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Chapter One-Ever the Same
"Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down"
Carol shifted her weight from one foot to the other, stifling the urge to sigh. The two women in front of her were nitpicking the menu. Questions about everything from the salad dressing to the ice in the drinks. If they were so opinionated they should have chosen a different place to spend their lunch break instead of Dale's Dine-In.
The stuffy women finally ordered hamburgers and fries, with no salt. Carol forced a smile, though she was gripping her notepad a little tighter as she headed toward the kitchen. Noting that a group of men had taken seats at a table in the corner, looking around for their waitress.
Her co-worker, Andrea, passed her with her hands full of food. The blonde gave her a sympathetic smile, apparently having witnessed her exchange with the women a few moments before.
"Hey," Maggie Greene said, appearing beside Carol after she handed the order over. "You gonna need help with those guys?" She nodded toward the men in the corner.
"Probably," Carol admitted. "I'll find you." Maggie gave her a nod and disappeared.
Carol filled her lungs with air and started toward the group. Her feet ached, her head hurt, arms sore, even her fingers felt numb. She'd been at this job for nearly a month now and she still hadn't gotten used to it. The group of men in the corner were covered in dirt and talking in loud voices.
"What'll it be, boys?" she asked, trying to hide the tiredness she knew was seeping into her voice. Helpless to fight it anymore.
One at a time, the men's eyes raked over her before giving their order. Walking back to the kitchen she glanced up at the clock over the register, it was just after twelve o'clock. It would be another five hours before she got off. Clenching her jaw, she took the plates from the window and hustled over to the two stuffy women from before. She knew they probably weren't going to be leaving her a big tip in the first place but she didn't want to give them a reason to stiff her completely.
The bells over the doors clanged signaling a new arrival. Another group of people, seven in all. They took seats at two tables in her section and she allowed herself a heavy sigh.
-line break-
Carol didn't arrive home that night until close to midnight. Her co-worker Jacqui called in at the last minute to say she couldn't make it. Her husband Jim had fallen ill again and she needed to stay with him. Dale operated a twenty-four hour restaurant. As he liked to say, "We're not always doing business but we're always open."
When she closed the door behind her the atmosphere of the house immediately threatened to choke her. Ed was upstairs in bed, of course. It was where he stayed now, ever since he'd lost his job at the furniture factory. That was why Carol had been forced to look for a job herself. They were in danger of losing their house, their bills overdue and their kitchen bare. She did what she had to do to take care of Sophia. Ed didn't care, he sat around watching TV and eating everything she brought into the house.
Quietly, she walked into the kitchen. Sophia had washed the dishes and straightened up a little. There were no leftovers in the fridge and Carol had to assume they hadn't eaten. She crept up the stairs and slipped into her sleeping daughter's room. Laying a hand gently on her shoulder, she shook her awake.
The girl blinked in the darkness. "Mom?"
"I brought you a cheeseburger," Carol said, pushing the sandwich into her hands. "No fries this time, though." She smiled.
Sophia sat up and clicked on her lamp. "Thanks," she said excitedly. Almost tearing the paper in pieces in her haste to get to the sandwich.
"Slow down, sweetie, no one's going to take it from you," Carol said with a smile.
"You look tired," her daughter observed.
"I'll be fine."
The girl chewed slowly now. "Can't you find a better job?"
"I don't really have a lot of options," she said patiently. A high school diploma didn't get you very far these days. She hadn't gotten the chance to go to college because of Ed and she regretted it immensely now.
"Couldn't you go back to school now though?" Sophia asked, they'd had this conversation before.
"We can't afford it. This is the best option right now. Things will get better, I promise." She leaned forward and placed a kiss to Sophia's forehead. "Just hang in there, kiddo. We'll be okay. We always are."
Sophia stared at her, wanting to believe her mother's words. "Okay," she said finally. "If you say so. Is dad ever getting another job?"
Carol stiffened. "I don't know," she said honestly. "We'll talk about this tomorrow. Sweet dreams." She gave her daughter another kiss and left her to her meal. Pausing outside her daughter's room, she looked in the direction of her own. She took a deep breath and headed back downstairs without a sound. For a few days now, she'd been keeping clothes in the laundry room. Now she slipped into an old t-shirt and some shorts to sleep in and went to the couch to go to sleep.
She had been telling Ed she was sleeping on the couch because she'd come in so late and didn't want to wake him. That was partly true because if she woke him she would surely be in for a beating. The main reason was that she couldn't stand to be around him anymore than she had to. He'd never been all that great of a husband and he certainly wasn't winning any father of the year awards anytime soon. Ever since losing his job though, he'd gotten worse. Losing his temper over the slightest thing, hitting her harder and more often. Neglecting his daughter, choosing to eat his fill and letting Sophia starve. He didn't even seem to care about their financial situation that was bringing Carol to tears every night.
Settling into the cushions, she listened to the stillness of the house. The family pictures on the wall seemed fake. Sophia's most recent school picture was framed on the coffee table. Carol stared at it, tears falling from her eyes as she stared at the picture. She and Sophia shared the same hollow eyed look and it was killing her.
-line break-
"Daryl, get your brother out of here!" the supervisor, Nick yelled across the room.
