade can't fix all of Cat's problems; all she can do is love her the best that she can, and that's all Cat's ever wanted.
A/N:
Based on Darlin' by Avril Lavigne, and I hope you liked it.