Ok, be very open minded towards this story, it's really hilarious. Please review, we want to at least know that people are reading our stories. But anyways, this story is a combination of events that happen to Mario and his friends behind the scenes... kind a like a 'Day in the Life of...' Enjoy!

Mario Bros.: What really happens…

By Rolly-Polly

and

Twiggy

Episode 5: Dookie Surprise

Bowser was ready; fully loaded for what lay ahead. His army of hardy turtles chanted behind their leader… "What are we doing again?" A rather bewildered Hammer Bro. asked while peering over at his nearest comrade. Of course, his nearest comrade was a Goomba with a lazy eye. The lazy eye rolled around in the moldy eye socket.

The Hammer Bro. stared at the retarded Goomba for only a few seconds before saying, "Dude, seriously… you need to get that eye checked out," the Goomba attempted to look up, "it's been there for a month."

"SHUT UP!!!" Bowser screamed, quickly causing his army to fall to silence and listen to their monstrous leader. Their king turned on his massive heels and faced his large eyed audience (not including lazy eyes). "Here's the plan!" They all groaned and rolled their eyes. "We're ambushing Peach's castle… AGAIN!" More groans were heard; Bowser's angry stare scoped around attempting to find the owners of the groans. "So, stay orderly, and MARCH!"

Bowser slowly stomped down a green tinted hill, his army followed after, only having to walk. From the castle's point of view, the immense turtle army charged towards them, a cloud of dust followed behind their stamping stumps (turtle feet).

Before he knew it, Bowser and his scaly militia stood before the pink castle doors. He gasped for air, while everyone waited in silence for him to catch his breath. A Koopa couldn't help but notice that the hill they had walked down was only a few yards away. Finally straightening his posture, Bowser announced, "We have arrived! Bitches!"

"Duh…" A voice cooed from the large crowd. Bowser ignored the rude statement, and busted through the colossal doors and stood in the threshold roaring and blowing fire about the foyer. No one seemed to be present in the castle… which would only make it easier for him!

"Finally! We can take over! NO ONE CAN STOP US!" He bellowed. "Not even Mario…"

"Duh…" The voice echoed a second time. Bowser glared over his shoulder before continuing with his dominant speech.

"This is… THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!" Bowser snarled while showing his fangs.

"Duh…"

"Who keeps doing that!?" Bowser faced his audience again. The crowd stood still, a cough every now and then… crickets. No longer caring, he began to step into the royal foyer, but before he could lay his foot down…

"BOWSER, NOOOOOOOO!" A scream from the crowd.

"What?" Now noticing that he was about to step his large foot down into a steaming heap of turds. Bowser brought his foot back and stared down at the unnaturally large piece of crap; once again, silence and crickets.

A curious Hammer Bro. popped out from behind Bowser's leg and pointed at the sizzling pile of poop. "What's that?"

Bowser had reached his breaking point, and decided to quit. "Ok," he began, backing out of the doorway. "C'mon boys, we're going home. It's not worth it."

Rolling their eyes with exasperation, the turtle army groaned and turned around, beginning their journey back over the hill. "Last time it was one turd, this time it was a whole pile!" someone complained. "What's next? A whole truckload?"

"SHUT UP!!! This is THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!" Bowser roared.

"Exactly."

Toadsworth poked his spotted head into the foyer of the castle, looking around to make sure Bowser had actually left this time. Seeing that he had, the mushroom smiled and walked towards the pile of feces, staring down at it for a moment. Then, without hesitance, he leaned over and scooped up a handful, bringing it to his little mouth. Chuckling happily, he shoved it in his pie-hole and rubbed his stomach. "Mm, mm, good."

So that basically confirms this episode. By the way, the episodes are going to be real scattered, but that makes it funnier.