The man in question looked up from the motorcycle we was working on and sighed. Merle Dixon sat on the hood of a car, waving a wrench in the air and threatening to let it go at any moment. Daryl stood up, wiping his hands on the rag he kept in his back pocket.
"Come on, Merle, let's go," he said.
"Nah, baby brother, everythin's all right here," Merle said, his speech slurring just a little.
"No, come on, Nicky said ya gotta go." He didn't want to go near Merle while he had that wrench in his hand. Luckily Merle dropped it when his head snapped up to look at Daryl.
"So? Fuck wha' Nicky says. I work here, I'm here to work."
"How ya gonna work when you're three sheets to the wind?" Daryl snapped. "C'mon." He pulled his brother from the car, Merle struggling at first. "Gimme your keys."
"I can drive," Merle protested, shoving him roughly. "I drove here didn't I?"
There was a struggle but Daryl got the keys and shoved his brother in the cab of the truck. To his surprise, Merle was silent for most of the drive. Speaking for the first time, he said, "Hey, Darlena," Instantly, Daryl bristled. He hated that nickname. "Why don't you pull in there, we can get somethin' to eat. Be good for me." He patted his tummy to emphasize his point.
Though he wanted to refuse, he said nothing. Daryl parked the truck and the brothers went inside. Merle walking on his own, not stumbling anymore.
"I don't know why you wanna do this to yourself," Daryl muttered to him as they opened the door.
"Shut up," Merle snapped. His eyes carefully scanned each face in the small diner before finally deflating, obviously disappointed. He let Daryl lead him to a booth. A pretty blonde waitress approached them promptly. She sighed when she recognized the brothers.
"Dixon, she's not here today. And you need to leave her alone," Andrea told him. "Her and her sister."
Merle looked up at her. "What the fuck you goin' on about? Just came to get somethin' to eat with my baby brother. Is that all right with you?"
Daryl shook his head at him, embarrassed by his behavior.
"Yeah, alright," Andrea said. "What do you want?"
"Coffee." Merle sniffed. "Black. And don't spit in it."
She smirked. "How about you, Daryl?"
"Eggs. With bacon. And coffee."
Andrea gave him a nod he didn't see and walked away.
"Merle-"
"Don't start with me, Darlena. Not right now." He rubbed his hands over his face.
"You gotta problem. Piss ass drunk and it ain't even ten in the mornin'. Nicky might fire your ass after the way you was behavin' earlier," Daryl said monotonously. "It's your own damn fault and you know it."
"I do know it," Merle snapped. "Just fuckin' shut up already."
Daryl shook his head. Andrea brought his breakfast and he ate in silence, watching Merle pour salt in his coffee and stare into it as if it were telling him the secret of the universe.
"That coffee taste good?" Daryl asked.
"'S'alright." Merle finally took a sip and grimaced. "Tastes like fuckin' shit."
"Cause ya been pourin' salt in it, dumbass."
Merle shot him a death glare. "You bout fuckin' done so we can go?"
Daryl took his last bite of eggs and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."
They stood up together and started to leave. Merle wasn't paying attention to where he was going and bumped into one of the waitresses, almost knocking her down. On pure instinct, Daryl's hand happened to shoot out and grab her wrist, keeping her from busting her ass. She had a pretty face, with blue eyes and graying hair. She started to apologize to Merle but his harsh words cut her off.
"Watch where the fuck ya goin', dumb bitch!"
"Merle!" Andrea yelled behind them. "Leave, now."
He waved his hands at the door. "What a fuckin' suggestion. Like I wasn't goin' that way already. This is such an inconvenience to me, oh no."
Daryl released the woman's wrist and gave his brother a push. He looked back at her, noting her wide eyes filling with tears. "Sorry about him," he said quietly. She didn't answer so he just turned and followed his brother out to the truck, Merle ranting and raving the whole way. He slammed the truck door after him and turned to his brother ready to snap at him, and was shocked to see his big brother had tears in his eyes.
"I don't know what to do, man."
Daryl relaxed against the door. "Quit acting like a jackass for one thing. Quit showing up where her sister works. You know harassing Maggie ain't gonna make Beth feel any better about ya."
Merle seemed to flinch when Daryl said her name. Then anger took over his features again. "Take me home," he snarled.
As much as Daryl wanted to refuse, knowing what awaited them at home, he simply nodded and turned the key in the ignition. At least at home he could keep an eye on him.
-line break-
"Are you okay?" Andrea asked, coming up to Carol.
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Don't pay any attention to them," the blonde said. "Daryl's not so bad and Merle used to be mostly okay." She tilted her head back and forth. "He dated Beth Greene for almost a year."
"Maggie's sister?"
Andrea nodded. "Beth was head over heels for him, if you can believe it. Then he got hooked on some kind of drug and went off the beaten track. She couldn't take it and broke up with him. Now he's worse than ever. Apparently he's still hung up on Beth though. Comes in every once in a while when he's drunk. Usually when Maggie's working so he can grill her about Beth."
"Well, how's Beth doing?" Carol asked.
Andrea shrugged. "She's in college. Psychology major or something. Maggie doesn't talk about her much. I think she fears someone telling Merle." She smiled and walked away, getting back to work.
Carol turned away too, her hand enclosing around her wrist where Daryl had grabbed her. His touch was like an electric current coursing through her body and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why.